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  1. #1
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    I need some advice

    I have been trying to conceive since a miscarriage last September to no avail. I never thought it would take this long and outside input might be helpful.
    I guess I should lay out my entire story.
    I’m 41 nearly 42. Hubby is 40 nearly 41.
    When I was 8 months pregnant with my first in 2012 (a girl) my husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer. He had one testicle removed and based on some irregularities they wanted to remove his second one but that surgery was thankfully called off and we had a son in 2014. First and second are 17 months apart. We had to rush things as it looked like IVF would be our only future option.
    We decided to start trying for a third when our son turned 1. I conceived the second month we tried but this ended in the dreaded phrase “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat” at 9 weeks. They were momo twins and that at least I can say is “why”. Had a D&C.
    Shortly after that before we could even try again we discovered the cancer was back and this time hubby needed chemo. 4 rounds of chemo later and hubby is under surveillance but all signs of cancer are gone as is his fertility!
    We decide on IVF as we have sperm stored from his first diagnosis. First IVF cycle was a complete bust. I didn’t respond well to the meds and we got no mature eggs. Second round we got two blasts transferred, one took but I head that phrase again at 8 weeks! Miscarried this one naturally.
    Moving on we decided to try one last time and just call it quits if it didn’t work. Hubby had a sperm test to see how things were recovering and he had the grand total of 900,000 per m/l (yes less than one million) which is better than nothing but we were told there was no way we could or would ever conceive on our own. We knew this though and were already booked in for IVF as soon as my period started. Anyway surprise, period never arrived and we welcomed our second little girl in 2017. Truly our little miracle.
    In July 2018 I discovered I was pregnant again - hubby is clearly recovering nicely thing is we weren’t actively trying. Of course I knew what stage of my cycle we were at when we BD but I never expected it to happen - but at 12 weeks there I was again listening to a complete stranger shatter my world. Another D&C.
    It made us really want another baby and since then nothing! Hubby got tested again and he’s up to 10 million per m/l.
    I got my hormones checked last month and all seems fine.
    Hubby is taking fertilisan m when he remembers. I can’t understand what is so hard with taking a few tablets everyday.
    I’m taking coq10, elevit and extra folic acid.
    I’ve been tracking my ovulation and we BD 2-3 times after positive OPK and we’ve been trying to BD regularly throughout my cycle every 3-4 days. Sometimes more often sometimes less.
    I’m now just at a bit of a loss. We know we can get pregnant as I’ve conceived twice since the chemo ended.
    Any advice would be very much appreciated.


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  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Oh gosh what a roller coaster ride!

    Are you still booked for IVF?? That is what I'd recommend. It's going to be your best chance.

    If you try naturally I'd just keep doing what you've been doing, be sure that hubby isn't wearing tight underwear or taking hot baths. Jogging or biking if he does those things needs to be stopped for now.

    ARe you on a lower carb diet?? I would recommend that for your fertility, like South Beach or Perfect Health Diet (not the SUPER low carbs diet, just a lower carb with healthier carbs)

    Let me know how I can help!
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  3. #3
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    Thanks for your reply. No we’re not going to do IVF again. We don’t really have the money and I also don’t think I could go through all the tests, drugs, scans etc again not to mention the cost only to pay more money and take more drugs etc if we lost it.
    We have been truly blessed with 3 and I know some people have not been as lucky as us.

    I didn’t realise low carb was good for fertility. I’ll look into it. I know I’m basically ancient in the baby making field but we’ve just never had an issue getting pregnant until now.

    I guess just anything else you’d do in my shoes would be good to hear.


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  5. #4
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    Yes it can be beneficial for egg quality to focus on healthy carbs and cut back overall (without going to VERY low carb or keto which can be bad itself)

    Are you guys having regular unprotected sex?? If so, do. Sex may help boost fertility.

    I would also have full fat dairy only for both you and DH. NO SKIM DAIRY it is the devil for fertility.
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  6. #5
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    Thanks atomic, yes we are having regular unprotected sex.
    Damn I’m a skim latte woman although would only have one a day and usually not even that but I’ll go full fat from now on.
    I know realistically it’s a combination of our age and his low count but (big sigh) I just wish it’d work!!


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  7. #6
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    Me too - and I hope it happens very soon!!
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