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  1. #11
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    I cannot imagine what would possess a person to post spam in a person's loss-related forum thread.

    And, I am extremely good at spotting spam at this point, even when you try to make it look like something else, even when you post 17 benign general messages under 10 different names. Your username(s) go(es) onto my special list and I watch your username like a hawk and delete ur account at the first hard evidence that you're a spammer, even if you are very sneaky and sly about it at first.
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  2. #12
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    I cannot imagine what would possess a person to post spam in a person's loss-related forum thread.

    And, I am extremely good at spotting spam at this point, even when you try to make it look like something else, even when you post 17 benign general messages under 10 different names. Your username(s) go(es) onto my special list and I watch your username like a hawk and delete ur account at the first hard evidence that you're a spammer, even if you are very sneaky and sly about it at first.
    This, yet again. Spam will be deleted, your account banned. Don't bother us any more.
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  3. #13
    Big Dreamer

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    update: Just to let you know what happened - this feeling stayed with me until he was born. I couldnt even tell anyone I was pregnant. I was so scared to loose him I couldnt bear to tell anyone I was pregnant incase I had to say I had lost another. In the end we told everyone around 30 weeks & then I had him just 4 weeks later!!! I wasnt really showing so everyone was quite shocked.
    Once he was born everything I had felt just disappeared & I felt so happy with him in my arms. The gender disappointment that I felt had gone by that stage thankfully I was so grateful for a live baby.

    4years later & still trying for a baby that empty numb feeling is still with me. Ive just had & lost another pregnancy - again too scared to tell anyone i was pregnant & so I didnt. I had the pregnancy & miscarriage with no support. Weeks later I found the courage to start telling people I had lost another baby. It felt ok this way. It still feels unreal like did it even happen. I'm so devoid of any emotion or feeling. I think I have grieved so much trying for so long I dont have much emotion left.
    mummy to 10yrs & 8yrs. 7weeks dec 2016 4yrs.
    After 2 failed sways we are going high tech

    May 2019 IVF1 4 follicle, 4 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 5
    JUly 2019 IVF2 8 follicles, 3 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 6 frozen & waiting for us
    our precious was a failed FET .
    IVF3 1 day 5
    2020 COVID halts our plans & we cant travel
    2021 6 more egg collections yeild 17eggs in total. Frozen gametes shipped to clinic & 16 survive the thaw & only 3 fertilised. None to test on day 5

    Jan 2022 this wasnt the plan.......
    Feb 2022 stopped growing & left me at 8weeks

  4. #14
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    kc, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I answered in more detail in your other thread.

    What you're experiencing in terms of feeling very disconnected is something that many people who have been through losses and failed rounds of IVF experience. It's as if a callus has built up over our emotions to protect us from future harm.

    Please let me know how I can help.
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  5. #15
    Big Dreamer

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    Yes. Disconnected is a very good description. I think its self protection at its best! Not deliberate at all but certainly a response to the trauma in the past few years.
    mummy to 10yrs & 8yrs. 7weeks dec 2016 4yrs.
    After 2 failed sways we are going high tech

    May 2019 IVF1 4 follicle, 4 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 5
    JUly 2019 IVF2 8 follicles, 3 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 6 frozen & waiting for us
    our precious was a failed FET .
    IVF3 1 day 5
    2020 COVID halts our plans & we cant travel
    2021 6 more egg collections yeild 17eggs in total. Frozen gametes shipped to clinic & 16 survive the thaw & only 3 fertilised. None to test on day 5

    Jan 2022 this wasnt the plan.......
    Feb 2022 stopped growing & left me at 8weeks

  6. #16
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    It may be that's just what it needs to be for you to get through this. Please let me know how I can help.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

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