Is it better to stay team yellow after swaying?

[SleepyMommaBear]

I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with my autonomy scan later this week.

I attempted a pink sway (however fearful I wasn't on the diet long enough, only 6 weeks!) and were ever so lucky in that we conceived on our first cycle with one attempt. Makes me feel that this baby was absolutely meant to be after trying for much longer with our first.

Although I feel I can't admit this to anyone, I feel this is a good place for advice... I'm concerned at finding out the baby's gender at the scan as I'm scared of hearing it's a boy. I truly wish I didn't feel this way, and really disappointed in myself that I do, after all I should just be in awe of being blessed with a healthy baby.

I've always dreamed of having girls after growing up as the only girl surrounded by a family of boys! I was quite content with my sway attempt and the possibility of the baby being a little girl, however I got curious and submitted one of my 12 week scan photo's to The Nub Tech's online and their response came back boy.
Even though when I've posted the same scan on here and another forum and had mixed, but mainly pink responses, I've kind of taken the Nub Tech's response as gospel and I feel as though I'm now going through a bit of gender disappointment.

I'm not sure if finding out the gender at scan or birth is the better idea now and would love any advice anyone can offer.

[SleepyMommaBear]

Here's a link to my nub post from a few weeks ago ->https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ml#post1039616

[atomic sagebrush]

I personally always recommend finding out at the scan. While it's hard at first, at least it's hard when you aren't recovering from a birth and having to care for a needy little person who needs you to be at 100% (not to mention dealing with visitors, your other kiddos, your husband, post-partum hormones etc.). Plus, it was very very helpful to me with my GD babies to get to pick out a name I liked, some new little blue outfits, and stuff. I really felt quite a lot better by the time my baby came. I would have been DEVASTATED with DS 3 because I was convinced I was having a girl, and I'm so thankful I found out with him.

Did I guess on your pics?? I'll look it up.

[atomic sagebrush]

Here's a link to my nub post from a few weeks ago ->https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ml#post1039616

Oh yes I remember those - the nub experts guessed on those??? WOW there is barely anything there to guess on!!

How many days into the 12th week were you?

[4blue2pink]

i found out gender at 20w scan with my first 5 kids, then i went team green with my 6th (1st sway baby) but caved and found out at 37w growth scan and regreted finding out, with my last 2 babies (2nd and 3rd sways) i've been team green and not had a clue about gender till birth.

my last 3 babys were all pink sways, 1st one worked and i found out she was a girl at 37w scan, last 2 failed and i found out they were both boys at birth.
for me not knowing the gender is better, finding out at 20w destroyed so many of my pregnancies and i decided enough was enough, i was going to enjoy the pregnancy not even thinking about gender.
Finding out boy on the day has been much more positive than hearing it at 20w scan, i find it impossible to bond with a baby before its born and coped better having it there in front of me.

Some people do it and allow themselves to think that the baby is 100% what they want it to be, after 9 months of this it then causes devastation when baby is born not being what they had hoped. If you dont find out, dont allow yourself to dwell on the dream of baby being a girl.. the fact is you dont know the gender and just as you can be told what you dont want to hear at the scan the same can still happen on the day and then you will have to cope with it while looking after a newborn. I know Atomic advises against team green for anyone with GD and there have been some really awful experiences with it.

If you think you will struggle with baby being a boy then its probably better to find out, good luck with your scan

[SleepyMommaBear]

Oh yes I remember those - the nub experts guessed on those??? WOW there is barely anything there to guess on!!

How many days into the 12th week were you?

Yes, I’ll attach an image of their response. Other people I asked said no nub visible very confused as the next image looks as though that is a bit of baby’s leg, but what do I know!!

By my dates I would have been 11+5 at this scan, they measured me at 12+3 which doesn’t really fit with my known ovulation date?

[Mummyof4boys]

I agree with Atomic 100%. I suffered gender disappointment with three of my boy pregnancies, and knowing that they were boys at 20 weeks really helped me come to terms with my feelings before they were born and helped me bond with them better. We had names picked out for them early and I bought little outfits for them to help me be more excited. Of course only you can determine what is best for your situation and how you think you’ll cope with the news. Best of luck whichever way you go x

[Lailanela]

Hi,
First of all, please don't feel bad for your feelings. You're wishing for a girl, and a lot of people (especially here) do understand you.
I was team green for no.1 and no.3. I actually did not really care for the gender and I liked the surprise.
For my second I did find out, because I was kind of wishing for a boy. And I also liked it very much. We had a name early and I didn't have to think about a girls name at that time (which I find harder). And I bought a lot of really pretty stuff for baby boy.
We plan on trying next year for a girl and I plan on knowing the gender again, because I am kind of scared of getting depressed when it turns out to be a boy at birth.
Just because I know if you are team green people start to say baby will be this or that (based on old wives tales) and if you do have a preference I guess it could lead to believing it is you desired gender.
I wish you all the luck in the world however you will decide. And I hope you get what you wish for. 😊

[SleepyMommaBear]

Thanks all, I think I’m just so apprehensive about finding out and I’ve also been adamant to the outside world that it’d be a surprise this time.

I suppose I’ve just built it all up in my head, at least now I’m expecting to find out that I’m having a boy following the nub theory response. I hope you’re right and it’ll give me time to adjust, I’m just still scared that finding out I’m team blue will effect my bond with my bump and my baby...

[Blue-blue-pink]

I’m afraid I also think it looks like a boy when looking at the nub