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June 5th, 2013, 09:25 PM #1Big Dreamer
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Sometimes I feel like he is still here.
It's so strange, and I'm hoping I'm not the only one that feels this way. But sometimes, like for example when I'm getting my son out of the car and then we start to walk away, I often have a little moment where I think I've forgotten something. Like I forgot the baby. But there is no baby. Is there anyone else that knows what I mean? I feel so weird.
[2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
[21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.
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June 5th, 2013, 09:38 PM #2
Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the heartache you must feel after losing a baby like that.
My mom had 6 kids and considered herself done having kids. For years I had a nagging feeling that someone was missing. I remember it most when we were all piling in the van one day and it seemed distinctly like someone was missing. Sure enough she had my little sister 8 years after she thought she was DONE!
So I will pray that the feeling of "someone is missing" will gravitate from the one you lost to the one that is on the way!!
Big hugs mama
My Gender Dreaming
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June 5th, 2013, 10:56 PM #3Big Dreamer
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Thank you. It's good to know at least that I'm not the only one who has ever had that strange feeling. This is really the only reason I'm ok with swaying instead of saving up for HT. I really just want a baby, regardless of gender.
[2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
[21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.
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June 6th, 2013, 12:11 AM #4
Owe babe. I think it is totally normal. I have those moments as well. I wonder if I had another child would my mind settle or would I still feel if something is missing.... I mean I know something is missing and never a replacement that's not what I meant but having a constant thought about the baby in the car..........arg hard to explain. All I can say is your not alone with that thought <3
Hoping for a pink rainbow!
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June 6th, 2013, 12:44 AM #5Big Dreamer
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I think I know what you're saying. I wonder that too. Like I know I will always have this emptiness in my life where he is supposed to be, and having another baby will probably not fix that, but maybe help heal me somewhat.
[2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
[21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.
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June 7th, 2013, 10:05 AM #6
<3 yeah that!
Hoping for a pink rainbow!
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June 7th, 2013, 12:09 PM #7
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find peace.
I had purchased bunk beds for DD and DS when I was about 10 weeks along. The idea of m/c had never occurred to me for that pregnancy ever, which is funny, because my first 2 I was nervous wreck from BFP on. Anyway, we never did put the beds together, they're sitting in boxes in the garage. And every time I take the garbage out it's like a jolt.
I've been trying in desperation to get pg again to no avail. I think I am in the same spot as you...I must have another baby, just to fill the void.
Virtual HUGS to you...Sept 2008 & successful boy sway June 2010.
M/C Oct 2012
Is DE in my future?
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June 8th, 2013, 03:59 PM #8Big Dreamer
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Thanks Anchor. I'm sorry for you as well. I see you're going HT, I hope it goes well for you and you get your rainbow baby.
[2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
[21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.
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June 9th, 2013, 03:22 PM #9
Aw honey... Sending hugs. Xx
I feel like this when people ask me how many boys I've got, I often go to say four!2006 2008 2010 : 2013
2 angels
Due Jan 2020
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June 9th, 2013, 03:48 PM #10Moderator
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Just Hugs to you ladies xx Your little ones were and will always be part of you, xxx
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