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Thread: TTC after MC

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    TTC after MC

    Hi ladies,
    I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks gestation 6 weeks ago (July 7) and got what I think must have been my AF 4 weeks later on Aug 1st. At that point a pregnancy test was negative. I just had an ultrasound yesterday and the doctor said everything looked good but my lining seemed thick. I have been spotting off and on for the entire 6 weeks and I have been taking ovulation strips every day for a while and confused by them! Has anyone been in a similar situation and how disld it turn out? I just want to ttc again :/ We have been BD every 4 days since my period ended and I am going to keep that up!


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    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Truthfully, with an 11 week loss, ovulating and getting your period a month later as if nothing had happened is somewhat unusual so I suspect that was not a true period but breakthrough bleeding. Anything is possible, but ovulating 2 weeks after a late first trimester loss is not that common. So I am concerned that what you thought was a period wasn't, and that means we are in sort of limbo regarding knowing where you are in the cycle and what is really going on.

    How thick is thick? If it wasn't a true period, that might explain why the lining had built up some - you have had nothing but estrogen which can make the lining grow too thick. Did they have a plan of action that they suggested? Have you ever had this finding in the past?

    The apps that have "high" readings on plain strips are junk. They do not work, the darkness of your test really doesn't mean anything at all, and they are NOT the same as a Clearblue test that gives you high/peak readings. Clearblues are measuring changes in hormone levels, and these strips are just telling you the absence or presence of one hormone. And the concentration matters based on your URINE, that percentage they have added there is totally made up BS. The darkness of the OPK does not matter really because your body uses that hormone for other things too, and saying "high" based on darkness is unscientific nonsense (obviously because you could not be high in fertility that entire time!) I truly think these apps should be taken off the market!

    You had one peak reading on the 19th. So I would say that if that was a true peak and not a false positive, you did indeed ovulate then and could be pregnant.
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    Thank you so so much for your response. My tests continue to read high or peak the last couple days so Iím just going to stop testing and wait for my period We have been having attempts every 4 days for 3 weeks now so hopefully that works out when my body is back in business! I havenít told my dh about the 4 day plan- it has just been happening organically so I am happy with the fact that there is no ttc stress right now
    If I donít get my period within the next two weeks I will contact the doctor for further testing.


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    yes that would be my suggestion, forget the OPK, just do e4d and then if an egg shows up you'll always be in the position to catch it. See what happens and keep me posted!

    Hopefully it won't come down to you having to take medication to slough that lining.
    But if it does, just for future reference because doctors are not always great at mentioning this (and will sometimes even tell you the wrong info!!) you need to wait 14 days after the last day you have unprotected sex, with NO unprotected sex in that two weeks' time, and have a negative pregnancy test on THAT day, if they want you to take some medication to bring about bleeding to slough your uterine lining. A negative pregnancy test is not enough because if you've been having unprotected sex you could be pregnant and itnot registering on a test yet. A negative pregnancy test from a week earlier is also not good enough because you might have been pregnant and not far enough along. What can happen, and indeed, has sadly happened to a shocking number of people, is that they've been having unprotected sex, their doctor then gives them medication to bring on a bleed and slough their lining - but they had conceived. Then they have caused themselves a miscarriage because the medication causes the lining to come off. Before taking that medication to bring on a flow, you need to have 14 days with no unprotected sex and a negative pregnancy test the day you are due to start the medication. Not a negative test 10 days ago, 7 days ago, 5 days ago, the day you are meant to start the medication (or 14 days past the last unprotected sex).
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    Noted! Thank you


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    Hi,
    Currently on my period which would be in line with ovulation on Aug 19th but Iím pretty sure I didnít actually ovulate. Seems more like breakthrough bleeding again because itís extremely scant. I am very crampy however??
    I looked up GD therapy threads on here and your opinion was that therapists werenít very helpful in this case. And I already tend to agree that that would probably be the case (unless I magically found one who had GD themselves!) So aside from therapy any ideas on how I can learn to cope with this potentially never happening for me? I have come so close to my dream 3x this past year and a half and Iím cracking. Just bottling it all in because I donít want to put this stress on my husband and every last one of my friends has both genders so thatís not helpful. I just desperately need to find a way to move on and be grateful for what I have but it feels like an impossible task. Thanks


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  9. #7
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    It's totally possible to have cramps with breakthrough bleeding. In many cases, BB seems pretty much identical to a period - people even sometimes have PMS-type symptoms beforehand (because that is down to hormones and a drop in estrogen is a drop in estrogen!)

