Trying to understand justification for one attempt vs e4d

[sharpie526]

Hi, newbie here. I am 35 and my DH is 37. I am desperately hoping to sway girl for baby #3. We have a DD and DS at home (gestational diabetes x 2 - resolved after delivery) both easily conceived with intercourse about every 2 days during FW - no swaying.

I had a MC in March (boy). This pregnancy was unexpected so we were not swaying and in retrospect was the result of "one attempt" likely 1-2 days before ovulation (and we had protected sex -- so a "release" two days prior) -- which in theory should have swayed girl.

I'm trying to understand the justification behind the "one attempt" and also the "jump and dump." Do we know why either of these work? Or is it based on anecdotal success (obviously in combination with diet and other factors)? Since my DH is 37, if we do the one attempt, is your advice to do a "daily release" x 5-7 days before the one attempt? Or should the release be less frequent (i.e. every 2 days) - though this makes me nervous given our most recent experience.

We tried to sway unsuccessfully last month but in retrospect our "one attempt" was spaced too early in the fertile window (4-5 days before O).

Since we are a bit older (and given the timing of recent pregnancy/MC), would you advise starting with one attempt or e4d initially?

Any perspective is greatly appreciated! I really appreciate your time.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'll tell you the backstory of how we figured out how one attempt sways.

When we first started this site, most of us were people who had tried all the swaying stuff and gotten opposite after opposite with them. So we were looking to change things up and see if we couldn't figure out what was actually working and what was just background noise. To this end we decided to track all sway tactics individually, rather than as a package deal (most sway sites that even bother to track results will only keep track of people who do the exact same set of things to sway and this means it is basically impossible to tell what is working and what isn't.

During the first couple years of the site, no one had even guessed that number of attempts might possibly sway. So what I had people do was continue doing the things that everyone always thought swayed - timing, frequency, jellies, supplements, antishistamines, etc. and then add attempts to get pregnant more quickly. It was the worst results we ever got! but because we were tracking by individual tactic rather than "do all this or else", we were able to see some surprising trends. Most of the things we assumed swayed - jelly, frequency, supplements, antihistamine - the same number of people got boys and girls with and without using them. And we saw a very strong trend that number of attempts was swaying - which we had never even imagined could possibly be the case. We had between 70-75% success rate with one attempt (higher range with Clomid and jump and dump) low 60% with 2 attempts, and then all the way down to low 40% range with three attempts - even in people doing otherwise great sways.

Even though we didn't know why, it appeared one attempt was swaying, so I immediately changed course and had people drop all the other stuff and keep one attempt. Our results went up right away and have stayed up ever since, even though more people than ever are still not using all that other stuff. So while I suppose it could be written off as "anecdotal" it feels a lot more of a legitimate observation and not along the lines of "well I saw a couple people get girls that way, so whatever" that the word anecdotal kinda conjures up, if that makes any sense. Over time our numbers with one attempt have dropped a bit, but I believe that is explainable by the number of people who now show up here and refuse to do diet and exercise and ONLY rely on one attempt to sway. But based on that history I still have the greatest faith in one attempt vs. e4d.

Over time, I started to realize that one attempt wasn't working for some people though. Some people were having a very hard time with OPK, or were in more of a hurry to conceive, for example, and could not take chances on missing ovulation due to false negatives on OPK. And I thought about it and realized that there was a way we could be in with one attempt in a more effortless way and then I came up with the e4d method. So far it's gotten very good results, and over time it may totally dethrone one attempt, but here and now I have less confidence in it than I do one attempt. Most of the people who use it have been doing diet and exercise a long time, and have trouble getting pregnant, both of which are associated with more girls conceived, so that may skew the results. It may be that as more people do it, the success rate will drop, and so I'm just not quite there yet like I am with the one attempt.

I would guess that your recent loss (so sorry to hear that ) was not because you had one attempt with regular release beforehand, but in spite of it. Even in best case scenario, with diet and exercise and even Clomid, we still get opposites 25% of the time, so I would really hesitate to look at one attempt and assume that's why you got a boy. I would still have you guys give one attempt a whirl to start with and see how it goes.

The truth is, we don't know why ANYthing works in swaying. People speculate (and I do too) but I find that the speculation about the reasons often interferes with just doing what actually works. People end up going down the rabbithole of taking supplements and eating magic foods and doing all these goofy BD patterns trying to chase down speculation rather than just doing what works. So while I know it feels kinda like taking stuff on faith I recommend that people focus more on just doing what works for most people most of the time.

My recommendation would be for you guys to give one attempt (and fine to do that with daily release of 7-10 days before having that one attempt) at positive OPK a try first before going to e4d. But, it is also totally acceptable to start off with e4d in the "96 hour apart" pattern, and then after a couple months go to the 72 hour apart pattern.

Welcome to the site, BTW, I hope this helps!

[sharpie526]

Thanks so much for this detailed response and for being so generous with your time. This site has been really helpful.

It feels so counter intuitive to do one attempt (as we tried frequently in the fertile window with our other two healthy conceptions) but I am trying to trust the process!

I don't know if I understand the logic behind frequency...I think I read that for men over 35, you prefer frequent release to abstaining before the one attempt -- is that right? Or can it go either way?

My only other questions pertains to people with a history of gestational diabetes or insulin issues...any adjustments to make because of this? The numbers for the myo-inositol look so good, it is tempting to want to add a supplement. Do you think the success is so high because few people have experimented with this to date?

Thank you once again!

[atomic sagebrush]

Men over 35 should do FR because abstaining makes less healthy sperm (and men over 35 have less healthy sperm to begin with.)

I don't yet trust the numbers on myoinositol and believe them to be unnaturally high. BUT, I do think it can be a viable option for people even though I don't think it's as magic-bullet-y as it looks.

I would suggest our alternate diet and you can find that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...rt-3-pcos.html