Begonia's Boy Sway

[DoulaMama]

Thank you Zanacal!!! That really, really encourages me. I keep thinking I'm only going to like the surprise if it is what I want, KWIM? Love hearing your experience; makes me think it will be fun no matter what the outcome

I found out for my first 2 kiddos-(only technically the first....with DS2 I saw his penis on the u/s..it was very obvious!) and with DS3 I decided against u/s for my entire pregnancy. I was so undecided all the way up to 20 weeks but beyond that point i was totally at peace with the decision. I knew it was going to be a girl. I just KNEW it! I even bought a cute little dress to take pics of her in and send out the next am! When I was in labour all I could think about was the fact that I was going to meet my daughter for the first time in a short while.....an hour later(I have short labours) I pushed out my baby and pulled him up out of the water(homebirth). I just held baby in my arms, soaking up the sights for a full 2 minutes before I took a peak to see what we had By the time I looked, I was in love with my baby~ It ended up being a boy of course but I had no GD at all at the birth. I really do feel that not finding out is better for me. I have no GD during the pregnancy and I know that no matter what, I will love that sweet little baby. It wasn't until my little guy was about 3mos old that I began thinking about DC#4. It wasn't so much GD because he was a boy...just that I needed to try one more time
Anyway....that's my story...I won't be finding out this time obviously and I'm so excited about that amazing surprise at the end

[begonia]

What a great story there DM, that totally helps me out so thank you for sharing! I have a total crush on the ladies in this forum, for real ... such a great place for support.

I have to stay strong on this surprise thing because it really does sound worth it in the end

[SpicyTunaSushi]

See, I can't decide.

I live in another country, but will be home after I find out the gender (if I do). I feel like it would be WAY more convenient to know so that I can either bring back DD clothes or buy DS clothes. What would you do? Grandmothers can bring DD clothes if it is a girl though...

Hmmm.

[begonia]

Spicy did you find out with DD1? And will you have more kids? For me I know for sure this is our last one, so it is my (and DH's) last chance to ever have the experience of a surprise at birth.

It is definitely easier for planning purposes to go ahead and find out!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

I didn't find out with DD- though I suspected it was she because we dtd 9 times daily to conceive her and no eggwhite- just watery.

I did obsess worrying that it would be a dd. I love her to pieces, but I am afraid of finding out at a birth too. I do remember having tiny tiny amounts of GD when she was a newborn, but not a lot, and it faded.

I just feel like there is a lot of pressure to have a ds in my dh's family. My SIL is due before me and if she has a DS, I will struggle, but if I know I have a DS I will enjoy it more for her, IYKWIM?

And, no this won't be our last, probably at least 1-2 more.

[begonia]

See if you've already had the experience and know how you felt having done that... I would be more inclined to try finding out this time, since that will be a different experience for you.

Though I do worry like you said that I'll still have twinges of GD even once the baby arrives

And if you'll be having more then you'll know which way you liked it: finding out, or birthday surprise.

[SpicyTunaSushi]

Yes, with DD, I was 90% sure she was a girl. I also didn't see a convincing nub, though my friend had a ds after I saw the girliest nub around (I must not be very good at it- the back was curved). So, I did have time to mourn during the pg. I was at more peace at it when she was born. I really didn't have any hope it was a boy by that point.

It wasn't that hard waiting- but if we do find out, we won't tell anyone that we did. If boy, shout it to the world, if girl, privately keep it a secret.

[gizmo77]

See, I can't decide.

I live in another country, but will be home after I find out the gender (if I do). I feel like it would be WAY more convenient to know so that I can either bring back DD clothes or buy DS clothes. What would you do? Grandmothers can bring DD clothes if it is a girl though...

Hmmm.

do you have anoything neutral? just buy those if you want to keep it a surprise. ppl at my shower for DD1 were pissed that i didnt find out bc it is hard to find neutral clothes these days they say! haha
i personally LOVED the surprise and felt it was worth. in the betgnning of DD2's pg i had the same feelings as DD1 so i thought great another girl. butthru out the rest of the pgcy, it was diff (carried diff, diff food cravings, etc). and i thought i even saw a penis on one of the many u/s's i had. guess i was wrong. but when DH shouted out "its another girl!" during birth, i could care less, the epidural didnt work, and i wanted it OUT and when i held her she was beautiful. then once we got home and i was rushing to get her ready and DD1 (about a week or 2 later, when DH was back at work) i was like, this is exactly the same thing, wtf. wiping a vagina again. same ol' sh*t. same clothes.
but that lasted maybe a few hours at a time for a week or two. andi cant tell you how guilty i felt. and dh is right, i give DD2 a LOT more leeway for things than i did with DD1, but i always felt like it was bc she knew she was #2 and probly felt neglected.
today she is the light of my life (not the username on here!!!)

and when i started swaying adn reading info, i was worried that i would feel that GD if this #3 was a girl. but after reading ppls posts on here and thinking about it, i mentally pic myself with 3 girls and im ok. and then i read about that post that daisy posted about the girl being beaten to death and im grateful even more.

but this #3 is dh's compromise to my wanting 4 (unless we win the lottery, thats the deal), so if it is my last, i think i ill ask the tech to just show me and ill guess. then ask her to tell me its a boy regardless. jk, i think im just so sick of eating and eating and this diet and keeping track of this and that and being strict, etc that i just want to try already and be pg the first shot!! and i want to see if before hand if it is all worth it. buti dont plan on telling DH either way. id love for him to be surprised in the D room.

[begonia]

This is so great and really making me want to wait! Gizmo I know what you mean about not telling DH either way ... if I do happen to see some kind of nub or something on the later u/s that leads me either way I won't be sharing that information with him. He has ALWAYS wanted a surprise baby so I wouldn't want to spoil that!

I waver about if I will feel GD. I will say my two girls could not be more different (even how they dress) so I am sure a 3rd would also bring new things to the table. I think I might have some down days until the 3rd really got her personality showing. But who knows? I really hope I can just delight in having one more healthy bean :-)

[zanacal]

I won't pretend I didn't have any GD when DS3 was a newborn - but not immediately and certainly not in the delivery room! I remember being tearful a few times over the possibility of never having a daughter but I didn't start planting the seed in DH's mind about potentially having a 4th for quite some time and I never in a million years thought he'd actually agree to it! My DS2 was born at home and he was poorly when he was born. He didn't gasp for air for 5 minutes and didn't start trying to breath regularly for 15 minutes so we were rushed to hospital and he was in SCBU for 3 days. There was nothing permanent wrong with him but it was a terrifying experience and I wanted the moments after DS3's birth to be entirely different and not knowing if it was a boy or girl up until that point made it more special. As I'm writing this I'm thinking I'd love to have a surprise again - but after all this effort trying to sway I just don't know if I could hold out, and DH prefers to know too. It's a difficult choice!

I agree on the neutral clothes Spicy - there's nothing cuter than a newborn in a white sleepsuit