my final shot at this...please help

[rac081011]

I am a newbie here and I'm pretty desperate. Within the next 6 months or so I want to conceive my last child. It needs to be a girl!! I have 2 sons currently, and I did have a darling daughter but lost her in the 3rd trimester. I am dying to have a baby girl. I have looked into the Shettles method and it makes sense to me so I will utilize that, but are there any other tips?
I am not into going super obsessive crazy with this. I thought about Benedryl, RepHresh, Shettles, and adding Calcium and Magnesium to my diet, but thats as far as I want to go with this. I dont want to remove the intimacy from it with constant obsessiveness.
My question is the timing of the Benedryl and the timing of the Rephresh. Also, can someone give me an example of a brand of lubricant that is girl friendly?
My girl was conceived with girl on top so I will use that position again...
My first step is to track my temps and pinpoint my ovulation day so I can do a 3 to 4 day cut off prior to ovulation.
Any other suggestions?

[sweetdream]

I'm sorry to say but if you want to try a girl sway with not obsessing we advice a different aproach.

Attempt every 4 days and no tracking O gives you one shot in fertile window wich sways girl and you don't need to obsess over when o occurs.
Leave the supps (sways blue) just folic acid.
Skip breakfast and leave a gap between last meal and breakfast at least 14 hours.
Try to avoid meat

Others Could help and give more advice.
There is a high rate of succes on swaying here.

The things that seemed to sway most are
Dtd ever 4 days
Diet (1600 cal low fat and low proteïne and no breakfast)
Excercise moderate cardio 60 min 5-7 times a week

[rac081011]

So DTD every 4 days UNprotected? And at what cycle day should we start DTD every 4 days on? My cycles are usually 27 to 29 days but not exactly sure when I ovulate so need to figure that out. Im just so afraid that if one of the days falls within 1 or 2 days prior to O that it will be a boy.

[Dana-Alicia]

It doesn't work that way, Shettles has been debunked! There are so many opposites on this method, it just doesn't work. Take your time to read up on swaying on this forum. It's daunting at first as there's a lot of information, but it will start making sense soon enough! Good luck and hope you get your second daughter xx

[sweetdream]

Thats the beauty of it. Timing doesn't sway. But one shot in your fertile window does. If you have unprotected sex every 4 days ONE of those shots will be somewere in your fertile window wich sways girl.
We see in statistics that one shot ups your chances for a girl. With every attempt thats been added we see that rate go down.

I suggest you take your time and read atomics essays. They make so much sence.
I wouldn't be holding my daughter if it wasn't for this site. But I needed time to choose. This site and its different aproach or everything written online wich is old and not proven.
The stuff like shetles and superfoods. Wich there arent.

Hope you get your GD.

[Adia]

I highly recommend a personalized plan from Atomic. She will tailor the Gender Dreaming swaying methods to you personally and provide you a private coaching forum.

I got a plan and my sway worked! Her success rate from personalized plans is very good.

You still have access to all the same info if you don't purchase a plan, but having that individual venting forum where you can freak out privately is very comforting on this roller coaster of swaying.

Best of luck to you!

[pinkin2011]

I had one shot in my fertile window and got my ds2. Please try and do the LE diet if you are desperate for a girl. At least just do the diet and one attempt. I didnt do the diet when i conceived ds2.

[maidentomother]

Diet is by far the biggest sway factor. If you really want a daughter, best to do 12w on the LE diet BEFORE you start TTC (you need time on the diet to send the message to your body to conceive a girl), ideally 60 min daily cardio along with diet, and then once you start TTC, just one attempt at positive OPK. BD every 4 days is next best if OPKs don't work or are too stressful.

Timing, pH, cal/mag and all those old ideas don't sway at all or sway blue. Only GD uses a true scientific approach. Focus on doing the diet properly, ideally vegetarian, low fat and pink friendly fats, skip breakfast or have dinner early so you fast overnight.

I'm so sorry for your late loss and I hope you get another daughter.

[rac081011]

I guess Im just confused how diet can make you conceive a girl. I understand certain foods affecting pH, but the whole idea of making the woman conceive a girl by exercise and lowering calories and skipping breakfast just confuses me. Does it somehow alter the egg to make it more permeable to the XX sperm only? I will look into a plan. I need someone to tell me what to do and when to do it or I'll drive myself nuts. This will be my last baby and I just want a baby girl since I lost my last one so late in pregnancy. I'll start this diet tomorrow because Im looking to lose a little weight anyway. I'm 5'7 and 135 and packed on 10lbs this past year from nursing school!! So I have 6 months to prepare for TTC a baby girl and I will do what I got to.

[sweetdream]

Boys seem to need more glucose to grow. So if the body is low on nutricion and glucose for periods of time the body will send a message its better to accept A xx sperm in stead of xy sperm.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

A lot of what you're planning has been debunked. You can of course use these techniques if you'd like to, just that they don't work.

