Uk ladies

[Babybeaublue]

Saw midwife today, told her I was still feeling sick and she said "another girl then?" :hair:
On the plus side I got to hear baby's heartbeat :heart::bigsmile:
How are you?

[motherofboys]

You would think midwifes would know better than to go by old wives tales. I was SO much sicker with ds4 than any of them and he was still a boy lol


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[Babybeaublue]

I know, because I felt sick with the rest then obviously that means this one must be the same gender :/

[motherofboys]

Another friend having a girl after 1 boy. It would seem the closer people are to me the harder it is to deal with. Knowing that we have grown up nieces and nephews who are in stable long term relationships scares the crap out of me. If it's this hard when it's a friend how hard will it be when it's one of them?


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[Babybeaublue]

I hate the smugness....

[motherofboys]

It's the way when people announce a second of the same gender people just 'like' it and say they bet the child will be happy with a little bro/sis. But when they announce the opposite twice as many people comment saying how fantastic it is and congratulating them


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[Sweet mummy]

So true! The comments about "Awww one of each..PERFECT family!" really annoy me. So, because I have more than one of the same gender my family ISN'T perfect!?!?

[motherofboys]

I made Dh do the school run. I'm hiding. I don't think I can stand seeing everyone fussing over how great it is, and it'll be weird if I stand away from them. I'm not really close with her but she's one of the people I regularly speak to in the playground.


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[Sweet mummy]

Give yourself sometime hun! I had a good "friend" (we mainly kept in touch through WhatsApp as she lives in Trinidad) who I stopped talking to because she had a girl a month after DS2 was born. She has a DS same age as DS1. I felt so hurt and like she rubbed it in my face but now I look back I just didn't handle it well and feel really petty. Time does heal.

Just want you to know you're not alone *hugs*

[motherofboys]

Thanks. That's really what I feel like. Like I can't watch her put up all the pictures people do of the baby clothes they have bought. And I'll have to avoid Facebook when her baby is born. I honestly want to just unfriend her but how pathetic and petty is that. I know that I'm probably being overly dramatic because I'm upset and af is due and everything.


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[Sweet mummy]

Maybe hide her profile for a bit so you can't see her newsfeed? The news will wear off eventually and then there will be something else happening at school to throw the attention off her!

[motherofboys]

Thanks, I feel a bit better today. Although I did just realise that this actually means I am the only one in that group of people now without a girl.
I can't help but wonder if everyone feels some level of disappointment. Those people who say they will only have 2 and stick to it. When they get a 2nd boy or 2nd girls do they feel the "oh I don't get to do the boy/girl thing then" or does it not even enter their heads.

[Sweet mummy]

I think it must not because they seem to just get on with it and raise the two they've got. No idea! I've read some interesting views from people on here and on other sites about why they'd even prefer ALL of one gender but ended up with the other. Grass is always greener though right?

[motherofboys]

Yeah I guess so. I think I'm just greedy wanting both lol


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[Sweet mummy]

Definitely not ;) That would make me greedy too lol

Think we've done the boy bit so now we just want to see what this girl fuss is all about!

[motherofboys]

So the friend who has a boy and girl and is pregnant with a baby by a new guy who has only boys (she told me 5 but then confessed only 3 are biologically his) had her scan today. It's a girl. I felt physically sick waiting for news this morning. Trying to keep it together because it's dh birthday and don't want to spoil it for him. It's bit fair, she already has a daughter and he isn't even allowed to see his kids!


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[motherofboys]

So it's official. Of 4 friends waiting to hear the gender, every one of them got a girl.
1 now has 1 of each.
The 2nd already had one of each but her boyfriend had 3 boys, so they were hoping girl.
And the 3rd has 4 boys and heard girl.
The last just announced a girl after 3 boys. I knew it would be. We are part of a small group and what are the odds of 2 people in that group ending up with 4 boys?!
Everywhere I go I am the only one with just boys.


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[Dreamofpink]

:( How are you feeling today MOB? X x

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[motherofboys]

I couldn't even be sad after the last one. I've exhausted all my sadness recently.
Dh has agreed to full on swaying in jan then ttc in feb but the last week or so I really don't know if I have the energy. I'm not saying anything to him yet but I just feel like I can be happy with my 4 boys. And I don't know if I can put myself through the waiting and hoping again. I keep thinking if I don't give it a go will I regret it one day? But at the same time I feel like maybe I'm ready to just move on. If I sway and get a 5th boy anyway, what then? Do I keep telling myself that maybe the next one would be a girl, if we just try one more time? And while I wish I could have a big family of 8 or 10 I know I couldn't afford that.
I'm still undecided but I'm wondering if it's time to just face facts and get on with my life. Today I only felt happiness with my boys, I didn't feel any kind of sadness or longing when people posted about their daughters on Facebook.
I must say that the person who announced last has been great. She hasn't flooded Facebook with girl stuff at all yet.
I know I will probably have days or even weeks when I'm really down again though.
Although I have always wanted a 5th baby, I do think that if I had a girl already I'd be able to look at all the other things on life and make a more level headed decision.


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[foxymrsg]

Hi Hun how you doing? Are you feeling any better? I'm feeling the same as you at the moment everyone is having girls and I just can't shake off the jealous feeling. It's getting harder! Feel like every time they get a girl it's one less chance for me! Crazy I know but I can't help feel that way!
Wish I just didn't care and it would be what it would be, but I think I feel this way more because I know we won't be ttc for prob another 12 months I think.

[Dreamofpink]

Oh ((hugs)) foxy it's just crap isn't it? I still feel that way all the time despite being crazy-in-love with my almost 13 mo ds3. :(

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[motherofboys]

I've decided to stop ttc. Dh doesn't want to call it a day on baby making 100%, he says give it a few years and see how I feel with ds4 is getting bigger and not a baby any more.
But right now I'm doing good. I don't think that the "it would have been nice to have a girl" feeling will ever completely go but I do feel like I don't need one any more. I stayed at a friends over New Years, she has 2 girls and at no point did I feel jealous or sad.
I'm not sure I could go through GD again but who knows where I'll be in a year or 2. Right now though I'm ready to move on to the next stage of parenting and happy with my boys.
I came away from my yearly lunch with my mum at Christmas feeling like it didn't matter what gender they are, I just want a better relationship than that and when I'm old that's what will matter, not the dresses and hair clips and pink.
I was so scared that I'd regret saying no more, and I know that for the time being the chance is still there and it's only been a few weeks since I started thinking about stopping but as these few weeks have passed I've felt happier and more sure of my decision so I hope that continues. And I know if I change my mind down the line I have the option of swaying too. I'm only 28 so there's time.


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[motherofboys]

Sweet mummy your inbox us full again ;)


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[foxymrsg]

Defo dream of pink my ds2 is almost 2 now and I'm loving every moment with him and ds1 but it's a constant nagging at the back of my mind!

Mother of boys I'm really pleased that you are happy with your decision! And I agree you're still so young you've plenty of time to change your mind if you decide to! I'm glad you're in a happy place and at that point where you're not feeling jealous anymore that's wonderful!
I agree with the mother/child relationship. I think we get so hung up about mother daughter as that's what other people drum into us but actually as you say just longs you always have that wonderful relationship with your boys that you have now then pink dresses and bows don't matter! I hope DH and I will ttc one more. DH is twoing and throwing so much it actually makes me feel really crap! But if we do have a third and it's another ds I hope I can be 100% content with that. I know I'll love him no matter what of course I just hope that I'll be able to close that chapter in my life you know? Sorry I'm rambling lol

[motherofboys]

Ha ha I'm a rambler too so don't worry. I hope that everyone gets their dream gender but if they don't I hope they find peace with it. Another baby one day would be fabulous and I hope that if/when that time comes I can sway but keep a positive attitude.
I know I'll probably have a few ups and downs along the way though.
And I think it makes more sense financially to stop now but who knows what the future brings.
I've been jealous of my friends mother daughter relationships but as times gone on I've noticed how many women don't have that relationship with their mothers, but men who do.


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[foxymrsg]

Yes I agree, people,e were always so quick to point out the saying 'a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he takes a wife' a builder we had in said this to me last year and so I asked him how often he and his sister visit their mum. Well guess what he visited his mum every weekend and has her round for Xmas and his sister has moved away and rarely sees her mum but it chat to on the phone! He hadn't thought of it like that just relating some trope he'd heard somewhere! True that's not always the case but think it's personality that it boils down to at the end of the day!
I have 2 sisters and one brother, I'm defo closer to my mum than all of them I think although my brother lives the closest and relies on my mum a lot but he is very much closer to my mum than my 2 sisters. Both live further away so just shows you don't even need to have a relationship that was close growing up, girls (and boys) still move away. It depends on who they meet etc and I've seen your boys on FB and you can tell how much they love their mumma! They will be super close to you!
Hope that's making sense of what I'm trying to say lol

[motherofboys]

I do think that it's all a combination of personality and how you raise them. After all no 2 are the same and you can push them all away yet 1 will stay close or you can reach for out and try to keep them close and 1 will push away from you anyway.


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[motherofboys]

I must admit though, I am a little scared about when all these babies start arriving. Someone I only know through Facebook has a girl after 3 boys today and there's still that little 'that could have been me' feeling. I expect that's normal and I'll still get that now and then until it's too late to change my mind.
We've decided to start saving for a holiday abroad. Something we've never had as a family and I've actually never had at all.
It's going to take about 2/3 years to save enough for 6 passports, the holiday cost plus enough spending money for 6 people. So that's something to concentrate on. Hoping I can find another project to take my attention away when I do inevitably dip.

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[Vic]

I am new here and just read your posts. I wanted to add that my mother in law has four boys and she is an amazing mother to them and they are really close to her. We chose to live close to her so she could see our boys a lot. I think you are absolutely right when you say it is about the relationship. My husband and his brothers are really close to her. The other thing that I have learnt from her is that when you have boys it is important to keep your own friendships up so you have people to do the girlie things with! Xxxxxx


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[motherofboys]

Thanks for that. Has she ever spoken about whether she was that bothered about only having boys and how she feels now? I know it's not the sort of thing I could speak to my mother in law about if she'd had all boys, but you seem closer to yours just for her to have offered you the advice to keep up friendships.
It's nice to know that you really can be that close and I'm not just kidding myself lol


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[eleena2014]

Any uk ladies can recommend a good but inexpensive fibre supplement please. I have no idea which to get,and can't really afford to pay a lot

[motherofboys]

I don't know how good it is but I got a jar of olive leaf extract from amazon. Dh never used it, it's still unopened. And I just checked the date as I was going to offer to send it to you for the cost of postage but it apparently went out of date last month so it's in the bin now


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[eleena2014]

Oh that's a shame

[eleena2014]

Sorry I meant fibre supplement. I put OLE first then edited it to fibre.I forgot I Got OLE today I need some fibre supplements.

