Nub theory results have me in tears

[amo]

Hello,

I posted my 13week nub shots on some forums and I am getting all boy guesses, which is exactly what I thought was going to happen. I'm on number 2 and already have a little boy, my husband only wants two children so I was desperately hoping for a girl.

I followed some advice for ttc a girl such as ph levels and timing but following a miscarriage in July I had a moment of weakness and dtd at the wrong time, very close to ovulation. I also had a loss many years ago after having v severe morning sickness which disappeared, I'm convinced that was my girl. I also have alot of pressure from my husband's family (a family of all boys) to "get it right this time". On top of this my sister in law is also pregnant, just a couple of weeks behind me and I'm so worried she will have a girl and I just won't be able to cope with that.

I know the nub theory isn't 100% but I had very clear scan pics which apparently are classic boy. I feel so down at the thought of having another boy and never getting my girl. I just feel awful even thinking some of the things going through my mind.
I just don't know what to do...

Sorry for rambling.

[sweetdream]

I'm sorry, I know how you feel. I lean boy but am not convinced the top part isn't leg the other white is long and flat.
You will love him so much.
But I think you shouldn't feel guilty about timing or PH.

Statistics here have shows these things doesn't sway.
Maybe very maybe you DH will turn around in the future.

My DH wanted 2 I wanted 3 so 3 was our limit. But while I was pg with ds 3 the door opend slightly for a #4
And here we are pg with DD.

Good luck.

[amo]

Thank you for your reply. That's interesting what you said as I originally thought the white line was the nub but after doing some research came to the conclusion I was wrong, it's just so confusing.
I also had the smallest inkling it was a girl before but didn't want to let myself think that, then with everyone guessing boy I gave up hope.
I'm still not hopeful and won't let myself get my hopes up. It's such an awful feeling.

[sweetdream]

I know! Gender desire is horrible. I've been there many times. Prepare for boy but don't give up all hope.
I find gender desire the most difficult at the point you can't really bond yet. After 20 WK's you can feel your baby a lot and belly grows so you connect more.
Then its not only just boy/girl but it gets to be your baby. A real little person.

[chanel5]

Can I see your scan pic

[blackbekki]

I am in the same position now sweetheart. My post is further down and still just over a week until they confirm 3rd boy. I am still holding out some hope mines part of cord but if not I know my child As well as yours will recieve the same love as the others. Grieve the girl you never got and bond with the child within you. xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[amo]

Here's a pic of my very boy looking scan :-( 21682

[amo]

Thanks everyone. I do hope you're right sweetdream, my biggest fear is that the gender disappointment will affect the bond with my baby. I had problems bonding with my first because I had severe post natal spd which prevented me from doing alot and really got me down, as a result I've always thought my son has a much closer relationship with my husband, he always goes to daddy instead of me. Breaks my heart.
I'm also concerned my spd will return and that on top of gender disappointment will just be too hard to handle.

Blackbekki, I read your story and I've got to say it left me in floods of tears, you've been through so much, you really deserve your girl. Let me know what happens. I have everything crossed for you.

[chanel5]

Honestly I think u still have a good chance for that girl, but try to prepare for a boy... i have 4 girls and yesterday had a scan which everyone says is girly so far.... i know what GD is like and my heart goes out to you... all my girls are daddy girls, I would love for a kid of mine to be all about me for a change and I feel that the only way I'll get that is with a son... looks like the heavens may have something different in mind :/

[chanel5]

Here's what people tell me looks girly from a Facebook page (although no one from this sit has commented on it yet)http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/1e261c527ce8b82b48db9b59340db420.jpg

[chanel5]

http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/1c05018bab564616ee683dc20c7a951b.jpghttp://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/848e69fb0a3ab30956a0a469d2530375.jpg

[sweetdream]

Chanel gorgeous baby but no clear nub.
I wouldn't guess on this one
I think the nub is cut off. Girl lean but not sure.

[chanel5]

Here are a few others.. i was more or less showing the poster ours are similar and we are getting opposite guesses

[chanel5]

http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/39e8f9743c2b553a3dff40ddc441cd89.jpghttp://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/9a04f625aead5041208ddf6d252d023f.jpg

[chanel5]

http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/611a161b8c9288b135509d020d486ff2.jpghttp://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/74f60cdbfe2ca2a1490a5c462ab404b0.jpg

[sweetdream]

I think there quite different.
The poster had one long flat nub (wich make me lean girl) with a white bump on top. If that bump is part of the nub it would be a boy but is it part of the leg it would mean girl
Something makes me doubt its part of the nub because of the other long flat line wich is also longer then the bump.
And because of the term this pic is taken I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out girl.

