frequency of BD for pink and blue

[atomic sagebrush]

FREQUENCY OF INTERCOURSE - an overview

:ttc:The amount, pattern and frequency of intercourse is an important part of a good sway. It’s not really timing, but it may be the real reason why timing was once thought to sway, because couples were advised to DTD in these patterns AND on a certain day for timing. Timing has been investigated thoroughly and both genders are conceived in roughly equal numbers on every day, so it's unlikely that timing alone is swaying - it's probably the frequency patterns that sway.

Let’s take a closer look at this sometimes confusing sway strategy. I include the strategies for both girl and boy swaying so you can read them and know what NOT to do as well.

:crawl:Anything that increases fertility of a couple overall and most important, the numbers of sperm of BOTH genders that survive to make it to the egg, sways blue. Anything that decreases the fertility of a couple overall and limits the number of sperm that makes it to the egg (while still allowing enough to achieve pregnancy), sways pink. This is not about killing off more X than Y or vice versa, because we don’t know how to do that, and it is probably not even possible to do that (please read http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?1562-What-are-the-REAL-differences-between-X-sperm-and-Y-sperm.

With that in mind, here is more about the frequency of intercourse and how it is best included in a sway.

:babyf: Frequency strategies for pink: These strategies will lower sperm count overall, leaving less sperm to go onto the egg. As a result, they may reduce your odds of pregnancy, especially if you are doing a lot of other things to sway. If you cannot get pregnant, you have zero shot at your DG. Remember, there is no law that says you HAVE to include any of these things in your sway, so if you’re in a big hurry to get pregnant or something just doesn‘t feel right for you as a couple, keep in mind that you always have the option to forgo any sway strategy - there is no ONE way to sway.

:happycouple:Frequent Release: DH releases (ejaculates) every day, at least once a day and more often whenever he can, for 7-10 days or more if he can. You can use frequent release with one attempt, with a cutoff of 2-3 days, at ovulation, with an O+12 attempt, or with a combo of these. Please read http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?2728-abstaining-frequent-release-and-mixing-cutoff-with-O-12 for a more in depth explanation of how you might combine timing with frequency. For this strategy, he will release outside your body and only use the last batch of semen to inseminate you.

:happycouple:Frequent BD, either with a cutoff or through O: For those in a greater hurry to get pg, it is possible to DTD for 7-10 days rather than having your husband release outside your body. You can use frequent BD either with a cutoff (so stop DTD 2-3 days prior to ovulation) or you can BD through O for higher odds of pregnancy. (this will raise pH, but if you use RepHresh/Acijel to lower pH, you may be able to counteract this.)

You can also mix these up and have him release outside some or most of the time as well - as an example, you might have him release outside your body until you’re nearing O (either you get a positive OPK or you begin 2-3 days before you expect to O) and then begin to have him release inside, or release inside every other time, until you’re sure you’ve ovulated. This might be a good option if you want to get pg quickly but you’re worried about pH.

The important thing is, that he HAS to release every day at least once and pref. more, for at least 7-10 days prior to when you BEGIN your BD attempts...it can't just be 7-10 days before O itself if you attempt starting at a cutoff timing because that means there will be sperm from only 5-7 days FR, and that may sway blue for some men.

:happycouple:Abstaining: DH will need to abstain for 7-10 days prior to one attempt. Some people even do super-long abstains of 14 days or more. You can have this attempt with a cutoff, with one attempt at ovulation, or with an O+12. Warning - abstaining has been linked to bad sperm quality, and a slightly increased risk of birth defects in men over 35, so this def. has some downsides. It may prevent you from getting pregnant all together and remember, if you can't get pregnant, you can't get your DG.

:happycouple:Combining Abstaining and FR: You can use this as an emergency tactic when 1) you ovulated early or late and were not able to complete a full 7-10 day abstain 2) your husband had a nocturnal emission or a moment of weakness and can no longer have a full 7-10 days of abstaining before you O.