[motherofboys]

Oh I see. I must have read as you were editing. Never mind then


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[Mulberry Smurf]

Would these work:

Life Plan Fibre Tablets - 100 tablets - Boots (http://www.boots.com/en/Life-Plan-Fibre-Tablets-100-tablets_954430/)

xx

[eleena2014]

Atomic would these be Ok? Mulberry smurf. Thanks so much for the link. If atomic confirms there Ok I will get those.Thanks :D

[Mulberry Smurf]

Hopefully atomic will reply :) maybe send her a pm if you dont hear in a couple of days? xx

[eleena2014]

Mmm not sure now.just read the reviews e.t.c. on amazon and there apparently for weight loss and to make u feel Fuller during meal time. I just wanted extra fibre to stop me getting constipated

[Mulberry Smurf]

if they help you lose weight would that not be a good thing for a pink sway? xx

[foxymrsg]

I've seen chitosan mentioned on here a few times. They sell it on amazon for about £11 I think. That's the one I'm planning on using when I start my sway

[eleena2014]

Bump

[motherofboys]

Hi everyone, how are you all doing?

[Sweet mummy]

Hi Mob! Just saying hi back :) Can't believe it is the 1st March already...was just Christmas!!!

[Sweet mummy]

Hi MOB - your inbox is full xx

[motherofboys]

Haha I'll go clear it out lol
New series of one born tomorrow!

[foxymrsg]

Hi MOB how are you!?! Omg i am so looking forward to OBEM tomorrow!! Will need to try and keep my broodiness in check though! lol

[motherofboys]

Me too! I'm waiting to start the pill so all over the place. I thought I was going to be starting it today as I had spotting and cramps yesterday but nothing today so far. I can't help but hope at times that a little girly will just appear in there 'by accident' so it's taken out of my hands and I don't have to wait lol how are you doing?

[foxymrsg]

Lol yes I know what you mean! To just fall pregnant and it be a girl and all the stress and worry of trying is taken out of our control! That would be lovely! Sooo glad you're back! When are thinking of trying? I hadn't given bc pills a thought.....mmm wonder if I should for swaying? I'm going to purchase a personalised plan over the next couple of days with my birthday money so I'll ask atomic then. I don't think well start trying till early next year but need to get the plan while I have the money and then hoping I'll be so used to dote and exercise it'll just be the norm for me by then. Omg I'm sooo into meat at the moment though, I can't get enough if steaks! So eating a few at the moment to satisfy my urges now as won't be eating that much meat for awhile! Lol!
Ah I'm so delighted to see you back!

[motherofboys]

Well I took my first pill this morning. I'm hoping to maybe start the diet and exercise in the summer, probably July and then stop the pill in September/October time. Of course things can change between then and now. I've been so bad eating. I figure I might as well eat what I want now while I can.

[hopper]

Hi ladies, I've been awol for a long time. I found myself getting a little obsessed so took a step back. We have had to push ttc #3 back several times now but hoping that talking to women in the same mindframe as me will help how I'm feeling. I bought a personalised plan when I first joined but my subscription expired. Any idea how I can access that info again or would I need to buy a new sway plan when we plan on TTC? Had a dream last night I was pg with a baby girl, couldn't help waking up disappointed :(

[foxymrsg]

Bless you! Welcome back! Not sure on personlised plan but I'm sure if you DM NBP or AS they'll help you. I am going to purchse my plan in the next couple of days I am so excited and looking forward to getting started! We won't TTC until early next year but it gives me time to get into the groove!
MOB I am the same eating what I love! I have noticed though that since I have been on this website and started the diet last time I have stopped snacking so hoping that will help. I also drink more wine too! But that could be due to having 2 kids not the website! lol! No but seriously I never used to drink at home but now I enjoy a glass of wine once the kids are in bed, not every night but probably averaging every other night! I'm hoping that'll help my sway when the time comes!

[True Blue]

Hi hopper welcome back and good luck with your sway :) I hope it all goes to plan for you this time.
Your personalized plan is yours to keep :) you lose your swaying support after 6 months but can purchase another 6 months if you would like to.
If you pm nuthinbutpink she will be able to help you find your personalized plan :)

[hopper]

Thanks ladies. I figured out the renewal for the support eventually lol. I will definitely buy it closer to sway time. Have spent the whole evening looking at posts on TTC pink and consulting due date calculators to see if we could manage to TTC sooner than anticipated. We are in the process of buying a house and its taking over every spare cent plus I have been asked to be maid of honour at my best friends wedding next September (2016) and with this much notice I could hardly be heavily pregnant at her wedding. I can feel the obsession begin again lol. It is just crazy that complete and utter broodiness can take over so easily.
Note to self - block access to Chinese gender predictors and due date calculators!! Haha.

[motherofboys]

all my pregnant friends are due their girls over the next few weeks. and another has announced shes pregnant with number 5 after 4 boys. its going to be a girl i just know it. I had to delete the ones i don't know that well from facebook. but one is my oldest friend she was posting about where to have baby today, and the other is ds3s friends mum and she was posting pics of the freshly decorated nursery today. I am so so jealous and heart broken. I've never been able to do a nursery let alone a pink one. we lived with MIL when ds1 was born and then moved to this house, where we are not allowed to paint the walls they are all white wood chip paper, and can't decorate anything so never been able to prepare anything like that.
i went to asda yesterday all the girls clothes and baby girls everywhere put me in an awful mood for the rest of the day and the whole of today.

[foxymrsg]

Aw hun i feel it so much for you. It hurst so much seeing everyone else getting what they desire! I think you've done the right thing by deleting off not so close people as you need to focus on yourself and your feelings. Someone I know is due soon with their DD and it's so hard seeing all the pics of beautiful clothes etc. Think of it this way if your friend does have a DD after 4 DS's that doesn't lessen your chace of getting her, in fact if anything it just proves it can absolutley happen for you as well! Especially with this wonderful website! Thank goodness we have this place to come and vent too! ((((hugs))))

[motherofboys]

it makes me feel like the odds are against me, we can't both get girls after 4 boys. i don't feel so bad when its people on places like this, but people who haven't even swayed just makes me feel rubbish.
The big 3 boys had a massive fight tonight. They have been bickering endlessly all week from the moment they get up to walking into their classes at school then as soon as they come out of school to the minute they are asleep. They haven't been able to be in a room alone together, theres had to be one of us there or they've started arguing or winding each other up and that. And tonight it just came to a head. Its been a long long time since any of them had a proper fight with each other. The odd hit now and then but not like that. I feel utterly hopeless right now, about everything. And GD is just another thing thats making it all seem worse.
Sorry, theres very little places where I can vent this kind of stuff.
How are you doing anyway?

[foxymrsg]

That's what we are here for for you to vent as much as you need! I think it is so hard with the kids as they do get wound up, especially this time of year they are starting to get tired and ready for their 2 week Easter break! Know what you mean about people not swaying, why do they get it so easy and yet here we are having to struggle to get what we want. I think FB is the worst place as really makes you feel worse! I keep seeing everyone getting the DG they want and then getting it move house so easily! Right now the house move is proving to be nothing but a pain in the backside and causing us nothing but stress. Why do others just order their beautiful house and their pigeon pair and get it!?!? I'm feeling it with you today 100%!! :(

[motherofboys]

it does seem so unfair. i'm still waiting to move. i'm admin on a mummy group on facebook and i've nearly given up a couple of times because i just can not take it when people have girls, or even post scan pics and people guess girl (with no nub) or people say "i bet its a girl if you're being that sick" and i want to scream.

[hopper]

Oh mob I hope you are ok. I completely get what you mean about FB, it drives me nuts. A friend PMed me randomly on FB during the week to tell me she is having her first girl in June. I logged off the minute I saw it, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back :( I can't help how I feel at the minute but I hate feeling this way. Ttc can't come fast enough but on the other hand I am 100% terrified to sway and not get my DG. Of course I will love a third son if that is what's meant to be but I couldn't go on feeling like this forever and almost begrudging others their happiness! It's not who I am at all!!!

[motherofboys]

It's not usually who I am either and I'm so scared that I will always feel this way. I think I'm suffering with depression again and I don't know whether my GD has got worse because I'm feeling like this, or if the GD has caused it to return.
Truth be told I want to delete everyone who has a daughter, but I can't just delete them all from my life so I have to suck it up and deal with it.
Everyone says one day we will have granddaughters but it isn't the same. I see so many women moaning about their mother in laws (even the ones they actually love dearly) getting on their nerves by wanting to do too much with the grandkids, wanting to do their hair and buying them cloths that they think are ugly.

[foxymrsg]

Ah ladies I hear you, I am the same just hate feeling these feeling towards others and wondering how they get what we want so easily!
I'm scared about my sway too, I've purchased a personalised plan to help but know it's obviously not a guarantee, In my heart of hearts I know I'll be fine with a third boy,.....it's other peoples opinions and snidey comments that im dreading! Whatever the gender tbh and far too many people have an opinion on how out should live your life! It just gets me down you know!

[motherofboys]

I know what you mean, other people cant just not comment on your family make up and anything to do with your life really. People just don't think, which is stupid because they obviously assume that you must want a girl but then make upsetting comments about not having a girl and don't think you'll be upset. Mental

[hopper]

Oh the comments are the worst!!! I was grocery shopping earlier, DH with me and DS2 Sat in the trolley (DS1 was at Montessori) and the checkout girl asked me how old DS2 was. I said almost 14 months and she said she has a little girl at home who is almost 18 months but not as chatty as my little man. I jokingly said that DS2 is a right character and always chatting and trying to annoy me and she said "oh yeah, that's boys for you! I was so glad when I found out I was having a girl!" Then she says "Oh and you have 2 boys is it? Oh God I'd say the only way you'd go again would be if you were guaranteed a girl!" Seriously?!?!?!?! A random checkout girl says all this to me just when I am at my lowest longing for a daughter. Thanks for that, I have been in terrible form all night!!

[foxymrsg]

What an awful awful thing to say!! I know people don't think but sometimes I think they know what they are saying! My ex manager sat there last year and proceeded to say to everyone how boys are horrible and smelly and not as wonderful as her princess daughter! Needless to say I didn't sit and listen to that and went to town on her! My collegues backed me lucky enough and as one has all girls and would have loved a DS backed me all the way telling her how smelly girls can be too! lol!
She deliberately said it to get my back up but i think she was surprised when I retaliated! lol

[hopper]

I think I was just shocked hence why I didn't say much at all. I don't get all this "boy hating" that goes on, for some reason I think girls are the more desired gender in my area. I wouldn't trade my boys for ANYTHING, some people just need to learn to have respect!!

