Looking for ttc advice after MC and chemical

[Meg1612]

Hi everyone, we started swaying back in April and got our bfp at the end of June! I had done about 11 weeks on the LE diet fast forward to the beginning of august and we had a scan showing that the baby was measuring really small, by 7+5 i started bleeding and I knew it was all over, this was the 11th/12th august we decided to try right away and got pregnant about two weeks later, I did a few tests and the lines did get darker but not massively - I knew there should have been a bit more progression and then 2 days after i expected my post Mc AF it came, I have still been getting positive tests through the bleeding but today it was so faint that it was possibly and evap so hopefully it will be negative by tomorrow (sounds strange to say)

I was wondering what the best thing is to do now? We could attempt again in two weeks or wait until October I know with the chemical allthough emotionally it can be hard it doesn't really have any kind of negative effect on your body and if I hadn't tested I would never of even known so part of me is thinking just to go for it again? But because I do know what's happened I don't know if I'm setting myself up for another problem if I don't leave any time in between! I was wondering if anyone has been in a situation like this?x

[ksmom]

Personally I wouldn't skip months TTC. While swaying I had three early losses and it didn't seem to matter if I got pregnant right away or not. Sometimes miscarriages are just awful luck, even with two or more in a row. They're actually quite common and with chemical pregnancies most women don't even realize they had an early miscarriage. My RE told me she's had perfectly healthy patients have 6 or more losses for no reason other than bad luck then end up with a healthy baby. So what I'm saying is, go ahead and ttc. With swaying it's usually best to not go on and on doing it for a long time, plus miscarriages can sway pink. Good luck!

[Meg1612]

Thankyou for replying ksmom, I guess you never know if it's your bodies way of telling you to chill out a bit or it just extremely bad luck! I had two back to back early losses before my boys without a period in between but that was a 12 week and 7 week loss so that wasn't quite like this! If I do just try again I won't of had a proper AF since June because I don't know if you can count a chemical AF as a proper one or not? Thanks so much for your advice it's really appreciated, and sorry about your losses also x

[Meg1612]

Do you mind me asking how long were between each of yours and then your third little boy? X

[atomic sagebrush]

Personally I wouldn't skip months TTC. While swaying I had three early losses and it didn't seem to matter if I got pregnant right away or not. Sometimes miscarriages are just awful luck, even with two or more in a row. They're actually quite common and with chemical pregnancies most women don't even realize they had an early miscarriage. My RE told me she's had perfectly healthy patients have 6 or more losses for no reason other than bad luck then end up with a healthy baby. So what I'm saying is, go ahead and ttc. With swaying it's usually best to not go on and on doing it for a long time, plus miscarriages can sway pink. Good luck!

I have also seen people who due to overzealous medical professionals, would wait an insane amount of time (3-6-12 months) between conceptions...only to have another loss.

I have done quite a bit of reading and research into how the "waiting X number of cycles" recommendation came to be and there is barely any evidence really in support of it. The evidence that there is, doesn't add up since many women with recurrent losses have an underlying problem that is causing those losses and that skews the statistics - of course those women have more losses due to their underlying problem not how long they waited between conceptions.

Most of it was based on Freudian psychology stuff where doctors surmised that women who wanted to get pregnant after a loss were hysterics trying to replace their baby and they were mentally unbalanced and so had to wait a certain amount of time. (in other words, sheer, totally unproven nonsense) This "bitchez be crazy" mentality sadly is still hanging round even in a lot of modern doctors and they continue on with old recommendations without ever really stopping to question if they're necessary or wise.

[ksmom]

Do you mind me asking how long were between each of yours and then your third little boy? X

The first pregnancy we lost was conceived first try, then we conceived again just 3 or 4 weeks later only to lose that pregnancy. Two months later we conceived again only to lose that one as well. I got pregnant with DS3 about 8 weeks after my third loss.

[Meg1612]

Thankyou for replying to me ksmom, your right it doesn't really seem to have any pattern when it comes to waiting and losses, thankyou for sharing your personal experiences with me, I'm so sorry you had to go through it all but you give me hope that everything will work out in the end! Take care x