Or, you can do it by design to increase your odds of pg and fit in more than one attempt. The sperm count will be diminished by the long abstain and then will never have a chance to recover if you switch to very frequent BD immediately.

To do this method, abstain from the beginning of AF to either a cutoff timing (2-3 DBO) or to when you get a positive OPK. DTD with the first ejaculation after the abstain and use that for insemination. Then, have your husband begin to release as much as he can. You can use all of these for insemination (using RepHresh or another jelly to lower pH if desired) or you can only use the last one prior to ovulation/cutoff - so you would use the first ejaculation after abstaining, and then a second ejaculation after DH had released himself as many times as he was able to in a day or two or three.

To illustrate for more clarity, let’s say Swayer 1 wanted to have a cutoff. She could have her husband abstain for 7-10 days, then 2, 3, or even 4 DBO they would BD once, with ejaculation inside (since they will be DTD more than once, they may want to begin with a longer cutoff than a couple doing only one attempt does). Immediately afterwards, they could DTD a second time inside, OR her husband could release and they could dump that batch. He could continue releasing as much as he could and they could choose whether or not to have him ejaculate inside or to dump them, depending on how in a hurry they were to conceive and what else they were doing to sway. A couple that is doing a lot of sperm-unfriendly things to sway, might want to have more attempts inside, while a couple that is mostly relying on frequency of intercourse to sway and not doing jellies or antihistamine, might prefer to stick with only one or two attempts inside, dumping the rest. A couple in a big hurry to get pg might want to do all the attempts inside and not do jellies/anthistamines. Then, at 2 DBO they would stop attempting and wait for the egg to be released and hope that the sperm already deposited, will go onto fertilize it.

Swayer 2 wants to BD through O, so she might abstain until she got a pos OPK, usually 12-36 hours before ovulation. They could DTD once that day inside, then as soon as DH was able to, they could DTD again, either inside or dumping it. The next day, they could DTD once in the morning and again at night, and again the day after that. Sometime on that third day, it’s probably O+12 timing. The sperm count never really has time to recover from the abstain, so it stays on the low side throughout, but they’re still upping their odds of pg, esp. if they’re doing a lot of other things to sway. They could also just use the first abstain and then have DH release as much as he could and use only the O+12 batch for a second insemination if they wanted to, or use one batch per day and dump the rest.

To illustrate a couple of emergency situations, let’s say you were expecting to O on CD 14 and you DTD on CD 12. But you don’t get a pos OPK until CD 16. Your odds of pg are very low at that point. But if you have your husband switch from abstaining to FR after your first attempt, you can try again at any point and still feel pretty good about it. Or, you find out that your husband had a nocturnal emission on CD 10 and you wanted to have your attempt on CD 12 - that would be a frequency of 2 days, which is ideal for raising sperm count. As soon as you learn of the “whoops”, have him begin to release 2 or 3 times a day, then go ahead with your attempt on CD 12 and again, you can feel good about that attempt because the sperm numbers had no opportunity to recover.

:happycouple:Compressed FR: You can use this as an emergency tactic if you were trying to go for FR but something came up and you missed a day here or there, or if you have a very irregular ovulation or a very long cycle (which does happen sometimes when you begin to sway pink, even if you‘ve always had a regular cycle) and the idea of FR for 3 and 4 weeks or even longer is daunting. Or, you can do it by design for those husbands who really cannot manage either FR or abstaining.

DTD in whatever pattern you prefer until you get a positive OPK. (you could potentially use this with a cutoff, but if something happens and you O late, you could end up with your DH having to release for several days in a row and that’s what you’re trying to prevent by doing this technique.) Then, have DH release once and dump the first batch - DO NOT use this batch for insemination, no matter what. As soon as he is capable, have him DTD again…you can use this second batch for insemination or dump it, too. By the time the third batch rolls around (again, as soon as he is able to), the count will be a lot lower than it was and you can use all subsequent batches for insemination. Keep DTD as much as you can until you’re sure you have Oed and the egg is gone. Or, you can use only one batch for insemination if you prefer.