[motherofboys]

Urgh I've had someone tell me out right that society values girls more because girls are straight up more worthy. That men are only needed for sperm and can then move on but women are needed to carry the child and nurture it until it's old enough to look after itself. That's why people 'don't cars' about letting their boys go out to play by themselves and worry less about their boys. Because they are not as valuable, then said "that's not to say anyone's boys are worthless" erm actually yeah that is what you said, you basically just told me boys are second class citizens and not as good as girls. Of course she only has 1 daughter.
I also sat at a table with 3 women, all of whom had 1 daughter each, and they all told me how glad they were they got a girl first because the second ones (when they eventually have them) gender didn't matter now they had their girls. If they had had a boy first they would have been desperate for a girl second. Like they don't care if they ever have a boy.
But I know that people with all girls get it back about how they must want a boy.
I'm finally watching the first 2 episodes of this series one born and probably wasn't a good idea lol

[foxymrsg]

Lol obem will just make you soooo much more broody lol! I need to watch tonight's yet!
Omg that's a horrible thing for that woman to say!! Honestly I feel it too it's like having boys is doing something wrong! I idolise my boys and same as you both would never trade them! It's how people perceive boys that help cause GD I think! Wish people would keep minds open and mouths shut!!!

[motherofboys]

Well one born certainly didn't help me lol I didn't see tonight's though. They seem to have decided to put everything I want to watch on at the same time on Monday and Tuesday nights and left the rest of the week empty lol I'll probably watch it on 4OD tomorrow.
I agree, mind open mouth shut. I know one thing though, I try to be so much more careful with my words now. And IF I ever did have a girl I would be very conscious not to over do the Facebook pink. I'm thinking of deleting another person because all she does is talk about how naughty and horrible her 2 boys are and how perfect her daughter is.


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[foxymrsg]

OMG no way! I always honestly think, no know I'd never feel any different about my boys if I had a dd how must her poor boys feel? Breaks my heart! :(

[motherofboys]

I deleted her. She's one of those who posts every five minutes anyway and I remember before her daughter she really wanted a girl but then after she got her when I tried to talk about wanting a girl all I got was "it doesn't matter as long as they are healthy" well yeah that's what we want over anything else but doesn't stop us wanting a girl. Honestly at Christmas one of her boys found 1 of his brothers presents and she was ranting on facebook that he was a little shit who ruined everything, he daughter finds all her presents and it's 'so cute'. She moaned how hard boys are to buy for, not when you have boys and know what your boys like, only difficulty I've had is the cross over between wanting toys and not wanting toys. I looked at ds1s presents and thought they all looked so boring because he is into books, but fact books rather than stories. And ds2 just kept asking for "toblerone and surprises" lol her boys are still just either side of ds3s age where they are really into toys and it's so much fun buying for them.


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[foxymrsg]

Absolutely right she should know what her boys are into and she would know if she invested any time in them! Oh how sad her poor boys! Seeing things like that really make my heart hurt!!

[motherofboys]

I understand wanting a girl, and I understand being disappointed when you first hear boy, and even when you've got them in your arms loving them so much but still longing for a girl. But I don't understand thinking they are bad or not good enough just because of their gender.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

Totally agree mob. It's heartbreaking to think how those boys will grow up thinking they are unloved and not wanted. I feel more protective of my boys and tell them how much I love them all the time. I've always embraced making them happy and buying them things I know they will love. It's my job and I love it. My GD was always separate to my sons, it was my issue, not their failure. We are open about our joy at having a girl for all of us, and they Adore her, she is the baby after all. I want them to grow up being protective of her and they are so far, they were even before she was born especially my eldest! As we are older parents 39&40) I especially want them to look out for their little brother and sister, one day they will need their big brothers to be there for them. I certainly don't want my sons resenting "the princess", and I'll work hard to ensure they understand yes we wanted a daughter, as well as them not instead of, as they are all my heart, always xx


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[motherofboys]

We've been offered a house! John isn't over the moon about the area and I think he'll still be able to moan about parking (he was hoping for a drive lol) but he has agreed to at least view it


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[foxymrsg]

Fantastic news MOB!! So pleased for you! I hope you both like it!!

Mrs Incredible I couldn't have put that better if I tried!! I openly discuss my desire for a girl with my mum, she totally gets it, 3girls before my brother. She so supportive and we often say how if I have a daughter it will be as well as not instead of my boys! My boys are my world and they light up my life and I know everyone else here feels the same! GD is awful but you're right it's completely separate to our children we have, they have done no wrong they just are the miracles they are!

[Mrs_Incredible]

Good luck viewing the house mob! Foxymrsg, my mum had gd but got the girls she wanted. After i had ds1 she was head over heels in love with him like i was (she now knows how wrong she was about boys!!) She still calls him "my j" and adores him and his brothers. Even tho she loves her grandsons sooo much she really understood my desire for a daughter despite it looking for a long time as if my sister couldn't have children. She never cast that up, she could easily have told me to be grateful even tho she knew i was. I cried down the phone after my gender scan with ds3, i was heartbroken (he is still our baby and he is just perfect) My 3 boys are loved for being themselves, as will dd. Ds2 is also a great kid, he was a hilarious toddler who entertained us so much, and at 8 he is still entertaining us with his imagination :) I'm glad i had that support and wasn't criticised or made to feel ungrateful or ashamed. These forums helped me realise my feelings were normal and opened up to those close to me, she knew we swayed for ds3, and recently i told her what i think swayed for dd and her own 2 daughters!. Its a shame irl "babies are a blessing/as long as it's healthy" is the standard response. Erm, yeh ... But .. Xx

[motherofboys]

Just got back from a weekend with friends and first thing john says is "I drove down that road on the way home" and starts going on about the undesirables that live round there. So I said fine we can just live here forever! He hasn't mentioned it again. Yes it's not as nice an area as this one but its a bigger house and surely we can keep looking once we are in there. If we turn it down we will go to the bottom of the list and it'll be she's before we are offered anything again


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[foxymrsg]

Oh mob what a crap situation! It just makes it so much less fun, the way I see it is when you're indoors and your door is shut you don't see what's going on outside! Every area has it's 'dodgy' places but sometimes they sound or look worse then they really are! Hope he comes round to at least viewing it! Once you're in there you may be able to do a swap with someone I know loads of people who have done that as someone may have family in that area and want to move back are in a big house and so they won't move them they have to wait for a swap! You never know!

Ah mrs incredible it really does make a difference having a mum who understands! I feel for my sister as she has 3 girls and I know would have loved a boy but we never discuss it. It's hard to be the one to start the subject you know? Yes it's so amazing looking at my mums past diet and how she got her girls.....she certainly didn't get us by douching! Lol! She did have a lot of calcium with us and not my brother but I don't think that was what swayed it well not the calcium I think she probably had low overall calories and most of them were made up with milk etc so she was still on LE in a way if that makes sense? Lol

[motherofboys]

He drove me round there this morning telling me horror stories of the area and basically thinks it's better to go to the bottom of the list and be stuck here longer in a nicer area but uncomfortable than be stuck in a not so nice area but comfortable while we waited to move again. He seems to have his mind made up. If we go to the bottom of the list now I can't see us moving in time to have another baby


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[motherofboys]

He has phoned and told them we don't want to view, that it was advertised as the wrong area and we are not interested in the area. It didn't matter what I said he wasn't budging so I said it was a waste of time him missing work and us viewing knowing that we wasn't going to accept it. It would just make me sadder to walk round in there thinking what could be and knowing it wouldn't


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[foxymrsg]

Oh Hun, hopefully because you've not viewed it it won't go against you? They've advertised it as the wrong area so not fair they want to put you at the bottom of the list!

[motherofboys]

I honestly don't think he will ever get what he is hoping for house wise. I almost told him that I was going and it was up to him whether he came with us or not because I don't believe he wouldn't choose to come with us. But then anything that goes wrong will all be my fault.
We only planned to be here 6 months, that was 8 years ago next week. 5 years ago I was desperate to move and yet we are still here, he kept saying to renew the contract one more time, that it wasn't the right time to move and it would do for a while longer.
I came home from a weekend away to him in a terrible mood, since he phoned and said we are not interested he is suddenly in a really good mood. I don't think we will ever move, there will always be a problem with something to do with any potential houses.

[foxymrsg]

Oh no does he have a sentimental attachment to the house? I know it sounds funny but my dads like that my mum is desperate to move but my dad keeps dragging his heels because the house is a carbon copy of the one he grew up in so ge feels emotionally attached to it!

[motherofboys]

Well three of the boys were born here but I think that's more of a woman's sentimentality. He is just a snob about the areas. We joined the list in April, but I didn't bid on anything for over 6 months because he didn't like any of the areas. I think he is holding out for this idea of what he wants, which unfortunately is as likely to come up on a council housing list as we are to win the lottery.


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[foxymrsg]

Yes my dad's not sentimental about us being born in house but his childhood! Strange man my dad can be though lol!
Ah it's soo frustrating waiting for a house I feel your pain too. We've sold but struggling to find anywhere to buy and all of life's plans are ok hold until then. It just frustrates me that some people get things so easily and were still at square 1! I don't get why that is sometimes!

[motherofboys]

I was starting to plan and get excited about the prospect of being settled before ttc, but now our status has gone from a number to 'not prioritised' so I think ttc will be delayed even longer.


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[foxymrsg]

Oh no! :( that's such a shame that you're now not prioritised! Oh that's so rubbish!! :(

[motherofboys]

It sucks, big time. But nothing I can do about it now. I just hope it doesn't take too long to work back up the list. I've been so angry with him but it's not helping anyone, I swear he better not moan about this house again though.


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[foxymrsg]

Yes you're right being angry doesn't help and it's good to keep calm and not be stressed, just in case there's an oops baby, you don't want high testosterone levels lol! Yeah don't blame you though bet he knows to tread on egg shells about the house now though lol

[motherofboys]

There's not a chance of that, it must be the pill but I just don't feel like doing that at all right now. That's how it stops you getting pregnant lmao


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[foxymrsg]

LOL! He must be feeling punished that way then lol

[motherofboys]

Probably, that isn't what it is, but it might feel that way lol still I bet he'd rather go without that than have me storming about the house in a bad mood all day, every day.


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[foxymrsg]

Lol! Men unfortunately can be very hard work some days!! :( as much as we love them

[motherofboys]

They are definitely from Mars lol


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[eleena2014]

Please can someone from the UK Send me a link or advise me where to get a load of cheap but good opks please

[Mrs_Incredible]

I bought bulk on ebay for the little strip ones, 30 at a time with strip some pg tests too ss i was a total poas addict :)

[eleena2014]

The wondfo ones? Are they good? Also where do u get the containers from to pee in??

