ttc a girl

[sassy86]

Thank you advising me, I recieved a smiley face this morning which is typical as dh has gone away now and won't be back until Monday evening/Tuesday morning.
I dtd on Sunday at 10pm recived a positive opk the following day at 3pm and got a smiley this morning at 7 am so yoi never know maybe I could still be in with a chance although if I did ovulate late I'm not sure if sperm would survive 5 days (who knows)

[atomic sagebrush]

It would be very unlikely but lets' hope you ovulated sooner than you think! Good luck and pink dust!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi! Apologies for sending you private message, I didn’t realise before I had read the bottom of your page. thank you for reading message. I have been reading lots of your posts. I currently have a little boy who I adore but have suffered post natal depression. I’m absolutely desperate for a girl but also terrified to try again. When I became pregnant with my boy, I was off the pill for at least 7months, always had a relatively good diet. I’m very slim, and also teach dance. I used opk strips and saw a faint line and dtd....only once! Then fell pregnant with a boy!

2.5yrs later, I’m thinking of trying again but worries sick! My hubby is desperate for another child but does not know my sincere desire for a girl. My cycles have always been irregular since coming off pill again - have been off pill since June. I bought ‘OvuSense’ product to track my cycles and so far, cycle 1 no detection of ovulation, cycle 2 ovulated on day 19 and cycle 3, ovulated day 28!! Absolutely no rhyme or reason. Thought I ovulated round about day 19 - day 21??

I purchased the Shettles method book and have been looking at that. I have been having supplements like calcium citrate, cranberry tablets, folic acid and chaste berry. I’ve also been drinking more milk etc but still keeping a low diet.

I’m petrified to do anything.....I was going to stay on LE DIET and dtd on day 11/12 so that the girl sperm may reach by day 19...if that makes sense. If doesn’t happen, then increase days. can you advise me if I’m along the right lines??

Thank you so much. Xx[/QUOTE]

Oh don't worry about it, some people treat my private messages as a way to get free coaching and will post in there constantly but the occasional message is no biggie.

You really can't look at what you were doing when you got your boy - none of these things are magic bullets, they all just up the chances a bit! We do what works best for most people most of the time and have gotten good results that way.

Did you get your period in Cycle One?? Then this means you very likely did ovulate. When did you get your period in relation to when you think you ovulated?? I want to be sure you're detecting the true surge as that may give us more useful information.

Are you having trouble with the Ovusense?? Can I help you with that in any way?? It should work pretty well for most people so I'm worried if it's not operating well for you.

Shettles method does not work and has been completely debunked. It would be very tough to use it with an irregular cycle anyway. Most of us on here got opposites with Shettles (I have 4 Shettles opposites!! both my boys and my girl!) The important thing is to have just one attempt in the fertile window, we don't really know why it works, but it does help. If you want to read the full case against timing, it's here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html If you realy really want to use timing, I'd use your Ovusense fertility monitor and then have an attempt on the second "high" reading rather than waiting for "peak".

THe supplements you've purchased have really not gotten good results for us (everyone must take folic acid, of course) We have really eliminated most of the supplements as they didn't work and caused a lot of side effects. How were you planning to take the cranberry and vitex?? If you MUST take calcium, please use calcium WITHOUT Vitamin D and I would be very cautious drinking more milk to always stay in the limits of LE Diet.

PLEASE do not DTD on CD 11 for a CD 19 ovulation!!! You will have absolutely NO chance of conception doing that. If you must start off with a cutoff, I suggest the method I mentioned above (having sex on the second "high" reading). If you really want to pin it down to a cycle day I would aim at no more than a 3 day cutoff (so CD 16 for CD 19 ovulation). The problem is, when your cycle is irregular, you can't predict when ovulation will occur, so it's like taking a shot in the dark - you very easily could end up ovulating on CD 16 and having had an attempt that day! (luckily, this would not hurt your chances since Shettles doesn't work anyway, but I know that many people would be upset if they didn't hit their cutoff properly)

You probably should start a new thread for your questions just to keep your info separate from Sassy's, so the way to do that is by going to the forums (here's our TTC a girl forum, just to make it easier https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/) and clicking one of them open. That is the part everyone misses - you actually have to open a forum, not a thread, but one of the forums, to get the "start new thread" option. Then you'll see "start new thread" at the top of the page and can start your own thread so we can have all your informtion in one spot!

Welcome to the site!!

[sassy86]

Hi.....so af arrived on Thursday I cant say I was surprised as it turns out I ovulated 6 days after we dtd, our next attempt will be the beginning of Jan my only concern is we are staying with family for four days over Christmas so there will be little exercise and I'm really worried about my LE diet and the food that will be served will be out of my control, the only good thing is there will be lots of alcohol which will help my sway fo you have any other tips that may help?

[atomic sagebrush]

Most people find it's easier to stick with diet on holidays than they expect. Since everything feels like a treat it's very possible to go out, enjoy everything you eat, and still have not exceeded the limits of the day! Plus, keep in mind that cheating on holidays or when eating with relatives is not only allowed but encouraged https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/62454-guide-cheating-blue-pink.html

4 days is nothing. Just do your best and then go back to it after you're home again. I would have no qualms about that at all.

[sassy86]

Oh that's good to know, I also havent had much time to exercise as it's been so busy with the lead up to Christmas I'm just anxious that I havent been able to exercise and my diet has been really poor but I havent put any weight on I'm still losing a little. I'm hoping the fact that I havent been able to exercise as much as I did last month when I was very strict with it wont hurt my sway too much

[sassy86]

Hi, ee are olanning to have our attempt tomorrow evening/Wednesday early hours as it's new years eve we probably wont be home until about 1am, the concern I have is that we are going to friends to order an Indian I know we have to be careful because of the onions amd garlic which I have been avoiding can you reccomend a dish that would be best?

[atomic sagebrush]

The onions and garlic are not a big deal at all. I only keep them in the mix for those still trying to keep to the "old school" sway diets. Have whatever you like (vegan or vegetarian options are of course best) and don't give a thought to the onion or garlic at all.

[sassy86]

Excellent thank you, I ojow you said that freqency hasnt really worked but dh inf0rmed me that for the past 4 days he has released on his own do yoi think it would be best to continue that pattern and get him to release tomorrow morning before we have our attempt roughly 16hrs later

[atomic sagebrush]

It's fine if you want to try that, I don't think it does a whole lot (does cut odds of conception) but I am ok with it if you are.

[sassy86]

We had our attempt about 1.30am this morning I had a positive opk straight after and I had a positive clearblue this morning, I really was hoping for more of a cut off as both my boys were conceived on ovulation day, I ovulated 2 days early this Monty which never happens. Also I feel a bit rubbish as my diet wasnt great over xmas as we were staying with family and I havent been able to exercise.

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, that timing with the OPK means you did have a cutoff of likely about 2 days so that's all good!

I think you likely did much better than you think! Good luck and pink dust headed your way!

[sassy86]

Ah ok that makes me feel better, I actually keep reading that plenty of girls were conceived on ovulation day and lots pf boys with a cut off so hopefully be in for a chance, thank yoi very much and happy new year

[atomic sagebrush]

Yep scientists have proven timing doesn't work, 50-50 boys and girls conceived every day of fertile window. Got my girl very near to O and 3 boys with cutoffs

[sassy86]

Feel much better now thank you, just a shame about my diet as I was doing so well but unfortunately it's all out of my hands

[sassy86]

I know it's hard to say for sure,but how important is the diet around ovulation as I was doing so well with the diet until xmas eve and then I went away for Christmas and well the diet went out the window really although I was very careful to have at least 12-14 between eating the eve before amd the following morning, I dtd a couple of days ago and I keep thinking I have completely ruined my sway

[atomic sagebrush]

It is not important at all. We know it's not, because people on diet 2-4 weeks (even when they were very strict) got poor results compared to those on 12 weeks or more (even though most of them relaxed on diet over time.) It is no biggie at all, please don't worry about it.