To use this as an emergency tactic, let’s say that you were going for FR but one of your kids got sick in the night and ended up in your bed and then your MIL stopped by unexpectedly on another day. So you missed a couple of days in the middle of your 7-10 day FR. You’ve only had 2 days in a row of release and now you’re going to O in 2 days. Don’t panic. Have DH release once and dump it, then as soon as he is able, DTD again and use that second batch if you like or wait for a third batch. Keep DH releasing as much as possible through O, using or dumping batches depending on your preference. If you’re doing a lot of other things to sway, you may want to finish inside every time, or if you’re not doing much, then you may only want to use one or two of these batches.

:ttc: NOTE: taking licorice root may lower sperm count too far if doing abstain, and it also can make frequent release very difficult for some men to accomplish.

:babym: For blue, it's much simpler. For maximizing sperm numbers, you want to BD every 2-4 days from AF-O. You can have DH release outside your body if you like, but some evidence indicates that actually DTD helps to increase sperm count and raise male testosterone.

:happycouple: One attempt at O: Traditionally, people TTC a boy with one attempt on O day. In order to do this, you'll just have your husband release (either by himself or using a non-spermicide condom) every 2-3 days until you get a positive OPK, and then DTD once the day after your positive OPK, using that batch for insemination. The downside of this is that if you ovulate on a day other than you were expecting, you might end up with only a 1 day turnaround...so if you DTD on CD 13, expecting to O on CD 14 but instead Oed on CD 15, either you have a 2 day cutoff (some believe this sways pink) or else you have to DTD 2 consecutive days in a row, on both CD 13 and 14 (may lower sperm numbers and sway pink). If this does happen to you, remember that the pink swayers must DTD 7-10 days for frequent release to work or else DTD several times in only a few days. DTD two consecutive days ~probably~ does not sway pink for most guys and the supps your DH is taking for sperm quality, will only help him.

:happycouple: Dual attempts: Some people will want to fit in more than one attempt in their fertile window and I believe this helps sway blue by increasing overall sperm numbers that survive to make it to the egg. In addition, it also raises pH. For example, one couple might O-2 and then again on O, or O-3 and O-1, or even DTD three days in a row, O-2, O-1, and again on O day - this should not diminish your husband’s sperm count and sway pink because it takes 7-10 days of frequent release to do that for most guys (don't do any more than three consecutive days, though). Others will prefer to stick with the traditional timing and have only one attempt on O as described above.

:ttc: Good luck!!! :kissy:

[atomic sagebrush]

Rainbowflower had a great post on another thread that I thought went very well with this topic.

Questions to ask yourself when deciding what frequency strategy to use for PINK:

Are your cycles regular?

Is your DH over 35? (if so abstinance is not recommended)

Is your DH capable of abstaining? (some men have night-time accidents in their sleep if they have to go too long without releasing... and some men get too frustrated)

Could your DH release every day?

How frequently did he release when you conceived any existing children? if he already released daily perhaps you would need to try releasing twice daily

both have their advantages and disadvantages

with regular BD (i.e. not regular releasing and discarding) you up the chance of pregnancy a lot, especially if doing a cut off, but can raise pH although you could use douching/rephresh to sort that

with regular release and perhaps just one attempt you get the lower sperm count benefits but not the pH rise, and also less chance of conceiving

abstaining gives you only one shot so less chance of pregnancy, but is probably less stressful and wouldn't raise either of your testosterone levels

frequent release only every 24hrs might not be enough for some couples to lower sperm count enough

if your cycles are irregular it can be exhausting to release daily with no end in sight

personally I believe compressed frequent release and abstaining are best for lowering sperm count

if not using a cut off compressed frequent release might be easiest as you can just release and discard when you get a pos OPK and then DTD as soon as you can after that. sperm count will be significantly lowered, testosterone won't be raised, and less stressful overall. Better chance of conceiving that way too.

