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  1. #1
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    Help! Atomic is trying to KILL ME

    One of the more frustrating iterations of control freakishness I see amongst pink swayers is when people come to me desperate for help with swaying, yet have this underlying (sometimes not so underlying) belief that I am out to get them somehow. By “out to get them” I mean they seem to think I am giving them advice that will undermine their sway, am suggesting things that will prevent them from conceiving - possibly forever, or even that I’m trying to harm them or their unborn baby somehow...by focusing on swaying instead of health, by having a cavalier “anything goes” attitude about health and safety, or by failing to do even the most basic level of research into recommendations I make.

    These seemingly contradictory belief sets often coexist in the same exact people, making answering their questions a roller coaster ride of vaguely accusatory messages:

    Control Freak Mama: atomic, please help me, I will do ANYTHING to have a baby girl!

    atomic: ok try this.

    CFM: Wait what? You want me to stop taking prenatals and eat less meat? Won’t that hurt my baby?

    atomic: Well, of course I’d never suggest anything that could ever a child. Actually prenatals are not necessary till BFP according to the ACOG, and the LE Diet when done properly is 100% in line with World Health Organization recommendations for women in childbearing age, and reproductive endocrinologist guidelines for weight loss prior to conception. “Low Everything” is just the lower range of normal.

    CFM: I don’t feel comfortable with that. I would never forgive myself if something happened.

    atomic: Ok. Keep taking your prenatal - maybe compromise and take it 3x a week. And if you really can’t do diet, you can go vegetarian instead. How does that sound?

    CFM: BUT THAT WILL WRECK MY SWAY!! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY SUGGEST SOMETHING THAT WILL WRECK MY SWAY? I TOLD YOU I WOULD DO ANYTHING!
    atomic:

    shrug.jpg

    Odder still, this “atomic is trying to kill me” mindset often comes from a person who is already doing 10,000 actually dangerous things to sway:

    Control Freak Mama: I have been taking aspirin, cranberry, olive leaf extract, 10,000 mg Vitamin C, Sudafed, Zyrtec, Benadryl, elderberry for my “immune system”, vitex, saw palmetto, licorice root, peppermint AND spearmint tea, a teaspoon of cinnamon morning noon and night, 17 packets of myoinositol, my dog’s prescription for metformin, my mom’s prescription for letrozole only 5 times as much as normal because I’d love to have twins, 100000000000 mg magnesium and twice as much calcium, I snort a gram of cocaine nightly, and I’m also drinking 400 servings of Crystal Light a day.

    atomic: Hmm. That might be dangerous to both you and a future pregnancy. Let’s wean off all that and I want you to be sure you’re taking 1200 mcg folic acid a day.

    CFM: OMG you want me to take THAT MUCH? Is that even SAFE?

    atomic:

    shrug.jpg

    There are also quite a few people who are highly concerned about conceiving in a timely fashion because of (overblown) concerns about age, yet refuse even the most reasonable suggestions to ensure they continue ovulating (and again many of these people are the same people who seem to think I am literally attempting to murder them or their unborn child):

    Control Freak Mama: I really feel I need to conceive immediately because I am 35.

    atomic: Well, that’s actually not true for these 900 reasons I’ll now spell out for you, but I always put a premium on fast conception, for these other 900 reasons I’ll also now spell out for you. Long story short, we actually have just the same length of time to BFP with swaying as those who aren’t swaying - 3 months on average. Anyhoo, how’s your diet going?

    CFM: I’m eating zero grams fat, 10 grams protein, and 800 cals. I exercise 3 hours a day. My BMI is now 17, my ovulation is coming on CD 35, and my LP is 3 days long.

    atomic: What? YIKES!

    CFM: Well, I figured I got pregnant eating this way once before, when I was 22 years old. I think. I wasn’t actually keeping track of my food intake then, to be honest, but I’m just assuming that’s what I ate. It was a boy, so that must mean I need to eat even less now to get a girl, right?

    atomic: No! If you’re even correct about what you were eating over a decade ago, your body has no record of what happened way back then. Above all else, you have GOT to stick in the limits. It’s non negotiable, starvation diets are not allowed. If you keep eating that way, you’ll really hurt your chances of getting and staying pregnant. You may even cause yourself or an unborn baby physical harm! Besides, if you lose ovulation, it may take months or even years to fix, and remember how you were wanting to get pregnant quickly?

    CFM: BUT THAT WILL WRECK MY SWAY!! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY SUGGEST SUCH AN UTTERLY INSANE THING?
    atomic:

    shrug.jpg

    Or this iteration, which I get a fair bit:

    Control Freak Mama: I have been on LE Diet for 3 days, and I noticed I am losing huge handfuls of hair in the shower.

    atomic: Well, that’s not how hair loss works. It takes months of a highly deprived diet to trigger hair loss, and the LE Diet done properly won’t make your hair fall out anyway. Did you just have a baby within the last year, or come off BCP? Been taking hormonal supplements? Because those things really do make you lose hair.

    CFM: Science, schmience, I know it’s the diet, nothing else changed, so I’m going to have my B12 levels checked.

    atomic: Ok. Your call. Keep me posted.

    CFM: Well, as it turns out, my b12 levels were perfectly fine after all. But my hair is still falling out. The doctor says it’s probably because I had a baby in the last year, but then I told him about this crazy diet I was doing and he told me how absolutely insane it all was, even though it is based on World Health Organization recommendations.

    atomic: Well, I disagree with him completely and here is a short novella all about why his claims are incorrect. But it’s your call. Just go vegetarian and do one attempt.

    CFM: YOU WANT ME TO GIVE UP DIET? WHY DO YOU WANT MY SWAY TO FAIL?

    atomic:

    shrug.jpg

    For whatever reason, of late, the percentage of people falling into this “atomic is a murderer, probably; at the very least she wants my sway to fail” category has gone from being a sort of amusing novelty I might encounter from time to time, to being a very large percentage of my pink swayers. I don’t know why, if it’s pandemic stress or a generational shift or some other thing entirely, but it’s really increased to epic proportions, despite our having outstanding results the past two years (shouldn’t good results require less convincing, rather than more?) And while I certainly don’t mind answering questions, even an endless thread of fairly neurotic questions, lately it's been kinda demoralizing to find myself in these neverending hedge mazes of control freakishness where you guys argue safety, then switch to having the best sway possible, to getting pregnant fast, to having the best sway possible, back to safety again, and then refusing to accept my guidance on anything at all, even simple facts about the human body, without a knock down, drag out fight:

    Control Freak Mama: But I KNOW I had an attempt right on ovulation, because I felt O pains! I’m having a boy I just know it!

    atomic: Well, timing doesn’t sway anyway, but the good news is that O pains don’t predict gender, and here is a 5000 word long dissertation on why that is.

    CFM: BUT O PAINS

    atomic: Even if O pains worked for predicting ovulation 75% of the time, which they absolutely do not, that still doesn’t mean that they’re helpful this time. And timing doesn’t sway anyway!

    CFM: I’m doomed!!! DOOOOOMMMMMEEDDD!!!!

    atomic:....

    CFM: Oh gosh well you’re not going to believe this atomic, but when I thought I was having O pains I was still a week out from ovulation.

    atomic: Oh good! That has to be a relief, I know you were upset about that.

    CFM: NO, I’m not relieved at all, because I still ended up with one attempt on O Day!

    atomic: Ok, how do you know this?

    CFM: O Pains.

    shrug.jpg

    I kid because I love you guys, and I am one of you, truly. Because I’ve been there, and somehow blundered my way into relative normality from whence I can look back at myself and my thought processes from a decade of distance, I understand how it feels to be plagued by ‘worst first’ thinking that traps us in logical loops where we are perpetually pinballing between extremes instead of seeking the middle ground where we can let our control freak tendencies go and move past them. Being control freaks, we are highly subject to the burning desire for certainty, so we end up clinging desperately to things that simply cannot be relied upon, like O Pains and tracking our cycles and dark vs. peak opk and assumptions about how many hours it takes sperm to capacitate and how long it can live. From that same desire for certainty, we are highly subject to believe in unproven, ill-defined concepts like “weak ovulation” and “estrogen dominance” and “adrenal exhaustion”. We are forever trying to force all our body’s quirks under these meaningless umbrellas to make sense of them. Because to a control freak, making sense of the unknown allows us to make a plan we believe in, and we love having plans to believe in. We love believing in our plans so much that it doesn’t bother us that much if our big sparkly pink dream castle of swaying is built on shifting sands and the tide is coming in. We just LIKE it when things make sense and we LOVE it when we have a plan, and to be honest we like those things more than we like reality, which tends to be rather messy.