[Mrs_Incredible]

30 OVULATION/FERTILITY TESTS + 5 ULTRA EARLY 10mIU PREGNANCY URINE TESTING KITS | eBay (http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/270957784832?nav=SEARCH)
I used these 2-3 times a day. I just bought plastic party cups to pee in. Good luck. I miss poas lol x

[eleena2014]

Thank you

[motherofboys]

I miss POAS.
Day 1 of the easter holidays and I'm asking myself why I want another baby at all lol
I went to hang some washing out and someone let ds4 through the baby gate so he appeared behind me in the garden splashing in a bucket of dirty water. And ds3 has had at least 4 melt downs.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

I've got 1 hour 20 mind before Easter holidays! First one with 4 kids. House is a tip. Been a busy week. I'm so tired too. I foresee a frazzled mama within the first few days! Xx

[motherofboys]

Ds4 has got to the stage where he wants me to do stuff or get him things but can't actually tell me, so he just keeps climbing in me and pushing my shoulder and pointing. 90% of the time the thing I work out he wants is something he can't have.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

My 3yo is bug enough to get most of the things he's not allowed but i can tell his guilty stance a mile off lol x

[motherofboys]

I don't know why they think they can get away with things, ds2 you only have to say "look at me" and he can't do it without laughing if he has done something wrong or is lying.


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[motherofboys]

I'm waiting for a lady to come and value the house for the landlord and ds4 wants to go out, he just keeps saying "shoes" and pointing at the door then getting annoyed because I won't take him out.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

How did the valuation go? I now know how my mum used to catch me out, i have as good a poker face as my kids do!! It used to amaze me how she could tell i was hiding something... Even in my late teens/early 20's lol! X

[motherofboys]

It was over quickly, thankfully. Just awkward as she had to measure every room.


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[motherofboys]

Another facebook friend just found out she's having a girl after 4 boys. Can I really delete yet another person because it's just too painful to see her 80+ congratulations messages?


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[motherofboys]

Crap, one of the people I deleted who's due a girl after 3 boys just friend requested me again.


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[foxymrsg]

Oh crap awkward! Will you accept her? If you do and she questions it just say one of the kids was playing with your phone and has probably deleted her by mistake!! ��
Were on Easter hols too and it's already been a long day today, should be a nice Easter but everything with house move is just going tits up and I'm just so sick and tired of others clicking their fingers and everything in their perfect little lives falling into place. Today is not a good day ��

[motherofboys]

I don't know, I haven't accepted or denied it yet. I'm not sure if I can take it, but is it just pathetic to cut people out because they got what I want?
Ds3 is unbearable at the moment. He is naughty from the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep. I just ended up shouting at him really loudly because he wouldn't stop making ds4 scream and he laughed at me and asked me to do it again!! Everyone else seems to get what they want out of life, even if it takes a while, they eventually get the nice house, or the baby girl, or the career they want or whatever. I won't get a nice house, because we will never be able to afford anything nice, it'll be bigger but won't be what most would call nice, if we ever move. I don't see us having another baby at all now so no girl for me.


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[motherofboys]

If past lives are a real thing I must have been really awful in my last one. I mean I haven't asked for a lot from life, just enough to get by, and for my babies to be safe and healthy, and all I wanted was 1 healthy baby girl of my own and I don't even deserve that.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

Hugs mob xx

[motherofboys]

Thanks


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[foxymrsg]

Ah hun sending you massive hugs too, it's so unbelievably hard but they are justified, everyone is entitled to their feelings!
Ds1 is being a real challenge to me too if that makes you feel any better, I too have to shout and he just smirks in my face, makes me want to cry. He's a lot worse when step ds is here too it's like he gets middle child syndrome! DH doesn't help as he yells at ds1 even for step ds naughtiness. It's a massive bone of contention in out marriage, so bloody hard.

[foxymrsg]

Oh and DH threw in my face today that I'm just miserable today and is the hell would I cope with another baby as I'm so tired today due to broken nights sleep last night with ds2, which is a rarity. Not that he'd fooking know he never got up with him as a baby and didn't last night either funny enough! He's just pissing me off so much right now lol

[motherofboys]

I just feel like everything I've been through and the large percentage of my life I've spent depressed I ask for 1 thing and can't even bloody have that. Is a daughter really that much to ask for? Yet I feel stupid for it mattering. Ds3 is hard work at the best of times but he just seems out to wind me up. Dh told him a week ago that if he gets so many ticks on the calendar he can go to toys r us and spend the money he had for his birthday last month. Even an incentive like that isn't enough to get him to listen.
The only time Dh ever mentions anything to do with babies is to mention all the stuff he needs to get rid of from the loft (countless prams, a few car seats, stuff like that) and if he mentions girls it's always to point out some kind of lucky escape, like school text to say nits we're going around and he said about what a nightmare it would be trying to treat a girls hair. Because that's enough to put me off, obviously.
I feel like he can't possibly understand because he has his boys and can do all those boys things, and it's not that I don't enjoy those things too, but I want to do other things too, things they have no interest in. How would he feel if he had 4 daughters and desperately wanted a son but I just kept saying "well thank god we don't have to stand in the rain watching a boy play football matches!" He enjoys that, just the same as I would enjoy doing some of the things he seems to think are a blessing to have escaped. And yet I know he wants a girl too. Ever since I was pregnant with ds1 he kept saying 'she' with every one of them and refused to believe they might possibly have been a boy until he saw the proof on the the screen at the scan.


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[motherofboys]

Oh and I deleted the facebook app on my phone, don't know how long I'll be able to stay away but I'm rarely on the laptop so hopefully won't see too much or have to deal with it all. 1 of the many pink bumps is now a week over due so any day now there's going to be pictures. I feel horrible that I can't just be happy for those people. But honestly the way she goes on about not believing the sonographer and asking them to double and triple check if was a girl at every one of her scans. She only has 1 son so it's not like if someone with a whole bunch of boys suddenly got told it was a girl


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[foxymrsg]

Your DH sounds exactly like mine! Like he thinks if he points out any thing that may be remotely hard with a girl that I'll just move on! We had a talk last night and he's adamant he doesn't want anymore kids but feels that he should for me I suppose, he kept saying how we won't be able to do nice things for even longer! I wouldn't mind but I am at college to give us all a better future so he kind of loses that argument! Oh and he goes on about the sleepless nights, he didn't do any with ds2! So again he can't argue.
Know how you feel I think deleting the FB app may be good for a while especially as you know someone is due soon. If needs be you can just hide any posts from her! It's not blocking her it just wont show on your newsfeed!

[motherofboys]

It's awkward, I know about 3 people due this month with girls after boys, one is one of my oldest friends and I'm hoping she doesn't text me and just announces on Facebook and when I'm ready I'll find out. Another (the one over due) her son is friends with ds3 and he wants her son to come and play at our house in the holidays so I do really need to contact her but just can't. The other I unfriended but she is still part of a larger group I'm on so even though I won't see all the updates I will see when she has the baby.
Dh hasn't said anything, at all, still. I've not mentioned babies or little girls again, but I'm just struggling in general and he hasn't even asked if I'm ok. I think he's afraid of what my answer might be.
I can understand wanting to do nicer things and I am really looking forward to the next stage of parenting when we can do things with out carting a load of nappies everywhere and worrying about naps and sleepless nights and wiping butts. But I just can't let the idea go. I was torturing myself yesterday thinking if I took out a loan or started playing the lottery and won then maybe I could go high tech, but according to the site I looked at Id have to be out of the country for 10-12 days and dh would have to join me for 2 days. What do we do with the boys in that time? No one would help out, especially if they knew we wanted another baby.


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[foxymrsg]

I wonder why we just seem to struggle of a sudden! Watched obem today and one lady got a dd after a ds and I got a little Pang of jealousy! No idea where they all of a sudden come from!
I've been is bad recently I've not been on diet at all, in fact I'm worse than ever! I'm scoffing meat like it's going out of fashion. Maybe I'm psyching up to swaying but I don't know I feel so low at the moment, what with this DH keep changing his mins bad the house move taking forever I'm just so fed up! At least we're not alone I suppose!
I often think of ht if I could afford it and get out of the country for that long I'd do it and not tell anyone just let them think it's a holiday, but we'd never be able to afford it unfortunately

[motherofboys]

I looked, for a loan for 1 round, plus getting out there and and staying etc I'd be paying almost £300 for 10 years. And that's if it worked first go. There's no way that would be do able. Lottery win it is then lol
I considered making out it was just a holiday, but even if we all went I wasn't sure how it worked, like if we'd both need to be at the clinic at the same time, it's not that sort of thing you can take them along too. And even with a holiday cover story we wouldn't get anyone to look after the boys while we went alone.
I've not watched the last episode, possibly the last 2.
The only diet I've ever been on was when I briefly started the LE diet last summer. Other than that I've never dieted, and ATM I'm just as bad, pigging out constantly. Definitely not girl friendly. Mind you all the people I know getting their girls reckon they didn't do anything different. It just seems like an unbelievable amount of people outside of the world of gender desire forums are getting those girls. I'm not saying that I don't think that it's worth swaying I just mean that at the moment it's really disheartening to see them all get it so easily while we are here going crazy over it


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[motherofboys]

Deleting the Facebook app didn't work out as well as I thought. Walking up to the park we passed one of the houses and the little boy was just going in with a big bunch of flowers shouting "nate nate my mum had the baby, it's out already nate! She's called annalie" so of course when I got home I logged on via the browser and looked at her pictures because I'm cruel to myself like that. Dh doesn't seem to get that it hurts seeing others with what I want. When I told him and showed him he seemed pleased for them and aww'd at the baby.


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[fiveboys]

have anyone else bought clothes for their prefered gender..im terrible for the past two years I pick up pretty dresses then think how stupid im being and give them to who ever is next to have a little girl in my family.. im not buying anymore but ive kept 3 and im determined these are going to be for my baby girl one day..im trying to keep positive because im worried the depression will spiral out of control. thank goodness my two youngest are keeping me busy in the easter holidays. I hope we all get our daughter/sons one day xxx

[motherofboys]

I can't do it, I can't buy something knowing I may never get to use it. I know this might sound stupid but when I was first pregnant with ds1 dh was convinced he'd be a girl and he talked me into buying a little sylvanian (sp) families set that was Christmas themed in the sales. I had told him I always wanted them as a child but was never allowed them. I told him at the time he had just jinxed us and that baby would be a boy but I never realised that they ALL would be boys!



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[foxymrsg]

I know what you I see loads of people getting their DG without doing all the stuff. We do makes it all the harder, wonder if small things change in them though to make it? I don't know it's just bit fair sometimes! :(
Sorry you didn't get away from the dreaded news either just when you're trying to avoid it as well!
I don't buy bits but just in case I never get to use them it worries me, however both times I was pregnant I stayed team green so bought a boys and girls outfit ive still got the girls oitfit from ds2 just in case......one day hopefully

[motherofboys]

Last time I kept wondering if I should buy boys stuff to jinx it in the other way and end up with a girl and a load of boys things I couldn't use lol


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[foxymrsg]

If only it worked that way....