[sassy86]

That's good to know, thank you

[sassy86]

I was just having a general read today, some say chocolate isnt good is this true? I was eating a lot of it I just craved it I was still losing weight

[atomic sagebrush]

I was just having a general read today, some say chocolate isnt good is this true? I was eating a lot of it I just craved it I was still losing weight

We originally started off thinking that nutrients in things like chocolate might sway. But over time we've learned it's really the big ticket things like calories, protein, and fat that sway (and the heavy fortification in heavily fortified foods like cereal, vitamins, power bars) and NOT the naturally occuring nutrients in things like chocolate, red wine, fruit/veg, that kind of thing.

So, while most of us do still avoid dark chocolate just in case, I do think it's ok to have white and milk chocolate (and honestly dark choc is probably fine too)

[sassy86]

Hi so I came on 5 days early this month (it never happens) it's a shame as I thought I could be pregnant, I really dont know what to do now and am after some advice.......dh had told me last month that if we didnt conceive this month then we would have to leave it for a few months as he didnt want us having a baby between October and Jan as he will be working away a lot but work has now changed and he is now saying that we can have one more go but the problem I have is I have completely fallen off the diet amd exercise since christnas I was doing so well up until Christmas eve I was being strict but since then I havent got back onto it as I didnt think we would be trying for a few months i have been eating more rubbish and even added in a 3rd meal which was usually a bowl of coco pops or rice krispies and now I really dont know what to do I dont know whether to go for it when i next ovulate in 2 weeks or wait a few months and get back on the diet, I just worry that dh will change his mind again about having another baby if we dont tty again this month
Ps sorry for the long post

[atomic sagebrush]

3 meals is allowed. Both 2 and 3 meals are both fine. That is not cheating. I got my daughter with 3 meals.

The cereal isn't ideal but I certainly don't think you should skip all that time!! Just go ahead and try, that's what I would do. Your call to make of course but I would not take the chance on putting DH off by getting particular about the attempt. :)

[sassy86]

Thanks atomic for your quick response as always, I have actually just weighed myself and I havent put any weight on which I'm surprised about and I guess that's a good think.....my typical diet lately has been a bowl of cocopops or rice crispies
Lunch is usually 2 slicea of toast and a chocolate bar or crisps
Dinner is pasta/rice and chicken, bolognese pr chicken wraps and then maybe a handful of harribo
Lots of wine and diet coke and also a couple of slices of cake a a week
Dh has been having 2 eggs a day (does that matter if so I'll get him to stop for the next two weeks)
The only exercise I have done is two days ago I started running for 1 mile twice a week, should I give up the running and just do a brisk walk

Looking at this maybe it doesnt look too bad I suppose, is there things that you would change or do you think it wont make a difference now as my attempt os only in 12/14 days?

[sassy86]

Also have been eating a lot of milk chocolate, should I cut down on that?
Dh has stopped dribking since new year should I get him back on the alcohol?

[atomic sagebrush]

No that's really not bad at all, you were probably in the limits most of the time anyway.

I would keep walking and try to get to 4 days a week if possible.

I would def. drop the cereal as the fortificaion in it may sway BLUE!

Milk choc is fine within limits.

DH drinking may sway pink.

[sassy86]

Sorry just wanted to double check as wasnt sure qhat you meant......did you mean the fortifaction would sway blue not pink?

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry just wanted to double check as wasnt sure qhat you meant......did you mean the fortifaction would sway blue not pink?

Yes, sorry!!! Duhhhh

[sassy86]

Lol I thought that's what you ment,
Is it ok for dh to have eggs or should I ask him to stop?
The last two attempts have been one attempt only (although I think my first month was far too sway from ovulation, and my last attempt 2 weeks ago was 1 attempt at pos opk) both times dh was releasing everyday. For my next attempt should I have a few bds and cut off 2/3 days before or stick to the 1 attempt at pos opk but maybe not have dh release everyday also we have been using ky jelly and dh has been heating up his bits lol

[atomic sagebrush]

He might want to cut back a little but if he's given up meat he doesnt need to.

I would advise dropping the daily release and having hubby release every 2-4 days, keeping the one attempt at positive OPK

You may want to skip the heating the nuts at this point as it may be killing off too many sperm.

[sassy86]

Ok thank you, unfortunately he hasnt cut back on meat but he said he will ease up on the eggs, I'm still eating chicken buy heeping to the limits

[atomic sagebrush]

Hubs' diet is really not that big of a deal. :) I wouldn't make a major issue of it if it's something he enjoys.

[sassy86]

Ok thank you so moving forward stop him releasing eveyday, stop the heat and just 1 attempt at pos opk

[atomic sagebrush]

Yep that's what I'd try next. Then if that doesn't work we can revisit it.

[sassy86]

Thanks again, should I still do j&d and am i ok to still use a little ky jelly

[atomic sagebrush]

How soon are you doing J and D?

KY is up to you. It does cut odds of conception but if you're using a small amount it probably does so very little. You could also switch over to small amount of Preseed if you need a lube but don't want to chance killing sperm. Small amounts don't seem to sway blue so just use the minimum amount.

[sassy86]

We used quite a bit of Ky on our last two attempts so should I just use a little or switch over to preseed, the only reason I went with Ky as i know 3 of my friends use that and they have all girls.
Also is dh ok to carry on with olive extract?
The 1st attempt I got up straight away and second attempt I go up after 5 mins.

[sassy86]

Also the day we dtd would it be beneficial to really keep the blood sugars low that day if possible and go for a long walk also would it be a good idea for me to avoid alcohol that day to stop my blood sugars rising?
Should I add rephresh into my sway or leave it out (I actually used it when I conceived my ds)

[sassy86]

Also (sorry a million questions lol) dh still drinks peppermint tea once a day as he enjoys it, is it still ok to drink that?
And if we stop frequent release and he releases every 2-4 days will that make more boy friendly sperm?

[atomic sagebrush]

I'd cut back on it, I don't think you're ready to go to Preseed just yet if you've been using a lot so far.

Fine to continue with OLE

I'd give it at least 5 min before J and D, up to you if you want to extend it

No, it is not beneficial to keep blood sugar low the day of ovulation. If anything we did for one day mattered, we would only diet for one day. We see very clearly a demarkation between 2-4 weeks on diet (even when those people are very strict) and 12+ weeks on diet (virtually all of whom were more relaxed), and if one day could possibly matter at all we would not see that. The people on diet 2-4 weeks got as much as 20% lower results than those on diet 12 weeks or more.

Now is when we'd start giving up things that cut odds of conception and do nothing like RepHresh. Don't add it in now.

Pep tea 1x a day for DH is ok.

No, it makes 50-50 X and Y sperm. It might raise sperm count which may sway more blue, but the thing is we have seen point blank that daily release doesn't do anything anyway so it's something to drop to boost odds of conception. The important thing is that you guys do one attempt, and it makes no sense to continue doing things like daily release which don't even work, while cutting odds of conception with one attempt. Too often, people continue doing things like daily release for a very long time, and then add attempts to get pregnant (adding attempts may sway blue) or worse, end up panicking and dropping everything in order to get pregnant. It's best to drop things gradually over time that don't work like daily release.

[sassy86]

Thank you for all your advise and taking the time AGAIN lol that actually makes sense about the frequent release and adding attempts as with our last ds as dh had abstained for 8 fays and we had our attempt and the following day he released outside of me and we had another attempt, do you think that it was the 2 attempts that could have swayes blue or the hurry up release after abstaining that could of swayed?
If dh can manage it do you think that releasing every other day before our attempt could sway a little pink or shall he do release every 2 -4 days befpre pur attenpt?

[atomic sagebrush]

I can't tell anyone what swayed blue for them. Just beyond my ability to know.

