Does anyone feel GD for other people?

[1+2+3boys]

Since having 3 boys when my dream family was always 2 boys and a girl, I always think too much about people who have two boys and are then pregnant with a third.
The annoying thing is though that I feel bad no matter what the gender of their third turns about to be.

I feel awful jealousy when they get a girl. I have become close to two ladies at playgroup lately who were both in the same situation. One already knew she was having a girl so I resisted liking her to begin with but couldn't help it. Anyway, the other was having a surprise and has not been at playgroup for a month and then I see her sitting there when I walk in this morning holding a baby...
in a pink hat. A beautiful new born girl. I congratulated her but felt so sad afterwards and just wanted to run and hide and it effected the time I had at playgroup the entire time and still am thinking about it heaps since leaving. I am happy for her though because I do like her.
If she had had a boy I wouldn't have known what to say because there is a lady at another thing I go to who I don't even talk to much who had her third boy a while back and I feel SO SO sorry for her. Like my heart hurts for her because I know what she may be feeling. I never know what to say to her when I talk to her and if I should bring up my feelings of wanting a girl and not getting one. Or saying three boys are awsome, which is true but I also can't let go of wanting a girl. For all I know there is a small chance she feels none of that and would be insulted. (She does always look rather gloomy though). As much as I long for a girl I would be very very pissed off if I knew anyone was feeling sorry for me because my boys are amazing.
These people, with two boys and then another of what ever, I find I have to tread sensitively around them.

DP noticed I looked down before he left for work and asked what was up and he exploded when I told him. He said to just get over it and he has agreed to do HT for a girl in two years so not to get upset over such stupid things. He doesn't understand though. How could someone else get their daughter after sons so seemingly effortless while we will have to pay thousands and it might not even work and even if it does I will have more children than I wanted so will be extra busy. It would have been easier to just get what I want. Also just cos he agreed does not mean it will happen because we may end up not having the money or needing it for other things. DP agreeing to HT gave me some comfort but it is hard waiting for 'my daughter' It is hard knowing it will be so long until I get her if I do and in the mean time I now have friends who I will have to see enjoying their girl after boys.

[covered in blue]

I'm sorry :(. It's always hard seeing other people getting what you so desperately want. That would have upset me too. Especially when they get a surprise girl and you are not expecting it :( You feel like you've lost a friend too.
My SIL is having a c-section on Friday. She's saying it's her second boy but I'm terrified it will turn out to be a girl! I'm not sure we will ever be the same after this GD journey. The innocence has gone from having babies that's for sure. When we get out DG we will still feel bad for those that don't.

We should go to HRC together in a couple of years! Leave the guys with the kids :)

[hotdogz&boyz]

Occasionally I do. But it's mostly in people who have expressed a desire one way or the other and then don't get what they want.

Sometimes people "surprise" me, so I try not to assume anyone has a specific preference unless they tell me so. I ran into a friend at the store when she was pregnant with her third after two sons and she said she found out it was a third boy. I congratulated her and said how fun her house will be and she said "Yep, I was so relieved. I had no idea how much I wanted it to be a boy until they said it was. I thought I would be okay either way, but I am so happy it turned out the way it did." With not a single trace of GD. And I think we are close enough where she would have made a comment or whatever if she was disappointed. She really desired three sons and no daughters. And after that experience, I realized that my ideal was not necessarily other people's ideal and it helps me not feel GD for people (who may have gotten what they wanted no matter what I think they wanted).

But, if I know for sure that someone has expressed a desire and they don't get it, I do feel for them a bit. A friend had a surprise-at-birth last year and it was their third boy. They thought it was a girl and she desperately wanted a girl. And even though I know he is perfect and great for their family. I felt for her. What a surprise and then whatever she was feeling was even more magnified by people's comments. I always wonder how she felt those first few days and if I could have said anything to help (although I might have been the last person on earth she wanted to talk to, I dunno).

[zibibbogirl]

One thing that my journey has taught me is that you cannot presume to know what other people want or feel. I have had a lot of strangers tell me how lucky I am to have a pigeon pair when I am out with my younges two. When I tell them, "Yes and eve luckier that I have two more boys at school" they are normally quite surprised. People I know well enough to talk about gender with have asked me if I was disappointed DS3 was a boy. But I can honestly say I wasn't. I wanted a boy when I was having DS1. I assumed DS2 would be s girl and I was surprised he was a boy. But I actually wanted a boy with DS3. Out of all my children, he was the one I bonded with most at birth. I cried tears of joy with him but none of the others, including DD (Its not that I didnt love them, I just don't ever cry).

So if people felt sorry for me, they couldn't be more wrong. I think it is humsn nature but we see other people's lives through our own perceptions of what we want. But it's like anything, we are all different. You just don't know what other people might be struggling with, or be totally deliriously happy about.

[1+2+3boys]

Covered in Blue, that sounds like a great idea lol! So glad to have someone in my corner of the world wanting to do what I want to do

[Dreamofpink]

Covered in Blue any update on your SIL?! :)

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