[motherofboys]

I know, right? I mean I already had enough boys stuff to jinx it if it worked that way. I think I'm going mad, today I feel better than the last few days, more positive and less like it matters, but at the same time I'm thinking "what's 10 years of debt if I get a daughter out of it?" Which is just ridiculous. But if ever I discover I have a rich aunt I never knew about who leaves me a decent amount of money I will be seriously considering it. I noticed that the sites say gender selection is illegal except for medical reasons. I wonder if they would class depression as a medical reason, I mean they'll do boob jobs on the nhs because of the woman being depressed and having low self esteem. I'm just "thinking out loud" I know it's not something that would happen, but that's wishful thinking for you.


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[motherofboys]

I hate GD. I'll be going about my business quite happily and then something so simple sends me crashing down. And the worst part is what if I never get a girl? What if this is it for me? Pro do have more and they are all boys? I know I'll love them and I'll be even more protective over all boy families, but I'll still have this feeling!


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[motherofboys]

so i went back to facebook,the profile picture next to the friend request I was avoiding has changed from her and her son, to a picture of a baby girl. I'm trying to come up with ways to make a quick £15k but sadly I don't think even selling my body would work (after 4 kids I'd probably have to pay them! - I should add I'm joking) I am becoming so bitter! I don't like this new version of me, but while people keep getting daughters and I don't I can't see it changing.

[Mulberry Smurf]

Hugs :( I am in the same boat, my two boys are my absolute world but my heart aches for a baby girl. I hope and pray we all get our dream xx

[foxymrsg]

I know what you mean totally why can't we just wave our magic wands and get what we want? It scares me feeling this way forever if I never get a daughter but I'm hoping if we ever have another baby (dh being bit of a dick tbh) then I hope I'll be able to make my peace in knowing that if it's another boy we done all we could to try for our dd.

[motherofboys]

I'm hoping we do get to follow the plan and try again and I can say the same.
I know people say one day we will have granddaughters but when I look at my family and DH family and how often they see their grandkids and how involved they are if does make me feel like it won't be the same. I can't help feel that there will always be that 'what if'


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[Mrs_Incredible]

The "what if" spurred me on to ttc#4. Even tho a part of me knew the GD would be horrible i knew the "what if" of not having a 4th would be just as bad if not worse. I truly believed i would have a boy. I'm not sure how i would have coped initially but at least I would have felt better having tried ... I think. I know i would have loved boy #4 but i know how much hurt i would have had to carry too. Hugs xx

[motherofboys]

I didn't find this place until I was already pregnant with ds4 and although now I wouldn't change him, if I had known this site existed I could have swayed and if he was still him then that would have been that. But I feel like I need to try, I need to know I gave it my best shot.


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[foxymrsg]

I'm with you mob I didn't find this site until I was pregnant with ds2 and tbh (sorry atomic) it was a cursory glance as I was pretty IG brainwashed by then and so sure my cup of cranberry juice a day with my 4 day cut off defo meant I was carrying a dd! Lol!
After I had ds2 a friend who has 2 girls showed me this website properly after getting her much wished for ds! I've been on here ever since!! I do wished id found this site sooner but also wonder if if have ds2 if I had!
At least with having found this site I've more or less managed to convince dh to go for one more. At least in my heart of hearts I'll know I've given it my all and I hope I can move on from that even if it may take a little time

[Mrs_Incredible]

Ds3 is an IG opposite. My longest ttc journey by a mile. Dh went along with ig swaying for me, but thought the 7 factors were a bit bogus. I wanted to believe. The monkeys finally took over around the time I had him. I briefly went on plumlily to catch up with some of my ig friends. Life with 2 kids and a colicy baby meant I couldn't get on much. Luckily one of my friends told me they'd moved here. The fact that atomics sway plan made more logical sense helped me convince dh to even up the numbers. Not sure he believes dd was anything other than luck, I disagree! Although I sucked at diet for swaying, the blighted ovum pg did that part for me as i felt ill a week after conception, one attempt, being a lot less Martha thanks to therapy (not for swaying), 1 attempt month after MC, being "older" mum ... X


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[motherofboys]

i guess we can't be too sad about not finding it sooner because we wouldn't trade our DS's but it would be nice to have a girl too.

[Mrs_Incredible]

Ds3 stole my heart in an extra special way, after my gd, he just felt so perfect for us, and I'm so glad I dealt with gd before his birth as i enjoyed him to the max 💙 x

[foxymrsg]

Finally some gorgeous weather! Still having a nightmare with the house move so can't see us swaying anytime in the near future or ever the way I feel at the moment, so sick of just waiting waiting waiting for people to make decisions based on their pure greed! :(

[motherofboys]

Hugs. I know the feeling just having to wait for someone else to decide something that will affect whether you can move. Although our situations are a bit different they are both out of our control. I almost want to say just forget it, we will try anyway and then when sonewhere comes along we will move pregnant or with 5 kids. But if we have another here then that will raise the number of bedrooms we need and limit our options further. It's so rare to have more than 3 beds come up, and then it's usually 3 bed with a dining room that can be used as a 4th.
Can't remember if I said, I accepted that friend request from the person I unfriended and then just hid her from my wall so I don't have to see.
I'm a horrible person, I should be happy for her, she had 3 boys (2 of which don't live with her) and she told me after her 3rd that she'd have loved to have a girl but had such awful pregnancies she couldn't do it again and would maybe adopt one day. Then a couple of weeks later she was pregnant and it was a girl. I shouldn't hate that she got a girl, but I do.
The weather is lovely, so warm! I've done tons of washing lol


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[foxymrsg]

Lol I'm up to date with my washing too! Lol long may this weather last!
Oh I know it's the complete helplessness feeling, we are boy mums after all were used to being the ones in control lol we can't handle someone else having our fate in their hands!
Oh I so know what you mean you want to be happy for her but you can't help your emotions! Why do they get what we want seemingly so easy. I think it'd be easier to handle if atleast the housing situation for us both was going smoother.
Maybe you should just go for another it won't affect what house they give you, in fact they may increase the urgency! Either way you're sure to get a house bigger than you're in now! Hate the fact we're both in the same situation but glad I have someone to feel crappy with lol

[motherofboys]

It's nice knowing other people understand isn't it?
I was out with ds2 today and text dh saying do you think we will ever have another baby? And he replied "what the babies?!" And I said yeah babies. And when he didn't reply I text again saying we could try to make a girl one and he still didn't reply.


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[foxymrsg]

Why do men avoid this subject? Did you have a talk tonight in the end?

[motherofboys]

Nope. I thought maybe he'd wait till they were in bed and bring it up but he didn't.


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[motherofboys]

I wasn't even asking for right away, I was asking if he thought we'd EVER have another


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[motherofboys]

Well, I brought up HT. I said if I can come up with a get rich quick scheme to make £15000 so we can guarantee its a girl, then can I have another baby. He said "yeah ok, write some more" (I've written a couple of, quite frankly not that great books) I said I'd never make that amount that way, and knowing my luck I wouldn't get pregnant first time and I'd just feel selfish for spending that much money on something I want. No one else cares or wants one so I should just forget about it. Waiting to hear what he has to say about that. Probably nothing. I just couldn't wait any longer, I was going to burst if I didn't say something to him there was no way I would have made it to when they were all asleep tonight.


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[foxymrsg]

Has he said anything? Sometimes it just feels like the elephant in the room, it's all I think about sometimes and yet u know it doesn't cross his mind at all!

[motherofboys]

No. I text him again and said I was sorry but I had tried to move on and I couldn't, there are reminders everywhere about what I don't get to do and I wish it didn't matter so much but it does. Again, nothing. Then last night we heard that his dad's condition has got worse so I felt like a cow to bring it up then.
But this morning he was going on about ds2s football team and I felt again like he just doesn't get it. I wanted to say I hate football now, I used to like it but now it's this big thing that just reminds me of all the things he gets with sons that I don't get with daughters. I wanted shout at him and say what if we had 4 girls and I was going on and on about how brilliant they were at dance classes and the whole time all you could think of was what if you had a son, what it would be like watching him play football, would he be any good at it?
I know I can take boys to dance classes, but it's one small part of the GD thing. Like people talk about shopping trips with their daughters, ds2 enjoys going shopping with me (I think it's mainly the lunch out that entices him lol) but we went out Thursday last week and this week but it isn't that same, because it's not what the whole GD issue is about. Even if I took him shopping every week and to dance classes every week he still wouldn't be my little girl, so it still wouldn't help this feeling.


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[motherofboys]

He was trying to be extra nice to me last night, but I'd rather he just gave me an answer. He was willing to try before so why won't he just say yes but not yet, or even a flat out no. I'd rather be told no than keep hoping that one day it might happen.


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[foxymrsg]

Why do they skirt the issue? Dh is the same! It's like they think if they say yes we'll be jumping their bones tonight! Honestly what is wrong with them!?!

[motherofboys]

I don't know how he can say yes when I asked about HT but won't say "one day" when I ask about trying again.
I feel like it's all I keep going on about too him and don't know if I should push for an answer or just leave it.
4 kids are hard work, and 5 would be more, I know that and I can understand when they are being pains that maybe it puts him off another. I even wonder why I want another at times. But wouldn't it all be so worth it if the next one WAS a girl?!



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[motherofboys]

I don't think I can do any school runs next week. I know I am so pathetic but I am dreading the thought of everyone gushing over the mum who had her baby girl at the beginning of the holidays. And another just announced on Facebook that she's having a boy, she has 2 girls and her husband has an older daughter from a previous relationship. So if I stand the other end of the very small playground everyone's going to be gushing over her


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[foxymrsg]

Oh no that's going to be the hardest bit, people may not gush too much an I'm sure they'd still gush if it was a boy as it's the whole new baby thing. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid it though I'd feel exactly the same. It's so hard to not feel like it's just being rubbed in our faces even when they're not, it's because we feel the emotions and it's so raw!

[hopper]

Girls reading how you are feeling is like a breath of fresh air. I'm sorry, but it makes me feel so much more normal!!! DH doesn't get this GD business at ALL!!! My brother in law has only daughter's and he is mad for a son,I tell DH that his brother would completely understand and he says he gets it a bit but he doesn't at all! On Thursday he arrived in from work and told me his work colleagues wife had just had their second child. Their first is a 5 yo boy, they had a MC last year so I would have always asked after her when I found out she was pg again. Of course she had a little girl and I felt HORRIBLE for feeling how I felt, I didn't begrudge her her daughter but all I could think was how come they had a PP so easily. I wouldn't be without my boys but I have no control over how I feel. Hate feeling this way!!! I had myself all.most convinced I would be ok as a boy mother, now I keep thinking I will always feel this way if I don't have a daughter!! GD sucks!!!!!! Oh, and to top it off we have to attend a wedding with the couple with the PP next week, they are bringing their new born DD and I will be drowning myself in wine at the bar!!