I must point out that with a 3+ day cut off you only have a 10% chance of conceiving each cycle even without swaying, so swaying could lower this further. If you want to conceive faster you should aim to get more BD attempts in before OV.

hope that's some food for thought!

[TTC5]

Thankyou soooo much for this!!!

[angiesscripts]

Thank you Atomic! This topic has always confused me. Now I think I have a plan! :)

[Hobbermittens]

Okay. well, here's what confuses me. I seem to be O'ing very early now (CD12-13) so that doesn't leave many days for DH to store up his swimmers. I guess he can abstain for the last part of AF for 2-3 days, then we can DTD starting CD 9 or so? I think that would have been good this time... CD9, 11, 13? Is that okay? Or should I DTD when I get a +opk (I usually get them for 24 hrs or more).? I can't decide!!

[zanacal]

Personally I think that plan sounds good hobberittens - 9, 11 and 13 - that's 3 viable attempts, all with a good 2 day abstinence in between :D

Thanks for writing this up Atomic, I think it'll be really helpful.

[atomic sagebrush]

Okay. well, here's what confuses me. I seem to be O'ing very early now (CD12-13) so that doesn't leave many days for DH to store up his swimmers. I guess he can abstain for the last part of AF for 2-3 days, then we can DTD starting CD 9 or so? I think that would have been good this time... CD9, 11, 13? Is that okay? Or should I DTD when I get a +opk (I usually get them for 24 hrs or more).? I can't decide!!

I think both are viable options, it just all depends on how much stock you put into timing. If it just feels scary and wrong to you to DTD on CD 9, you can always skip that day or else just BD once when you get the pos OPK. Personally, I feel like the more attempts, the better for blue so I like that plan of BD 3 times. Entirely up to you.

[Hobbermittens]

Do you recommend DTD the day of the +opk or 12hr after? I do the opks every 4 hrs or so, so I know exactly when they become +.

[atomic sagebrush]

If it were me, I would DTD the night of the pos OPK and then again the next day, but I don't put much stock into timing and I also think that the overall sperm numbers that are in DW's repro tract matter more than the sperm count itself (so even if some guys might have a small decrease in number of swimmers from 2 shots back to back, by virtue of having more sperm on hand to make it to the egg will counteract that and sway blue even more so.)

For strict timing, DTD the day after pos OPK.

[Flava]

One attempt at O: Traditionally, people TTC a boy with one attempt on O day. In order to do this, you'll just DTD every 2-3 days until you get a positive OPK, and then DTD once the day after your positive OPK.
I thought one attempt is dtd on O day only and that's it. If we also dtd 2-3 till +opk and then on O day too that's just like the dual attempt because for sure you have a O-3 or O-2 in there, right?


if you DTD on CD 13, expecting to O on CD 15 but instead Oed on CD 14, either you have a 2 day cutoff
isn't this a 1 day cut off? You dtd 1 day before O right?

I just need to be sure here to do it right.

[Hobbermittens]

If it were me, I would DTD the night of the pos OPK and then again the next day, but I don't put much stock into timing and I also think that the overall sperm numbers that are in DW's repro tract matter more than the sperm count itself (so even if some guys might have a small decrease in number of swimmers from 2 shots back to back, by virtue of having more sperm on hand to make it to the egg will counteract that and sway blue even more so.)

For strict timing, DTD the day after pos OPK.

I had planned to DTD this time +opk day and day after, so that I think is the plan next time. I know that is back to back BDs, but seriously, I got my son from a 6 day stretch of BD in a row, and both my girls were one shot deals, so I tend to agree that there needs to be a bunch of swimmers in there waiting!!

[rainbowflower]

Atomic do you have a study showing how daily release lowers sperm count? especially over many days? if the male supply COMPLETELY refreshes every 36hrs, why does it need to be a week of frequent DTD and wouldn't a few days do just the same? it wouldn't deplete further the more days you did it.

[atomic sagebrush]

I thought one attempt is dtd on O day only and that's it. If we also dtd 2-3 till +opk and then on O day too that's just like the dual attempt because for sure you have a O-3 or O-2 in there, right?


isn't this a 1 day cut off? You dtd 1 day before O right?

I just need to be sure here to do it right.

1) You're right on that but people are trying to DTD every 2-4 days and then BD once on O for maximizing sperm count, so I am assuming that people are attempting to time those BD attempts to coincide with when they expect to O, if that makes any sense. Because if you don't DTD every 2-4 days, that's abstinence and will sway pink. People don't have to use every attempt for insemination, I was more thinking DTD with a condom and then only using the last BD for insemination.

2)That was just a typo because I kept getting interrupted. I meant to say that if you thought you would O on CD 14 but didn't until CD 15!! Exact opposite of what I wrote.

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic do you have a study showing how daily release lowers sperm count? especially over many days? if the male supply COMPLETELY refreshes every 36hrs, why does it need to be a week of frequent DTD and wouldn't a few days do just the same? it wouldn't deplete further the more days you did it.

I don't know that there is a study on that, I'm going off of what they said back on IG and also what people's REs tell them to do, which is for maximum sperm count, NOT to do frequent BD, and instead to DTD every 2-4 days. I'm sure there is a study out there somewhere but I never did chase that one down.

I think the numbers are lower the more often you do frequent because the sperm just don't have enough time to replenish themselves. at some point, the process begins to slow down.

[Hobbermittens]

1) You're right on that but people are trying to DTD every 2-4 days and then BD once on O for maximizing sperm count, so I am assuming that people are attempting to time those BD attempts to coincide with when they expect to O, if that makes any sense. Because if you don't DTD every 2-4 days, that's abstinence and will sway pink. People don't have to use every attempt for insemination, I was more thinking DTD with a condom and then only using the last BD for insemination.


But I thought you said we should fill the crypts? If you are DTD every 2-4 days but using condoms, then there will be no crypt filling at all. I am confused.

[atomic sagebrush]

But I thought you said we should fill the crypts? If you are DTD every 2-4 days but using condoms, then there will be no crypt filling at all. I am confused.

Yes, ~I~ believe that it's best to fill the crypts BUT I do know that not everyone wants to do that. Some people prefer to stick to Shettles timing and that's fine., I was trying to make one thread that consolidated all the diff. advice into one, so taken out of context it is confusing, but that was for people who wanted to do a strict timing/one attempt Shettles-style.

[atomic sagebrush]

Here is the advice you are thinking of, Hobber:

"Dual attempts: Some people will want to fit in more than one attempt in their fertile window and I believe this helps sway blue by increasing overall sperm numbers that survive to make it to the egg. In addition, it also raises pH. For example, one couple might O-2 and then again on O, or O-3 and O-1, or even DTD three days in a row, O-2, O-1, and again on O day - this should not diminish your husband’s sperm count and sway pink because it takes 7-10 days of frequent release to do that for most guys (don't do any more than three consecutive days, though). Others will prefer to stick with the traditional timing and have only one attempt on O as described above."

PS - I am really glad you asked about that though because I suspect other people were also confused!!

[Hobbermittens]

Thanks for explaining. I am still pretty sure we will go for 2 days of BD. I just feel that, even if one attempt is traditional timing, I want to go opposite of what got my girls and more of what got me my boy.

[atomic sagebrush]

My thinking is, I have no issue with timing as long as it's helping people get pg rather than hindering them. Sounds like a great plan to me! :agree:

[Plum3]

I ovulate quite irregularly so when should my first BD attempt be? My last four cycles I have ovulated on CD41, CD27, CD27 and CD43. I want to do at least 2 BD attempts (optimal O-2 and O).

I was planning on DTD (with condom) every 2nd/3rd day from AF but I'm not sure when we should actually start our BD attempts. If for example we start BDing on CD25 every 2nd/3rd day and then I don't O until CD43 would all those multiple BD attempts sway pink? It's so hard not knowing when O will happen. Thinking I should just start the Clomid so I know when I will O!