The most important thing you can do is stick with ONE attempt. Shettles if you want to, but do NOT have more than one attempt. One attempt has gotten fantastic results for us regardless of the day of intercourse. I would not have you go for 4 day cutoff, odds of conception are very slim to none with that long a cutoff. I would aim for 2-3 day cutoff and please don't go too overboard tracking and temping for months before TTC, because with swaying, your cycle changes dramatically anyway. No sense putting off TTC if you want to proceed with it, for a method that is not reliable (it has happened to SO many people - they waste 6 months tracking and temping and then the month they start TTC they ovulate early and end up with their attempt right on ovulation!!)

Benedryl is 1-2 hours before attempt, success rates have not been stellar. Sways pink but not overwhelmingly so.

RepHResh every 3 days starting after AF and last dose either 8, 12, 24 hours before (sooner = lower odds of conception). Again, results very underwhelming with this - seems to be neutral, not helping or hurting a pink sway but does drastically lower odds of conception.

All lubes that are not "sperm safe" or "Conception friendly" sway pink. Most use Acijel or Sylk. Results also very underwhelming, appear neutral and seem to cut odds of conception

Also got my girl with girl on top :agree:

RE calcium and magnesium, many of us got opposites in the past using those methods and have moved away from it but if you're sold on it, what I'd do is use cal-mag SUPPLEMENTS and not get it from diet. Dairy foods have tons of other nutrients in them and when you eat a lot, you end up basically swaying boy (more nutritious diet = boys). So if you choose to use this technique, be sure you do just the supps and not the dairy foods.

[atomic sagebrush]

I guess Im just confused how diet can make you conceive a girl. I understand certain foods affecting pH, but the whole idea of making the woman conceive a girl by exercise and lowering calories and skipping breakfast just confuses me. Does it somehow alter the egg to make it more permeable to the XX sperm only? I will look into a plan. I need someone to tell me what to do and when to do it or I'll drive myself nuts. This will be my last baby and I just want a baby girl since I lost my last one so late in pregnancy. I'll start this diet tomorrow because Im looking to lose a little weight anyway. I'm 5'7 and 135 and packed on 10lbs this past year from nursing school!! So I have 6 months to prepare for TTC a baby girl and I will do what I got to.

Nobody knows why gender swaying works. All the people out there who talk about pH and ions, permeability of egg, etc. are making things up. It's just speculation. The only thing that has ever been witnessed in a lab is that XX fertilized eggs develop better than XY fertilized eggs in a lower glucose environment. The rest is all entirely guesswork.

The reason we believe that a lower nutrient diet sways pink is because boy babies need more nutrition from the moment of conception, all through pregnancy, and beyond. So a mom who has access to lots of good quality food has much more chance of a son growing up big and strong than a mom who is just getting enough to remain fertile. Same with exercise - a woman who is having to work very hard to survive may be in a better position to raise a girl (who need less resources). Gently lowering your condition and even your fertility a bit, while still being able to conceive, is yielding way more girls than boys. We don't know the mechanism of how it works in the body, exactly, but our results are showing that this approach works.

[atomic sagebrush]

Here are some essays that explain a lot of this in depth.

Timing debunked here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

pH debunked here:http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/11684-ph-pickle.html

X and Y sperm facts (this further debunks both timing and pH) here
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/swaying-studies-and-scientific-research/1562-what-real-differences-between-x-sperm-y-sperm.html

calcium here (this is a three part series, read all three esp. the third one) http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/610-calcium-conundrum-controversial.html


Here is a LONG essay about the scientific theory underlying the "maternal condition" idea. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/12340-understanding-trivers-willard-hypothesis.html

[rac081011]

Thanks for all the info. I am stressed out already. I think it all just boils down to 50/50 and whatever sperm gets if first...not sure I can convince myself of this swaying stuff as much as I want to. I just feel so hopeless and I haven't even started yet. I guess knowing that this WILL be my last baby and that if it's a boy I'll never have a little girl of my own and it will be devastating. I lost my little girl in the 3rd trimester and we had already had her bedroom done and her clothes bought. On my 3rd pregnancy I was hoping for another little girl but got DS2 and it was the most painful thing ever painting over my little girls pink walls. I dont know what to try and what to avoid for this. I want to try changing my diet but don't know what to eat and not eat...I know low fat and low protein but don't know what is good. I went today and bought my basal body thermometer. I think I'll stick with the BD every 4 days. With DS1 and DS2 we went at it like rabbits, but with DD it was 1 time. Wish me luck girls in figuring this out. I need lots of pink dust for my final try...

[sweetdream]

I'm sorry and understand this is very painfull.

I know how overwhelming this is.
As a mother of 3 amazing boys who actually wanted just three
I knew it was my final shot.
I didnt believe then read a lot of contradicting stuff.
After a while i made a choice. That this site had more logic. And great statistics.
I had a friend with three boys and got a girl with this site.
So i got a personal plan. Wich gave me support and helped me to let go of all the other stuff.
Also ataomic explained everything well or gave me links to essays.