There is no difference between every other day and every 2-4. Every other day would still tend to "sway blue" if any of the frequency patterns swayed which they don't. Remember how they didn't work anyway?? They do nothing.

[sassy86]

Ah ok I see so om guessing there is no need to get so hung up on the frequency pattern and just focus on the one attempt

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes.

[sassy86]

We are due to have pur attempt this evening, dh has been drinking a couple of vodkas and lemonade since Christmas but tonight he is working till quite late should he still have a beer before our attempt or do you think the alcohol would still have an affect from all the times he has been drinking?

[sassy86]

He has actually just messaged me to say he has picked up another bottle of vodka ao if he needs to he can have a couple before our attempt this evening......I dont think he has ever drank this much especially vodka lol

[atomic sagebrush]

It makes no difference, I'd do whichever option you prefer

[sassy86]

��typical.....I was due to get a strong positive this evening and have our attempt but I have just checked amd there is a line but it isnt a strong line my ovulatuon seems to be all over the place, do you think I would be in my fertile window or do you think I should wait and test again tomorrow?

[atomic sagebrush]

Unless you have reason to believe you're going to ovulate within the next day I'd wait and see what happens tomorrow.

[sassy86]

It was never this hard with my boys lol I'm trying to keep dh on board he is starting to get in patient now as I said we would be dtd this evening I'll test again in a couple of hours amd see if there is a darker line, I have always been exact with my dates but these past two months have completely been thrown of track

[sassy86]

So dh and I decided to have our attempt this afternoon unfortunately there still wasnt a dark line but there was a faint line, dh is going away this evening amd isnt back until early hours of Sunday morning so I was worried i would miss mu chance, he realsed 2 days ago we only used a little ky jelly and I layed down for 10 mins I hope that was all ok

[atomic sagebrush]

Yep! I'd have another attempt 72 hours after this one (I think this will be Monday but dont' want to mess it up with the time zones for you)

[sassy86]

Oh ok, I'll do that but say I get a pos opk tomorrow would that not be be two attenpts in fertile window?

[sassy86]

Its 9pm friday eve here at the moment and I had my attenpt 1pm uk time today

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh ok, I'll do that but say I get a pos opk tomorrow would that not be be two attenpts in fertile window?

Wait 72 hours after the attempt you've had already. Don't have an attempt with positive OPK.

[sassy86]

Thanks ��

[sassy86]

I got my first smiley face on my digital clear blue (the one that detects your two most fertile days) at noon today (sunday) which is exactly 48hrs after my attempt, I have also had ewcm for the past 2/3 days not as much as ususl but I'm guessing that it may be because of my diet. I'm just wondering if my attempt would still be in my fertile window because I'm worried that if I have another attempt tomorrow that will be 2 attempts in my fertile window? Do you think I should leave it now that I have had a smiley face 48hrs after my attempt?

Do you think Tuesday would be better to have an attempt which would be 96hrs or do you think I could still be in with a chance ftom the 1 attempt on Friday?

[atomic sagebrush]

You will have a very slim chance of conception going from Friday to Tuesday. If you ovulate on Monday/early Tues the odds are you won't get pregnant from that Friday attempt and then by the time you have an attempt late on Tuesday you'll miss the month.

That is why I recommended what I did.

You are always welcome to do what you want but it is NOT 2 attempts in the fertile window really to have two attempts 72 hours apart. The reason is that if there is any sperm left from the Friday attempt, it will fertilize the egg before the sperm from the next attempt has time to capacitate and make it to the egg. If there isn't, then the Monday attempt will have time to capacitate and reach the egg. Tuesday is quite a long wait. Your call.

[sassy86]

Thank you for that advice, ok so I'll have another attempt tomorrow

[sassy86]

Typical, I think someone up there doesnt want us tp get pregnant this month lol dh has just called to say that he has to go for a meeting up north this afternoon and wont be back till Wednesday morning, I was hoping that when he popped bavk to pack a bag we could have an attempt but unfortunately that wont be happening as he is leaving in an hour and I'm stuck at a school show and tell with ds1. It's all out of my hands, I jad an attempt Friday afternoon had a positive opk yesterday so I think I have probably missed my window this month.

[atomic sagebrush]

Just have another attempt when he gets back in case of delayed O!

[sassy86]

Ok will do, thank you, you never know maybe there will be some strong swimmers that have lasted.....we shall see

[sassy86]

Hi so Af arrived I didn't think we would be in with a chance this month even so Im still disappointed but it was out of my control, dh still doesnt want to try until end of April as he is away a lot with work November/December so he doesn't want to have a baby those months as he wouldn't be home which I do understand but I'm just a little upset we will have a couple of months before we can start trying again but it's out of my hands

[atomic sagebrush]

OH, I'm sorry to hear that! I'd have you relax somewhat on diet in the meantime!!

[sassy86]

Ok I will do, I worked it out to be about 10 weeks until our next attempt so do you think I should relax on the diet for just a coupleyod weeks or up my intake on protein amd fat until my next attempt?

[sassy86]

I also wondering whether to get dh to drop alcohol or maybe just see how we go qhen we try again in a couple of months

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok I will do, I worked it out to be about 10 weeks until our next attempt so do you think I should relax on the diet for just a coupleyod weeks or up my intake on protein amd fat until my next attempt?

I'd relax for a month and then when it's 6 weeks get stricter again

Dropping alcohol is up to DH. I don't know what is best either way.

[sassy86]

Dh is going back to gym this week, shall i reccomend for him to only do cardio?

[atomic sagebrush]

The exercise stuff matters way more for you. Jogging and biking are very good for pink for hubbies, though.

[sassy86]

Ok great ill start my exercise back up then i was having a little break while i relaxed on my diet slightly

[sassy86]

Hi all I really hope everyone is doing ok, so because of this uncertain time we have decided to postpone trying until july/August, I hadnt started back on the diet yet but obviously need to get back on it, it's just so hard now trying to stick to diet and exercise now the kids are both at home

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes a lot of people are having that challenge - how can I help?

[sassy86]

Thank you atomic I think it's more me just being focused, I dobt know if you remember but after not falling lsst time you mentioned about just doing the diet for a month before is that still ok to do that or should I try doing it for longer?

[atomic sagebrush]

While we have best results with diet 12 weeks or more, a lot of people start off with 6 weeks because they may not even get pregnant that first month on diet. It's your call to make - def. more pink friendly with 6 weeks or more on diet.

[sassy86]

Hi Atomic I starting to concentrate a little bit more on the diet would you mind if I asked a question I wasnt too sure on.........so from my understanding it's best to keep blood sugar levels low, if I was to it eat a chocolate, cake, ice cream etc would it be best to eat it instead of a meal for eg lunch as I know they cause levels to spike and then drop, would it be better to eat straight after a meal so that you arent snacking but then I worry that if I had sugar with a low protein and carb meal it would keep my levels high?

[atomic sagebrush]

You can have sugar either with a meal or as a meal. (but only if you don't have PCOS, more than 30-50 lbs to spare, insulin resistance, or some other reason to believe your body isn't good at lowering its blood sugar after eating sugar)

Don't worry about having cake with a meal, that is totally fine

[sassy86]

Ok thank you

[sassy86]

Can you do the pcos diet even if you dont gave pcos or 30-50lbs to spare or would you not advise it unless you have to?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes absolutely, I would actually prefer to see everyone on it, but it's harder for many people to stick with. If you can do it without losing too much weight, go for it!

[sassy86]

Ok I might give that ok, so would you advise against sugar and am I still ok to have a small amount of white carbs

[atomic sagebrush]

The alternate diet is meant to be done with no sugar and no white carbs. But that having been said, if you're doing it for other reasons than moderate to severe PCOS or 30-50 lbs to spare, you can usually get away with small amounts of sugar and white carbs. Also, since white rice and particularly pasta is generally well tolerated (unlike white flour and sugar) many people without severe PCO can handle white rice and pasta as well.

