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July 23rd, 2018, 07:12 PM #11Swaying Advice Coach
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I understand, I just like to keep it at maximum clarity for everyone since we do have people who don't speak English reading some of these threads too. Wishing you the best and sending tons of blue dust.
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July 24th, 2018, 12:27 AM #12
TP I cannot wait for you to deliver! What an amazing detailed sway. Any and all my blue dust your way
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July 24th, 2018, 06:43 AM #13Dream Vet
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Thanks everyone. I'm over analyzing everything of course, including any comments you all have made that make me think, "They don't think I did a good sway! I shouldn't have a./b./c." Sigh!
I'm just expecting girl. I try not to think about how awful I'll feel after and keep trying to picture myself with two girls, it just stings so bad and feels so "wrong" to imagine. I even just had a dream last night where I gave birth to a little curly, brown haired baby crying and I "felt" like it was a girl but when I kept looking down, baby was in diaper so I couldn't tell!
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July 24th, 2018, 07:20 PM #14
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July 24th, 2018, 07:54 PM #15
Don't worry so much! This was a GREAT sway. I wish I would be able to do my sway that thoroughly!!
I can totally understand your fears especially after such crazy dreams but try to relax. Everything will be fine! I'm feeling kind of the same - and I have been in your shoes and faced the situation of actually having another girl (two times) when I wished for a boy. But I won't change my life for nothing in the world, I just love my babies so much. I think that is what every parent even after GD in the beginning will tell. I really hope this time I get a boy but I sooo can not believe it is possible and that makes me angry again because that is no boy-mom behaviour and I'm afraid this attitude hurts my sway lol I know that is kind of ridiculous but TTC makes one go nuts. After I have tried everything possible for this son that I still not have, I found my peace in "Thats how life is. That's fate or god or whatever you believe in. No matter what gender, your child can do and achieve everything nowadays and in our "first-world" anyway - if that is a concern. A healthy baby of either gender is always the best that can happen to us. And Eff everyone who makes comments and leads us to GD in the first place!!
I still hope you get your boy(thank you atomic!)
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July 24th, 2018, 08:37 PM #16
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!! I hope you get your little guy!!!
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July 25th, 2018, 07:39 AM #17Dream Vet
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Thank you for your words aira! And I feel you -- I used to stress that thinking I couldn't get a boy would undermine our sway. Then despite the immense disappointment of our IVF cycles, it at least let me know -- we make boys. Hell, we make boys 50% of the time! We're the 50/50! So I went into this sway knowing that, feeling free that after all of our losses and doing the absolute last thing we could do with IVF, the only thing LEFT to do was to keep swaying and praying/hoping we got that healthy Y. So in this process, I lost the fear of not getting a boy and gained the confidence of, "We just need to keep trying until we get the healthy Y."
And boy was I determined and confident going into this sway. I had reached my point of 'no return' in terms of trauma and grief from these losses and the cycles. I kitchen sinked, was obsessive/control freaky about my diet and DH's icing/supplements, so on and so forth. Boy mom personality hasn't ever been in question for me lol! As much as I say there was stuff "lining up in the universe," it was just that "Felix Felicis" making me feel like: "Ok, WORK for this. Don't give up." If I had lost this pregnancy (fingers crossed I still don't), I was literally contemplating some extreme measures because I was so determine to get my son and DH was clearly the obstacle :X
I even felt fine the first few weeks of this pregnancy -- mostly because I was focused on just staying pregnant! And even at this moment, it's not like I can say, "I just FEEL it's a girl" like I knew with DD. I am just now in a place where I don't want to get my hopes up, and as more boy guesses role in from people around me as I stay Team Green, I'm doing what I always worried about with DD: so many thought SHE was a boy, I would be gutted if we hadn't known before she was born. So now, I convince myself of the opposite so I can hopefully be ecstatic and truly happy for the first time in my life at delivery.
And I admire your feelings on all same gender and how you feel! I want a boy for some very different reasons -- I have a novel somewhere on here about it, haha. The issue lies with -- if THIS baby is an opposite, how could I possibly go through everything again? Hope that was an extremely bad fluke with 8 losses? Sway AGAIN after all this? Etc.
I won't give up to get my son. But the possibility of more endless miscarriages is now a hurtle I never expected to face, and one that could potentially even physically stop me from having more kids! So if the universe/God/whatever is listening to my prayers/thoughts/whatever, as I did before, I bargained a bit: "Let me have this healthy boy, and I WILL go back for those healthy frozen XXs somehow."
Lots of compromise I've made that I never thought I would (I'll never have another girl; I'll never go Team Green unless we have one of each). But I won't compromise my dream of a son. That's my, "Come hell or high water"Last edited by Throwaway_panther; July 25th, 2018 at 09:03 AM.
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November 5th, 2018, 04:02 PM #18
Hey! Sorry I’m a bit late to this post but wow! What a fantastic sway!
Firstly it made me so hungry, that diet is my dream ha! Probably explains my boys!
Well done for staying team green! Wishing you lots of luck for your baby boy
Lil
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November 6th, 2018, 06:14 AM #19Dream Vet
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Thank you Lilawt, I appreciate it.
The last few months have been filled with only girl guesses from people around me and while I've had dreams of boys, I had an insanely vivid and specific dream about having a girl so I'm just done hoping. Might have to try Ericsson IUI spinning next I guess -- I don't know what else I can do with DH.
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November 6th, 2018, 07:35 AM #20
Oh Panther...
Just so you know, about dreams...
My first vivid dream of a child (very vivid I tell you) : It was 2017, said so on my dreamphone (IRL it was 2013 and we were starting TTC). I was waiting outside for DH with a blonde 3 years-old boy at my side. Dh came and up we went for a stroll. End of the dream. Haha.
Come 2017 and I'm with a blonde 3 years-old girl at my side. Go figures !
I had another short one at the time. I was brushing the little brown curls of a child between 5 and 8 who was complaining heavily. But try as I may, I couldn't see their face in the mirror in front of us. It was all fogged up. DD2 has brown curls and is quite grumpy so I guess it was her after all...
I had two dreams while pregnant with DD1. One of myself changing the diapers of a big beautiful baby but try as I may I couldn't look down to see the gender. But the baby's face was girly-looking. I felt disappointed but consoled myself with the fact that dream-baby was really a beautiful healthy one.
The second dream was a bit more cruel : I just gave birth and my baby was taken to see if everything was okay. Then the midwife comes back with a cute blue bundle and tells me "Here's your little boy XXXXX". The first surge of happiness died down because the name was all wrong. My husband asks a question, the midwife seems surprised, looks down on the baby's bracelet and says : "OH I'm SO SORRY ! You're right, this is the son of the couple next door, the birth was at exactly the same time as yours ! Don't worry, we'll bring you your little girl asap !". I felt so crushed !
I had no dreams when pregnant with DD2 and the pregnancy felt very different. Even the first ultrasound, seeing her very strong heartbeat compared to that of her older sister, I wondered if it was a boy. Felt like it and everybody was telling me boy.
Imo, dreams and guesses can be right but they can be wrong too. Still wondering where is that blonde boy I saw so clearly in the first dream. For some time, I thought it meant I would conceive one in 2017. But DD2 happened in-between and we had to forget about TTC for a while.2014 ------- surprise 2016
Dreaming of a
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Hey, thanks Atomic for your reassuring message. I’m feeling a little better health wise although the thrush medication wasn’t helpful at all, I think it actually made things worse…?! Of more...
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