Any of you NOT sway and get your desired gender??

[Houseofblue]

So I will be ttc #4 soon and am on the fence about swaying. I know there are plenty on the swaying board who say they got their DG due to swaying, but I sometimes wonder if they would have gotten their DG anyway.

Anyway, not trying to start a debate, just wanted to hear from those of you who either did "perfect" sways and did not get your DG, or didn't do anything differently with your DG (didn't sway, diet was the same as with your previous children, etc). I want to hear from you guys because like I said, I'm on the fence about swaying (leaning more towards not, although I started taking some supps and avoiding certain food about 2 months ago just in case) and think if I hear both sides it will help me come to a decision I am comfortable with.

Thanks! :)

[lovemy2blessings]

I would like to know as well

[hotdogz&boyz]

I'd be interested as well. We are similar to you. We have a slight preference and I'm on the fence about swaying. Some days I want to and sometimes I'd like to not and just let nature take its course. But we have a while to decide what exactly (or not) we are going to do.

I know one person IRL with a gender desire who didn't have time to sway before finding herself pregnant. They got their desire despite making no changes. However, she was much older conceiving that child than she was with the other three. It was also "only" the second child with her new husband (the older two from a different relationship). But that wasn't me, just someone I am close enough to to talk about and know some of the details on (aka: she told me they planned to sway and got pregnant before they could start and was "sure" it wasn't her DG because of that fact).

[Mumof3girls]

I was trying to figure out if I should go HT or sway 2yrs ago. I had this strange feeling about doing HT because I thought I was the only person going through GD & I felt weird about using IVF when I didn't need to. I think if I had support like this forum back then I would have done it. I didn't know much about HT either. We decided to sway & we even went on a holiday to the US and could have done a cycle but we swayd instead and got our DD3. I guess thats when the GD kicked in and I started looking into HT more thorouly. I am too scared to try swaying again and we are going HT this time and even if it doesn't work I will not try naturally again. I just wanted to experience bringing up both genders & and I didn't prefer one gender or the other even for my first child.

[motherofboys]

I'm also on the fence. I know from with DS4 (didn't sway) there were those in the same 'due in' month forum as me who had swayed and didn't get their desired gender, I also know from another forum a lady who has 4 boys, didn't sway and is expecting her 1st girl.
I feel that swaying might raise my hopes. But I also feel if I don't sway, and I do get a 5th boy, then I'll feel I didn't try my hardest. Like swaying may bring a certain closure and I can say "I gave it my best shot, this is how things are meant to be".

[sallygal]

We did a good sway (well I thought it was pretty good- le diet, low ph, refresh douche, timing, abstain then one attempt, supps, can't remember if there was anything else now!!) and ended up with ds3 who is absolutely perfect. It was all pretty consuming at the time so after we found out we were having another boy I said to dh that if we were to have another I wouldn't do anything and just leave it up to chance (which I believe it totally is, no offence to all the swayers!).

Anyway we have decided that we are going to have another but we are not going to leave it to chance and going ht this year. Unless u know u wouldn't mind having another boy I think ht is the only guarantee. It is a lot of money but an investment to complete our family!

And in saying that I know a lot of people that didn't do any swaying and had different genders! Good luck with your decision! X

[wantingonemore]

I swayed pink pretty hard for pregnancy no3. (the first 2 were random conceptions) and still got another boy :) now we are on the HT path.

I think swaying is great to try as long as you are prepared to get the other gender. I can't imagine life without DS 3 - he is such a joy to all of us and his big brothers adore him, but I still want a DD to balance our family.

Good luck!

[snipsnsnails]

I have 3 boys and was always very fertile. Pregnant first try with all three! We decided we really wanted a DD to complete our family. I looked into HT because I wanted the guarantee. Well after 2 rounds of IVF I responded terribly to it. So natural fertility has nothing to do with ivf. On my second round I did get 2 girls and 1 was a hatching blast, thought for sure I would get pregnant. Nope a bfn! I knew I was done with ht. it wasn't working my oldest was 7 and I was 35 I didn't want to waste more time and money. So I researched swaying. At this point I just wanted a baby but would sway hard for a girl.
I completely changed my diet took sups, everything in my plan. My dh followed everything too. On our first attempt bfp! Now 20 weeks with my little girl.
If I didn't sway and my dh didn't change his habits I would've had boy 4... I really believe swaying and some praying,lol brought our little girl!
Best of luck with your decision.

[Houseofblue]

Thanks to everyone who responded! Wow so much to think about!!

I used to post on IG a few years back and was obsessed with going HT, back then I thought it might be a possibility but our financial situation is worse now than it was then. Our credit is shot too so no finances to fund it. I also have some issues with HT (not ethical issues but heard some bad stories that I won't go into here).

I just turned 36 so time is not on my side. I conceived my boys very quickly (1st or 2nd month trying) but also have a history of multiple losses (4). My hubby is in his mid-40s and has low T and low SC (has for a while actually, only just now finding out). A few months ago I started showing signs of estrogen dominance (started having night sweats on O day and also day before and of AF starting, heart palps, among other things)...I started fish oil and all of that went away! But now I am worried about my fertility. I found out fish oil sways boy, but estrogen dominance sways boy too and I would rather fix any fertility issues that may come...don't wanna not get PG at all, you know?

So I just don't know if I want to sway. I have been on gender boards for years now (DIG, then IG, and now this one), and have seen just as many sway fails as I have successes. I am still not entirely convinced it works, but since dh and I have said this will be our last child part of me wants to do something "extra" to feel like I did all I could, even if I am not sure it works. At the same time, I am worried if I sway and it fails I will feel worse b/c I would have made myself believe my chances were much higher, kwim?

Please keep the responses coming!!! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

It is always possible, and in fact PROBABLE, that people will eventually get the opposite gender if they have enough kiddos. If you look at the Duggar family, they had a run of B/G, a run of boys, and a run of girls that all were longer than most of us even have.

The reason why people sway is because most of us would like that to happen sooner rather than later and don't want to have to "Duggar it out". If you look at the statistics, we are getting about 80% with boy sways (meaning that some of us leading boy-friendly lifestyles may have been as much as 80% likely to have boys) and then 65-75% with girl sways (this can vary by what tactics were included while blue sways are pretty similar). So even though swaying is not 100% and never will be, to go from possibly 80% likely to have a boy, to 75% likely to have a girl, does seem to show that at least some of us are getting the opposite gender not because of luck or that we were "due" to but something really does appear to be working.

In terms of people you see/know IRL, there are lots of things that happen in people's lives that are swaying that may not be visible to the naked eye. People are never in the same place physically that they were with previous conceptions, there are just too many variables that come into play. People ~really~ did exactly the same thing with all their kids? REALLY? How is that even possible - answer, it's not possible because we are not lab rats in a cage LOL and even just having had our kiddos can affect our bodies in unpredictable ways.

My thinking is that if HT is ever an option, people should go that route instead because while odds of success with HT do fall off sharply over time But to my mind, if the choice is between swaying and just TTC naturally, then there's no harm in doing a laid back sway.

What I do want people to avoid (and this is truer of pink swayers than it is blue) is launching "the Great Sway of 2014" where your testosterone shoots through the roof because that really IS going to be worse for pink sways than doing nothing at all. Full explanation is here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/33517-maternal-dominance-hypothesis-priviledged-daughter-hypothesis.html

[hotdogz&boyz]

Honestly, when I was swaying, I didn't even take into account some of the factors that probably were the strongest for my sway. ^^That being a big one. So, sometimes, the sway looks *great* (or not) on paper (please don't anyone read into that thinking I am judging sways...I can't think of another way to put this), its the background stuff, obsessional thinking about it, being under stress, etc is what undermines it and puts that die back at 50-50 or even 80-20 'against' the person swaying.

I do think that women who conceive children with the same basic pattern are more inclined to produce more of the same gender children. Since their personality generally hasn't changed and if things like diet, exercise, age, and general state of being are the same...I think that 80-20 does apply (but there is still 20% there).

But for us, I think I am leaning toward a light sway. I understand what you mean about swaying and feeling more hopeful and being let down. But in my mind, changing what you feel like changing and moving forward to TTC is a good compromise. If you don't want to do diet, do a light diet toward girly foods, but not 100%. If you don't want to exercise everyday, maybe drop back to none for a while. Try to lose 3-5lbs (if you can afford to). But don't go wild and make yourself nuts about it. I figure even the small changes I can make might move my odds from 80-20 boy by increments...where you add them up might end up somewhere around 65-55 boy...which gives me a whole other 15%. And heck, I have a blood clotting disorder that affects "a larger number of people than you might think" at a whopping 6% of the population. So, hey, make those stats work for you :)

[Houseofblue]

Thanks atomic!! I really appreciate your info! :) Very true and a lot to think about...I'm going to read that link, thank you! :)

Hotdogz, I think that's what I'm leaning towards too, a light sway. I don't mind changing some things up but if I'm being completely honest, the more extreme stuff like douches and all just arern't for me.