[sassy86]

Hello, I hope you are all well......dh has started drinking an espresso every morning with a drop of milk, will that affect our ssay at all? Also we purchased a hot tub and he goes in iy most evenings I'm just wondering if that will make things harder to conceive so I'm wondering whether he should not use it whilst we are trying?
Thank you

[atomic sagebrush]

Those things should only help a pink sway, but yes, you're right in that too much hot tub action can kill off sperm. I would use it very sparingly till u get that BFP!

[sassy86]

Ok thank you we are due to start trying agaun the end of this month, so do you think I should let him use it this month and see what happens in case it actually helps our sway and if we don't conceive then stop using it xx

[atomic sagebrush]

That's your call to make, though you've been at this for a while now so my gut is for you to skip the things that aren't really proven.

[sassy86]

Well we actually haven't been trying since last December, we was due to start again March time but due to the pandamic we put it on hold so now hoping to start trying again.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh I gotcha, ok well in that case follow your gut instinct!

[sassy86]

Thanks atomic x

[sassy86]

Can I just check, are we able to bd and use protection throughout the cycle and then just have 1 attempt at pos opk?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes

[sassy86]

Dh and I have started to drink a starbucks chilled espresso every morning, sometimes the caramel one sometimes just a regular espresso should I be drinking the regular one which has sugar or the no added sugar one, it's the only thing I have until lunch time?

[atomic sagebrush]

I would stick to the sugar free one, if you're not having it with a meal.

[sassy86]

So if I only had lunch and dinner (2 meals) could i include the cofee with sugar as a meal? Or best to still just have the sugar free one?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, you absolutely could count it as a meal.

[sassy86]

Thank you as always atomic for taking the time to reply

[sassy86]

Can I ask if caffeine has any affect on the sperm, I know for dw coffee sways pink, I have tried to find info on coffee for dh but cant seem to find anything on this site about men drinking coffee, I know the old way of thinking was that men that dribk coffee produce more Male sperm but I'm not sure if that's still the case or has been debunked?

[sassy86]

Sorry not to worry I have just found an artical where you say cafferine doesn't sway blue

[atomic sagebrush]

I have seen NO reliable evidence that caffeine sways blue and plenty of evidence that indicates it may sway pink.

It was never that men who drink coffee make more male sperm, but more that the sperm swim faster which supposedly favors the Y sperm. But this is based on the notion that Y sperm swim faster, which has been debunked. It's also been proven that the fastest sperm that reach the egg immediately die upon getting there, for reasons we do not understand at all.

[sassy86]

Ok great thank you, I'll get him to continue drinking double espresso, if only I could get him put jogging I would feel much happier but unfortunately he just doesnt have the time at the mthe moment he has even cancelled his gym membership

[sassy86]

Dh has been using hottubs a lot lately which I'm guessing may actually help a little, but would it be ok for me to join him or is there a risk that the chlorine could interfere with me?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes that should sway pink for him.

Some have suggested that hot tubs could affect pH - but the thing is, pH has not even worked for us at all so I think it is fine.

Do be aware though that hot tubs too often can cut odds of conception to nothing by killing off a man's sperm, and additionally you should not do a hot tub when pregnant.

[sassy86]

Oh ok thank you, I'll let him do it this month and if we dont conceive then maybe ill get him to drop it next month.
Thank you

[sassy86]

I'm due to ovulate around the 30th of Aug so should get a pos opk 27th/28th so my plan is to let him sit in the hot tub as he has been doing that most evenings anyway but I'll will also give him a few drinks and we will have our 1 attempt that night, I was thinking of getting him to release on his own a few hours before but I know you said frequency doesnt sway too much is that still the case or should I still give it a go? I wont be using any replens or rephresh as I know you said that doesnt help a sway

[sassy86]

Hi ya, I found something interesting in my notes last night from my last pregnancy/birth, when my ds was born I had ketones show up in my urine and also he was born a low birth weight with low sugar levels could that mean that I have a naturally high sugar level. I'm due to have my attempt in 2 weeks I'm wondering if that's something I need to think about?

[sassy86]

Also, sorry atomic I know I always have a ton of questions if I did decide to jump in the hot tub before pur attempt would it be worth adding rephresh an hour before or is there not really much point or should 8 just be on the safe side and avoid the hot tub altogether and just let dh go in?

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm due to ovulate around the 30th of Aug so should get a pos opk 27th/28th so my plan is to let him sit in the hot tub as he has been doing that most evenings anyway but I'll will also give him a few drinks and we will have our 1 attempt that night, I was thinking of getting him to release on his own a few hours before but I know you said frequency doesnt sway too much is that still the case or should I still give it a go? I wont be using any replens or rephresh as I know you said that doesnt help a sway

You've been at this a while now Sassy and I think it's time to drop things like having a release and dumping it before the attempt. I think that coupled wit the hot tub would very likely yield NO chance of conceiving.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi ya, I found something interesting in my notes last night from my last pregnancy/birth, when my ds was born I had ketones show up in my urine and also he was born a low birth weight with low sugar levels could that mean that I have a naturally high sugar level. I'm due to have my attempt in 2 weeks I'm wondering if that's something I need to think about?

No it isn't and that finding is very common in pregnancy.

[atomic sagebrush]

Also, sorry atomic I know I always have a ton of questions if I did decide to jump in the hot tub before pur attempt would it be worth adding rephresh an hour before or is there not really much point or should 8 just be on the safe side and avoid the hot tub altogether and just let dh go in?

I think that adding jellies at this point would seriously cut your odds of conception.

[sassy86]

Thank you for your replies, that's good to know about the sugar levels ��, ah we only tried once before xmas amd I think I ovulated late and actually stopped trying due to covid but decided to just go ahead and try this month as we still dont know how long this will be going on for. So as its only our second go at trying would ypu try using frequent release and rephresh this month and if it doenst work then droo it next month or would you just drop them altogether, this is definitely my last baby so I want to give it my best shot

[sassy86]

My apologies I have just re read over some old posts amd noticed that you have said you have moved away from the rephresh as it isnt helping

[atomic sagebrush]

It's your call to make. I don't believe in FR and RepHresh any more as they cut odds of conception and don't work, so it's easy for me to consider not using them, but I understand that a lot of people want to give them a go before giving up on them. Totally at your discretion

[sassy86]

Ok I'll have a little think and maybe leave them out, is it just that cut conception or is there a chance they could potentially sway blue?

[atomic sagebrush]

They cut conception.

[sassy86]

Ok.........so I really feel like I'm driving my self crazy (and probably you) with all the questions, I feel like I know what I'm doing well sort of lol. This will be our 1st attempt this year I'm due to ovulate in just under two weeks so this will be my attempt if all goes well.....
1 attempt at pos opk
I have been put walking most days
Dh has done no exercise due to busy at work
We have both been drinking a lot more alcohol
I have lost a few pound, dh has gained a few pound
He has drastically cut down on protein
He is takkng ole daily
Dh has been using hot tub every other day
Dh is releasing every other day, he has an extremely high sex drive (drive me crazy as I literally have zero sez drive)
Dw folic acid
Dw and dh have started drinking coffee everyday and having no tea at all
Night of attempt dh will release and then go in hot tub for an hour with a vodka and I will have a hot shower and then we will have our attempt with a tiny bit of ky jelly as we usually have to use lube anyway
I will not use repleans or rephresh
I am taking hayfever tablets everyday anyway as I suffer with hayfever

Am I good to go?

