What's your guess??

[atomic sagebrush]

I will tell you guys this - there were many of the old IG ladies who were getting pregnant at the same time I was, and several of them decided to go on with their lives with their boys rather than keep trying. And they look like they're having a great time! Their boys are getting into their preteens now and they have all this freedom and they're posting pictures of margaritas on beaches and doing all this stuff and I'm up to my ears in laundry and I just want to cry LOL. I have a girl, but I don't have the time I need to truly enjoy her.

I know it's hard to believe when you're in it but it does get way easier once the door is closed. You will remember all these other things you want to do (even things for yourself! gasp!) and your life gets full of other things. As someone who has actually raised boys to adulthood (with no girl and no hope of a girl at that time) you connect with boys a lot more as they get older. You will find all these things in common that are harder to see when they're all about dump trucks and stuff, but it will happen, and while you will still wonder about what might have been, your life is going to be so rich and full with your sons that it will be totally amazing.

[Lulila]

NIPT confirmed it's another boy.

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[Lulila]

I will tell you guys this - there were many of the old IG ladies who were getting pregnant at the same time I was, and several of them decided to go on with their lives with their boys rather than keep trying. And they look like they're having a great time! Their boys are getting into their preteens now and they have all this freedom and they're posting pictures of margaritas on beaches and doing all this stuff and I'm up to my ears in laundry and I just want to cry LOL. I have a girl, but I don't have the time I need to truly enjoy her.

I know it's hard to believe when you're in it but it does get way easier once the door is closed. You will remember all these other things you want to do (even things for yourself! gasp!) and your life gets full of other things. As someone who has actually raised boys to adulthood (with no girl and no hope of a girl at that time) you connect with boys a lot more as they get older. You will find all these things in common that are harder to see when they're all about dump trucks and stuff, but it will happen, and while you will still wonder about what might have been, your life is going to be so rich and full with your sons that it will be totally amazing.

Atomic thank you for your support. You always find the right words. I hope that it's like you say,
I think of all those couples that would love to have even just 1... On the other hand, I think I'm fine with my 2 boys, and maybe we should stay like that. I just got a job promotion and saying that I'm pregnant isn't going to be easy. I don't want to say it to anyone, in a way I just want to wake up and go back 3 months. I'm not ready for all those "oooooh... another boy" "let's hope it's a girl!!!" Apart from the craziness of having 3 children under 4 in my 30s. Here in Spain is very unusual, only very religious families have more than 3.
I'm going to try to enjoy my birthday and forget about it a bit. Today I've been better than the rest of the week, but I have to confess I'm having very bad thoughts about this pregnancy and I feel awful about it.

I might go around the GD forum to let it all out.
Xxxx

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[atomic sagebrush]

Hugest congrats on your new baby boy!

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic thank you for your support. You always find the right words. I hope that it's like you say,
I think of all those couples that would love to have even just 1... On the other hand, I think I'm fine with my 2 boys, and maybe we should stay like that. I just got a job promotion and saying that I'm pregnant isn't going to be easy. I don't want to say it to anyone, in a way I just want to wake up and go back 3 months. I'm not ready for all those "oooooh... another boy" "let's hope it's a girl!!!" Apart from the craziness of having 3 children under 4 in my 30s. Here in Spain is very unusual, only very religious families have more than 3.
I'm going to try to enjoy my birthday and forget about it a bit. Today I've been better than the rest of the week, but I have to confess I'm having very bad thoughts about this pregnancy and I feel awful about it.

I might go around the GD forum to let it all out.
Xxxx

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How long can you wait before telling people?

I waited quite a while and it really helped.

When I found out my 3rd boy was on board, I had a lot of very dark thoughts too where I told myself things like "well at least I don't have to worry about anything going wrong, because I won't care if something happened", and that kind of thing.

Just be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. I have seen so many times where people had these dark thoughts, and then were so worried when there was a health issue and regretted it 10000000 times over...so these are not our real thoughts, it is just the GD messing with our heads. We were never designed to know the baby's gender when pregnant and loving a hypothetical baby is much harder than the real one. By the time the baby comes I suspect you're going to be in a much better place.

Thinking of you.

[StarryRiver]

Hey, I’m sorry that it wasn’t good news. I made a point of telling people (especially my mum!) before I got pregnant that if I had another it would just as likely be another boy so to politely not go on about it. Because my mum was the worse in wanting a girl but now she says things like “oh well if it’s a boy it doesn’t matter, we’ll still love him”. And that takes a lot of pressure off.

I’m trying to imagine raising a new person, a unique human being with their own unique personality rather than a “boy”. I have to admit I’m dreading going through the same phases again - mainly the obsession with all things wheels they get when a toddler! But I can see with my two now that there older that they have very difficult interests - my younger one even loves playing with my little ponies as well as power rangers! And my older one loves Harry Potter which is something I used to love as a kid too. Gender is just one aspect of a personality at the end of the day, and even if your son happens to be typically boyish that still encompasses a wide range of interests and activities that he may love - is he going to love nature and exploring? Be creative and enjoy making things? Love baking cakes with his mum? There’s plenty of things you can do with a boy that don’t involve cars and football. Sorry if this doesn’t help at all, it’s mainly some things I have been thinking through myself to try and help ease the GD.

Take care






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[Bobster]

My midwife today told me she also has 2 boys and then a girl, however her girl has decided she doesn’t associate as a girl and wants to be male. I’m guessing they’ve gone or are going through the gender reassignment process, or they could be non binary, didn’t want to pry. It just got me thinking about these images we make in our minds about what it would be like to have a daughter and how misleading they might be. We imagine this fantasy girl but actually it can and probably often does go so differently

[atomic sagebrush]

My midwife today told me she also has 2 boys and then a girl, however her girl has decided she doesn’t associate as a girl and wants to be male. I’m guessing they’ve gone or are going through the gender reassignment process, or they could be non binary, didn’t want to pry. It just got me thinking about these images we make in our minds about what it would be like to have a daughter and how misleading they might be. We imagine this fantasy girl but actually it can and probably often does go so differently

I know of a couple other families who have had this situation or something fairly close to it - the much longed for child of a certain gender had their own ideas of how they would present themselves to the world. My mother in law (who has a boy and a girl) kept trying to tell me "but it won't be like what you thought it would be" based on her experience raising her own daughter, who had her own ideas of the type of girl/woman she wanted to be.

That having been said, I think it's a bit of a misconception that we all want girls or boys because we want some sort of Barbie/Ken doll that we can dress up and have them act like a stereotype. That was never the case for me and I think for a lot of us, it's more about sharing that experience with a child of a certain gender, even if they don't fit a very narrow cultural role, than it is about having a princess or a jock.