gizmo's boy sway

[gizmo77]

thanks zivic!
hobber: i questioned him about what he does in there and he says occasionally he does (but lately no since we ve been doing it every 3 days..he has a low sex drive so he coudnt POSSIBLY need to do it more than that!) and he says honestly he s just "relaxing" away from the kids, just him and his thoughts.

lately ive been noticing that particular gender patterns skip generations. but i guess not true for everyone. for ex my moms generation therer are some boys (maybe half as many boys as girls) and now our generation all girls so far (me my bro, my cousins, etc)

[gizmo77]

update: its a GIRL!

[TTC5]

Congratulations on a little girl x How are you feeling Gizmo? X

[Hobbermittens]

Oh gizmo! I'm sorry! I am pretty sure mine is a girl too.

[Indira]

Sorry it´s not the boy you swayed for gizmo, congratulations on your baby girl!

[begonia]

Gizmo thanks for updating, I was wondering how you were doing! Glad she is healthy but I'm sorry you didn't get the excitement of hearing boy ... as you know I (and many others!) understand all too well. FX you don't have GD and are able to fully enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

[gizmo77]

thanks everyone. begonia, i thought of you after it all sunk in and all the "crap" i tried to sell you to make you feel better. altho, sorry to say this to those who had some GD after hearing they are having the opposite they wanted, it sort of prepared me. once i was pg, i told myself i dont care if its a girl and deep down even was hoping itd be a girl just so i could have a chance at having the 4th and final kid ive always wanted (dh is very very hesitant..almost a NO to #4).

ive been excited about pgcy this whole time, and then in the waiting room, i prepared myself in case girl. and sure enough, the tech saw 2 lips and labia but "wasnt sure." then the perinatalogist came in and was like "yup its a girl!" my initial reaction was thats FINE! ive seen and heard of so many with 3 (or more) girls that i think its cute (still think this) and thought of all those boy moms who are dying for girls..and we just get what we get. i have to be honest and say i was a little disappointed..bc then all the memories of swaying flashed back and i thought..i did all that for nothing. and for a split second i started tearing away at my sway (should done this, etc) and then blamed my husband and his vices (caffeine!!). but then was like..what a waste of energy this is. just be happy theres no Down syndrome, spina bifida, heart abnormalities, etc. they did notice i had a placenta previa (placenta laying on top of my cervix) and said id just need a c-section (both previous births were vaginal), but MD said i have the type that should move away from the cervix as pgcy progresses. that sort of scared me and made me think even tho minor, im glad baby is healthy.

i was still kinda excited about knowing (1st gender scan of all pgcies) so it was weird to know for me. debated about telling dh then thought i just couldnt hold it in and blurted it out to him when he got home. he thought i was kidding at 1st bc i was smiling and happy but then said as a joke "at least we have enough bathrooms for them.." but hugged me and congratulated me and was genuinely happy. he said who cares, ppl just want boys for namesake and girls can do that and ANYTHING boys can do these days. and all these things about at least we know how to take care of a girl...no peeing on walls, etc.. :-)
so i was happy he was happy...he said he would have liked a boy and it would have been nice but oh well..you cant choose. theres prob a reason why we werent meant to have a boy...(theres a lot of boys in our family who are wacky/unsuccessful in life). so he said all the right things an di thought of all the right things...

then today (a day later) i started having some GD..i saw other ppl with boys...pigeon pairs, more than 1 boy etc. and my friends who have boys..and ppl who kept telling me "oh 2 girls..your 3rd is sure to be a girl too," and ppl i wanted to prove wrong or show off too (some ppl in my fam disapproved of our marriage bc dh is italian and not indian even tho we are the same religion...thus these ppl think that ppl who have girls are being punished....when their own daughters who married within race have all daughters too). so i was a bit depressed today but then came out of it when dh came home and cheered me up...he s like youc ant base your feelings on what other ppl think/say..thats not a life, etc.

and i felt better. then i look at my dtrs and think...i LOVE them theyre ADORABLE and then...thats enough girls...and then no ill love this one JUST as much..she ll be differnt too...so im back and forth but not severely so. i kinda wish i didnt find out bc how will i feel the rest of this pgcy? i want to enjoy and not think of gender. just healthy baby.

and what did i do wrong? not enough acv? too much sex too ffrequent? im already thinking of how ill do it diffly but im not sure if dh is up for #4. there goes my hopes of 2 girls/2boys..i mean at this point (after DD2 actually) ive been thinking id be happy with ONE son! whats the big deal with boys anyway????? theyre all the same up until a certain age and if anything sons leave their mothers sooner...right?

so im back and forth. im happy to be able to be pg, and carry a healthy child...but it wouldve been more exciting if this worked. the worse part for me is hearing ppls response. i know ppl will make comments "oh thats ok" or "dh just shooting girls huh!"

i mean i cant WAIT to meet her, i LOVE the name ipicked out for her...i feel SO guilty for even thinking this...horrible parent i am. im such a perfectionist and thought i had a PERFECT sway and still God (or whoever you believe in) ultimately makes the choice i guess!!!

dh is not interesd in pgd (even if we COULD afford it).. he doesnt like the idea of messing with life that way and is afraid something bad would happen to the child.

i dont mind being a woman who raised 3 daughters..guess it just would have beennice to have something different..you know?
anyway, i truly AM happy and thankful but im human and my mind slips here and there wondering...always.

thanks for all your support guys. i TRULY TRULY appreciate each and every word you guys type on here.

[gizmo77]

Oh gizmo! I'm sorry! I am pretty sure mine is a girl too.

you dont know that for sure girl!

[atomic sagebrush]

Aw gizmo, I'm sorry to hear it but very happy that you're at peace with it! Best of luck for a happy and healthy 9 months.

[LolaInLove]

he s like youc ant base your feelings on what other ppl think/say..thats not a life, etc.

Your DH is totally right about this. I am sorry you didn't hear boy, but many congrats on having a beautiful healthy baby! You didn't do anything wrong, and you certainly aren't being punished for anything. You are BLESSED to have this baby on the way!!!! I think it is totally normal to have days of going back and forth with emotions right now....very normal. I do that myself with our situation, and it's been a while. Just work through it and let yourself grieve if you need to, but DO listen to your DH- you needn't worry what other people think or say at all. This is your life and these are your precious girls, and you all are going to have a wonderful family, gizmo. I hope you are doing ok and things start looking sunny every day for you soon. xxoo