Would it be beneficial for me to take cranberry supplements from af to ovulation and also would coq10 help as I have aeen a few ladies taking them?
Thanks atomic

[atomic sagebrush]

All that is looking great, we believe KY is swaying pink anyway and no need for that + other jellies

Cranberry supplements do nothing and may cause miscarriage or even harm your health when taken AF-O and dropped suddenly, and since they may cause miscarriage when taken into pregnancy you HAVE TO take them in that pattern anyway. Since they have huge potential to harm for no benefit, please do not use them

I only use coq10 for people who have issues with egg quality due to high blood sugar. Otherwise it's considered a blue sway supp and I don't think the average swayer needs to or should take them

[sassy86]

Oh wow I didnt realise cranberry can cause harm I wont include them. Ok great so I'll just use Ky jelly and not the other jellies.
Thank you fpr taking the time to reply, I did think about holding off a month and trying to get dh out jogging but hopefully we are doing enough that ot shouldn't be too much of a hige deal as I didnt really want to wait any longer

[sassy86]

Hi atomic, I have started to get quite a lot of ewcm amd have noticed line on opk getting slightly darker but still not quite positive yet, I have a feeling my the morning it will be positive so would it be ok to go ahead and bd in the morning or should I wait for the evening? I read somewhere that testorone is higher in the morning I just wondered what your thoughts are on this?
Thank you

[atomic sagebrush]

Testosterone has never been proven to sway and certainly not those kinds of daily fluctuations. Remember, swaying works because it sends a signal to our bodies about what gender offspring has the best chance of living to adulthood and successfully passing down genes to future generations, and in that paradigm there is no room for a boy at 8am and a boy at 8pm. Either a boy has a better chance than a girl or a girl has a better chance, if that makes sense, and it takes TIME to alter that signal, not just a few hours in the day.

[sassy86]

Oh thats good to know, so we ended up bd last night as I had run out of sticks yesterday afternoon and the last one that we tested had a slight line, my sticks arrived this morning and have tested and a slightly darker line but not the darkest should I bd again or just leave it at that?

[sassy86]

I have a feeling it will be positive in a few hours or tomorroq morning as the line is getting darker each time

[atomic sagebrush]

Is it positive though? Positive is as dark or darker than control. Wait for first positive.

NOT just a faint line. Faint lines aren't positive. Only when the test line is as dark or darker than control.

But it doesn't have to be the darkest positive you get. Just the first one.

[sassy86]

No it wasnt quite positive but because I ran out of sticks I panicked so we dtd last night, I got some more sticks today and they are still not quite positive but very close so I dont know whether to have anither attempt or leave it at that

[atomic sagebrush]

Keep testing. If you get a true positive within the next two days, stick with the attempt you had. If it's 4 or more then please have another attempt. If it's in that no man's land of 3 days, either use the rule of thumb "for best chance of pink, stick with the attempt, for better chance conception add an attempt" or flip a coin if you really can't decide.

[sassy86]

So I had positive opk and also a positive clear blue at around 4pm today so roughly 43 hrs after my attempt so I'm guessing it best to leave it at that?

[atomic sagebrush]

I generally recommend sticking with the attempt in this case but it's up to you, just use that rule of thumb "for best chance of pink stick with the attempt I had, for best odds of conception have another attempt"

[sassy86]

Hello, unsure of what to do......so I had what i thought was a line on my opk on Sunday evening so we dtd but it seems like the next day and the day after that the line was getting stronger and stronger and even today there is a dark line do you think we bd too early, I'm a little worried that adding another attempt in will lower my chance of having a girl would it be best to just leave it at that and see what happens?

[atomic sagebrush]

I'd have an attempt today. You are far enough from your previous attempt that it will still be one attempt. Conceiving from that far away is impossible, please have another attempt!

[sassy86]

I have just done another opk test and the line has faded quite a bit so does that mean I have already ovulated, I have looked at all the opks together as I took a screen shot of them all and inwould say my darkest line was last night so roughly 48hrs after my bd would you suggest to still have another attempt or chance it and leave it at that for this month?

[atomic sagebrush]

The rate at which your test goes negative does not tell you if you've ovulated or not. You can have tests that go negative and not have ovulated yet, and tests that are still positive after ovulation. The hormone being measured is not directly tied to ovulation in the way you're thinking of it.

You still need to have another attempt.

[sassy86]

Thanks atomic.

[sassy86]

So af arrived this morning, I'm so annoyed as we couldnt get that extra attempt in due to have a bad throat infection so we only ended up with 1 attempt 3 days before ovulation, this month I am 100% going to make sure we wait until I can a true positive on ovulation stick, is there anything else that could help do you think maybe dh should avoid hot tubs and also we releases on his own very ofter either every day or every other day should I ask him to cut back on that.......we are both drinking coffee and alcohol that's something I would rather not cut out as that seems to sway he also takes OLE......I think that the reason we didn't conceive is probably that we tried to far before ovulation.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I'd have him drop hot tubs and extend the amount of time between releases to every 2 days.

I agree that was not a close enough attempt. FX for better chances next month!

[sassy86]

Thank you, I'll get him to avoid hot tubs and make sure we do once I get a positive.....is it as soon as I get a line or do I wait for the darkest line? Also is it still ok to use a tiny amount of ky jelly?
Thank you

[atomic sagebrush]

The first positive. The OPK is positive when the test line is as dark or darker than control.

KY Jelly does cut odds of conception. If you need a lube that doesn't kill sperm you may want to try a very small amount of Preseed or Conceive Plus. Larger amounts may sway blue so please use the barest minimum for comfy intercourse.

[sassy86]

I honestly feel like I could give up, dh was keeping on about bd more times as he has a high sex drive I explained that I only want to bd 1 during my fertile window so we agreed to bd earlier in the cycle and then just 1 attempt in fertile window, I usually ovulate day 16/17 so we bd cd10 and cd11 and though that would be ok as then if I bd day 16 that would still be 1 attempt but I just did an ovulation test and it starting to get dark now at 17.30 on CD 12 and now I'm not sure whether to add another attempt this month or not, I really wish I had waited but I felt pressured by dh, I'm really hoping that it's still another couple of darks before i get a true positive and then i can have another attempt but by looking at that I'm wondering if it will go positive tomorrow?

[atomic sagebrush]

I can't tell you when it will go fully positive. I would just wait for the true positive and have attempt at that point. I suspect it won't be till tomorrow at the soonest, which would put your O Day CD 14. The attempts from CD 10 and 11 would no longer count then.

[sassy86]

Ok so I have got my first positive today its 4pm uk time ( I never get a positive opk this esrly in my cycle) and I'm on CD 13 my last 2 bds were cd10 in evening and cd CD 11 in the evening so shall 8 go ahead and have another attempt this evening will it still be only one attempt in my fertile window, amd also should he have a hot bath and a release first just to lower the sperm count or not to worry about all that?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes please have an attempt today. I do think it could technically end up being 2 attempts CD 11 and 13, but with a CD 14 or even 15 ovulation your chances of conception would be microscopic without this attempt.

As we already discussed, you need to drop things like hot baths and too frequent releases now.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I'd have him drop hot tubs and extend the amount of time between releases to every 2 days.

I agree that was not a close enough attempt. FX for better chances next month!

Please do not ADD in hot bath or another release now. it is time for you to drop these things

[sassy86]

Thank you we went ahead with our attempt this evening and will just have to wait and see what happenes. Last month I ended up having an attempt 2 days before positive opk and didnt conceive so hopefully it will just work out that its 1 attempt amd like you say its probably unlikely to conceive without todays attempt.....I cant change it now its just typical that this is the only month we had extra bds and I end up ovulatimg early.

[atomic sagebrush]

Honestly, you guys have been at this for a while (even tho I know you took some time off) it makes sense to have an extra attempt anyway!

[sassy86]

Thanks atomic again for all your help, I'm just so annoyed with myself for having those extra attempts and not just waiting for a pos opk I have been working so hard not to do this, I feel like I have blown it but what's done is done i cant change it.