[motherofboys]

I know I'm being stupid and I can't avoid everyone with daughters forever. I just hate the way it was all the way through her pregnancy every scan it was "double and triple checked its still a girl" and "I couldn't believe that it was actually a girl" she has 1 boy. One. I don't get it, if you have 1 of one gender then the chance of the next being the opposite surely still feels 50/50, in fact I remember being convinced that I'd get a girl when we tried for a second, just because that's what happens right? My mum had a girl then twin boys, dh parents had a girl then 2 boys, dh brother and dh sister both had a boy followed by a girl so why would we be any different. It was more of a surprise when we were told boy (at the 13 week scan and I refused to believe it because it was too early. I didn't even have gender desire then, I was happy to have a couple of boys first, I had just assumed that was how it would work.


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[foxymrsg]

Omg sorry I didn't realise it was a pigeon pair! Yes that frustrates me why are they panicking over the scan if I'd have been told girl after ds1 I wouldn't have doubted it! If I'm told girl next time I would but that's because I can't believe it'd actually happen! Lol! You're not being stupid though you need to process your feelings Hun and deal with them!
Hopper my love you are not alone I think very few men actually truly get it! I wish they could feel what we feel for just one day! Then they'd understand!
Thank god for wine at the wedding next week! Lol

[motherofboys]

I agree they just don't seem to get it, although I know sometimes it is the man who has GD. I said to DH to imagine what it was like if he didn't have boys to share all that stuff with and he just had to listen to me going on about all girly stuff and wondering what it would be like to have a boy. He just keeps being overly nice to me and telling me that he loves me, which I don't doubt but it feels like he is trying to say no. I know he wanted a girl and it wasn't until after we found out DS4 was a boy that he started to mention stopping. Like there was no point having another as it would definitely be a boy.
I am sorry I'm being so pathetic about it all. We are all in the same boat but I'm over here having a pity party. Sometimes I'm OK, I was alright over Christmas, but now? It's like a physical aching in my heart.

[foxymrsg]

Don't ever be sorry we're here together because we all understand! I think you need to sit him down for a heart to heart it's so hard to get the convo started but once it's started its amazing how much you can sometimes get them to open up!

[motherofboys]

I do. There's just so much going on that I feel like I'm being selfish to keep bringing this up and I'm scared of his answer. I don't know when the right time to talk about it is. I know he's worried and stressed about other things already and I feel like I'm adding to his problems.


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[foxymrsg]

Yes I'm the same with dh, I worry about adding to his stress problems but if they know were unhappy they get more stressed and don't know why. At least if he knows why you're unhappy he can decide. You're not asking for another one now but you need to know what the future holds.

[motherofboys]

Dh dad has been moved to a different hospital and no one thought they should bother telling us. Good thing he works with his sister or he'd have gone up there tonight and he wouldn't be there!


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[Mrs_Incredible]

That's awful. X


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[motherofboys]

I know. I'm so annoyed! His sister lives 2 doors away so why she couldn't tell us I don't know! He has been texting his brother asking how their dad is because we've both been unwell and his brother said not to go because they wouldn't let us in if we were ill, and all his brother says is "I'll let you know when I see him later" then doesn't let us know.


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[motherofboys]

I had to do the school run, i tried not to look at the baby too much, just said hi to her, thanked God for the wind as an excuse for ever so slightly watering eyes as I walked along behind them. Had to listen to everyone exclaiming how gorgeous she is and how lucky they are.
Trying to keep it all in and not break down tonight. Dh doesn't need me being like this right now


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[Mrs_Incredible]

Oh mob, so sorry you are hurting right now xx

[motherofboys]

Thanks. It's got to be ok one day right? Whatever happens, it's got to get better, hasn't it?
When we decided to stop ttc I felt ok and I thought I'd have the occasional dips into GD but they'd shorter and further between and not hurt as much, but they aren't. They are getting closer together and longer and worse.



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[foxymrsg]

Oh no that's awful about dh's dad! What is it with familes that they have to make everything hard work!?! Sorry to hear you're going through it at all angles right now. I so wish I could wave a wand and make it better for us all.
Well done you for seeing the baby though it's such a hard time but the first time is defo the hardest x

[hopper]

Oh yeah foxy, there shall be lots of wine lol!!

Ah MOB I feel so sorry for you, what a rotten day!! The family situation is just uncalled for and the school run was definitely not needed on top of that. At least the first one is over and done with, hopefully the interest in the baby will ease off now.

I had a similar situation today myself. A friend of mine is due her first in June and I bumped into her earlier. I had heard on the grapevine she is having a girl and for some unknown reason I couldn't even look at her bump :( That's a new low for me! Not only that but I got invited to her baby shower next month, now to see if I can come up with a valid excuse!!! God, I hope I don't always feel this way. Part of me can't wait to ttc so that at least I will know the outcome one way or another and the other part of me is so afraid to even try to sway. Trying to be less Martha, some days it works and others not so much!!

[motherofboys]

I know what you mean. I want it all final. I want to sway, and be pregnant with my last baby and know whatever happens this is it I gave it my best shot.
But it's scary to think that I might still get a boy and how I'll feel then. In one way it's nice to still have to hope.
I hope we don't have to feel this forever.


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[motherofboys]

Oh and BIL seems to have been trying to keep us away as much as possible the whole time. I think he just wants to say he was there more and did more for him. According to SIL all FIL keeps asking is when DH and I are going up and that he wants to see us and the boys (who won't be going now, but when he first went in he was pretty much like his old self, not wired up or anything and able to move around so DS1 and 2 did go and see him a couple of times because he asked for them. Once he started needing wires and things and looking rougher we stopped taking them)


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[hopper]

Thats exactly how I feel too! Financially 3 is our limit, though I have hope that if #3 is a boy I may be able to convince DH to have a fourth - though the strain that would put on us might not be worth it. DH always said he wanted two kids and we are doing well financially right now, able to take nice holidays and buy nice things and save some money too. Sometimes I wish I could just let it go (lol, how Elsa of me - sorry, just had to do that as the boys are still Frozen obsessed) and be happy being mother of two fabulous little boys and then I think that I just need to take a shot at swaying. If it doesn't work out then maybe I will be able to give this up and move on and finally be happy!!

[motherofboys]

I don't want to get 10/20years down the line and think maybe if I'd just given it 1 try...
It does change things though. Like our car is a 7 seater but it's old, so the middle seat doesn't have a full seat belt. I'm told this can be fitted but I don't know what it costs. But if we had another we'd need to do that.
The house thing too. With 4, especially all boys, they can share 2 to a room. If we had another boy it wouldn't be a problem I suppose as he could share with 2 of the others. We have 3 in one room and 1 with us at the moment. But if it's a girl we will need another room. Financially we manage. With a lot of saving and careful budgeting, we have enough, so 4 is probably a sensible place to stop. And going out, we each have 2 hands, we can keep hold of 2 each. It's something I do worry about in busy places, keeping track of them all.
But it's still that thought that we could do it, it isn't unmanageable, we'd be ok, and we could get that girl we've been waiting for.



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[hopper]

Totally agree mob, I would hate to look back and have regrets!! I'm almost 33 now, I need to get this show on the road. We are in a similar predicament with the house situation, we are currently renting and trying to save our downpayment for a house of our own. We have been told that we are at a disadvantage with two kids and a third would mean we may not get the mortgage so DH is kinda dragging his feet on the sway thing. I'm pushing ahead with it though, I've told him in no uncertain terms we are swaying this year! He jokes about my diet etc but he will go along with it cause honestly I'm a nightmare to live with if I really want something and I don't get it lol. Its a worry about the house and having to afford a new car (we just have a regular 5 seater car so would need a 7 seater for the three car seats (DS1 would be only just gone 4 if we conceived first try so would still need a seat) but I can't wait any longer. My friends mother was telling me only last year after I had DS2 that I should have another 2 or 3 while I still can, she had two boys and then a girl and she said she wishes that she hadn't stopped then. Her DH told her that 3 was his limit and she says now the two of them wish they had had more kids. Her words were "You will never regret having a child, but you'll definitely regret NOT having them when its too late!" She is so right, and anytime DH starts to moan about having more kids I bring up those words and it shuts him up for another while. He's a bit more apprehensive about having more kids. He was not very hands on when we had DS1, I did everything and never asked for a hand. When DS2 arrived DS1 was almost 2 and he went through a sleep regression for about 6 months. I couldn't manage both kids some nights when they woke up together as I was breast feeding DS2 so I had to ask DH to get involved. He took charge of DS1 and for the 6 month period of DS1s crappy sleeping DH got up to him at night. One night when I was rocking DS2 back to sleep DH came into the room with tears in his eyes, he said he was so tired and frustrated and he couldn't believe I wasn't cracking up from lack of sleep having had crappy sleep since DS1 was born in 2012. Sleep deprivation is the worst but I tried to explain it would pass eventually and they are only small for such a short period. He was adamant from then he was sticking with having only two kids, he had said it before then but I took it with a pinch of salt cause he just likes to get a rise out of me. Things came to a head around Xmas there when he began to say every day that he was done having kids and he had "his boys" and I said that if he wasn't willing to have more kids with me he needed to seriously think about it cause I wasn't finished yet and I couldn't see us lasting if he wasn't willing to budge. He said that he was just emotionally scarred from the sleep deprivation and he couldn't go back to it if we had DC3 and he had to manage the older ones himself. Such a small thing to deter him from having more kids! He's came around to the idea of it, well he saw how upset I was getting everytime someone announced a girl pregnancy so he said we could try again and he's on board to sway as much as he can.

[motherofboys]

Dh always says ds2 broke him. That kid didn't sleep till after he was 2.5 years old. Not only did he not sleep but he would scream all night. Even when he could talk in full sentences he still screamed and wouldn't give an answer about what he wanted. I had post natal depression so dh took over ds2s care while I dealt with ds1 (who decided to sleep through just after ds2 was born. But I still laid away listening to ds2 scream while dh tried to sooth him) he says when ds1 cried as a baby he could tune him out and do the things he needed to do with him to help, but after ds2 he can't tune that sound out and it gets to him now. Although I mainly do the baby stuff now and he does the bigger kid stuff. So maybe he thinks he is going to have ds4 shoved onto him as well while I looked after a 5th. But ds1 is now 9, he'd be 10 at least by the time a baby was born. And we'd hopefully have a new house where ds1 and 2 could share and sort themselves out mostly. I mean they can read to themselves, settle themselves to sleep, dress themselves etc they don't need standing over for the most part. Ds3 wouldn't need much doing for him really either, it would just be ds4 who needed help dressing and reading to at night and that.
I'm worried if we have another before moving they won't give us a 3 bed, it'll have to be a 4 (council) and they are so rarely available that we could be waiting much longer and be forced to go somewhere we don't really want to be just to get the right number of rooms. Where as if we are already in a house then it's up to us whether we need more space or not.
I think he sees that I'm upset, he keeps cuddling me and giving me sympathetic looks but they are not answers.


