m0m0f3b0ys
March 8th, 2014, 08:47 PM
Hi there,
I've used a GD forum site 2.5 years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd boy. I hit an intense depression. I was upset that I was pregnant again & had I known it'd be a boy, I never would have bothered. I had feelings of strong dislike and regret toward the baby the remainder of my pregnancy (even though I was thankful internally that I was able to have a baby to begin with, as I know others aren't able to; but I still had a very hard time getting over the fact that I wasn't having a girl). I'm so envious of all the pink. It has taken me this long, to not be as angry and accept that I have only boys. Don't get my wrong, the moment my sweet little boy was born, it was instant love and he's been my best friend ever since. I wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the world. I still feel jealous and annoyed when other friends have girls and for awhile, couldn't even congratulate acquaintances on facebook for their new pink miracle. I had a nemesis in high school (I'm now 28), but over the last year and some odd months, her and I have become best friends. She has 2 boys of her own and until today, was pregnant with her 3rd baby, gender unknown. We for sure thought it was a boy. We've been prepping for her "boy" this whole time. We've called it 'our baby' the entire pregnancy. I just found out 2 hours ago, that she had a little girl. As happy as I am for my friend, I've been crying on and off and I feel like such a terrible friend..not to mention, extremely irrational. It feels like finding out Cole was a boy all over again. I feel like I'm a raging pit of envy and I just need some reassurance that this is normal. I need to know that I'm not awful for these feelings.. Obviously, I'm happy for her, I truly am.. but I never once prepped myself for this, or maybe I was in denial and refused to believe the possibility for her to have a girl was there, considering she already has two boys. Oh, sigh..
I've used a GD forum site 2.5 years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd boy. I hit an intense depression. I was upset that I was pregnant again & had I known it'd be a boy, I never would have bothered. I had feelings of strong dislike and regret toward the baby the remainder of my pregnancy (even though I was thankful internally that I was able to have a baby to begin with, as I know others aren't able to; but I still had a very hard time getting over the fact that I wasn't having a girl). I'm so envious of all the pink. It has taken me this long, to not be as angry and accept that I have only boys. Don't get my wrong, the moment my sweet little boy was born, it was instant love and he's been my best friend ever since. I wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the world. I still feel jealous and annoyed when other friends have girls and for awhile, couldn't even congratulate acquaintances on facebook for their new pink miracle. I had a nemesis in high school (I'm now 28), but over the last year and some odd months, her and I have become best friends. She has 2 boys of her own and until today, was pregnant with her 3rd baby, gender unknown. We for sure thought it was a boy. We've been prepping for her "boy" this whole time. We've called it 'our baby' the entire pregnancy. I just found out 2 hours ago, that she had a little girl. As happy as I am for my friend, I've been crying on and off and I feel like such a terrible friend..not to mention, extremely irrational. It feels like finding out Cole was a boy all over again. I feel like I'm a raging pit of envy and I just need some reassurance that this is normal. I need to know that I'm not awful for these feelings.. Obviously, I'm happy for her, I truly am.. but I never once prepped myself for this, or maybe I was in denial and refused to believe the possibility for her to have a girl was there, considering she already has two boys. Oh, sigh..