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View Full Version : Having a hard time with 4th boy at home...



Shannshaff
February 13th, 2015, 11:52 AM
I am having such a hard time with connecting with my little boy and bieving that he really is a boy. At the beginning of this pregnancy we found out that we were having triplets. This was a total and complete shock. At out NT scan at 11w1d all 3 looked great and based on nub we were pretty sure that the 2 identical ones were girls and the fraternal one was a boy. Since triplets is a high risk pregnancy, I was seeing a MFM every 2 weeks. At our 13w scan we found out that the identical pair had passed away. I was heart broken that we lost 2 of our babies and it really struck me hard that they were girls. At our 15w scan, the remaining baby is looking perfect, but devinitly looks like a boy. I am struggling with having another boy and the fact that we lost our girls. :( I am not sure why I am posting other than to get it out and hope that by my anatomy scan next week, I will be able to enjoy my little boy more.

jo doc
February 13th, 2015, 05:16 PM
hi!first of all so so sorry for your loss you must be heart broken. you will grow to adore the lovely little boy your carrying it just takes time! and remember you have been through a lot and are still grieving!have the hospital referred you to a counsilloror specialist midwife who deals with grief? that might really help you! I have three boys and did feel disapointed and kind of unconnected with the third whilst i was pregnant after they told me it was a boy but that feeling does fade and once you meet him face to face you could never imagine life without him and will adore him i can honestly say that happened to me and i now feel my third little guy was just meant to be and is completely amazing! a lot of what your feeling will probably be to do grief I would definately spaek to someone to help you through it! hope your feeling better soon. take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal. xxx

pink_bean
February 13th, 2015, 07:24 PM
I don't have any advice, I just want to say I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself!

WannaGirl
February 21st, 2015, 04:30 AM
Oh that's so hard to hear, so sorry, a double loss and both of opposite gender to what you have. Hugs for you, nothing I can say will make it better. I adore my 3rd but still hoping for a girl, maybe 4 will be enough?

1+2+3boys
February 22nd, 2015, 04:20 AM
So sorry to hear this. How very unfair to have had your little girls and lost them :( I can't imagine that

Claire33
March 22nd, 2015, 06:48 PM
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Of course you're sad, of course you're having trouble bonding, it's no more than normal in your situation. Being pregnant with GD is so difficult, but also mourning the loss of twins of your DG at the same time, no wonder you feel the way you do. But know that it will get better with time, please give yourself that time. You will eventually love your son like only his mummy can. Like pink bean said, be kind to yourself. And send kind thoughts to that little baby boy.

Schlingel
March 25th, 2015, 05:44 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss, what a cruel and unfair situation. I sure your new boy will be beautiful x