Jealous

[Hopefully Pink]

I have dreamed of having a daughter for as long as I can remember. When I found out my 1st was a boy I was sad but I was able to move passed it while pregnant with him. I literally prayed for a daughter everyday from the day I learned my 1st was a boy to the moment I learned my 2nd was a boy. My sway had failed and I felt like I was some how undeserving of daughter. My 2nd is 1 now and while I adore him and his brother I am still so depressed. I see so many of my friends having a daughter like it is nothing, one by one they realize my dream. While I fight the feeling, sometimes I can't help but feel like they picked the right spouse. It is horrible but I feel extremely jealous that their husbands could give them a girl while my husband couldn't, even with a carful sway. My husband is my best friend but I can't help but be jealous of these women who's husbands could provide them with a girl. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I know I am crazy, but I fear that he is all Y sperm.


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[familymatters]

Try not to play the blame game. Your hubby has helped give you the gift of two lovely boys. More than likely he would also be providing you with almost equal amounts of x and y sperm. Whilst there are small things he can do to sway pink, most of the big changes have to happen with the woman. I'm not sure what your last sway was like, but even with a great sway there is still a 25% chance that it won't result in your desired gender. I understand your feelings of jealousy at friends that easily get a girl without trying. That's understandable!! Are you planning on another sway? If so you should post what you are planning to do so we can have a look and give suggestions. You are most certainly not undeserving of a girl btw, it doesn't work like that. I wish I had some good tips to help keep your jealousy in check, I struggle at times with mine and I already have a daughter! I know the fact that I'm currently preparing for a sway helps because it feels like I'm being proactive.

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[BunnyGirl19]

My DS2 was a failed girl sway and I struggled with GD pretty bad that time. I never blamed my husband though. I always blamed myself for being too boy friendly in my lifestyle and not making big enough changes for long enough. I'd try not to be so hard on your husband. He tried. Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want.

[Hopefully Pink]

Thank you for your comments. My husband is so supportive and he is such wonderful person. I really hate that I think it, but I just get jealous. I would never tell him this and I have only ever told my therapist. But these feelings built up again so I thought I would see if anyone could relate. We are looking into going HT for a girl, I am trying not to get my hopes but thinking that there is a chance does help a little.


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[Kittybear]

Your husband makes 50% Y ('male') sperm (that he inherited from his dad) and 50% X ('female') sperm (that he inherited from his mum). It's to do with how the cells split to make sex cells. I promise you this. It's tough but it's not his 'fault' it's just what happened on that particular flip of the coin (and it's really not statistically unusual to get 2 X heads or 2 X tails in 2 consecutive coin flips - 25%). I guess gender wasn't such a massive issue when families routinely had 4+ kids as usually at least one would be opposite.

sorry if this has come across harsh, it's really not meant that way. Your DH sounds like a good man and our GD expresses itself in different ways and I think yours is blaming him. Personally I blamed myself.

Now my ds2 is nearly 2 I see that he HAD to exist, he is such a determined little monkey! Even if all the other sperm hanging around were X, he would have elbowed them out of the way. ;)

Xxx

[pinkcomestrue]

You are really not alone in this.. I'm on your exact boat, people don't show it but there are lots of us feeling this way for sure xx


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