[sassy86]

The only things that make me feel slightly better apart fr9my diet is dh diet and lifestyle being completely different to when we had our boys, he drinks so much more, has coffee, hasn't been to the gym in months, has cut down on protein and now has hot showers. Also as I possibly ovulated today CD 14 im hoping that there wasnt much sperm left from CD 10 and 11, and it's just the batch from CD 13

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks atomic again for all your help, I'm just so annoyed with myself for having those extra attempts and not just waiting for a pos opk I have been working so hard not to do this, I feel like I have blown it but what's done is done i cant change it.

Honestly you are not in a bad place, nothing is wrong with how you did it!!! Haven't blown anything at all!

[atomic sagebrush]

The only things that make me feel slightly better apart fr9my diet is dh diet and lifestyle being completely different to when we had our boys, he drinks so much more, has coffee, hasn't been to the gym in months, has cut down on protein and now has hot showers. Also as I possibly ovulated today CD 14 im hoping that there wasnt much sperm left from CD 10 and 11, and it's just the batch from CD 13

and if it ends up being CD 15 which is entirely likely it will be even farther out! U did the right thing having attempt, completely!

[sassy86]

Thank you again for replying, I must be driving you crazy.....I'm ccertainly driving my hubby crazy haha......I had a negative opk this morning and had a few pains yesterday so I'm guessing that means I ovulated yesterday which was CD 14 but I suppose there is no way to know for sure

[atomic sagebrush]

The rate the OPK go negative do not tell you if you ovulated or not. The OPK just measure the hormone that signals your body TO ovulate, then it releases the egg (and sometimes DOESN'T) on its own timeline. So you can have a positive test after ovulation and a negative test when you haven't ovulated yet. The OPK are not directly tied to ovulation the way people think of it.

O pains can happen before, during, and after ovulation. They also don't tell you when you ovulated unfortunately.

[sassy86]

Oh ok that's interesting and actually good to know as there is a possibility that just because my test went negative and had o pains it doesnt necessary mean I 100% ovulated that day maybe there is a possibility that I ovulated the day after which would be even better. I'm just holding onto the fact that my first two attempts nothing was left from that so I only had one attempt as in previous months when I tried 2 days before a pos opk I didnt conceive so hopefully hubby's sperm isnt actually surviving that long these days......its funny as he had super sperm years ago when we conceived our boys, but he didn't drink, ate healthily, didnt drink coffee and constantly worked out, he Iis doing the complete opposite now so maybe its had an affect on his sperm....who knows.

You are full of very useful info Atomic

[sassy86]

Sorry just need to vent, just having a down day today and dh doesnt understands at all and thinks I'm over thinking it which I probably am. I have seen loads of successful boy sways with my frequency patterms I could kick myself I have spent months looking and working out this sway and previous months I have had to bd a couple of days before pos opk due to dh work and being away and this was the first month where he wouldnt be going away and I can plan it to a T and have my 1 and only attempy at pos opk but I completely feel I messed it up by bding cd10 and CD11 and the bding on cd13 which was just a few hours before my pos opk, I'm just so annoyed that I bd on cd10 and cd11 I should of just waited.....sorry I know there isnt much to say and what will be will be i just needed to vent.

[atomic sagebrush]

You can find loads of boy sways with ALL frequency patterns. Please don't take this seriously at all. I think you did the right thing and I would have advised you to do exactly what you did. BTW it is normal to feel very self-critical and anxious right after ovulation so this is very possibly due to hormonal fluctuations!

[Thirdtimelucky01]

I’ve just noticed this thread and I wanted to reassure you sassy86 that you did great and you did what you could. If you look into apr/may/June 2021 due date group you will see lots of perfect sways with 1 attempt at positive OPK which ended up being a boy, so just having 1 attempt at positive OPK is no guarantee that it will work! Lots of factors go into each sway. Hang in there! My fingers are crossed for you :) [emoji177]


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[sassy86]

Thank you both for taking the time out to reassure me I actuallu feel a bit better today thank you, I was just curious as when I was looking back over the sways that ewcm was mentioned does that seem to sway as I have always had quite a bit and this month when we had a our attempt I had it too, maybe slightly less since being on the diet but still quite a lot where I have to wear a panty liner?

[atomic sagebrush]

On paper, theoretically EWCM is thought to sway blue, but the truth is over 10+ years we have had sooo many CM opposites...people who had loads of CM getting girls, people who had NO CM (myself included on DS 4) having boys, that I can not believe in it any longer. There may be something to it, but all babies need SOME EWCM to be conceived since both X and Y sperm need to swim thru CM to reach the egg. No CM = no baby!

[sassy86]

Oh thats good to know so hopefully me having Ewcm shouldn't cause too much of a problem.

[sassy86]

Hi so af arrived a day early today, i have to say I am really gutted about it as I really thought I would conceive this month especially after the extra bds......Im not really sure how to go about it next to try and conceive. Unfortunately hubby is away fpr 8 days over my fertile period next month so I probably wouldnt fall next month but as of December hubby wont be going away with work for a year so we will be able to start trying again from December.

[atomic sagebrush]

Can you think back 14 days?? If your period came early, could you have ovulated early?

[sassy86]

I did ovulate slightly earlier but we bd cd10 evening cd11 evening cd13 evening and then had a positive opk cd14 in the morning so only 12 hrs after our last bd.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh shoot that was a great attempt too - it must just not have been the month. FX for next month!

[sassy86]

Thank you, do you think there is anything I should change next time?

[atomic sagebrush]

In one post, so I don't have to go back and reread several months worth of messages, give me a brief rundown of the stuff you did the past few months and I'll tell you what to tweak. I'm not talking diet and exercise, but the actual mechanics of TTC, when you had attempts, that kind of thing

[sassy86]

So August we had an attempt 1.5 days before pos opk, September we only had an attempt 2 days before pos opk as I had a throat infection both times he was doing frequent release. Last month we bd cd10 cd 11 and cd13 evening amd had a positive opk cd14 early morning, I ovulated earlier than usual.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. Attempts that far before pos OPK are pretty low chances. I would really only call that one viable attempt. This upcoming month I'd drop FR if still doing that and would even consider doing every 4 days, but I understand if you'd prefer to give it at least another month trying with one attempt since you really haven't had a super well timed attempt (though this month was good)

[sassy86]

Hi all!!!! Sooooo much has happened this past year.
After my last post due ti covid etc we decided to stop trying for a while and during that time my hubby changed jobs so there is no more travelling and he is so much happier and so was our marriage for a while but then he decided he didnt want any more kids. I was gutted but gradually came to terms with it. However this past week qe had a very long chat he decided to give it one last go and has said we will try for a couple of months but im very keen to try asap in case he changes his mind AGAIN!!
Here is my situation i havent been on any kind of diet as i didn't think we were trying altgough my diet is rubbish at the moment, I'm having coffee 3 times a day and only 2 meals but lots of sweets and coke. We are drinkinh a lot more but neither if us are at the gym altgough im on the go all day and my hubby works 6 days and his job is very physical. He now drinks cofee everyday and he has lost weight.
The last cycle we tried bd on cd10 11 and 13 and had a positive opk cd 14
Cycle before that we bd 1.5 days before pos opk
Do you have any advice for this cycle, im keen to get pregnant quickly?
I feel much more laid back this time round as i am so grateful we are ttc 1 more.

[sassy86]

Also just to add my dh has a very high sex drive and has no problem performing lol

[Thefinalcountdown]

I got pregnant with my two girls first try. My diet was coffee for breakfast, a protein greens powder in almond milk and coffee for lunch and salad for dinner. Low fat and all vegan. Good luck!


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[sassy86]

Thank you and was it just the one attempt or every 4 days

[sassy86]

What are the results looking like with e4d

[Thefinalcountdown]

We just did it every day or every other day when I was fertile probably o-5 through o. We were not really “trying” that’s just when I was in the mood. My husband is always in the mood! With my son it was one time that month… we were really busy doing a barn build and didn’t have time.


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[sassy86]

Bump

[sassy86]

Would it be better for me to do the 72hr bd?

