Advice and Encouragement for those who are scared to try again...

[onthepond]

I am just about 2 weeks post D&C. Ultrasound today confirmed nothing remains in my uterus. Dr is very happy with results of the D&C and my body adjusting afterward. My hubby and I want to start TTC again after my 1st AF (no clue when that will come) but honestly part of me is absolutely terrified. We have a 17 month old DD, but this MMC has me just scared. I don't want to go through this again but yet want our kiddos only about 2.5 years apart and time is running out for that.

If anyone has any advice or encouragement, please share. I am sure I am not the only one feeling this way. Thanks!

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

You're right about not being the only one. I had a mmc back in Jan 2007. I was 12 weeks but the baby only made it to 7. I had a d&c also. I waited until my first af and got pregnant again. I had my 2nd healthy baby boy. I went on to conceive a few more times and thankfully never experienced another mc. It is very scary and I was extremely emotional. My first and second would have only been 2 years three months apart. Since I conceived right away they are only 2 yrs 8 months apart. I wish you all the best and hope you get a bfp soon!!!

[harleyquinn]

You have to REALLY want that baby.

Its like climbing Mt Everest...not everyone gets to the top because they get too cold, faint, or die (LOL sorry about that) BUT when you get there, the greatest prize awaits!!! CAn you imagine accomplishing that??

Thats how I see it...I want my prize. Totally worth any fear, trepidation, worries, stretchmarks, morning sickness, saggy boobs, bladder the size of a pea....I want the end result which keeps me going. I think *most* people can be successful after a loss. Sometimes you gotta jump through some hoops first.

However, I don't think climbing Mt Everest while pg is a good idea

I do understand. I think you get to a point where you know if you have the fortitude to keep climbing mt everest or head for base camp. You KNOW this when it hits. it becomes not a choice anymore.

Hopefully you will be just fine ((HUGS)). I guess I take each day pg as a positive thing and keep building from there.

[Rainbow baby]

I honestly wasn't ready so soon after my loss. I am only now getting my confidence back! I agree with HQ Determination has to be the key! I lost a little one at around 6-7 weeks naturally and was super fertile right after! If your dr says you can and you want to jump in now and you may be pg before that period comes !! I think getting there is the hard part once your there, no turning back, no regrets. Sorry you lost yuor little baby sweets it is hard but it does get easier as time goes on!

[tulip]

I recently had a loss at 20 weeks ...I feel very bad but I am not scared one bit
I have faith that everything will be smooth next time ....

[LacePrincess]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I don't have much advice, but definitely take the time to grieve and be ready in your heart first. I think it's best to not put pressure on yourself regarding the age difference. I understand that it's a nice spacing, but TTC is so stressful already that it's just too much pressure to add a time limit on top of that. You need to heal your heart and spirit first before you try again.

Spacing is really really not a big deal if you're worried about them getting along. Sure developmentally they might be very different at first when they're young, but they catch up to each other. My first two boys were only 21 months apart, and then I wasn't ready for a LONG time and my middle son and my youngest is almost 4 years apart. And honestly, despite the huge range in ages and stages, all 3 of them play together and often look like a pile of puppies. Heck, DH joins in and it's just a pile o' guys. The age gaps really didn't make any difference at all.