    Thus we perpetually find ourselves trying to explain a very general, somewhat random, highly dynamic system (the human body) with a lot of exceptions and variations, and a real whole lot of unknowns, by analyzing it incessantly through a lens of fake certainty, to alleviate our worries about the world. But fake certainty just doesn’t WORK, because it is fake, and things that are fake cannot bring certainty. And when I point that out, that the system is random, dynamic, unknown, varies wildly, and has a lot of exceptions, some of you find that exceedingly irritating. I get it, I do, but I am here in the service of truth, and truth requires that I not play along when people build complicated houses of cards on foundations of pseudoscientific nonsense gleaned from the pages of Maxim Magazine or Acupuncture Today as a stress-relief mechanism.

    Stay tuned, part 2 coming next
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; May 9th, 2022 at 09:06 PM.
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  3. #2
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    I understand you want to both be perfectly safe and also to do everything in your power to sway. But sometimes these things that you want in equal proportions are mutually exclusive, and nothing I do or say can fix that. And more importantly, sometimes, in fact a LOT of times, things that we are told by others are necessary for health, for conception, and/or for swaying, are just straight up BS.

    There IS no option in which you can have everything just as you want it - optimal odds of conception, optimal odds of pink, while using everything that has ever been said to promote health and fertility (whether or not these products actually DO promote health and fertility is open for great debate) and everything that has ever been said to sway (ditto). If there was such a magic combo, I assure you, I would not have held it back from you. You would already know it. There is no mystical info that I will reveal only to those who know the secret handshake:

    Control Freak Mama: I’m coming up on my first attempt and wanted to know what more I can do?

    atomic: There’s nothing more. You’re already doing everything. I told you everything back at the start already.

    CFM: But there’s gotta be something I can add in at the last minute. Say, maybe I’ll starve myself on O Day.

    atomic: No, don’t do that, it will delay ovulation. We have not found anything we do at the last minute works, otherwise I’d have already told you to do it!

    CFM: Are you sure?

    atomic: Quite, and here is a very long explanation of why I am sure that I wrote while I burned my family’s breakfast this morning.

    CFM: But are you really sure though?

    atomic: As sure as I can be about anything in this business. Swaying can't ever be a guarantee, but yes, I’m sure as I can be.

    CFM: What do you mean no guarantees? You mean you’re not SURE? Like absolutely positively SURE you aren’t forgetting anything? I mean, wrack your brain, atomic, there’s gotta be SOMEthing you haven’t told me! Something you left out! Because you’re that kind of person, which is why you write such mindnumbingly long replies to everyone, because you’re always leaving things out. I am going to now spend the next several hours digging up old posts where you were advising someone in a totally different situation than me to prove that you’re forgetting something, you uncaring disinterested monster, since it is obvious that despite the fact you’ve spent all morning long answering my every concern in a thread that was already 67 pages long, you clearly have no interest in paying attention to my extremely unique situation.

    atomic: For all the reasons I already explained, nothing you do the day of your attempt makes any difference whatsoever, but being control freakish will seriously harm your sway.

    CFM: ARE YOU SURE?

    atomic:
    shrug.jpg

    I have worked really, really hard to balance health, safety, swaying, sanity, protecting fertility, protecting marital harmony, and having a reasonable time to conception. ALWAYS I am taking all those things into consideration. I do not want to hurt you, I certainly would never ever do anything that could hurt a child, and I absolutely do not want your sway to fail. I promise on my kids’ lives, and I don’t say that at all lightly, that I really do want the best for you guys, for your safety, your sway, for your marriage, and even your sanity. But sometimes this requires me to argue against things you believe strongly, that you desperately want to be true, and even that other people have told you ARE true. You want certainty from me, but I simply cannot give you a guarantee, and I have to be honest about that. This doesn’t make me the bad guy, it makes me the person doing a hard thing against overwhelming odds - explaining all these whys and wherefores, when it would be a lot easier for me to have just gone along to get along continuing to chuck cranberry at ya and tell everyone “sure swaying is 100%, Dr. Shettles was the smartest man who ever lived and he never made any mistakes, and if you screwed it up, not my problem, must have been something YOU did wrong.”

    I think many of you argue because you very badly want me to sign off on everything you personally want to do in your sway or for TTC - which means everything you’ve ever read about anywhere, regardless of how stupid the theory or how sketchy the source. When I don’t agree for some reason, usually for reasons of safety or because your plan will render you incapable of conceiving, it stresses you out. You wanted everyone to agree, darn it, because in agreement you could have certainty (even if it was fake certainty) and I’m raining on the pink sparkly parade by not agreeing enthusiastically. So you badger and pester and even at time attempt to bully me into agreeing with whatever you want to do because you want to feel perfectly confident that your sway will work and that you have done everything ever said to be healthy. But there are no guarantees, and no amount of bullying will change my mind (and in the attempt, many of you skirt perilously close to the type of extremely argumentative control freakishness that is strongly associated with having opposites, hurting your sway by far and away more than any of the stuff you're arguing with me over can possibly even help).

    Ladies, you can go through reams of old forum posts, try to find my old words out of context that I said to someone in a totally different situation than you to fling in my face, dig up studies or clickbait articles that claim to say this, that, or the other thing, and I’m still not going to change my mind unless I have a REASON to change my mind (and trust me, a study from 1989 done on 6 people or a product-placement article from WeSellHerbs.com ain’t it). At this point I have a lot of hardcore, real world evidence gleaned from things that I’ve read over the past 14 years, but more importantly from having tens of thousands of people come and go on this forum, on Ingender, and even in the real world when I can get off this computer for a few precious moments, that have led me to draw the conclusions that I have. And may I remind you all, these very same conclusions have led us to our best results ever the past two years, while maintaining a very reasonable time to conception, with a premium put on health, safety, and sanity. Guys, it's working! Why mess with success?

    Look, I know it’s a very sucky thing to first be told hey, it’s all about having sex on a magic day and then pesky old atomic comes along and says, nope, sorry, that’s not true. I know it’s sucky to be told that things are not as easy as a calcium pill and some cranberry juice. But this stuff just doesn’t work - that’s why we created this forum to begin with, is because so many of us got opposites doing those things. I’d be leading you down an evening primrose oil path if I said what you wanted to hear instead of what the truth is.

    When I was considering swaying, I wanted a daughter, full stop. I didn’t want a daughter my way, I didn’t want a daughter Tamara’s way, or Dr. Shettles’ way, or in Dr. Patchouli von Chasteberry’s way, I wanted a daughter in the way that worked. And for that, I needed the truth. That’s why I did all this in the first place. The truth, and that girl. And I will never turn away from that because I want the same for you. I may be wrong about some things (undoubtedly I am) but all I can ever do is give it to you as straight as I can, even when you would vastly prefer I zigzagged and sugar coated a little bit more than I do.

    Statement of fact: I am not trying to kill you, harm your unborn baby, ruin your sway, or destroy your fertility. I would simply never ever do that. I wouldn’t be a party to it. If you’re reluctant to trust the word of an online weirdo, while I understand completely, just think of it this way: if I was a liar or a scammer or just didn’t particularly care, I’d not waste the kind of time and effort I spend holding so many people’s hands, begging and cajoling you guys to eat something and not to kill yourself taking harmful supplements. If I didn’t care, like so many other people online, I’d just drop a diet for sale and start a Facebook group and leave it at that, buyer beware. Trust me, it would be a lot easier, and I’d probably make a lot more money with fake certainty than messy reality.

    I help everyone who shows up here whether or not they pay me, and most people don’t - that’s another thing a scammer wouldn’t bother with. I don’t get anything financially out of 95% of the people I help, so I have no motive for steering you in “my” direction because…why would I? There’s no profit in it for me, the stuff I say is because I believe it with every fiber of my being and because I don’t like to see other women in misery, wasting months and years of their limited fertile windows, slugging herbal tinctures that mess up their cycles and may cause miscarriage, starving themselves on ACTUALLY insane diets, NOT the LE Diet which again, is simply the lower limits of a normal diet for women in childbearing years, according to the World Health Organization, and a safe caloric intake for weight loss prior to conception according to reproductive endocrinologists. I’m here for one reason, and that is because I legitimately want to help people and I am fortunate to be in a position where I actually can. It’s very rewarding for me, I like the thought that maybe I made the world a little bit better in my own strange way, and if I could do it all for free I would, since I could have a day off once in a while if I did.

    My humble vow: When I start to see something in swaying that is not feeling right, giving me a weird vibe, I immediately drop it. I have done so on many occasions already, when things didn’t work or seemed to be causing more harm than good - herbs, aspirin/cranberry, abstain, the jellies, etc. It would have been easier for me if I kept those things instead of arguing people out of them, but I don’t, because I am NOT out to get you, I’m out to HELP you. I will continue to do that, but I honestly think we have it pretty dialed in now not only for swaying, but also for health, sanity, and fertility as well. We’re on the right track! Our results the past 3 years are by far the best they’ve ever been, with the healthiest diet anyone has ever used for swaying and with the same average time to conception as people who are not swaying. I expect more of the same in 2022 and beyond.