You know, I think I'm just really scared... scared of getting my hopes up you know?

[iluvmy4sons]

I did a light sway. I took more calcium and magnesium. The biggest thing I did that I didn't do with my boys is that I had my husband abstain for 14 days I think it was more like 16. Then we DTD 3-4 days out.

[Houseofblue]

Thanks for the tip iluvmysons!! :) Abstaining won't be an issue, we DTD very infrequently.

Do u mean you DTD 3-4 days before O?

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks atomic!! I really appreciate your info! :) Very true and a lot to think about...I'm going to read that link, thank you! :)

Hotdogz, I think that's what I'm leaning towards too, a light sway. I don't mind changing some things up but if I'm being completely honest, the more extreme stuff like douches and all just arern't for me.

You know, I think I'm just really scared... scared of getting my hopes up you know?

We don't go in for the extreme sway tactics around here and I am working towards eliminating or reducing quite a few of the other ones. I think people have the tendency to feel like "well this must be difficult" and particularly with pink sways, overcomplicate themselves into a state of swaycession and control-freak-dom that sends their T levels skyrocketing and ends up giving them a lower chance of a daughter than if they had done nothing whatsoever.

But really, I think that whatever sways is probably pretty easy/natural/effortless, and that's why most people walking around out there utterly clueless to any of this have some combo of boys and girls. Our genes WANT to have both genders because it optimizes odds that they will be passed down to future generation. They (the genes) just want to make sure that we have girls when they have a better chance, and boys when they have a better chance.

[iluvmy4sons]

Thanks for the tip iluvmysons!! :) Abstaining won't be an issue, we DTD very infrequently.

Do u mean you DTD 3-4 days before O?

Yes 3-4 O



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[Dreamofpink]

We don't go in for the extreme sway tactics around here and I am working towards eliminating or reducing quite a few of the other ones. I think people have the tendency to feel like "well this must be difficult" and particularly with pink sways, overcomplicate themselves into a state of swaycession and control-freak-dom that sends their T levels skyrocketing and ends up giving them a lower chance of a daughter than if they had done nothing whatsoever.

But really, I think that whatever sways is probably pretty easy/natural/effortless, and that's why most people walking around out there utterly clueless to any of this have some combo of boys and girls. Our genes WANT to have both genders because it optimizes odds that they will be passed down to future generation. They (the genes) just want to make sure that we have girls when they have a better chance, and boys when they have a better chance.

Thanks Atomic, that's a great piece of advice. Of course, now you've said it it makes so much sense to me - swaying must be easy or else we'd all have single gender families. I know for certain I over-complicated things, swaycessed & thought it would only work if I did everything! (Despite your advice at the time ;)) I still want to sway next time, but will only stick to a few proven tactics. Dh actually said that ds3 is almost making him broody - wow! Breakthrough!!! :rofl:

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[motherofboys]

You know what Atomic, I had been worrying about when the time came all the effort I'd have to put into a sway, especially the diet.
I'm thinking now that maybe I should try to begin now making more gradual lifestyle and diet changes so its just a natural thing. I won't be TTC until later this year at the earliest.
I know from information on here that my life in general is a big boy sway, I was already expecting DS4 by the time I joined the site so its always been pot luck LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: When I was first looking into swaying, I figured I was coming in way more set for boys to start with and if I could even GET to 50-50, I was like hell yeah I'll take a coin flip at that point! Now - did it work the first time, no, but then again 50-50 one heads and one tails ;)

[myrainbowgirl]

It is always possible, and in fact PROBABLE, that people will eventually get the opposite gender if they have enough kiddos. If you look at the Duggar family, they had a run of B/G, a run of boys, and a run of girls that all were longer than most of us even have.

