It's a boy.... again

[Christi]

Sigh. I know everyone reading this board knows what i am feeling. Disappointed, mourning the loss of the daughter I will never have, guilt for being disappointed, etc.... I had a great sway.... and guess what... it didn't matter. I suppose my only consolation is that everyone around me that are having babies are all having boys too. Out of 8 babies, all of them are boys--it seems like statistically at least ONE of us should have had a girl, but I guess not. My doctor joked that it must be something in the water in our area because she has lots of patients with 3, 4, and 5 boys.... boys, boys, boys.... lots of boys!

I guess I am just sad that I will never have a mother-daughter relationship like I have with my mom. My mom is my best friend. Boys just don't seem to connect with their moms the way girls/women do. My husband loves his mom, but they aren't close. She has all boys and none of them are close to her. It just seems different with boys than girls. Maybe I am wrong...

I have an older friend who had 2 daughters and one boy. When she found out that she was having a boy she cried. She said she never wanted a boy and she was so sad to learn she was having a boy. Well, her boy is all grown up now and she has the closest relationship with her son than she does with her daughters. She told me excitedly that she "just didn't know they made such great boys".... I'm hoping that I will soon come to feel that way too.

My only hang up with fully jumping on board with my friend's philosophy is that her son (although wonderful) is a bit of a mama's boy, which is NOT what i want to raise my son's to be. I feel bad for her son's girlfriends because they always seem to play second fiddle to "mama." I want my son's to be able to have a nice, healthy relationship with their significant other and not just do whatever "mama" wants. I've never known a man who has a close relationship with his mother to have a fully healthy relationship with his wife. I feel like you either raise your boys to be mama's boys or you raise them to be independent and they go off on their own and you don't have a close relationship/friendship.

I guess I just need time to process....

[Nahri]

Relationships are what you make them regardless of gender. Mommas boys are generally raised that way. Always attached at the hip, get everything they want vs what they need etc. Im not that way with my son he is a very independent boy. If anything he is more of a daddy's boy than anything so don't give up hope in that department. I married a momma's boy but he doesn't hold me second in any way. His childhood was made quite awful by a drunken father so its to be expected hed be a mommas boy. Im sorry you didn't hear girl and I wish you were one of the ones that got a false result after having a boy not to long ago. You will like the rest of us have come to terms and love that little bundle especially because he is your last. He beat the swaying odds to have you as a mother and that determination will get him far in life :) Of course I say all this now as we are both due at the same time (june 15th) and my gender scan is in 10 days. I'll find it hard to take my own advice if I hear boy on the 21st but such is life :( I hope you continue to have a healthy pregnancy and your delivery date can be filled with joy :)

[Christi]

Thanks for your support, Nahri. I will keep my fingers crossed for you to hear GIRL on the 21st. The wait is a killer. I was going to get an ultrasound this weekend, but no point in that at this point. Keep me posted on what you hear. If I had any pink dust, I would send it your way... but alas, I don't have any....

[Adia]

Big hugs honey...:hugs:

[1+2+3boys]

Sorry to hear you didn't get your daughter. I have just started reading the book Raising boys and it may have some good answers in regards to the second half of your post. It does sting knowing that you will not ever have a daughter but same sex siblings are great. Your little boy will be getting a best friend for life and that is an awesome gift. Sometimes I try to focus on that rather than me getting what I wanted even though it would have been so wonderful

[Christi]

123, that's a great advice, I think that book is already sitting on my book shelf, I just haven't started it yet. I will definitely look into that.


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[kaseybaby]

My whole family are boys. Brothers, cousins, 2nd cousins, I am one of the very few girls. Almost all of them have 3 boys, and all their boys adore the mother's. Not in a mama's boy way, in a "you were my first love way". Your boys will adore you. Hugs!

[ksmom]

My husband and his mother are so close with each other. I always thought my mom and I were really close but I think my hubby and MIL have got us beat! He talks to her on the phone a couple of times a week and every time she comes to visit, he's always hugging her. I don't view him as a mama's boy at all and his relationship with her doesn't negatively affect our relationship.
I have two boys and even though I want more kids, I just know I'm destined to be a boy mom. I would LOVE to have a daughter some day but I have a feeling it's not in the cards for me. Boys can be really sweet and I think you'll realize that one day. My oldest asks me to put makeup on him and paint his nails. My second son is the sweetest, cuddliest little boy out there and would pick me over his dad any day. Your son is getting a really great gift of having a little brother to play with. I hope you experience the same heart melting, warm fuzzies I've had when I see my boys together. If you do decide to have more kids, I really hope you get your girl. :)

[Christi]

I hope so! It will be a brave new world. A world filled with boys, boys, boys! I am certain that I will know WAY more about Star Wars than I ever wanted to know in the years to come.

I love to cook, so I hope to share my love of cooking with them. My husband and I also met ballroom dancing, so we would love to teach our boys to dance as well. We were hoping for a boy and girl so they could dance together when we take them out ballroom dancing with us, but alas, that's not going to happen.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories about the healthy and close relationships your husbands have with their moms. Something to aspire to!!


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[amo]

:bighug:
Big hugs and know you're not alone in the way you feel. xxx

[1+2+3boys]

I love to cook, so I hope to share my love of cooking with them. My husband and I also met ballroom dancing, so we would love to teach our boys to dance as well. We were hoping for a boy and girl so they could dance together when we take them out ballroom dancing with us, but alas, that's not going to happen.



I always hoped that one of my children would be into art like me and since the stereotype is that boys can not sit still, I thought I would have to have a girl to be able to share that passion/hobby with one of my children. Well now 4 1/2 year old DS1 is surprising me in a very wonderful way. He LOVES to do art and I think he is quite good at drawing for his age so he had to have gotten that from me. Yay, it makes me so happy. He does so much art at Kindy and takes heaps of work home.
The same DS1 also enjoys cooking but he gets that from his Daddy who is a chef.

Your ballroom dancing vision for your boy and hoped for girl is so cute. Perhaps your boys can still dance together. A neat duo in another genre? Or in ballroom on the floor together with their own partners. If we look hard, many of the things we hoped for in one gender, we can get with the other. I know it is still not quite the same as getting your GD but it can help.

[Adia]

This is bugging me so I have to chime in.

I have 3 girls....don't you think my life would be about ponytails, hairbows, and cute shoes???? Most people would think that.

Well my 3 girls have gotten to where they won't let me TOUCH their hair. The most I can get out of them is getting it brushed in the mornings, but that is a struggle.

I am so fed up with DD2 & DD3 that I had my hairdresser cut their hair just below their ears. If they won't let me touch it I am not watching them run around with messy mops on their heads all day.

DD1 is 15 and does her own hair, but even when she was little she wouldn't let me touch her hair. I have 2 drawers full of hairbows that I am going to donate because NO ONE WEARS THEM!!

Making me nuts these days around the holidays. So many cute hair accessories and I CAN'T USE ONE OF THEM!!

GRRRRRR!