    Now, a special shout out to my swayers from Australia, New Zealand, and Germany. I know that in your countries, herbalists and naturopaths are treated as medical professionals and given a lot of respect. In some cases, for some conditions, this respect is deserved since they’re filling a niche that medical doctors are not filling and helping people who would otherwise be suffering - particularly people who have autoimmune diseases traditional doctors often miss, and elderly people who may have nutrient deficiencies that modern medicine does not take seriously. Occasionally, a younger person may end up with a nutrient deficiency, such as, to use an example that has happened repeatedly (despite my strenuous objections) if they insisted on starving themselves for over a year instead of actually following the LE Diet as it was written whilst doing a sway so strict they couldn’t conceive with it. But the fact that natural medicine people can help a subset of people doesn’t make them perpetually right in every arena all the time and it doesn’t mean that their opinion is worth more than mine.

    This is particularly true if you are paying them vast sums of money, and paying me absolutely nothing. Again, I have no motivation to lie to you about the negative effects of herbs and megadose nutrients, and they have a very great motive in exaggerating “deficiencies” that are not deficiencies at all, or even outright lying about the positives of various supplements. Others I believe are truly well-intentioned, but simply only know what they’ve been taught, and weren’t able to figure it out the way I did, since they were too busy running medical tests of dubious effectiveness and prescribing herbs to actually monitor results in the real world. I was, by grace of God, simply put in a position where I could observe the results of herbal supplements without prejudice, and others weren’t. Because I’m an outsider, I’ve been able to compare and contrast risks vs. benefits of the various herbs, OTC medication, and and megadose nutrients, without any preconceived notions beforehand.

    At one time, I thought the supplements were safe, and I thought they worked, because I had been told that experts said they were safe, and experts said they worked. I had no reason to doubt that, no axe to grind. I believed what I had been told on faith, just as many of you do now. The SOLE reason I have come to take such a dim view of the advice being given to my swayers by naturopaths and their ilk is because of what I’ve witnessed firsthand. Time and again we had people whose cycles were normal and fine, who started the supplements as advised on InGender (and formerly on here, till it became glaringly obvious what was happening - remember, guys, I once recommended them, I was never on a vendetta against supplements until I saw they were causing massive and undeniable side effects) who developed IMMEDIATE, severe issues that were clearly caused by the supplements. When we stopped the supplements, the issues went away within a few weeks. It was obvious the supplements caused a lot of trouble, and the fact that anyone can point to some study where “it was fine” or some herb book that says there are no risks to any of this doesn’t change the fact that it wasn’t fine and that there were risks.

    I have had SO MANY people come to me here on this site, from other sites or after being in the care of a naturopath, begging for help with super long and heavy periods, shortening LP, delayed or stopped ovulation, recurrent miscarriage (particularly chemicals or very early MC), or just being unable to conceive for no apparent reason. The first question I ask is what supplements they’re taking, and in the vast majority of the cases, I can solve any issues they’re having with their cycles and even help them conceive by simply giving up the supplements. In the vast majority of the rest of the cases, a few minor adjustments in diet do the rest. Diet and exercise. It’s boring, but these things get results.

    This can all be as simple as falling off a very large pile of cranberries if you guys could just meet me a fraction of the way instead of beating your collective heads against a pink sparkly brick wall doing the same things again and again, that a kajillion people have already tried and failed at (both in terms of conception and swaying), refusing to change anything based on my advice, out of some utterly misguided belief that I, of all the people out here in Internetsville, this person that 95% of you have given no money to, don’t have your best interests at heart.

    I am not shouting at clouds to hear myself because I love the sound of my own voice and I think I’m all that and a bag of low sodium potato chips, either. I would happily shut up and not spend six hours a day begging and pleading with you all to either not kill yourself or reassuring you that I’m not trying to kill you. When I write you some huge, massively long post to explain the complexities of all this jazz, it often takes me an hour or even more to write just ONE of them and some of you guys have threads going where I’ve done like 20 posts that long. I would NOT ever spend so much time on this for my own self-aggrandizement, because I am not completely insane, LOL, and I could get a lot more admiration telling you what you want to hear than what you don't. Trust me, there are 9 million other things I’d rather be doing than begging people to eat some freaking food. I do not mind answering questions at all, indeed, I am completely used to answering unlimited numbers of exceedingly repetitive questions, which I’ve done lo these many years, but I’m not doing it to hear myself talk that’s for sure. That’s what I have social media for

    Dealing with the most extreme control freakish swayers is like watching lemmings rushing off the edge of a cliff. It’s awful. I hate it for you and I hate it for me, having to watch it happen while my protestations go unheeded. I want to stop it, I try to stop it (even at great expense to myself in my personal life, TBH, spending time I should be cleaning toilets and entertaining my husband doing so) but it’s getting pretty daunting, the number of people who are coming at me like I am somehow the villain of the piece when all I’m doing is attempting to help you guys.