The reason why people sway is because most of us would like that to happen sooner rather than later and don't want to have to "Duggar it out". If you look at the statistics, we are getting about 80% with boy sways (meaning that some of us leading boy-friendly lifestyles may have been as much as 80% likely to have boys) and then 65-75% with girl sways (this can vary by what tactics were included while blue sways are pretty similar). So even though swaying is not 100% and never will be, to go from possibly 80% likely to have a boy, to 75% likely to have a girl, does seem to show that at least some of us are getting the opposite gender not because of luck or that we were "due" to but something really does appear to be working.

In terms of people you see/know IRL, there are lots of things that happen in people's lives that are swaying that may not be visible to the naked eye. People are never in the same place physically that they were with previous conceptions, there are just too many variables that come into play. People ~really~ did exactly the same thing with all their kids? REALLY? How is that even possible - answer, it's not possible because we are not lab rats in a cage LOL and even just having had our kiddos can affect our bodies in unpredictable ways.

My thinking is that if HT is ever an option, people should go that route instead because while odds of success with HT do fall off sharply over time But to my mind, if the choice is between swaying and just TTC naturally, then there's no harm in doing a laid back sway.

What I do want people to avoid (and this is truer of pink swayers than it is blue) is launching "the Great Sway of 2014" where your testosterone shoots through the roof because that really IS going to be worse for pink sways than doing nothing at all. Full explanation is here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/33517-maternal-dominance-hypothesis-priviledged-daughter-hypothesis.html

Totally agree with atomic here, especially her last paragraph. I obsessed over my pink sway, and am now convinced that that was my downfall. I really do think that swaying can work, it didn't in my case, even though my sway was pretty good. I think I just totally cancelled out the good parts of my sway with my testosterone-increasing obsession.

For me personally, I also feel that God was trying to teach me a lesson...that ultimately, He is in control, and that if I want a daughter, He will have to do it. I was so devastated after hearing boy #4 that I vowed in no way would I do this again without a guarantee (HT or adoption). However, in the ensuing GD journey, we have decided that trying to control everything is exactly the opposite of what we need to do. And for us, that also means not swaying. Now, I will say this, I believe I actually got pregnant much sooner on the LE diet (than I ever did not swaying), because it actually helped my PCOS (I did not do white carbs, and reduced my sugar intake). So, I intend to do similar diet when trying for #5, but only because it helped my fertility. (Pink sways usually do NOT help fertility, but in my case, it did.) I will be leaving the rest up to God. This is what I feel most at peace about.

IRL, I have a friend with BBGB. She recently got pg with #5, and was not opposed to swaying for a girl. She got pregnant the month before she would have tried to, ended up doing a long cutoff thinking there was no way she could get pg (like 7 days before ovulation). She got pg, and just found out it's a girl. So, while she didn't sway, I think her timing did (not that traditional timing/Shettles methods work). I just think that those more sturdy girl sperm were the only ones that happened to be left when she o'd a week after sex. Anyway, so she is an example of not swaying but still getting her DG. There's my two cents. :) Best of luck getting your DG!

[4 blues~hopingforpink~]

My sway was really really lazy and very light! I ate whatever I wanted, anytime I wanted. Only thing I did was drink diet soda and CL. Had a couple boiled eggs every morning with a cup of coffee with equal and creamer. Took Vitex and SP for 3 months AF-O, but ran out of vitex 3 days into my last period in Aug and had been taking folic acid twice a day for months before. Dtd twice in one night 3 days before O and 1 day after (not planned that way.. Just happened) and I lost 6lbs before conceiving also not planned. That's it!

I guess u could say I wasn't really trying.. I was just taking precautions thinking if it happens it happens and if not no big deal. I had just lost a baby so all I really wanted was a healthy one boy or girl.

My sway is in the swaying forum..

[Houseofblue]

4blues, so what would u say helped you the most- the CL, equal and vitex? What did the vitex do and why does it sway? Also what is SP? How much folic acid were u taking?
Sorry for all the questions!

I'm so very sorry about your angel baby, 4blues

[4 blues~hopingforpink~]

4blues, so what would u say helped you the most- the CL, equal and vitex? What did the vitex do and why does it sway? Also what is SP? How much folic acid were u taking?
Sorry for all the questions!

I'm so very sorry about your angel baby, 4blues

Honestly Idk what helped me the most.. It could of just been my body at the time or it could of very well been the things I was doing. I'm not really sure what the vitex does, it somehow suppose to attract the females and the SP I guess is suppose to keep the testosterone down in a womans body. Its been said that testosterone attracts the males. Correct me if I'm wrong someone.. Folic Acid I was only taking 800 a day...