I didnt have a particular boy life style with the boys it was all different (but deffo more then one attemp)
So it made it hard to believe it was possible for me.

But it worked.
I believe that diet and excercise and a one attemp are the most important sway factors.
Excercise increases the diet effects p and changes hornone levels in a good way for pink.
Let it sink in a little and take some time.
I hope you'll have a living daughter soon. A sister for your sons and other daughter.

[rac081011]

Im so tempted to buy a personalized plan but cant convince myseld to dish out that kinda money on something that might not work. So I am researching through this site to put together a plan. So far I got: BD every 4 days after AF, dropping my calories from the 2500 to 3000 calorie diet of complete fatty garbage to 1600 calories of low dat and low protein. I will skip breakfast and eat at about noon. Cardio for 60 mins most days of the week. I'll use a Benedryl on BD days and a nonsperm friendly lube like KY jelly. And maybe a finger swab of Rephresh 8hrs before BD. Anything else I should be doing? Gonna start the diet tomorrow...not sure what to put on my grocery list though...Any other suggestions?

[ImmiNAddi]

Rac - if you can afford it, a plan is definitely the best non stressful way to go :) I know it may not be 100% (70% girl stats are pretty good though) but I know that if it helps me get a girl, then it was $120 (Aus dollars or whatever it cost in the end, I can't remember now... lol) very well spent! Atomic gives you some great advice in a personal forum for just you and her to chat to each other.
Sounds like you have the basics now though, so good luck with what you decide :)

[sweetdream]

You have good sway now. And think about it the plan is including 6 months coaching. Its worth it

[rac081011]

I have a question after reading something on another post. Which is best for a girl sway.... BD every 4 days after the stopping of AF versus just one BD attempt at positive OPK? Just curious...I dont know much about OPKs such as how often to test or what time of day to test etc.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have a question after reading something on another post. Which is best for a girl sway.... BD every 4 days after the stopping of AF versus just one BD attempt at positive OPK? Just curious...I dont know much about OPKs such as how often to test or what time of day to test etc.

We don't know yet and so far I have been having people start off with the stricter option (one attempt at pos OPK, usually with a frequency pattern) and then gradually dropping tactics, eventually switching to the every 4 days. Some people who have trouble with the OPK start with the every 4 days.

I hope that over the next couple months we end up getting more tangible results with the every 4 day (since it's a newer tactic I don't yet have enough hard data to show to people yet) and it may make the decision easier.

[atomic sagebrush]

Rac - if you can afford it, a plan is definitely the best non stressful way to go :) I know it may not be 100% (70% girl stats are pretty good though) but I know that if it helps me get a girl, then it was $120 (Aus dollars or whatever it cost in the end, I can't remember now... lol) very well spent! Atomic gives you some great advice in a personal forum for just you and her to chat to each other.
Sounds like you have the basics now though, so good luck with what you decide :)

Thanks you guys, you're very sweet. I also want people to understand that hosting a site like this costs a lot of money and I do this as my job - every day, 7 days a week usually, not only answering questions but also researching and writing the essays as well. The information is only available to people to make their own plans, because of the hours of work that nuthinbutpink and I have put into it.

I help everyone both free and paid to the best of my ability. The money I make from the plans enables me to do this rather than to go to work and they are always appreciated.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for all the info. I am stressed out already. I think it all just boils down to 50/50 and whatever sperm gets if first...not sure I can convince myself of this swaying stuff as much as I want to. I just feel so hopeless and I haven't even started yet. I guess knowing that this WILL be my last baby and that if it's a boy I'll never have a little girl of my own and it will be devastating. I lost my little girl in the 3rd trimester and we had already had her bedroom done and her clothes bought. On my 3rd pregnancy I was hoping for another little girl but got DS2 and it was the most painful thing ever painting over my little girls pink walls. I dont know what to try and what to avoid for this. I want to try changing my diet but don't know what to eat and not eat...I know low fat and low protein but don't know what is good. I went today and bought my basal body thermometer. I think I'll stick with the BD every 4 days. With DS1 and DS2 we went at it like rabbits, but with DD it was 1 time. Wish me luck girls in figuring this out. I need lots of pink dust for my final try...

I have a full explanation of the "50-50" idea here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/swaying-studies-and-scientific-research/32383-defense-swaying-part-1-a.html

None of us can understand the pain of having a little girl and losing her, I'm so sorry. (((((hugs)))))

I have a short version of LE Diet here and it may help answer some of the diet questions. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html

[rac081011]

Okay thanks.
I will do the 1 attempt at positive OPK...but prior to that what should be done to influence sperm count in favor of a girl conception? ...Ive read about frequent release and abstaining and some others but its all so confusing I cant figure out which to do.

[atomic sagebrush]

I need more info to go off of because this is not a blanket prescription.

Here is a brief overview of the commonly used frequency patterns that may sway pink, but be forewarned that the results have been underwhelming and the most important thing is that sticking to one attempt. :)

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/5636-frequency-bd-pink-blue.html