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[motherofboys]

Just settling down to catch up on OBEM. 4od will only let me watch from episode 3 but I think I saw the first 2 or 3 anyway. I can't remember lmao

Also forgot to say, I'll be 29 in July but hubby is 46


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[hopper]

I think I can still drown it out a little if I really need to, but I guess it doesn't bother the mother as much as it would the father. At least in our house thats the case. A friend of mine has 4 girls and she said that it was her second that broke her and her DH. They were engaged at the time they had her and ended up postponing the wedding for YEARS cause they were on and off more than a light switch!! She was convinced that he'd start a fight with her just so he could walk out and get a break! She reckons the transition of going from one child to two was the hardest for her personally, the third and fourth girls just kinda fitted in and there were no big changes to the family other than needing to keep at the council for a bigger house which they got just before their 4th daughter was born luckily enough!
Its not fair that he won't give you an answer mob. Do you think he is leaning toward trying a sway soon? Or anytime for that matter? We were in that in between place around Xmas and one day in the car I burst out crying and DH hadn't a clue what was wrong with me. Eventually I got the words out and he stewed for a few days before saying that if it meant that much to me then he would try again. Of course I then felt I was pushing him into a child he wouldn't want so I back tracked and said we'd stick with just the two of them but he told me he felt that if we left it about another year (well it'll be late Sept/early Oct at the earliest so about 10 months since we decided to have another) he might be less fixated on getting a full nights sleep.

Haven't watched OBEM for a few weeks, found myself getting really upset everytime there was a little pink bundle born. I used to love watching and critiquing some of the womens inactive labour (I hate seeing a lazy woman labouring lying down, eh hello...have you ever heard of gravity!!! lol) Dh watches too although he likes to pretend he doesn't lol. Hes always full of questions like "What does that feel like?" or "Would it be like a big poo?!" haha, he'd be dead serious asking as well. Does have me in bits laughing at him!

As for your ages mob, don't they generally say that the older the man the lower his sperm count (well, generally speaking no?) and the more likely to produce girls. Maybe that would be a talking point, though when I told DH we need to lower our fertility he was less than impressed at the idea. He prides himself on "producing" boys!!!

Just about to bring the boys for a nice long walk, the sun is shining and its fab outside!! All three of us fell asleep on the couch this morning, I was so tired from a night of teething with DS2 even a massive coffee couldn't keep me awake! DH came home at 1.30pm and found the 3 of us snoring!! He was going mad saying the kids won't sleep tonight, little does he know we were all asleep for about 2+ hours!! Oops!!

[motherofboys]

I don't know if he is thinking of having another at all! I think he wants to say no but doesn't want to upset me. I said to him today that I just need to know if it will happen, that I want to sway so I can at least say that I tried and I don't care when I just need to know if there's going to be another. This summer, next summer, whenever. All he had to say after I poured everything out was "I'm sorry I didn't make one" that makes no mention of the future.
I'm exhausted all the time lately. I fell asleep at 9 last night, woke up to go to bed and slept until I couldn't ignore the alarm any more at 7 this morning and am still tired.
I've not watched it for weeks either, I didn't see the end of the last series at all because it upset me. I had it recorded to watch when I felt better and in the end just deleted it. I'm almost all caught up with this series though, 1 more episode to go. Dh used to watch it too. I haven't watched any with him this series though in case I get upset, maybe I should lol


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[foxymrsg]

Hopper I think were married to the same bloke! Lol! I can't get him to commit to trying for a other and he always blames it on the sleepless nights! Yet tbh put boys are great sleepers! It was just the first few weeks that were hard and I done it all anyway! I bf'd so he didn't have to do any night feeds. Even when I expressed he conveniently forgot to bring the milk up or left ds2 till he was crying on which case it was too late for him to settle for a feed and it was down to be! So I've categorically told him that argument is bs abs won't wash with me! I understand the financial worry as I worry to buy hopefully with me studying our life will get better in the future!

[motherofboys]

Uh oh, I did a stupid thing. Dh took ds1 and 2 to judo and karate and I typed out this big long text because I tried to start a conversation about it and he kept changing the subject. It was all the things I wanted to say but never actually would. I had no intention of sending it I just had to get it out. Then ds4 knocked the phone out of my hand and as I grabbed it I pressed send! The one time I could have used the notoriously rubbish signal we have round here is the time it failed me and the text sent first try!
Bet I still won't get an answer from him.


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[ELP]

Oh no mobs!! I hope this at least brings it to the conversation for you and you can get a solid answer out of him, GL xx

[motherofboys]

ELP!!! How are you? I often think of you and wonder how you are getting on.


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[motherofboys]

Still didn't get an answer, i got "I just try to do my best to make you happy and look after you all" and I said I know he does and it's not him, it's me who has the problem because I just can't let it go and he said he loves me and sent me a bunch of kisses


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[hopper]

Oh mob, I'm sorry he didn't say what you needed him to say!! Perhaps getting emotional and letting it all out and asking him straight out if he will have another because you don't want to look back and have regrets further down the line is the way to go with him. There really is nothing as bad as wondering and longing and hoping - you need to know so you can either grieve and move forward or set a time frame and put it to the back of your mind until its time to sway.

I'm really tired lately too, DS2 only woke at 5.20am this morning. I gave him a bottle of milk and he slept another 2 hours thankfully!! I needed the sleep, hes been so unsettled lately with his teeth. I feel like a zombie most days!!

Funny that we were just talking about OBEM yesterday and then last night DH asked me if I planned on watching the episodes I've missed. I just gave him a look and said does he really want me to watch them with the way I'm feeling lately. He quickly dropped the subject. Hopefully I'll be able to watch them soon, I really used to love it!!

Getting my hair done today, it is so badly in need of a colour. I found my first gray hair about 2 weeks ago, I nearly DIED!! Of course I booked a trip to the salon asap but my colourist is very popular so today was the earliest he could see me. Good timing cause we have that wedding tomorrow!!!

[motherofboys]

I went to the monthly coffee morning I go to and the mum with the new baby girl was there. She hasn't been since before Christmas and then decides to come now of all times. Not that she shouldn't be free to come when she wants but all the talk of perfect families and people asking if it made me broody and want another etc etc I just said all newborns do that to people don't they? Especially when they are sleeping.
I was going to grow all the colour out of my hair last year then found a grey hair and thought Nope, where's the dye? Lol


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[motherofboys]

At last! I have an answer. He wants to wait till next summer because he likes the 3+ year gap but it is going to happen. That's all I wanted! I said I don't want to force him into something he didn't want to and he said he thought that we were doing it but waiting anyway. So why no answer before? Anyway at least I know now!


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[hopper]

At last! I have an answer. He wants to wait till next summer because he likes the 3+ year gap but it is going to happen. That's all I wanted! I said I don't want to force him into something he didn't want to and he said he thought that we were doing it but waiting anyway. So why no answer before? Anyway at least I know now!


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YAHOOOOOO!! Delighted for you MOB!! Thats a right weight been lifted :) Plenty of time to plan a really decent attempt!!

[motherofboys]

I'm so relieved. I know I wanted it to be this year but I guess it's only a year and hopefully we'll be able to move in that time so won't have to worry about that and can concentrate on a sway.


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[foxymrsg]

Oh that is such wonderful news! I am so delighted for you!! We are having a talk tonight when DH gets in from work as I too have got fed up with the avoidence! Fingers crossed I'll be in the same boat as you later!! So so pleased for you though hun

[motherofboys]

Aw I really hope he is on board and gives you an answer


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[foxymrsg]

well I texted him today as he texted me asking what's up as he knew something wasn't right. I told him I was not happy with not knowing if we'd have another or not, he has agreed to another just longs I'm no longer working weekends as he finds it hard with the boys on his own which is fair enough! I just need to find away to earn though as I know we can't afford for me not to work at all. Good end to the week for us though hun eh?

[motherofboys]

Aw I'm glad he is up for another. I'm sure you can work out the working thing. It's nice just knowing that one day it could happen.


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[foxymrsg]

Yes it just makes it feel better and make everything seem easier to deal with.

[motherofboys]

It does. I know I could and probably will still have a boy but just knowing I have a chance has made everything easier


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[foxymrsg]

Absolutely agree!

[hopper]

Great news foxy!!! What a great end to the week girls :)

Had the wedding yesterday, had a lovely time and fielded some fairly stupid GD questions. Let's just say the wine wasn't helping so I moved to vodka and by GOD am I paying for it today!! The baby girl was there, only 8 days old and cute as a button. I got to have a squeeze of her and I swear I felt my ovaries flutter lol. She was just all beautiful pink squishyness, I am beyond broody now!!!!

[motherofboys]

I have to say as hard as the pink-ness was at the coffee morning with the tiny baby girl, her just being a new born didn't help my broodiness. I love a new born! All curled up, and sleepy, and the way they look for food.
I absolutely love being pregnant and having a newborn.


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[hopper]

I'm not the world's best pregnant woman but when the broodiness sets in there's nothing else you can do but get pregnant again lol. Still not right today after the wedding and yesterday's hangover, my diet is out the window but not stressing. I will get back on the wagon tomorrow! ;)

[motherofboys]

When I was on the diet last year I went to a couple of those parties where they sell you things at the same time (mainly candles) and a night out with friends. The next day I had to eat! I think the overall picture matters most, so a day or two off the wagon won't hurt.


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[foxymrsg]

Aw well done you for getting through the wedding they can be very hard days! It is the newborn thing they are just so flaming adorable and scrummy boy or Girl! Love smelling theor gorgeous necks. Oh god I'm sooo broody lol

[motherofboys]

Me too, with the rate this year is going so far it won't be long and we will be starting sways.
Are you getting a plan? Has anyone had the meal plan ebook?


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[foxymrsg]

I've bought a plan bundle so have the meal book too. I think it's defo worth doing I got mine with my birthday money and I cant wait to get started!

[motherofboys]

OMG! OMG! OMG! Been offered another house. I honestly was expecting to get to ttc time next year and not be moved. It's in a nicer area. I've Google mapped and street viewed it till there is nothing else to look at, there's nothing to make me think DH won't like the area, he said it looks good. I've also looked at all the houses that have been for sale in the row in the last few years for an idea on size and lay out and it seems suitable. The double bedrooms are not much bigger than what we have, but there would only be 2 per room so would be better anyway. The single could fit a double bed so I think we would go for that and let the boys have the bigger room. It's got a garage and small garden but the front doesn't have a road just a large grassed area that the kids could play on and maybe make new neighbour friends and the rent is a tiny bit cheaper. And close enough to not have to change schools. Viewing tomorrow morning, please keep everything crossed for us. We really need some good news at the moment.