I find this one tricky though.

Yours is very dark and I doubt we see the whole nub.

[amo]

I agree, I can't see a nub on yours chanel5, so you never know!
I'm trying not to get excited by your comment sweetdream, I'm going to keep telling myself boy and if it turns out to be a girl it'll be a lovely surprise.
Here's hoping we all get what our hearts desire. :-) xxx

[chanel5]

This is not a nub I'm seeing?http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/10/23/ce8d6382647ffcd3ede65bbad777acf7.jpg

[amo]

I'm not very good at this so I'm really not sure but if that is the nub I'd say its pointing up but as I said, I don't know a lot about this stuff. I have my fingers crossed for you.

[sweetdream]

I think it Could be the nub but its not full Side shot. Its more between the legs. (My english is not the best don't know how to say it)

It Could be a girl but I find the lines very short for a girl.

[amo]

Have you started your own post chanel? You'll get alot more guesses, although that might not help you, certainly didn't me as I got mostly boy guesses. When do you find out? x

Edit - just seen you have got a post going! Lol. Sorry. Plenty of boy guesses tho! Fingers crossed. :-)

[PrimalMamma]

I have 2 sons. I secretly wanted a girl when pregnant with DS1 but didn't tell anyone. We didn't find out til birth & his gender affected our bond massively. I got pregnant again when he was 16 months old & I was pretty devastated when I found out DS2 was another boy. I found out at 18 weeks. I then made it my mission to fall in love with that babe no matter what. So I went to hypnotherapy & it was the best thing I've ever done. By the time he was born I was deeply - DEEPLY - connected & bonded with him. Not only that, it transformed my relationship with DS1. I'm pregnant for the 3rd time & I'm only 10 weeks but I strongly feel this will be another boy. If it is I will be back to hypnotherapy to bond with him again. Gender desire/disappointment absolutely STINKS but if this one is another little boy you can - & will - love your baby. xxoo

[amo]

5 weeks until 20 weeks mark but I still don't have my scan appointment!! Grr.

[blackbekki]

Aww it will go super fast hunni, not sure yours is a defo boy either, go in thinking boy and if it's a girl you will have a super Xmas. Am doing so tomoro x


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[amo]

Finally got my scan appointment for the 12th and I'm kind of dreading it. I'm so convinced it's a boy so I won't be surprised if that's what they say but the thought if it being confirmed still makes my heart sink. I thought I was coming to terms with having another boy but I guess not as the closer this scan gets the more anxious I feel again.

[Christi]

Amo, I know exactly how you feel. My doctor told me she was leaning boy at my 11 week appointment, and we will have an elective ultrasound on December 14th to find out the gender for sure. On the one hand, I am dying to know the gender, but on the other hand, I am convinced that i am going to hear "boy" again, so I am almost dreading going. Good luck on your scan and I hope you hear GIRL!!

[amo]

Thanks christi. I hope you hear pink too!! :fx:
xxx

[amo]

Sonographer said she was 75% sure it was a boy. I went in being pretty sure it was a boy and feeling ok about it but I've got to say now I just feel numb. I don't want to feel like this but I just can't deny I don't want another boy, I'd rather not have another child at all. I hate myself for feeling like this and I just don't want to talk to or see anyone because no one understands, all my husband can say is we could try again but I cannot risk having three boys. I feel so angry and bitter and I'm dreading telling people and seeing that look of pity or disappointment in their eyes.
Right now I just want to disappear.

[Christi]

I'm so sorry, amo. I'm right there with you. I just heard essentially 100% that we are having a boy too (harmony test), so my dream of a daughter is gone too.


You don't need to tell anyone you don't want to about the gender until you are ready. Give yourself time to grieve. This too shall pass, in time. You are not alone.

75% is far from certain though. How far along are you?





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[amo]

Thanks Christi and I'm so sorry to hear you didn't get pink either.
I'm 20 weeks + 5 days. She said the legs were crossed for most of the scan but when baby moved she thought she saw a little willy and I'm pretty sure I saw it to. I know 75% isn't 100% but I've just felt it's another boy and what with my classic nub shots and a 75% certainty from sonographer I just know it's a boy. I've booked a private scan for next week to find out for sure.
I honestly think if my sister in law is having a girl I'll be devastated.

[Adia]

Hang in there amo....I feel your pain so acutely!