[sassy86]

Bump

[Thefinalcountdown]

Just get busy and see what happens! Your diet is going to be the #1 factor


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[atomic sagebrush]

Because I answer posts from oldest to newest, bumping too soon (especially in weeks when I'm particularly busy, like this one) just pops the post up to the "new" posts and actually makes me take longer to get back to you. Thanks for your patience!

Urgh, just lost my post, posting this part for now, hang on

[atomic sagebrush]

When your hubby is reluctant but willing, don't waste time pursuing sway tactics that don't work (like timing). You guys should definitely go for it in case he changes his mind again.

It is very likely that the reason you haven't conceived is that you're trying too far before O. 1 and 1.5 days before positive OPK is going to be 3 days or even longer before O comes and that will be low odds of conception. If you're wanting better odds of conception you can do e4d (in the 72 hour pattern) or at least try the day OF positive OPK instead of so far before.

If conception immediately is what we need, I would actually consider doing something like the day before pos OPK, day OF pos OPK, and the following day (tho that wold be more blue friendly) along with every 72 hours to be sure you're covered in case of delayed O. But only do that if getting pregnant is more important than swaying.

[sassy86]

Thank you so much for getting back to me.
It makes me a little nervous avout having more attemps in my fertile window as i conceived my last ds by bd day before pos and day of pos. Im willling to give it one more month before moving onto that.
So we have already bd cd 6 pm and cd 9 pm. Should we do anither bd this evening which is cd 12 pm and then another bd cd 15pm or should i extend it a bit and bd tomorrow which qould be cd 13 and then again on cd 16? I usuallu get my opk on cd14/cd15.

[atomic sagebrush]

You don't have to have more attempts, you just need to have an attempt that has any chance at the egg. Trying that far before positive OPK is very slim chances of conception, and what can happen is that when people start off doing sways that have basically zero chances of conception (unless you ovulate early in which case your sway would not be timing-based anyway), carry on with that quite a long time, and then give up a lot of things all at once! You don't need to move from having attempts so far before O that you have no chance of conceiving, to having multiple attempts in the fertile window, it's ok to simply move closer to O.

Unfortunately my crystal ball is in the shop this week and I can't say what the right move is. You can, of course, surge and ovulate earlier than your norm and so in that case, if you ovulate CD 13 and had an attempt CD 13 that might be too late. But at the same time if you ovulate CD 14 or early CD 15 attempting CD 12 would be lower chances of conception. I just can't know when you'll O and so I think it's generally best to just stick with the e4d pattern and not try to jockey it around. It creates that control freak kind of stress that may sway blue, and you can end up "outwitting" yourself anyway if you change from a pattern that very well may have worked, to a pattern that had no chance!

If you can't decide, just flip a coin and do what the coin says.

[sassy86]

You make total sense, thanks again for coming back to me ap my pattern has been bd every 72hrs so i guess thats better to atick with that then to jump to 96hrs?

[atomic sagebrush]

I never have anyone go from 72 back to 96 hours. That's a stricter sway, not a milder sway, and over time we gradually relax our sway, not make it harder to conceive.

[sassy86]

Ok ill stick to 72 hrs i last bd on Friday so will bd again this evening and then again on Thursday. Hope that sounds ok. Are the stats looking ok for bd every 72hrs?

[atomic sagebrush]

We have good results with e4d.

[sassy86]

Hi so its noon here in the uk on Wednesday.
I used an opk this morning and it was negative and i have just done another one and its positive.
We have been doing every 72 hrs
So far we have bd:
Cd 6 Tuesday pm
Cd 9 friday pm
Cd 12 monday pm
I am now on cd 14.
By doing the every 72 method that means that we are not due to bd again until tomorrow pm (cd15) but i have got my first pos opk today so should i bd this evening which would be 48hrs from last bd or wait till tomorrow pm?

[sassy86]

I feel like i may of messed things up.
I paniked and ended up bding yesterday afternoon a couple of hrs after my peak. My dh thought we should go for it and I agreed but now i think that was a bad idea as we already bd 2 days before and we should of probably left it at that.

[sassy86]

I have still got a dark line in opk today not as dark as yeaterday but it is still definitely positive

[atomic sagebrush]

Two days before your OPK would have been very long chance of conception. I think you did the right thing having another attempt. Good luck!

[sassy86]

Thanks for replying. Ok great hopefully I havent meased it up then. I know timing has been debunked but i cant shake this feeling off that we bd far too close to ovulation (i have ovulation pains today) but both my boys were conceives a day before ovulation and now i have bd again a day before ovulation.
Not sure if ur will make any differnece but we used ky jelly with both bds and the last bd (one before ovulation) he had a hot bath. I asked him to ditch the bath but unfortunately he has got a back issue at the moment so ge refuses to give that up.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey, it may be exactly what needs to happen! Good luck and pink dust headed your way!

[sassy86]

Hi so i did a pregnancy test on sunday morning and there was a faint positive however by monday morning it was negative and i started to bleed (2 days before my period)
That month we bd
Cd 6
Cd9
Cd12
Cd 14
First opk positive and clear blue positive cd 14

Moving forward this month would you he able to offer any advice for our attempt this month?
Thank you

[atomic sagebrush]

When did period arrive in relation to your positive OPK?

[sassy86]

Had pos opk cd14 and period arrived cd 26

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, so when you say you started to bleed 2 days before period and then got your period CD 26, your bleeding started CD 24?

[sassy86]

Sorry no i meant that i was due on my period cd28 but i started to bleed cd26

[atomic sagebrush]

It probably just wasn't the month. Unless you did something that drastically cut odds of conception like douching or shallow release, it just didn't happen for some reason. It takes fully fertile couples doing nothing to sway an average of 3-6 months to fall pregnant so it just doesn't work some months.

[sassy86]

Nope didnt do anything else.
How do you think i should go about with attempts this month as obviously last month i had multiple bds?

[atomic sagebrush]

In terms of conception, or a sway?

[sassy86]

A sway i guess

[atomic sagebrush]

If you're trying to sway then I would do the e4d method, unprotected sex every 72 hours (Monday/Thursday/Sunday, etc) and it does not need to be those number of hours, that's just how you count the days. Start this after your period ends, and carry on till you're sure you've ovulated even if that means going straight on thru till your next cycle begins.

If you're aiming at best chance of conception, I would do that pattern and then add in one more attempt at positive OPK (or the day before you expect to ovulate, if you think your cycles are that predictable). This will be somewhat more blue friendly than just e4d alone.

Or, you can even do SMEP - the Sperm Meets Egg plan, but this may be more blue friendly. https://pregnancyloss.info/sperm-meets-egg-plan/

[sassy86]

Ok thank you

[sassy86]

I just feel like im potentially messing things up again. I think not fallen pregnant last month has thrown me.
So we bd Friday which was cd 11 and last night we both went out a drank alot and ended up bding again we definitely used ky jelly. This morning which is cd 13 i had a negative opk but this evening i had my first pos opk. I really dont know whether to bd again and use to ky jelly to keep sperm low as we bd last night and night before. Im just worried i wont fall pregnant again. Should i have another attempt this evening?

[atomic sagebrush]

Use this rule of thumb: For best chance of conception, have another attempt. For best odds of pink, stick with the attempts you've had. I can't know what is best, and when I really do not know, I have to throw the decision back to you guys!

[sassy86]

We decided to have another attempt last night. I just hope i haven't ruined my sway too much. My dh is keen to fall pregnant asap so i dont have much time to waste. Im gutted as i have been planning so long to do things the correct way but i just feel so much pressure to conceive quickly. I feel like i am never going to conceive a girl.
Sorry for rambling on!

[atomic sagebrush]

No not at all, it's such a hard situation to be in. Whenever a husband is reluctant to TTC, I think it's best to just do things his way.

