How do you be happy for pregnant people?

[EmmyRoo]

I'm having a bad week. Yesterday I had a text from a colleague who had a mmc in august, saying she's pregnant. Obviously this is lovely news and I expected it to happen soon. Then, in the evening I got another text from my boss saying SHE'S pregnant! She has an 8 year old so I never expected her to have another, it was such a shock. While I'm happy for her too I just couldn't help crying my eyes out all evening.

I feel like I'm being made to suffer for my GD, it's been nothing but worry, disappointment and heartbreak since I started swaying in august. Months of starvation on LE, miscarriage, 3 weeks waiting to lose the baby before ERPC (incidentally a month ago yesterday, didn't help make the news easier), a bad chest infection, cold, waiting on the boys getting the sick bug that's doing the rounds, my friend is due in 2 weeks, my sister's pregnant, another friend is due the day I was, and now 2 girls I work with are pregnant. I'm not religious but if I was I'd say someone up there hates me.

I know I'm being horribly self-pitying and I just need to keep getting hack up but I'm so tired of being knocked back down. I'm in the 2ww now so who knows, if I do get a bfp it'll be a worrying pregnancy after last time, and more than likely another boy after the lack of weightloss and only being on the diet a couple of weeks.

Sorry for whinging, I need a bottle of wine and 1lb of chocolate but as I'm on LE, a cyber hug would do.
Thanks for reading. X

[Wanting-a-girl]

Don't be so hard on your self you have been through a lot I think that your feelings are normal as agonizing as they are... I think I would be the same in that situation cause it's sad

I hope you get a Bfp this month my fingers a very tightly crossed for you

[Sihaya]

It took being 14 weeks pregnant for me to be even a tiny bit happy for other people after my miscarriages.

I miscarried at the same time as two other friends, who both went on to get pregnant while I had another miscarriage before I got pregnant with a sticky baby (who was a boy while they both had girls). That was 3 years ago and they are both due again in about 2 months while I am still waiting to be able to TTC. If you can't tell, there's still a little bitterness and jealousy there, even though I love them dearly and am genuinely happy for both of them.

All that to say, there is no right or wrong way to feel after a miscarriage or when dealing with GD. We all deal with it differently and you are not required to feel happy for anyone else right now. Big hugs, and maybe find some milk chocolate to treat yourself with.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh Emmy, I'm so sorry. I know it's no consolation but I found some peace in the general feeling that I didn't want any of their babies, I wanted MY baby so I was able to feel happiness for others - it was like their pg had nothing to do with me really. Huge (((hugs))) I agree there is no right or wrong way to feel at all and I do think yo should have as much choc as you would like!

[EmmyRoo]

That's a dangerous thing to say atomic, I could probably eat about 2lb of the stuff! Lol!

Thanks for your replies, I'm feeling better today having been at work and faced one of the girls. We basically chatted all morning about everything and I left the office feeling more positive. I think accepting that there will be days that are hard to take and just focussing on getting through them helps. Maybe it was easier cos she had a mmc too so she knows exactly how I feel.

We're all meant to be meeting up on Friday night but I'm not sure I want to go now, both cos I don't want them feeling they can't talk about their pregnancies and because I'm not sure how well I can handle a wine soaked evening with two pregnant girls. I'll have to See how I feel on fri I think. Oh it's a hard road.

X

[BabyGirl4Me]

Aww Emmy, my heart breaks for you. What a set of rotten luck events.

I know that your BFP is coming and when it does and your baby is here you'll be happy again because you'll have your rainbow baby. Sometimes I think life throws us curveballs and steps back to make us appreciate the steps forward and enjoy the victories even more. Good luck!

[EmmyRoo]

Thanks babygirl4me, I'm hoping this is some kind of test, after two easy pregnancies and births, to make me really appreciate my girl when I get her. I just have a fear I'll not get a DD and am just destined to be a boy mummy. When do you test? I think I will next tues, I hope you get your bfp. And I love your idea of donating your hair if you get your girl, I thought I might do a sponsored run if I get mine, and donate the cash to genderdreaming to help other people get their DG. A long way to go first though!
X

[The Anchor]

Oh Emmy, I'm so so sorry. Your time will come...one HUGE cyber hug for you

[BabyGirl4Me]

Emmy I bought a cheap test at the dollar store this afternoon so I am going to wait until Friday or Saturday morning to test. I had a +OPK the morning of March 8th and I only tested in the mornings so my guess is I actually Oed on Saturday the 9th. I am 90% sure I had implantation bleeding on Sunday so I will honestly be more surprised if this test comes back negative, which is why I'm not a POAS addict right now, lol.

I think it is a brilliant idea to run to raise money to help others get their DG. That would be a great way to give back to all the wonderful people here helping others.

I have a feeling that our sad GD days are going to be behind us very soon! You just hang in there little lady. I hope you get your BFP in a few days. I'll be praying for you too.

[onthepond]

Emmy, I totally know the feeling and honestly...some days are just worse than others I think. I love Atomic's point, though, that we want OUR babies. I am going to try to remember that and maybe it will help me through the tough days. I hope that you start having more good days!

I am now in the 2WW after my D&C and am just praying to see a BFP although VERY confusing month. Keep us all posted on how you are doing - praying you get your pink sticky bean! HUGS.