    One last time: I am not trying to kill you. I am not trying to wreck your sway. I want you to get pregnant as fast as possible and I want you to have your every dream come true. Your happy ending is my reward. I am not telling you things because I’m lazy, uncaring, uninformed, am overly conservative, am UNDERly conservative, haven’t done my homework, did too much homework, am not paying attention to your undoubtedly unique situation, have a raging case of narcissistic personality disorder, yadda yadda, whatever they're saying about me this week. If I tell you something, it’s because I truly believe that it’s for your benefit in some fashion and/or is reflective of biological reality. When I reply to you guys, I take ALL factors into account - your baby’s health, your health, sanity, fertility, your marriage, the way your body itself actually works, and your sway. Not one of them in isolation, all of them together.

    I don’t expect unquestioning trust, not at all, and I want you to continue hitting me with as many questions as ya got, because I always have reasons for everything I say and I like explaining things to people when I think it actually ends up helping them somehow. But if you guys can let go of the constant second, third, fifth, tenth, one-millionth guessing of every word I say, it will help keep me happier in my work and will also help your sway on track. Cause there’s no control freak like the control freak that thinks someone is out to get them.
    Last edited by atomic sagebrush; May 9th, 2022 at 08:45 PM.
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  5. #3
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    One more thing: I want to state, unequivocally, that this is NOT a request for you guys to "stop asking so many questions". That is historically the response I get when I try to raise this issue with the people who are in this boat - a handwave away of the greater issue, and then a mischaracterization "well atomic just doesn't want me asking questions". In many cases this is couched in some passive-agressive 'tude, as well - framing it as MY problem, laziness, impatience, etc when I am merely trying to call attention to something that is actively putting people's sways at risk.

    I answer swaying questions for hours a day, 360 days a year, and I have done so for over a decade now. I don't mind and in fact ENJOY answering questions, or I wouldn't do it. As I already mentioned, I could simply slap an e-book or diet up for sale, could have just posted my various essays without answering questions, or, I could do it Tamara-style and respond to everyone and clap back with a terse "this is in FAQ" reply. This is not, in any way, shape or form, about me "not wanting to answer questions". It is about people who are ruining their sways with control freakishness that they refuse to address and spinning up scenarios in which I'm somehow asleep at the wheel or even actively intending to harm, when I don't play along with the various tactics that they want to include in their sways.

    Keep those questions coming, guys. Because the alternative, where you sit and stew and wonder and worry about various questions you have, is not going to help you either. You'll simply be obsessing over and dwelling on things you very possibly have completely wrong instead of my replies.

    There is a vast gulf of difference between a normal and reasonable level of questions and arguing me to the mat as if I'm some sort of villainous jerk, in every arena all the time.
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  7. #4
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    This is great Atomic!
    I read so many of the posts and think wow you really take the time to answer everyone and in detail too even when it is the same question over and over. I have also thought over and over you have to be the most patient person to be doing this for so long with little compensation for your time and effort!

    I think what you have done is amazing. Your information and advice is always in our best intrest because you are invested and care about us and this page. I really hope you never get burnt out or feel un appreciated because you have helped so many people and their are so many more people you will benefit.

    I just want to say thank you so much and send you a big hug!!!
    2001 Girl ~ 2003 Boy ~ 2012 Girl ~ 2021 Sway Boy got Boy ~ wishing for a little Girl 2022/2023

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  9. #5
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Aww, thanks. I very much appreciate it!!

    I honestly was not fishing for compliments, whenever I keep encountering a certain issue again and again I always like to have an essay about it so I can refer people back to it, rather than writing up a big long explanation, so here we are.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

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    As far as I’m concerned, you’re a literal saint and a hero.
    We are all in such a great debt to you for your time, care, and expertise.
    I don’t know how you do it, but I’m so grateful that you do!
    Me: 36 / DH: 45 // m/c 2014 / non-sway boy 2015 / successful sway girl 2017 / non-sway boy 2020 / TTC pink one more time in 2022!

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  13. #7
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Aww, thank you so much!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

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