    Let's have you eat a couple spicy, garlicy meals and take a hot bath and see if we can't get things moving. Go for a long walk, have sex with female O. If not a lot happens that's ok too, but maybe we can get some flow going to wash out that old lining some.

    Yep that's still the case - not only were therapists not helpful, in a surprising number of cases they actually seemed to exacerbate the GD feelings by being judgemental and pretending that GD was caused by childhood trauma instead of a culture telling us constantly that we will never be complete without a child of a certain gender coupled with a totally natural and understandable desire (I mean seriously, OF COURSE some women want daughters!! We aren't freaks or monsters for that, it's natural for some people)

    But here's the thing - in many cases, in life, we don't get the things we want and need through no fault of our own and we are left to cope with that. Children need their parents, but our parents are abusive/absent/have passed away, etc. People want and need loving partners, but not everyone gets that. We want success in our jobs and many times that is denied. Some people want children/more children and do not achieve that. Or good health. Or financial security. And so on. Over time we come to accept that our dreams didn't come true, and realize that we have a lot of other things in our lives that are awesome and that we wouldn't have it any other way. It's not always a painless process but it is something that we all experience many times over the course of our lives.

    The problem with GD is that when you're in it, you're in it. When that possibility is still on the table, it consumes our every waking thought (imagine if your lifelong dream was an Olympic gold medal, and you were actually IN TRAINING for the Olympics! Of course you would think about it constantly!! In fact it would be weird if you didn't!) So the way you're feeling now will not last forever even if you don't get a daughter; once you leave the baby days behind it will wane. Eventually, the seasons of your life change and you will move on and discover all the amazing things that are waiting for you beyond this GD Hell.

    When I was starting this journey, I was doing so alongside a lot of women who decided to move on without trying again. In the meantime, I had my 4th son and my daughter, and these women went about their lives, their career, their family, their marriage, etc. And you know what - the truth is, while I did end up getting a daughter, it did not come without a high price to be paid - in terms of money, time, and me being spread so thin that I couldn't always - or even USUALLY - enjoy having her in the ways that I wanted, because I'm perpetually broke, busy, and tired. And additionally, I had other dreams that will go unrealized because I had her. These women who moved on with their families as they were are doing things like going on vacations and doing fun activities with their kids, posting pictures of margaritas on beaches and swim meets and bragging about their work accomplishments and stuff. Obviously I would never trade her, but the truth is, getting her did not solve all my problems in life nor was it my every dream coming true.

    Of course we all hope you do get your girl, but if you don't it's not the end of the world (even if it feels like it at the time) and it does get better in time. As with any dream that doesn't come true, it may even start to make sense to you someday. Approaching having a daughter as something you wanted, needed, deserved, and yet didn't get, mourning that dream and then moving on is much healthier an approach than treating gender disappointment as some sort of a "secret shame" based in an unhappy childhood and if only we were better/better adjusted people we wouldn't have this experience. Wanting our family to look like what we hoped and dreamed is not a character flaw, but it IS something that we may not get to experience and it is possible to come to a place of peace even when your dreams do not come true.
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    Thanks so much for your response! Great news- my AF really started up last nightÖtook quite a few days to get going but things are happening and that makes me feel like I may be back on track. I will keep up with the e4d.

    Your analogy about training for the Olympics was so spot on. I felt instantly better after reading that. Thank you


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    Perfect!!! Isn't it funny how sometimes we can be so thrilled to see AF! o.O

    Keep me posted on how you're getting along!
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    Hi Atomic,
    Iíve been taking LH strips to see if Iím ovulating again yet and attempting e4d. I had a light peak last week but I wasnít convinced it was the real deal and figured it was so late in my cycle that I wasnít going to ovulate this month. So I decided I would stop tracking and just keep trying e4d. But then yesterday I had a crazy amount of cm and we hadnít had any action in 6 days so I thought I should take a LH test just to make sure. Well it was blazing like I havenít seen before! Cd25? So strange for me. Anyhow we had an attempt right after last night and now I have my fingers crossed! Iíve been trying hard to loose weight since my mc and Iím finally making some headway with that. I have also been taking myo insotol for a month now and maybe thatís part of the reason my cycle is so long? Would the egg be of poor quality because it is so late in the cycle? No rush on responding! Thanks



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