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[kitkat18]

Just crashing in to say MOB and foxy so glad your DH 's have come around! Mine took some convincing hence the big age gap between DS2 and DD1 ( five and a half years). I really really hope you all get your girls XX

[motherofboys]

Thanks KitKat


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[foxymrsg]

Ah thanks kitkat, your dd is adorable! Could squish her (in a nice way of course!! Lol) xx

Omg mob!!!! Yes yes yes I am dancing for you! Oh my goodness I so hope this happens! We've had some positive news on our house today too so maybe it's changing our mind sets that help. I just resigned myself to not being in control and switching off from it and it's hopefully on the up! Excellent news for you I'm sooo pleased! Good luck with the viewing tomorrow hope hubby likes it too! Let me know how it goes!! :fingers::fingers:

[motherofboys]

I will do, and fingers crossed everything goes well for you too.

[hopper]

mob and foxy fantastic news on the houses ladies!! mob let us know how today goes, have everything crossed for you!! :)

[foxymrsg]

How'd it go MOB? Hope it was all ok and dh liked it!

[motherofboys]

Today has been a real mixed bag and I feel awful for how excited we had been earlier in the day.

We left early to check out the area around the house, literally across the road and through a path between 2 of the houses is a little park. The area looks lovely, we saw both neighbours while waiting and they each said morning and one said "bin days is friday" (lol) which is so nice, our current neighbours are right snobby gits who completely ignore you. One side will actually hide rather than have to saw "morning". The room sizes are not much different except the kitchen which must be like 3 times as wide. A little run down but apparently they haven't finished sorting it out since the last people moved. It's got all brand new doors inside, 2 toilets, one up one down, which is fab. ATM we have 1 downstairs which is also the bathroom and the boys all burst in while I'm bathing and leave the door open so if next door looked over their fence they could see at an angle through the kitchen and into the bathroom. And it has a bath with a shower over it. The only way it could be more perfect was larger rooms but its not any smaller and more over all space where it counts. We said yes, and have since had a call to arrange paperwork stuff for tuesday and she hopes they will have the keys from the contractors at some point next week. It's ours.
DH was talking about how you don't always have to be waiting to move while there and I was thinking "well if we have a girl we will have to eventually" but thats one of those things we will deal with when we come to it.
As we left DH phone rang and it was BIL. He was crying and couldn't get the words out but it was thee call we have been expecting about FIL. DH just said "it's ok I know what you're going to say". They told us on Saturday they couldn't do FILs op and that they gave him another 2 days. He held on for almost a week, but it's over now. He can finally be at peace.
So yeah, now I've got to tell the boys we are moving house and their Grandad has gone. They knew to expect it, but that won't make it easier.

[True Blue]

Motherofboys I'm so sorry for your loss of FIL, Grandad and Dh Father :( wishing you all the strength to get through the coming days/weeks :sadflwr:

Very happy for you all on the new home, I peep in here often and know your frustration at finding somewhere new - one more step towards your DD xx

[motherofboys]

Thank you true blue. Feelings are all mixed up. He was one of the most wonderful people I've ever met, and certainly more of a father to me than my own dad or step dad. He would have been very happy for us. Dh has gone to his mums, so I'm going to tell the boys about the house and let them be excited about that then when DH gets home tell them about FIL. They knew that he wasn't coming home, and they knew I was viewing the house but it wouldn't be fair to tell them both things together, and I don't want to tell them about FIL on my own either but they will ask about the house.


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[foxymrsg]

Oh mob I am so very sorry about your fil! A loss of a loved one is always so painful, my thoughts and condolences are with you all.
What an emotional roller coaster of a day for you all though. Absolutley wonderful news about the house, so very pleased for you!

[motherofboys]

Thank you. It's been a right old day. I've sat down now everyone's asleep and it's finally sinking in.


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[foxymrsg]

Bless you allow yourself time to grieve as well.

[hopper]

Oh MOB I am so sorry about your FIL! Thinking of you and your family now and hoping the next few days are as easy as possible for you all xxx

On the other news I am absolutely delighted about the house. What terrific news hun!

[motherofboys]

Thanks, I couldn't write anymore earlier but all day I've been thinking this is best for him, no more pain for him, no more suffering for him. When I finally sat down by myself the selfish side came out. The side that wants him back for me, and for the boys. If I could go back in time Id go back a year and make them do the op then so we still had him as fit and well as possible. Once I started crying I couldn't stop and just couldn't type any more. I've calmed down a little now. We knew he might not survive the op, but I never truly believed he was going anywhere. I honestly thought they'd do it and he would get better. Then they said he was too ill to have it done and we started preparing for the inevitable but I still hate it. Although I suppose that's how everyone feels when they lose someone important to them.


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[motherofboys]

I tell you what, right now having a daughter doesn't seem to be at all important.


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[foxymrsg]

I know things like this shock you to the core and make you reprioritise everything.

[motherofboys]

It certainly does and I hope that I can hold on to that, so I don't have to worry about being upset by not having a girl again. I've really seen in the last few weeks how DH and BIL and have pulled together for their parents while SIL has further distanced herself. And of SILs 2 children it is her son who wants to come home to his mum to support her through the loss while her daughter visited her on the day FIL was supposed to get his op and called a couple of times but that's it. Her son bought an open ended train ticket so he could travel home any time in the next month and is talking about moving back. We live 2 doors from SIL and her son is considering asking the landlord (who we know personally) if he can come straight in here after we leave.
I think it just reinforces what I said before (a long time ago) about it being personality, and the relationship you build that dictates how close you are rather than your gender.


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[foxymrsg]

How you doing mob? How's dh and the boys? I've been thinking about you

[motherofboys]

Getting there. Ds1 ended up crying over Game Of Life, when he drew a card that said his job was a video game designer or tester or something and DH asked if he'd like to do that when he grows up. He just started crying and said "I told grandad in going to be a palaeontologist" like he has no choice but to be that now.
But I'm not much better, went to buy cards because they have 2 birthday parties this weekend to go to. I turned around and there were Father's Day cards behind me and just for a moment I thought about looking at them for him. Dh and I don't really bother with that sort of stuff for each other but we do for his parents. It was the realisation that actually we won't need to buy those things this year that made me sad. I put a lot of effort into his gifts because to me he was more of a dad than my own or my step dad.


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[foxymrsg]

Oh bless your ds1 this is such a hard time for you all, it's so unfair. There are no words i can say, I truly wish I could to make it better for you all. I'm glad you could see your fil as a father figure. He must have loved that and thought the world of you xx

[motherofboys]

I told him the last time I saw him, just to make sure he knew. He couldn't really respond but he could hear us and give little signs that he knew who was there and what they were saying so I couldn't miss what turned out to be the last chance to say it.
Ds1 is mostly ok then something like that will happen, or he'll pick up a book and FIL was the type of person who wrote in the front of books "to Jimi, have a wonderful christmas 2014. Love from nan and grandad" and that will set him off.
We are trying to concentrate on more positive things, one of the last things he said to DH while he was able to was "be happy, you always be happy" and he would have been so pleased for us that we got the house so I'm trying to concentrate on that and be excited for that. I've been spending hours in Pinterest looking at colour schemes for decorating.


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[foxymrsg]

Bless you, he would love the fact you've got the house. So glad you got to tell him you love him. I'm glad you've got the house to focus on too. Have you got a moving date yet? I love Pinterest

[motherofboys]

We actually got the call this morning to pick up the keys at lunch time. We've been round again on the way back then DH went back to work. I can finally start packing as I never had anywhere to keep the boxes once packed before.


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[foxymrsg]

Yay enjoy packing! Fingers crossed well be following suit soon!!!..

[motherofboys]

I started the packing today. Ready to scream already ha ha ds4 just wants to unpack all the boxes as I pack them and follow me around grabbing at things and screeching to be picked up.


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[motherofboys]

How's everyone getting on? We've been busy painting. Living room is pretty much done, should be finished today then it's just carpets and we can get furniture in there, and ds2 and 4s room is about half way through painting.


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[foxymrsg]

Ah fantastic! When did you move!? So exciting! How's dh and boys?
I'm ok our move is progressing so fingers crossed a few weeks time well be in!

[motherofboys]

We've not actually moved in there yet. We've had to give 2 months notice on the old house so DH said we might as well get it sorted before moving the big stuff in so we don't have to worry about painting around it.
It's exciting, I've never been able to do a nursery so making their rooms the way they want them now is like finally getting to do that lol


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[foxymrsg]

That's fantastic! Really gives you time to get the house just how you want it! So exciting!

[ELP]

mob's what a dream come true!!!! You are not gonna know yourself once you are in, your are just going to have a thing called 'Space!!!' LOL :bigsmile: When we moved from the 2 bed to our 3 it was the strangest feeling, being able to move your arms in a circle. Let us know when your in ok. BTW when I moved into our new house I did conceive 3 pinks in a row but thats another story LOL!!!!!!!!!

[motherofboys]

Doing lots of packing today. OMG how many books do these kids need?! Luckily most of their stuff is already in tubs so will just be moved in them.


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[motherofboys]

Spent the first night in the new house last night. I am so beyond stressed, I know they say moving is stressful but we I did it before it didn't seem that stressful. Then again when I did it before ds1 was only just turning 14 months old and he was an angel of a child. He was not unpacking boxes and throwing breakables down the stairs (ds1s bedside lamp now doesn't work) or tearing pages out of books he found (Minecraft book missing a section on The Neather, whatever the heck that is lol) nor was he clinging to my leg when I needed to do stuff then wanting to run away from me when I needed him to stay out of the way and bf my side to keep him safe and out of the way of people moving heavy things. I also didn't have to break up fights or have people asking for things they haven't wanted in months and are at the bottom of one of the many boxes or following me round complaining of hunger or "he did this/won't let me do that".
I was however very pleased after hearing most of the people I know who moved in the last year tell me that they had to wait 2 weeks for sky to be fitted, to find that I could have it fitted today and that my landline and Internet are also active today.
I'm so cold today, it's pouring hard outside. I'm tempted to put the heating on just to see what it's like to live in a warm house with central heating but seeing as ds4 is wearing just a tshirt, nappy and socks (I really should get trousers on him before the guy comes to do the sky but he is napping ATM) and the others are upstairs on the xbox in just thin pjs I think it must just be me so won't.


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[foxymrsg]

Oh ilm so pleased you're in! That's fantastic news! God moving is soooo stressful but at least you're in! Yay! Yay for sky and Internet too! Hope you enjoy your new home so much

[motherofboys]

I want to fast forward a few weeks so everything is where it should be and there are not boxes everywhere lol


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[ELP]

Mob's hows the house going !! :)

[motherofboys]

Still up in the air, not doing this again with small children lol very slowly getting there.
How are you doing?


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