Annoying Comments that just rub salt in the wound....

[BZ94]

So my GD isn't horrible these days, or at least it's been replaced by the panic of "oh my god I'm having a third baby" but certain people/comments have really been pissing me off.

Yesterday I was out to breakfast with my boys and ran into a childhood friend and her family. The friend has an 18 month old daughter who was with them and her mom (the grandma) looked at me and said "This is what a little GIRL looks like!" and then laughed. She had three kids -GBG- and now has a granddaughter and is expecting a grandson from her son and daughter in law this summer, so I guess she doesn't know what GD feels like, but I thought it was really rude.

Later that day we saw DH's aunt, who from the beginning of my pregnancy told me I was having a girl because I "filled out everywhere" which is her way of saying I have gained a lot of weight this time (I have, and I hate it!) She always asks me how much I'm working out during my pregnancies and clearly favors her daughter and her daughter's DD over her son and her two grandsons. Yesterday she looked at me and kind of shook her head and said "It's so weird that you're having a boy, your face has REALLY changed this time." I was like "Are you talking about my double chin, haha?" and she was just like, "Don't YOU think it's changed?" and walked away. I think if I were having a girl I wouldn't care because I'd feel like the weight gain is worth it, but adding to my GD with comments like that really hurts.

UGH. I know people with one of each probably don't get it, but I am just sick of these comments and not really looking forward to hearing them forever.

[HopingWishingPraying]

Ugggh. I am angry on your behalf. People just dont think, they can be so insensitive and thoughtless some of the time. I mean, exactly WHAT did that woman think was funny about saying "this is what a little girl looks like?" Certainly not the most witty or original joke I have ever heard. And how exactly does the presence or absence of a tiny willy on a baby change the way a mother's face looks during pregnancy? Uggh. I hope people will reduce the silly comments when your beautiful baby arrives and that they dont get you too down in the meantime. I have 3 boys and am pregnant with a team green baby at the moment, so I am fighting off stupid comments left right and centre. I feel for you, it certainly can make the blood pressure rise!

[Emily]

OK, so this is what I do when someone upsets me like that - I think of the bitchiest thing I could possibly imagine saying to them and enjoy it in my head. So for your DHs Aunt it would be something like - yes but my face will slim as soon as the baby is born but you are stuck with yours, or thank goodness were a having another boy - wouldn't want anyone else the family turning out looking like you. For the lady who said "this is what a little girl looks like" I'd think ..and this is what my middle finger looks like or imagine holding a mirror to her face and saying this is what an insensitive cow looks like!!!

Hope I haven't offended anyone - just trying to illustrate a coping strategy that works for me.

I know that it is not big or clever to think such mean things but I would never say them out loud and it stops me from stewing about stuff and possibly behaving negatively.

Hope this helps a teeny bit.

[Hoping4aPrincess]

Those comments are disgusting. I would be pissed, too. You handled them a lot better then I would have! Especially that comment from that grandmother. When I found out I was expecting number 4, ppl kept asking me if I was hoping for a girl or that they hoped it was a girl. Those comments aren't as bad as the ones you received, but they still made me feel... I can't really explain it... Kinda like they were putting pressure on me to have a girl. My MIL who only had my DH and another son, said that she gave up hope for a granddaughter bc we "just can't make them" and my mom would keep texting me and telling me to think pink bc she needs another granddaughter. I don't think ppl realize how these comments make us feel. I'm sure in my case that they weren't being mean spirited, but they still hurt. So I totally understand how you feel. And I'm sorry you had to deal with those rude and insensitive comments. :bighug: