How long will I have these feelings?

[luvmyfam]

We just found out on Saturday that we are expecting our 3rd sweet boy! I hate the crazy emotions I'm going through. I couldn't stop crying on Saturday and Sunday. DH and I were both disappointed. We went shopping for the baby and we just mosied around and we were both drooling over all of the girl clothes. We both keep talking about how precious our boys are and how we're going to have another awesome, sweet boy. But I can't help but feel some deep rooted sadness. And I hate it! I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy. I feel incredibly guilty for having these feelings. We are so blessed. But I still want a daughter. I don't know if we will have anymore kids. We thought this would be our last. Maybe it will be. I definitely feel like I need to talk to somebody about this.

[ksmom]

I'm so sorry. I remember feeling this way with DS2 especially because we were hoping to stop at two kids and I would have sworn up/down/sideways that we were having a girl. I felt terrible guilt over it but after he was born, I felt like he was ours for a reason and he has brought us so much joy. I think what helped me during my pregnancy was to buy new clothes for him, prep the nursery, and call him by his name. It didn't cure my GD but it made it easier to cope. It's normal to be sad because it's mourning the loss of a dream...something I think many of us here struggle with. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to. Hugs mama!

[luvmyfam]

Thank you ksmom! I know with all my heart that God knows what we need and who belongs in our family. We've been thinking about names and I think we've agreed on one already and that does help a lot.

I just left the chiropractors office and I had just scheduled the appointment this morning. I think I was meant to walk in the building at that exact moment. A mom was signing in and had her baby on the floor in the infant carrier. He was probably about 8 months old and had light hair and big blue eyes like my DS 1 :). He looked right at me and kept giving me big smiles. He made my day! So precious! I want to try to enjoy this pregnancy as it might be my last. Im really trying!

[Babygirlquest]

I definitely felt this way with ds3. With ds4 it didn't seem as bad somehow. With ds3 I remember how anticlimactic the scan was and I had wanted to buy clothes for the baby but then felt what's the point, it's another boy.

Although I have decided to go high tech for a little girl, I will say my third boy is absolutely adorable and when he arrived I was smug as hell about him and showing him off to all and sundry. It will change when he gets here, he will be a new and different wee character to love :-)

[luvmyfam]

Thank you Babygirlquest. Did you sway for any of your boys? Also did you plan on having 4 or 5 kids from the beginning? I know we won't be able to decide if we will try for a 4th until baby boy is here and we get settled in to having 3 kids. But it has been mentioned by both of us already. What's it like going from 3-4? I want to be able to have close relationships with all of my kids.

[Beau82]

I know you're not asking me specifically but I just noticed this and wanted to poke my head in. I didn't sway with any, I just thought that I would eventually have a girl. I always planned on 4 or 5, my husband likes even numbers and has always said 4 (he's coming around to the idea of 5 though). For me, the jump from 3-4 kids wasn't a big deal. I had the hardest time going from 1-2 to be honest. After 2 kids, I didn't notice much change with #3 and #4. I feel like, once you have that third child, everything changes anyway. Adding one more isn't a huge deal.

I had a lot of GD after we found out that DS4 was a boy. I was so sure he was a girl. I wasn't going to buy anything new b/c I really didn't need anything for him but it helped to go out and buy some things that were just for him. There are really cute boy clothes nowadays! The GD definitely lessened as time went on and it was gone well before he was born. Take the time you need, don't feel bad that you're feeling this way. You won't feel like this forever.
Don't do anything permanent if you're both unsure.

[luvmyfam]

Thank you beau82!

[Magical22]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I do understand where you are coming from. I have two sweet boys and I'm ttc out third it def our last and I'm so petrified I'll be having another boy. I just know all the comments that will be made. But I also know he will steal my heart.



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[Babygirlquest]

I swayed for no 3 and 4. But I always wanted a big, boy heavy family, I just always wanted a little girl in the mix. We were going to sway again but I decided I needed the reassurance of high tech. We are going to try this but can always try naturally again if it doesn't work.

I found 3-4 was much easier than going from 2-3. By baby 4 I felt like an old pro :-)

[Am3a]

(((((Hugs))))) [emoji177]

It's really normal what you're feeling.
I had terrible GD when DS3 was born and for months and months after. I still have pangs and wonder about what ifs but it's definitely easier as time goes on, and of course, you fall ridiculously in love with your baby boy. [emoji177]
To me, GD felt like being heartbroken for the first time. It's all-consuming and you can't imagine finding happiness with anyone again. But of course, you will, it may just be in blue, not pink!

If you can, find a counsellor to talk to. I didn't, and I now wish I had, it may have helped me bond better, earlier. [emoji175]

[Am3a]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I do understand where you are coming from. I have two sweet boys and I'm ttc out third it def our last and I'm so petrified I'll be having another boy. I just know all the comments that will be made. But I also know he will steal my heart.



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Ah the comments! I could write a book. [emoji23]

[luvmyfam]

Thank you Am3a. I never experienced it with my other 2 boys. I actually didn't really feel like I "needed " a girl until ds 2 was about 10 months old. It's already way better than the day I found out but no one else except for us knows yet. Our gender reveal is this Sunday and I just don't know how I'll deal with the massive influx of comments.

[kitkat18]

No words of wisdom except we have all been there, I had shocking GD with DS2 but he is my smiley easy going mummies boy! I personally would not do a gender reveal unless you feel 100% cool with comments, I planned on telling everyone we were having a surprise for baby number three that way if it was a boy I would be just soooo happy to have him in my arms! Big hugs every day gets easier Xxx

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[Am3a]

Thank you Am3a. I never experienced it with my other 2 boys. I actually didn't really feel like I "needed " a girl until ds 2 was about 10 months old. It's already way better than the day I found out but no one else except for us knows yet. Our gender reveal is this Sunday and I just don't know how I'll deal with the massive influx of comments.


You need to work out some great comeback lines and practise them out loud before the reveal.

I always say something like: "I know, 3 boys, aren't they so lucky? What a wonderful childhood they'll have, etc".