[atomic sagebrush]

Just wanted to clarify that IF timing does sway, it's not because X is bigger/stronger/longer lived - that was Dr. Shettles big mistake and it has been 100% proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be untrue. He was looking at capactiated and uncapacitated sperm thru a microscope. No one can see X vs. Y sperm through a microscope.

Lower sperm numbers DO seem to sway and so for some people if they did have a long cutoff (which unless ovulation is confirmed by ultrasound, I strongly doubt that anyone got pg from a 7 day cutoff and would suspect that anyone who believes that they did, actually ovulated sooner than they realized - but I digress) that it was lower sperm numbers that swayed pink and NOT that X sperm are stronger or longer lived, because they aren't.

[atomic sagebrush]

4blues, so what would u say helped you the most- the CL, equal and vitex? What did the vitex do and why does it sway? Also what is SP? How much folic acid were u taking?
Sorry for all the questions!

I'm so very sorry about your angel baby, 4blues

No one can say what really helped them, to be honest. May have been any or all of those things or some other thing entirely, or sheer dumb luck! Don't get too hung up on what other people did - it may not work for you.

Vitex is here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-girl-best-practices/1094-vitex-faq-share-your-experiences-here.html

SP here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-girl-best-practices/7108-saw-palmetto-peppermint-tea-licorice-root-depth-how.html

Crystal Light here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-girl-best-practices/7086-how-lower-ph-via-supps-cran-baby-aspirin-aspartame-other-techniques.html

I want all pink swayers to take 1200-1600 mcg folic acid. If you're over 35 you can bump that to 2000 and if over 40 you can go as high as 4000. Break this into smaller doses and take several times a day for best absorption

[myrainbowgirl]

Just wanted to clarify that IF timing does sway, it's not because X is bigger/stronger/longer lived - that was Dr. Shettles big mistake and it has been 100% proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be untrue. He was looking at capactiated and uncapacitated sperm thru a microscope. No one can see X vs. Y sperm through a microscope.

Lower sperm numbers DO seem to sway and so for some people if they did have a long cutoff (which unless ovulation is confirmed by ultrasound, I strongly doubt that anyone got pg from a 7 day cutoff and would suspect that anyone who believes that they did, actually ovulated sooner than they realized - but I digress) that it was lower sperm numbers that swayed pink and NOT that X sperm are stronger or longer lived, because they aren't.

Yes, you are right, Atomic. I know that long cutoffs have helped people before, but you are right about the lower sperm numbers being the reason. This friend said she got a clear temp shift on day 17 (they had DTD on day 10), and her first ultrasound showed baby measuring smaller than her LMP. However, later on a newer/better ultrasound machine, baby measured right on with LMP, which would mean more like o'ing on day 14. Still would have been a 4-day cutoff, though, so I think that certainly helped her get her girl, considering that she has 3 boys already.

In fact, her first DD was conceived on a 3-day cutoff, while all her boys were right around ovulation. I know that this is most certainly NOT reliable, but those lower sperm numbers seemed to have helped her. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Yeah I just wanted to clarify for anyone who didn't know and was reading this thread. :)

There are studies out there that show clearly that even with a high level of expertise (doctors and people who were trained to use NFP), people could only pinpoint day of ovulation 30% of the time. So we have to take people's reports on how timing swayed for them, with a big grain of salt because even the experts get it wrong. NFP is great birth control and to help up odds of conception but is not reliable to pinpoint day of ovulation.

[Houseofblue]

Hey thanks so much for everyone who replied to this thread! I've decided to take the plunge! :))) I can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different result, regardless of whether one believes in swaying or not. I have come to realize if I do nothing and have another DS I will wish I would've at least tried swaying. I'm excited but it's all so overwhelming!!

[zebaniee]

I swayed blue twice and ended up with two daughters. One prominently focused on timing and the other with a focus on diet, supps etc. I am not entirely sure I believe in swaying because surely at least one of the attempts should have worked?

Wishing you all the best for your sway, I have my fingers crossed that it works for you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Z, all we can do is look at the numbers across the whole population of the swayers on the site compared to the population as a whole, and those numbers do seem to indicate that overall, swaying can and does seem to work. If it didn't, we'd all be getting 50-50 boys and girls.

I HATE it when people's sways don't work and all I can promise is that I keep on working and doing my best to make it happen for as many people as I can do. :heart: