3rd failed sway :/

[LindaLaetitia]

Here there is this site active anymore?
I am on my third failed sway. While i was not trying at my actual one, i get him on copper IUD. I mainly lived my natural pink lifestyle we only had 1 time BD the whole month, i am 38 and hubby 40.
I had close the door to another child after my 2nd failed sway because i barely can t stand another GD pregnancy and the bind to my sons is still not that good somedays. They are now 4 and nearly 3 years. I am so sad i had another son with no luck at all. Its my 5th child and it was too late for abortion in germany already when i find out i was actual pregnant. Everyone is so sad no one want another boy in my family as we are dominated with women. Everyone love little girls bit boys are not seen as a good part in life, no one ask about my sons and they are not invited to grandma, they only want my first 2 daughters. I dont know what to do at the moment i feel totally lost :/

Thank you for reading.

[treens]

I am so sorry you are going through the disappointment! My heart aches for you! I am not sure if it would be something that you would consider but there are so many families out there that are desperate for a baby, would you consider adoption? You could make another family compleet possible being such a selfless gift

[atomic sagebrush]

I am coming around from time to time to answer questions as I can (both in terms of time/energy, but also spiritually - this is all very discouraging). At the end of the day this is not my site and if it isn't being maintained it's hard for me to keep it all going. I am sorry it took awhile for me to get back to you.

Please understand that you are in the hardest part of having boys right now. Once you get a couple years further along, things become easier and you can enjoy them and find things you have in common. I just had a wonderful holiday with my four boys (aged 33 through 15). We watched movies, played games, talked, ate good food - it was just lovely. My adult and teen boys are so helpful and caring, and that is hard to see when you are in the mix with little boys (who admittedly can be a handful at times.)

I would be the very best mom you are able to be and enjoy your boys for who they are. As for other people's opinions, you can't control that. Just let it go and focus on your family. You have a lot of wonderful surprises waiting ahead as your sons grow and mature.

[LindaLaetitia]

Oh hey i didn t notice your Answer. Thanks for your words. A few weeks in 2nd trimester i felt ok with my situation. But for now i am 4 weeks far from my due date and i feel nothing than sadness about giving birth and absolutly had no Interest in anotjer newborn son. All postpartum time the first year was hard for me to accept it was not the same as with my daughters but going through this a third time seems to exhausting. Or maybe i have a depression? I dont know. I feel in the wrong story, a life i not wanted. I know that the baby did not earned these feelings. Most of this pregnancy i cried, i dod only tell 3 of my friends that we will have another one. My mom only asked if its a girl, after this there was no question anymore about this topic, only she told that we xould offer for adoption. The kids were very sad about though. Another topic is that he is too small and todsy he had less amniotic Fluid. I never had any problems in the other pregnancies. In one way i fear he is not ok for his sake but on the other i dont want anymore stress with it. I wish i could be happy with all and if you had asked me last year if we would have another baby - i would have said in a few years maybe and it would be ok if its a boy again. I didn t expect hat deep devasted feeling about an innocent baby and i feel sorry for it extremly. But i cant get out of it. I have no connection to him and i dont know if its too late when i am ready for establish one. Also i feel like i dont have enough time with my eldest in this episode. They growing up fast and will become teenagers when i have to run around another hitting toddler (my boys were never caring like my girls were in the first years) till now they like fightings and are not able to share any toys or games with each other. The complete opposite of my daughters. And i deeply fear more years like that with so much screaming, destroying, boxing, scratching, i cant go Meeting friends with them as their behaviour is often too bad with other children. I know another child is another Character. But the boys of our neighbors behave mostly the same direction. I am alone with them most of the time and i dint know how to prevent a baby from my sons. They will not be helpful while breastfeeding or changing diapers. Yes thats my situation, i hope spring will help me come out of that emotional hole.