[atomic sagebrush]

BD every second or third day will NEVER sway pink, only blue. For frequent BD to sway pink, it has to be every single day for 7-10 days. BD every 2-4 days is perfect for blue. :agree:

[rainbowflower]

Unless you are releasing and discarding the intermediate days?

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

I mean to say having husband release every 2-4 days.

[Plum3]

So because I don't know when I will O we should actually attempt every 2-4 days. That's right isn't it? I keep doubting myself and getting all worried!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, and not only that, but that's perfect for blue anyway.

[Cherry Red]

Thanks for this thread. I've been really struggling with the timing of my sway and how to BD. I'm 37 and DH is 41 and abstaining for us is a no go due to the possible sperm quality in older blokes. We also want to get pregnant sooner than later due to our ages so FR and DTD through O is our best option. For some reason (not sure why as it's not the most important part of a sway) I just want the timing part be something I'm really happy with and not regret later and say "damn it I should have abstained and done a o+12". So I want to have it really clear in my mind why I did what I did.

[love being a mummy]

BD every second or third day will NEVER sway pink, only blue. For frequent BD to sway pink, it has to be every single day for 7-10 days. BD every 2-4 days is perfect for blue. :agree:

If we started to BD every 2nd night from now would that be ok for blue?

[rainbowflower]

If we started to BD every 2nd night from now would that be ok for blue?

yes. Sperm count can refresh every 36-48hr

[love being a mummy]

Thanks for that :)

I read somewhere that it's best to abstain for 3-4 days before attempt ?

[rainbowflower]

Thanks for this thread. I've been really struggling with the timing of my sway and how to BD. I'm 37 and DH is 41 and abstaining for us is a no go due to the possible sperm quality in older blokes. We also want to get pregnant sooner than later due to our ages so FR and DTD through O is our best option. For some reason (not sure why as it's not the most important part of a sway) I just want the timing part be something I'm really happy with and not regret later and say "damn it I should have abstained and done a o+12". So I want to have it really clear in my mind why I did what I did.
That makes sense. It sounds like you're making the best decision.

Unfortunately often when you're older your egg quality is lower too so the egg might not even survived much past the 12 hours after ovulation (IF you can time O+12 well), and even if the egg does last more than 12hrs it takes 4hrs or so for the sperm to be able to reach/fertilise the egg so the egg could be easily dead before your swimmers even are ready to try and catch it.

If you want a good compromise you could always try DTD on the day of a pos OPK and then you will KNOW that you have swimmers in there ready and waiting for the egg when it arrives. That would give you a good chance of pregnancy too.

[rainbowflower]

Thanks for that :)

I read somewhere that it's best to abstain for 3-4 days before attempt ?

I've not personally looked into any studies for blue about this, but when TTC when I got my son we were doing everything we could to optimise our chances of getting pregnant (not swaying) and I read back then that every 36hrs was optimum if you had age on your side. That ensures that the most sperm will make it in there. Maybe there is a study somewhere that says that every 3-4 days is best, but I haven't read it and logically I can't see why this would be.

[love being a mummy]

I am almost 29 and DH is 30

I think I read it on here somewhere.
If I find the thread I will bump it up so you can have a read. Thanks for the reply. I think it will be so much easier to just DTD every second day without having to worry about when I O and then trying to make sure we abstain before attempt and then worrying incase I O earlier or later.

[rainbowflower]

thank you! I'll have a read when I can (probably tonight)
at least if you BD every other day you will know that you have a constant supply of fresh sperm in there and that you won't miss the best day(s) around OV

[love being a mummy]

From this thread - http://genderdreaming.com/forum/showthread.php?166-TTC-a-Boy-Best-Practices-Part-1/page3

having intercourse often the day of ovulation should help facilitate the Y-bearing sperm to make their way to the egg first.
Should we DTD 2times on O day or O-1 ? or both?