SIL#1 had BBGG, because that is what she ordered, of course!!! Then SIL#2 had GGBB, again, because that is what she ordered so naturally it happens.

DH has 6 siblings, we are the only ones who have yet to produce a boy and it is a HUGE deal in his family, sad to say but I am the shame of the family when it comes to producing grandchildren. (FYI, they can kiss my a$$ for all I care:sigh:), but it still sucks to have that fact mentioned and pointed out. DH has told them to shut up about it, but I know how they feel, they told me for 10 years before DH told them to shove it!

I am so dreading finding out the gender and the backlash from them. If its a boy I will have FINALLY gotten with the program! If its a girl, we will be written off as useless....so much to look forward to.....

[amo]

Thanks Adia. It sucks when we get pressure from family to produce a certain sex, like there's anything we can do about it and then seeing/hearing the disappointment.
I hope you get your boy. :-) xx

[amo]

God this is hard! I've not told many people about my scan yet but of the few people I have told I've got some saying "it could still be a girl!" or "oh, if they couldn't give you a definite answer it's probably a girl". It's giving what I think is false hope before my private scan on Thursday and I'll crash straight back down after. I'm even desperately thinking back on my scan the other day when I spent the majority of the time staring at the crotch area every time she went in that vicinity and thinking I didn't see anything willy or ball like so it could still be....
Oh it's torture. It's bound to be a boy.

[Adia]

Lots of distractions between now and then....hang in there.

[milly29]

3 years ago I posted my 12 week nub picture on a different site and got ALL girl guesses to then find out I was having a boy and I'm not gonna lie i was shocked and devastated! Fast forward 3 years and my little man is my angel who I wouldn't change for the world. Saying that tho when I do eventually go on to have baby no 3 and the 12 week scan comes around I will not be guessing the nub and I will not be posting the scan picture either! Incase anyone's curious I'll try and post the 12 week scan picture of my ds2! http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/14/12/17/0394e12b4661a3af1617a5c22336c710.jpg

[Magical22]

God this is hard! I've not told many people about my scan yet but of the few people I have told I've got some saying "it could still be a girl!" or "oh, if they couldn't give you a definite answer it's probably a girl". It's giving what I think is false hope before my private scan on Thursday and I'll crash straight back down after. I'm even desperately thinking back on my scan the other day when I spent the majority of the time staring at the crotch area every time she went in that vicinity and thinking I didn't see anything willy or ball like so it could still be....
Oh it's torture. It's bound to be a boy.

Any news yet??


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[amo]

No news yet. Scan is this afternoon, 5 hours and counting.

[amo]

Thankyou Millie. That certainly was a girlie looking nub, I can imagine how you must have felt finding out it was a boy. Great to hear how happy little man has made you now though. I hope you get your girl one day. xxx

[amo]

Well it's definitely 100% another boy. I was fully expecting it but it doesn't make it any easier. I think the hardest part is not being able to talk about it with anyone as every time I try I get the usual "be happy it's healthy" "you get what you get" and made to feel like my feelings are invalid or wrong. People just don't understand which makes this a very lonely and miserable experience. I'm dreading telling people.

[Magical22]

Well it's definitely 100% another boy. I was fully expecting it but it doesn't make it any easier. I think the hardest part is not being able to talk about it with anyone as every time I try I get the usual "be happy it's healthy" "you get what you get" and made to feel like my feelings are invalid or wrong. People just don't understand which makes this a very lonely and miserable experience. I'm dreading telling people.

Well congratulations on your son. You always have us to vent too :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[2boysJustOneGirl]

I felt the exact same way with DS2. There is nothing I can say to prepare you for the comments you will hear! I told most people I wanted another boy, it's the only way I could deflect (most of) the negativity and cope. You don't have to be open and honest about this with everybody. Anyway, it helped me a lot.

And my DS2 is truly the greatest gift I have ever gotten. You will get that once you meet yours and bond with him. Big hugs to you...I get exactly how you are feeling. It's tough.

[Christi]

I'm sorry amo. I totally feel your pain. I wish you strength in overcoming your gd. As each day goes on, I'm doing better at letting my dream of a daughter go and I'm starting to get excited about having another little boy. It helped to google things that are wonderful about being a mom of just boys. Good luck!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[amo]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I do feel like I'm mentally preparing stinging comebacks ready for any insensitive comments I may get, even though I know I probably won't have the guts to use them, I'll just say nothing. I've never been good at confrontation. But you never know, any comments will certainly hit a nerve!