Next steps to get BFP?

[lastchance4pink]

I'm trying to determine what the next course of action should be to get a BFP that still falls within the girl sway.

Here's a little backstory about my process so far. I went off the mini pill July 2019 when I was 6 months post partum and still breastfeeding. I got my first PP AF in Dec and then got a BFP end of Feb 2020. By April I learned it was a blighted ovum and had my miscarriage from mid April through end of May when I finally got the all clear that all tissue was gone. We began our first cycle of TTC in June withthe following patterns.

Cycle 1: I had one attempt at POS OPK (CD13), AF came after a 26 day cycle.

Cycle 2: had 1 attempt at POS OPK (CD16), had 2 days of spotting on CD28-29, then AF arrived.

Cycle 3: had 1 attempt at POS OPK(CD 14), started spotting on CD26, AF came the next day.

Cycle 4: switched to e4d didn't use OPKs. Started spotting from CD25-29, AF came on 32nd day.

Cycle 5: e4d used OPKS. One of our e4d attempts landed right on POS OPK. We also did 1 more attempt 4 days after POS. Spotting on CD 23, 24 and now today it's CD 26 and spotting is increasing and AF appears to be imminent.

My diet has been good and hasn't been restrictive. I've just been eating what I would consider my normal diet. I eat a small breakfast by 9 or 10, lunch is usually whatever I feed my toddlers (chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, fruit, yogurt etc), and dinner is a palm sized protein and a heaping side of veggies and small amount of carbs (pasta, mashed potatoes, etc). So I'm definitely not going below 1500 cals.

I exercise 4-6x a week from 45min to an hour. My workouts are a pretty even mix between weights and cardio, but based off my fitbit and my chest strap, my heart rate is usually in the cardio range.

Between cycles 3 and 4, I had dropped 10lbs from increasing my steps, cutting back calories, and adding more cardio. With my period being late, I thought for sure that I was going to have BFP, but it was negative and in the meantime I've gained back about 5 lbs.

So. I'm just not sure why I'm not getting my BFP. Is there anything I can add in to help increases my chances? I'm currently not taking any supplements whatsoever. I'm open to any suggestions as I feel like I'm getting down to my last few chances and I'm trying really hard to not stress. I'm 36, will be 37 in June and I personally didn't want to be having a new baby much past that age, plus the age gap between my current 2 and a potential new baby is only increasing. Please help!

[atomic sagebrush]

Are you doing the e4d in the 96 hour pattern or in the every 72 hour?

You need to continue having attempts longer than just one time after OPK. Your ovulation can be late.

Can you please tell me other things you're doing to sway?? Douching or jelly? Abstain or daily release?? Is DH wearing tight undies or hot baths? Are you doing shallow release?

Have you tracked your grams of protein and fat in addition to calories?? That sounds like quite a carby diet which can affect egg quality negatively but I want to rule out the other stuff before we consider your diet.

Why do you feel you're getting down to your last few chances?

[lastchance4pink]

@atomic , I'm doing the Monday/Thursday E4D. I know the OPKs aren't always foolproof, but I've been getting the peak reading usually around CD13. Can I get a peak reading and still have later ovulation? We'll definitely go beyond this next time around.

No douching or jelly. We use coconut oil as lube sometimes but I also used those when I conceived my 2 boys. There's no abstaining. We do frequent release, but definitely not daily release for DH, and also no we don't do shallow release. He wears boxer briefs, no hot tubs. He had been drinking a lot during quarantine but he's been mostly sober the last 2 months. He does partake in smoking some green stuff nightly. That's something new from conceiving my 2 boys. Could that have a negative effect?

I haven't been tracking my food intake but I really doubt I'm lacking protein or fat. I drink a protein shake sometimes for Breakfast and those have 30g. I don't eat low fat foods either. I would say I eat lean foods for the most part, but not low fat. Lunch is definitely my worst meal of the day as far as nutrients go.

Could it be possible for my hormones to be out of whack from my miscarriage in April/May? Since then I've had 2 really heavy periods, and 2 that had super light spotting a couple days before and then 3-4 days of light-medium flow.

Also, I mentioned feeling like I'm running out of chances solely based off personal preference of when I wanted to be done having babies. Last year I wrote out a "plan" and if I've learned nothing else this year, it's that you can't plan something like this because it will almost never pan out.

I'm open to any suggestions!

[atomic sagebrush]

1) ok great with the e4d keep that up

2)yes you can have a peak reading and still ovulate later

3)Drop the coconut oil lube totally, sperm is not meant to swim thru oil

If you need a lube use a small amount of sperm safe, conception friendly jelly like Preseed. Larger amounts may sway blue, so use the barest minimum you need.

4)The "special tobacco" can cut chances of conception but I'd change some other stuff first before making him drop that as it may sway pink

5)Ok. You may still want to take a day and add it up just to be sure because people often over estimate (or underestimate) the amount of food they're eating. Plus, we may want to reduce your carb load to make sure your egg quality is ok.

6)It's probably unlikely that things are still out of whack from the miscarriage this far out. I'm still suspicious of that carby diet possibly causing issues but your periods as you describe them are in no way unusual.

7)If you're ready to add in another attempt I'd do e4d in the 72 hour pattern and then have one more attempt at positive OPK from here on in. Keep going with the e4d even after you think you've ovulated. We could also try adding in female orgasm if you weren't doing that, and laying down 15-30 min. but spend half that time on your tummy.

8)Ok as long as it's a self-imposed deadline. I just wanted to be sure you didn't think your fertility was tanking because you were over 35, as that is really quite outdated and we are finding fertility lasts quite a lot longer than people once thought.

[lastchance4pink]

Thank you, thank you for the super thorough responses! I will track my food intake and report back. I feel like I've been so focused on just getting pregnant the last 2 months that swaying for a girl has kind of been pushed aside, but I very much still want a girl!

I think for this next cycle I will stick with the e4d like we had been doing, but I will make sure to go beyond when I think I have ovulated. We will also drop the coconut oil!

I definitely get in my own head a lot about it being too late for me to have another baby, but I know that's all on me and not what recent findings have shown. It's something just ingrained in me, but I need to get over that and not stress (hello, controlling boy mama).

Anyway, I will post my food intake in the next day or 2 and I'm definitely curious as to what your opinion is on that when I'm able to provide you with more information.

[atomic sagebrush]

It's hard when there's so much out there acting like life ends at 35. But I'm 50, had my last at 42 (after having it very much ingrained in me there was something wrong or bad about having a baby "too late" and everything went perfectly, very easy pregnancy and birth, and no one makes anything out of my age or ability now that she is here! just one of those things people will warn you against doing for no real reason!)

Yep just let me know when you have the nutrient info for me and I"ll take a peek!