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  1. #1
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    Sad Face Stressing about my pink sway PLEASE HELP

    Hi, sorry for the long post

    I am getting really stressed over my sway as I just cannot stay on track with the diet!

    I was originally supposed to TTC in October but I knew in my heart I REALLY didnít want a summer baby. I had my two boys in summer and really want a winter baby, I also couldnít stick to the diet like I wanted to so kept postponing. Itís been hard but Iíve held off until now and plan to start TTC in February.
    I have been doing some sort of Ďswayingí since about February this year. My calories have been around 1600-1800 but I mostly have really bad weekends. I started with the PCOS version as per atomic recommendation in summer. I find myself often having terrible binges at times where I eat around 3000 calories and eat LOTS of sugar. This is really worrying me but I just seen to have no self control 🤦🏻*♀️

    On the other hand I was training to run half a marathon in October which I did and have kept up the running since. I currently run 3x a week for 50mins-1hour then run 1x a week for 1.5-2hours and cover about 20-30 miles a week. I also walk the dog in between this so average about 5 days a week of exercise.
    My diet is mostly 1600 calories a day 50g protein 50-60g fat (I struggle with this most) And I fast 14-18 hours a day. I eat mostly very healthy such as smoothies, seeds, nuts, wholes grains, legumes etc etc. I am have been vegetarian since December last year and only take folic acid and very occasionally I have 1/4 scoop of protein in a smoothie for flavour (1-4 times a month) The only dairy I eat is the occasional cheese. Iíd say Iím 90% vegan/plant based and DH is the same. I am currently my lowest adult weight and have lost 12kg in total this year but have held steady really since about September, possibly lost 1kg but fluctuates. I drink ridiculous amounts of black coffee 4-5 a day. my BMI is 22

    My DH has just lost a lot of weight and is the lowest weight heís ever been too, although his habits really worry me. He is very healthy and drinks masses of fortified vegan protein and participates in MMA style exercise. He has recently started competing and I worry this will up his testosterone. Heís also signed up to the gym to gain Ďstrength and muscleí he used to ride his bike a lot but has quit that and occasionally runs, but literally for 20 mins at a time.

    We have both got really into drinking red wine and have a glass most nights, I think over Christmas this will be a lot more excessive and we made a Ďpactí to quit sugar and as much processed food as possible. DH isnít aware I mostly want to try to sway.

    I feel like I constantly keep putting TTC back so I can try and make my sway 100% prefect and itís becoming very apparent I just canít. I add 12 weeks and thatís when I plan to TTC but I feel like I canít put it back any further than feb, when it was originally may! I eat so well mon-fri then slip most weekends! Some meals can sometimes be 1000 calories.

    Am I ruining everything? how can I gain more self control?! I also worry maybe Iíve been on the diet too long which is why Iím finding it harder. I ate no sugar from Feb - May, then I got a new job so held off then too! And since then everything seems to have gone to pot. I keep telling myself what is meant to be will be, I could be 100% and still get a boy. But my stress wonít subside. Please can anyone reassure me?!

  2. #2
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    In order to avoid binges, what you need to do is simply eat what you want sometimes. Do your best, but when you feel you're craving something, HAVE IT. All too often, people try to "be good" and never cheat, and then they end up eating and eating "good" foods. Then they realize "well, I just ate 2000 calories of rice and craisins, and I'm still craving the stuff I wanted to begin with, what I'll do is have a huge blowout and eat everything I ever wanted. Then I'll start over again tomorrow and this time I will BE PERFECT!" Then they go to the opposite extreme and cut back too far, feel deprived, and the whole cycle starts anew.

    Throw that cycle away. You are never going to be "perfect" on diet. This is a huge part of why cheating is not only allowed but encouraged, because it stops this binge-purge cycle. If you want something, really truly want it, eat it. It is not a matter of self control, it's a matter of setting yourself up to succeed instead of fail. Even if you had a cheat every single day it would be better than what you're doing now! If you need to, up fat intake to more like 65 g, if you think that would be easier to stick to. Again,

    People have this very mistaken idea in their heads (based on the nonsense diets on other sway sites) where if they can't do diet 110% they have failed and ruined their sway. This simply is NOT the case, and it doesn't even make SENSE. Keep in mind the 80-20 rule, you'll get 80% of the results with 20% of the effort and in order to get that last 20% of results, you have to expend 80% of the effort. And that doesn't work with swaying anyway because you have to be such a control freak to get there, you undermine your sway in other ways and end up having gained nothing. PLEASE just relax on diet to a level you can stick with, cheat when you need to, and you are going to be far better off.

    The rest of your diet is looking great, as is your exercise. If all that is happening is that you're having blowouts on the weekends, try to stop being so hard on yourself, allow yourself cheats as you need them, just do your best (in the realm of sanity, I mean) most of the time and treat those cheats as a tool to get you through as you need them.

    You do not need to postpone any more. You're not doing yourself any good and have simply built this up so much in your mind you're going to do more harm than good if you carry on like this. Set attainable goals and your sway will be just fine I promise.

    As for DH, we have found very little of what they do really seems to matter. Vegan protein seems to sway pink anyway. We have had quite a lot of men who were big into weight training and playing sports (even some professional athletes) who had all or mostly girls so I would not let that worry you too much.
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  3. #3
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    Thank you so much for this, itís really helpful and describes exactly what I am doing. I deprive myself so much I end up binging. I think I will struggle over Christmas but I will follow what you have said and have what I want sometimes instead of nothing and BINGE. I know we have to TTC in feb now and canít back out I think Iím about 9-11weeks out. I need something to just get it out of my head. I think Iíve put it back so much now I feel terrified to even try!