[sassy86]

Thank you again for your support.
Ok so whats done is done, moving forward should i continue with the e4d. I have currently bd cd 8 cd 11 cd 12 cd 13 i had a pos opk cd 14. Should i have another bd on cd 16 or cd 17 ?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, you should always continue with e4d before and after O in case your ovulation is delayed.

[sassy86]

Ok so just trying to work it out is it better to do 72 hrs which would be cd16 or 96hrs cd 17

[atomic sagebrush]

72 hours is best. That keeps the attempts just far enough apart so you're always in with an attempt.

[sassy86]

Ok ill go ahead with that. Ill keep you posted.
Thank you

[atomic sagebrush]

Good luck!

[sassy86]

Sorry! Quick question about the e4d. Our last bd was cd 13 pm and tonorrow will be cd 16. Is it ok to bd in the morning tomorrow or should we wait for the pm so it is a true 72hrs?

[atomic sagebrush]

The hours don't matter. It's just a way to understand how to count the days. Any time that day is fine.

[sassy86]

Hi ya so last saturday i had my period 2 days early again! I just dont know whats going on as last cycle i had a pos pregnancy test followed by a negative the day after and then i had a period 2 days early and then this cycle i had a period 2 days early again. My cycle is always 28/29 days but the last 2 cycles it has been 26.
Any advice on how to conceive thsi month i am now on cd 7

[atomic sagebrush]

Do you think you're ovulating sooner than you're used to, or do you think your LP is short? (or a little of each?)

[sassy86]

I have been using ovulation tests, are they very accurate?
Last cycle i bd cd 8, cd 11, cd 12, cd 13 and cd 16 and got a pos ovulation cd 13

[atomic sagebrush]

You can have false positives and false negatives on OPK, and even when they work perfectly they're just a ballpark figure. Can you explain when your period came in relation to the positive OPK???

[sassy86]

My period came on cd 26 and i had a pos opk on cd 13

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok so most likely you had a 12 day LP, ovulated CD 14, and everything is as it should be. Just wasn't the month. FX for March!

[sassy86]

Hi.
Im really confused as i was tracking my cycle and i had a pos opk on cd 14. On cd 20 i did another opk (just because i was curious) and a dark line came up - not quite pos and every day since then i have tested and rhe line has no faded. Do you know what could cause this?

[atomic sagebrush]

That is caused by the secondary estrogen surge which happens about 7-10 DPO. That's super common and is not unexpected or weird at all (and in fact is a good sign your body is doing what it should do!)

[sassy86]

Ok great so ut doesnt mean i was ovulating again then?

[atomic sagebrush]

No, it doesn't. Now, it's possible you can have a false positive and then a real positive, but given that your first test was actually positive and at the appropriate time of the month for O, and then this test wasn't positive and was at the time we'd expect to see a secondary estrogen surge, that is what I would consider by far the most likely.

[sassy86]

Hi all, i hope you are all doing ok.
Its been a while!
We have been ttc for a while now with out any luck, I actually started to forget about swaying and just concentrate on getting pregnant, but we had no luck.
I finally went to the doctor who gave me a blood test which showed low progesterone so they have re tested me and i am just waiting for the results. They also gave me an ultrasound where they diagnosed me with pcos!!!
I just feel a bit lost now as to what to do as we are trying but nothing seems to be happeneing.

[atomic sagebrush]

I need more info about this test. When was it done? How did you determine ovulation that month? Many times the supposed "low progesterone" reading is simply a test taken at the wrong time.

I would definitely switch over to the alternate diet but if you're getting your period every month the odds are very good there's some physical thing preventing pregnancy and not your hormone levels. Like, frequency patterns, shallow release, douching/jelly - are you doing anything you can think of that could physically prevent conception? And has your husband had a sperm analysis, and have you had a HSG exam??

[sassy86]

Thank you for taking time to reply.
So it was a cd21 fertility test and they told me my level was 24 and it should be 30 to ovulate.
We have tried all different patterns but lately we have been dtd every other day in my fertile window. No shallow release and no douches. Dh has stopped baths too. Whats a HSG exam? Dh hasnt had sperm looked at yet. He still isnt crazy about having dc3 so its quite hard to ask him to do anything like that.

[sassy86]

The strange thing is that my cm changes every month during the ovulation period so im surprised that i possibly am not ovulating. The pcos does make sense as i had very painful periods as a teenager

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, so did they pinpoint ovulation at all for you or just use a calendar day?? Because "CD 21" tests are very often wrong if you don't ovulate on CD 14! So you very well may have been climbing upwards the day of the test and just hadn't gotten there yet, and for you may have been better to have the test done on a different cycle day. Additionally, that "30" number may not be fully accurate (it's likely anything over 20ish and there's a full explanation in this thread: https://www.myfertilityfocus.com/day-21-progesterone-test-level-explained/)

Every other day is not an effective way to boost conception. It can very easily end up being only one viable attempt in the fertile window that way - either O-5, O-3, O-1 (both 3 and 5 are too early to be guaranteed attempts - we have seen people go YEARS doing 3 day cutoffs for pink sways and not conceiving!) or O-6, O-4, O-2, and O Day (CD 4 and 6 are too early, and O Day can be too late) Both of these schedules can easily end up being only one viable attempt. I would suggest doing a different schedule where you're having more attempts in the functional fertile window, particularly 1 and 2 days before O. I have a couple ways to be sure you hit these days, let me know if you want to hear them.

An HSG is where they go in and look at your uterus and tubes to be sure they're clear and not blocked. PCOS does not render most people infertile. Blocked tubes absolutely can.

One of the main reasons we find people not conceiving is male factor fertility, but if he's not willing, then that's that. I would be sure he's doing regular release and we could add in a male fertility vitamin if you think he'd take it.

[atomic sagebrush]

The strange thing is that my cm changes every month during the ovulation period so im surprised that i possibly am not ovulating. The pcos does make sense as i had very painful periods as a teenager

If you're getting your period every month with changes in cervical mucus then you ARE ovulating. (if they say otherwise without doing some very thorough examinations, they are wrong and are simply passing the responsibility of your situation onto you). The vast majority of people with PCO do ovulate and can conceive even with moderate and even fairly severe PCOS. If they're not ovulating, they won't have a period at all for months on end.

[sassy86]

Thank you so much again for takinh the time to respond. I am almost certain that i do ovulate as i get the cm and ovulation pains. I feel like i am hitting a brick wall with them. I would be interested to hear trying another schedule?

[atomic sagebrush]

I do think you need to have a sperm analysis and HSG just to rule out any other problems BUT what I'd have you do, if possible, is to go from having sex every other day, to every 4 days in the "72 hour" pattern (it does not need to be those number of hours, but this is how you count the days) So Monday/Thursday/Sunday, like that. This seems counterintuitive, how can that be better for conception than every other day, but it's because it still works out to be one attempt in the fertile window (as does the every other day pattern, which I explained above) and so it's no worse than every other day, and also it gives a bit of extra time for sperm numbers to increase. Start this after your period ends and carry on till after you are CERTAIN you've ovulated (not just a positive OPK, you need to be sure you've ovulated) even if that means going all month till your next period begins.

THEN in addition to that (continue the e4d before and after ovulation!) drop in one more attempt at your first positive OPK. That will ensure you're in with two attempts, since one attempt in the fertile window doesn't seem to be cutting the mustard for us. Your husband should be able to keep up with this pattern (every 4 days in the 72 pattern plus one more attempt at positive OPK) whereas many men can't do every other day plus one more attempt. We have very good chances of conception with that pattern.

Now, if you really really don't want to use OPK you can also do the e4d in the 72 pattern and then drop in an attempt when you feel like you're in the fertile period, but try to err on the side of making it not too early and not too late. So don't do it the first day of EWCM, don't wait for CM to turn creamy or anything, just have it at a time when you feel fertile. Carry on with the e4d pattern before and after that.