Yes I've been there too unfortunately Anyone who has experienced a loss feels very much the same I think... Gender desire pales in comparison to wanting a healthy baby in my opinion!

I lost my first son at 32 weeks, and it's a loss I have never gotten over really. Then last year I lost my one and only DD at 14 weeks. I am finally pg again now after TTC for 9 months and I can honestly say I don't really care what this one is now... I mean I DO CARE, but I just want a healthy baby above all. It's like that old saying "You don't know what you've got till it's gone..." I will be a little upset if this one is a boy only because it is probably our last, and I will have to give up the dream of having a daughter. But I would NEVER say I am disappointed at having another son. It's more about the loss of NOT having a daughter, not disappoinment at having another son, know what I mean?

I am so sorry for your loss ... I promise you it does get easier with time, and it just makes the next baby even more cherished and loved. Good luck to you