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  5. #4
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    Interestingly, a lot of people think they're going to have huge issues during the holidays but they end up doing just fine, largely because everything feels like a big treat and it's easy to stay in the limits while feeling satiated having a lot of fun and festive foods.

    YES that's exactly what I'm saying - the more you put it off, the bigger it grows in your mind till it's consuming your every waking thought. That is the exact opposite of the mindset you want to have in your sway. Just do your best and DO NOT replace stressing over your diet with stressing over stress. By this I mean, PLEASE do not now, start freaking out and panicking over your mindset, because it's simply the same thing just that you're replacing the focus of your obsessing from diet to "reducing stress" or whatever.

    Everything is fine. Your diet has likely been a-ok. You're doing a lot right and now you have the tools to stop the binge-purge cycle too. Keep up the good work.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  6. #5
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    So this week I am feeling so much better about everything. I have had the odd thing during the week and Iím now sat here on Saturday night having only had a few pieces of fudge tonight instead of full blown binging. Also AF time too so usually craving terribly. I felt the craving creeping in by Thursday so I just had a cereal bar that I was wanting. Iím feeling like I have my head back in the game now and can manage over the holidays too. Iíve kept on my head Ďhave what I want sometimes and try my bestí

    Iím off for my 15 mile run tomorrow! Feeling ready to stop stressing having 2 more cycles and go from there. I will update when I have one, I think for now I will try and stay abway from browsing forums to help stop the obsessing 🙂 so hopefully will be updating with a BFP around feb/March time 🤞🏻

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  8. #6
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    Fabulous! Keep us posted!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

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  9. #7
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    Hello, just wanting to pop back as searching the threads I can only find old advice from like 8/9/10 years ago.

    I know you advocate that there is no magic food etc. but I am curious on porridge oats/oatmeal? I went off it for almost 1 year after having covid as I couldnít stand the smell, but that has gone now and it has always been a staple in my diet prior to this. Like I will happily eat it for lunch/dinner. Usually consists of 60g oats, unsweetened almond milk, chia seeds, flaxseeds, pumpkin seeds, blueberries, raspberries, cinnamon maybe maple syrup or honey. Itís one of my favourite things to eat. On average itís 550 calories 18g protein, 24g fat. That would be my first meal of the day and Iíd only have a second meal.

    I could probably eat this 5-7 times a week. Itís just an easy meal thatís filling and feels healthy, little sugar, little salt. But all the old threads say massive NO

    am I better to cut down or does it seem ok to excessively eat my oat combination like this for a pink sway 🧐

  10. #8
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    Oatmeal does have some components in it that allegedly "raise testosterone", although I thought then and still think now that a) you would have to take supplemental amounts of any of these things to actually sway, and since that time b) have become very unconvinced that "testosterone" is even what is swaying. I really really no longer strongly believe that testosterone in and of itself is truly swaying and I have never thought oats now and then are a big issue (in fact I'd put oats in my LE Diet cookbook for a couple times a week).

    But here's the thing. Some things (avocado, oatmeal, dark chocolate) are not truly necessary and so if people are wanting to limit them, it's fine. They lift right out. But since you enjoy the oat dish, it's ok. Would I likely have it DAILY? Nah, not me personally, I'd prob. limit it to 3x a week but if it's getting you through, then that may be a choice you want to make. It is next to impossible that a serving of oats, even daily, could possibly be raising anyone's testosterone (if in fact testosterone even sways, which it likely doesn't). It's just not necessary for most people, so they choose to avoid it or limit.

    I would suggest, however, limiting flaxseed to 2x a week maximum, regardless of what you decide about the oats. The reason for that is because flaxseed has been shown to cause harm in pregnancy when eaten too much (do not take flaxseed or flaxseed oil in medicinal quantities during pregnancy!) and it is best when pregnant and when TTC to use it even in dietary amounts, no more than twice a week.
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  11. #9
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    Thanks for this. I think once I get back to work I will limit it, this will be next week. I just get sick of bread. My go to lunch when working tends to be whole grain sourdough with peanut butter or hummus. Sometimes falafel and salad wraps.

    I took a huge break over Xmas, 3 full weeks due to covid hitting the house first and just being lazy getting take outs. I gained 4kg but within 5 days Iíve lost it all so just bloat/water retention as I managed to keep some of the running up. I feel in a good place, I know, no matter what I do I cannot control which sperm will eventually fertilise the egg. I can only try my best and whatís meant to be Will be. Iím finding it very easy after the big break and have about 7-8 weeks until we TTC. I have confidence that I have been doing something now for months despite the break.

    One last thing would you recommend olive leaf extract for DH or just leave things as they are?

  12. #10
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    Also, thank you for the info on flax seeds. I do tend to use them minimally and am more a chia seed fanatic 😂 but Iím just gunna cut the oats an have them at times of convenience.

    Just wanted to ask too, B12 - I havenít eaten meat or fish now for 14 months (not swaying related) I was taking folic acid + B12 up until about April/May and since then I have been taking methyl folate liquid form only. I donít eat much dairy at all and eggs are 1-2 times a month if that. So Iím not really getting any B12 except from the oat milk in my coffee which it is added. Should I do as you recommend and lowest dose 2-3x a week and I also want to include iodine (Iím really keen to try for a healthy baby whilst swaying) OR am I ok to skip the B12 for another 8ish weeks? Once I have officially TTC I will take a prenatal or pregnancy vitamin 3 times a week in the TWW as it will help with my anxiety I think.

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