i hate this feeling/ losing out twice :(

[6bluewant1pink]

I thought my GD was cured and I accepted being the mom to 7 boys but I want that little girl so bad now! I recently went on vacation with my family and saw so many mother and daughters spending mother daughter time at the beach. I got to feeling sad and depressed. Not only because I want my own daughter but because I was adopted and never had a mother that treated me like I am a special daughter. I kept thinking it's not fair I want to be that daughter. My adopted "mom" is an alcoholic. Once I got out of high school the checks stopped and she could care less about me and my children. How can I lose out twice not having a mother and not having a chance of becoming a mother to my very own little girl. I thought I finally got a mother my mil. My husband is her only child. We were so close until she got a foster daughter. She says my daughter when she referrals to her foster daughter, it feels like a punch to my stomach I just want to yell out I'm your daughter you never had, and you're my mother I always wanted! I feel bad that I can't give her a granddaughter. I do try to believe God's gonna bless me with a girl someday. I wish I could get out of these feelings. I feel hurt don't know how to really express myself or have anyone who understand but you lovely ladies. I'm so thankful for you all. :tissue:

[covered in blue]

I'm sorry you are feeling down :(. Life is so unfair! I feel the same a bit lately. I've had to distance myself from so many friends because I just can't handle it in my face all the time. I desperately want to try again but I know I wouldn't handle an opposite at the moment. I want to do HT but it's just so expensive to do internationally with all the travel etc and organising all the meds and a doc to oversee from this end is almost impossible. Have you swayed before? Are you TTC? I really hope you get your girl soon! It's been such a long road for you and your courage and persistence is admirable! And as they say you can only keep throwing heads for so long before a tails is bound to pop up! Hope you are feeling better soon! I'm rooting for you! xxx

[trifecta]

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I always seem to have the same beach experience you just had and this year we're vacationing with my husband's new baby girl cousin; I just know it's going to hurt. If you're not done having kids would you consider HT or adoption, or being a foster mother as your MIL has done? That must sting to feel like your wish for a mother has also been taken away.

[luckyfourleafclover]

so sorry you are feeling so down - you need a really big hug and so I am sending you a cyber hug!

[6bluewant1pink]

Thanks ladies! I thought I was fine with my 7 boys but my heart aches for my little princess. I am getting on antidepressant to help me with my anxiety and depression. I saw that antidepressants sway girl so that's great to know plus I'm getting on the mini pill for a while.

[6bluewant1pink]

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I always seem to have the same beach experience you just had and this year we're vacationing with my husband's new baby girl cousin; I just know it's going to hurt. If you're not done having kids would you consider HT or adoption, or being a foster mother as your MIL has done? That must sting to feel like your wish for a mother has also been taken away.

Sorry I forgot to reply on your questions. I can not afford HT if I could oh yes I would definitely do it. I really don't wanna adopt or do foster parent. They are both emotionally long process I don't wanna go through and don't ever guarantee a girl at the end. I really want to become pregnant with my baby girl. Not to offend anyone. I love love pregnancy and want to experience it again.