Girl Sway advice please

[Roobear]

Mum of 3 boys (7, 4 and 3) and we’ve decided to try for our 4th and last baby next spring (probably late feb, early March) so I’m trying to learn as much as I can about swaying for a girl now as I know I need at least 6 weeks, ideally 3 months, of prep before going for it and as it’s the last I want to give it the very best shot!

BACKGROUND/PREVIOUS CONCEPTIONS
Looking back I we definitely had an accidental blue sway with our 1st as we threw everything at just getting pregnant. We dtd every day/every other day, I took loads of prenatal vitamins, I led with my legs up, it was just following Christmas where I had been hugely indulgent with food (and I am a proper meat and potatoes gal anyway) and we used preseed lube. Number 2 took almost a year to conceive, likely because of a typical PCOS (I usually ovulate but my hormones are all over the place and I don’t always release the egg coupled with very painful ovulation). I was put on metformin around month 3 of trying but that sway probably the only sway factor when the time came as in the end we just aimed to conceive. Our 3rd was a complete surprise at 3 months pp.

I am probably naturally a boy sway - I’ve just been diagnosed with insulin resistance rather than full blown PCOS (and put back on metformin to help with this, not to help ttc); I am slightly overweight (BMI is now 28 but was around 24/25 when I conceived my boys), I love salty food (and I love my food), and I have quite a sedentary lifestyle where exercise is things like home renovation, mucking out my horse etc. so I know I need to make some big lifestyle changes to help my sway.

MY SWAY PLAN SO FAR:
My current plan is:
- Introduce a calorie restricted diet from next month to try and loose 8lb a month (2lb a week) between now and Christmas. This would bring me down to about 135-140lb and a BMI of 23)
- tell everyone I’m going on a detox/new diet in the new year to explain the shift to a LE diet. This would also allow me to indulge over Christmas a bit.
- from Jan 1st start LE diet with a view to loosing 8-12lb per month for 2-3 months prior to ttc (bringing BMI down to around 19
- from Jan 1st have a very low salt diet
- from Jan 1st introduce: calcium, magnesium, cranberry and aspirin supplements - IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD BE TAKING?

WHEN WE START TTC:
When we start trying my OB has said I can start clomid due to PCOS. Do I start this a month before we start trying or can we start trying straight away? Not been on clomid before but OB thinks because of my age (38) and my insulin resistance and my strange cycles it’s definitely worth trying. Am I right in thinking with the metformin this will help the sway? Does anyone have any stats on girl outcomes as I am slightly concerned about the increased risk of twins… that said, I’d rather twins and a girl then not so if it will help then I think it’s worth doing.

Use Rephresh/replens as a lube (hubby needs lube or else it hurts) and for DS1 and DS2 we used preconceive lube which with hindsight swayed blue so I want to avoid this! Or would we do better with a bit of baby or massage oil which we also use?

Do not orgasm. If possible have a hot bath with DH first.

My plan is to BD in missionary 4/5+ days before O then abstain in the run up to O? I know shettles can be hit/miss but I think we’ll struggle with O+12 so if we’re going to do timing a longer cut off seems like the way to go? But then if we can dtd the day following O then that would be a bonus? Or should we aim to dtd at O-7days, O-5days, O-3days and then the day following O?

CONTRACEPTION
Now, I have the option to go on the progesterone only pill/get a mirena IUD between now and ttc - would either of these help? I’ve been completely hormone contraceptive free for at least 4 months prior to conceiving each of my boys (in fact I haven’t used anything other than condoms since DS1!) and I’ve heard this can help??? If so, do we start clomid and go for it as soon as I stop/IUD is removed?

EXERCISE
Also, exercise? I’ve read mixed things? I won’t have the capacity to do 60min every day so is it better to do nothing or is it ok to walk most days? I was planning to start aiming for 10000 steps a day as part of my weight loss and then also do yoga or Pilates 3 times a week to help me tone up. Should I stop this from 1st Jan or is this something I should then continue with?

What else can I do to help my sway?

Thank you for any tips and help!

[atomic sagebrush]

I swayed for my 4th son and it didn't work. Then I did a lot of research, figured some stuff out, swayed for my daughter, my 5th child, and it did work. We have many members who had a girl after 3 boys! It is not in any way impossible.

You are going to have to stick with the proper BMI guidelines. At BMI 21, you should stop losing and try to hold steady. You should not go all the way down to BMI 19 before stopping the weight loss. We see disruptions in the menstrual cycle (not from PCO, but from being too low in weight) starting at BMI 21, and the more weight you've lost, the more susceptible to that you may be. Because you'll have lost a fair bit of weight, I would strongly suggest attempting to hold steady starting at BMI 21 and see how it goes. That way, if an additional bit of extra weight (keeping in mind that the thinner you are, the more each pound "counts" in terms of your overall percentage of weight) slips off before you stabilize, you're not in dire straits seeing your cycle go missing.

I do not recommend cranberry or aspirin and I 1000% do not recommend taking them together. They have not worked for us and they have caused major side effects for people - bleeding, bruising, extremely heavy periods, and also may cause or contribute to miscarriages - because they are blood thinners. (while a few people do need blood thinners if their blood clots too easily, these people are in the minority. Most women in childbearing age have very thin blood to start with - it's why we have less heart attacks and cardiovascular disease compared to men) When you take BOTH of them together, or take too high a dose, this issue can even become FATAL, causing bleeding in the stomach or brain, or causing major bleeding after an accident, surgery or even dental work (a friend of my dad's just bled to death after dental work due to his daily aspirin), or having a miscarriage. Luckily we have not had this happen to anyone, but we have had several women who experienced massive bleeding with a loss when they were taking aspirin or other blood thinning supplements/medications during pregancy and ended up hospitalized.

Calcium and magnesium I leave at your discretion, but be aware that fundamental human biology does not support minerals swaying in any way. The best study ever done on maternal preconception diet, and indeed the ONLY study ever done by someone who was not selling a gender swaying diet that involved minerals, found that women who got the most nutrients across the boards, including calcium and magnesium, had the most boys. Many of us on here, myself included, had opposites with the mineral stuff and got our girls without it. I got two boys taking cal-mag and gave it up and got my girl with both my hsuband and I eating the least amount of dairy in our lives. Your call to make, if you do decide to take them be sure not to take the Vit. D that is sometimes recommended with them.

You need to be taking folic acid or folate, 1200-1600 mcg a day once you're on the diet (or 3 months before you plan to try, whichever comes first) Continue this thru the whole first trimester of pregnancy then gradually wean back to the amount in a prenatal.

Many people take fiber supplements, just a reasonable low dose and not the huge ones that older people take. Use this only before any meal containing fat.

Since you have a history of PCOS I would suggest taking myoinositol. While normally I have people use either metformin OR myo, because you've had such a big disruption in your cycle before and because we want you to have excellent chances of a girl, I would add in the myo at 1000 mg from CD 1-ovulation and then 500 mg or 1000 every other day from ovulation till period arrives or positive pregnancy test. At positive pregnancy test, please wean off by spacing doses further and further out till down to one per week, then you can drop it.

Clomid in months you plan to attempt ONLY. Do not take Clomid unless you mean to try the month you have taken it. Studies have found Clomid sways 3-5% pink (different studies have found different %) and I prefer to use the studies' data instead of our observational data as it's more reliable, but in our results coupled with it picks up the full 5% if not a little more than that. If that seems like a small percentage to you, it isn't. It is an easy way to pick up a solid 3-5% for no more effort than it takes to swallow a few pills. If you have Clomid available to you, I would absolutely take it.

Rephresh is not a great lube. If you need a lube I would use Sylk (the kind you order online, not the KY kind) along with RepHresh. Replens is not a great lube and on paper is not as reliable as Sylk may be. All that having been said, NONE of the jellies worked for us and they all cut odds of conception by a lot. You can only use them the first month on the Clomid. I would personally skip them because they're $$$ and you'll only use them the first month anyway, and just use a storebought lube (for this purpose, the KY Sylk is fine, or Astroglide, etc). Avoid the lubes marked "sperm safe, conception friendly" as they may be more blue friendly.

Stopping intercourse 4-5 days before ovulation is a) very low chance of conception meaning you'd be wasting months on attempts that had no chance of conception and b) you cannot do it with Clomid anyway because it will change your ovulation day. It is impossible for you to predict 4-5 days before O because you'll likely O on a totally different day. Swaying in and of itself changes people's ovulation too. And most important, because you can only use Clomid for 6 months in a row (and many docs are only giving it for 3 months now) you need to be in with a good chance of conception in the months you use it. 4 days before O has 1 in 1000 chance of conception, 5 days before O has 1 in 10,000 chance of conception. I BEG you not to waste time on these extreme and impossible cutoffs, which do nothing and are completely debunked, when you have Clomid working for you already. Here is the case against timing: https://atomicsagebrush.com/2019/08/...e-with-timing/

O+12 is a steaming pile of BS. It doesn't work. Everything they say about it is false - you cannot tell ovulation to the DAY, let alone to the hour, and the mental gymnastics they use to try to determine O+12 is the exact type of control freakish mindset that sways hugely blue. It is my least favorite sway tactic by far and I urge all of you to leave that one sitting on the table. When done properly the odds of conception are all but zero, and most people who conceive with it didn't do it properly anyway. I saw women wasting years of fertility trying O+12 and the people who did get pregnant with O+12 allegedly were basically just guessing when they ovulated. Here's the full case against O+12: https://atomicsagebrush.com/2020/04/...le-method-o12/ and here: https://atomicsagebrush.com/2020/04/...t-is-terrible/

What you will need to do when TTC on Clomid is use either a fertility monitor or OPK to help you locate the fertile window. Then you'll need to have one attempt in the fertile window. You can do this at the first positive OPK (first "peak" or solid smiley on fertility monitor) and this works out to be 24-36 hours before O. If you need to have a longer cutoff then that, you'll have to use the type of OPK or fertility monitor that has both "high" and "peak" readings, and have attempt at the second "high". Do not use the apps that measure the darkness of the OPK and list one as "peak" - they are inaccurate and the "peak" I am talking about is NOT the darkest OPK, but the peak FERTILITY reading on a fertility monitor.

Note - this is the first month only. On Clomid, you'll have to start adding attempts quickly to boost odds of conception. I have tried and true ways to do this but since this is already long, I'm not going to post them for now. If you don't conceive the first month either post again here or message me at atomicsagebrush@gmail.com for further instructions.

We do believe that being on hormonal BC prior to TTC may sway somewhat pink. It may make it take longer for your cycle to return again. I'm not sure it's worth the effort for you since you are shaping up to have an otherwise great sway, with Clomid on board. I woudl absolutely not go to all the trouble of having a Mirena placed and then removed. Use the pill if you need to use something.

Exercise has been second only to Clomid as our most consistent sway tactic. While we originally thought couch potato would work as well as exercise, it's clear now that exercise is by far better. Anyone with any history of PCOS should do SOME exercise, even if it's not the full 60 6-7 amount. The benefits to blood sugar control are so great, that even moderate exercise is beneficial for you. ( be sure not to eat high protein and gain weight while doing that mod. exercise, though!)

You're welcome to do whatever exercise you want now, and then drop it 3 months before you plan to TTC. Expecially since you're losing weight at the same time.