[rainbowflower]

I'd aim for O-4, O-2 and again on O day if I was swaying blue... but O-3 and O-1 wouldn't be bad either if you didn't know when to expect OV

[love being a mummy]

And NO DTD before O-5 ?

[rainbowflower]

there's no harm in it! if anything it'd keep raising both of your testosterone levels.
I guess it depends when you OV after AF. It's probably best to DTD every 2 days if possible once AF has gone and then you know the supplies are fresh and not getting any weaker/older ones building up.

I'll have to investigate to find a study why some suggest up to 4 days is good... to me it sounds like one of those swaying-folklore things

[love being a mummy]

AF finished 5 days ago. We DTD last night CD9. I am due to O on CD19 if my cycle stays the same as the last 2 cycles.

What about this thread - http://genderdreaming.com/forum/show...thod-of-timing

Feel free to have sex with female O as much as possible during the early part of your cycle (days where your CM is dry). Then as soon as you see ANY CM whatsoever, even if it is sticky or creamy, DO NOT have intercourse on those days.

[rainbowflower]

right, just done a quick Google, and found a few websites like this one: http://www.drmalpani.com/book/chapter1a.html written for TTCers who say that:

Frequency of intercourse. While there is no "normal" frequency for sex, the "optimal" frequency of intercourse if you are trying to get pregnant is about 3 times a week in the fertile period. Simply stated, the more sex the better! Couples who have intercourse less frequently, have a diminished chance of conceiving.


Also found this study, which seems to suggest that TOTAL numbers of count (and semen quantity/sperm count) are increased with each additional day of abstinence: http://www.reproduction-online.org/content/57/2/391.full.pdf+html - it's worth looking at the diagram in the "Restults" section. So according to that one it might be best to DTD less frequently even for blue.
You'd have to figure out the total no. of sperm based on number of attempts within the fertile window to know how many attempts to have...

[atomic sagebrush]

I am almost 29 and DH is 30

I think I read it on here somewhere.
If I find the thread I will bump it up so you can have a read. Thanks for the reply. I think it will be so much easier to just DTD every second day without having to worry about when I O and then trying to make sure we abstain before attempt and then worrying incase I O earlier or later.

Every 2-4 days keeps sperm count highest. You don't have to stress about it any more than that.

[atomic sagebrush]

right, just done a quick Google, and found a few websites like this one: http://www.drmalpani.com/book/chapter1a.html written for TTCers who say that:



Also found this study, which seems to suggest that TOTAL numbers of count (and semen quantity/sperm count) are increased with each additional day of abstinence: http://www.reproduction-online.org/content/57/2/391.full.pdf+html - it's worth looking at the diagram in the "Restults" section. So according to that one it might be best to DTD less frequently even for blue.
You'd have to figure out the total no. of sperm based on number of attempts within the fertile window to know how many attempts to have...

Do keep in mind thouh that what Dr. Malpani is really saying is about CONCEPTION, not swaying. My feeling is the best frequency for blue is every 2-4 days. 3x a week is fine, but more sex is not necessarily better for blue because at some point (and more so for men who've already fathered daughters) the body just can't keep up with the demand.

Second study is from 1979 and more recent studies have frowned on abstinence for conception.

[rainbowflower]

Do keep in mind thouh that what Dr. Malpani is really saying is about CONCEPTION, not swaying. My feeling is the best frequency for blue is every 2-4 days. 3x a week is fine, but more sex is not necessarily better for blue because at some point (and more so for men who've already fathered daughters) the body just can't keep up with the demand.

Second study is from 1979 and more recent studies have frowned on abstinence for conception.
It would be quite nice to see links to those if you have them handy?

[atomic sagebrush]

http://www.fertilityneighborhood.com/content/in_the_news/archive_1243.aspx
(note, abstinence of one day means DTD every 2 days, which is what we advise for blue and NOT DTD every day)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2003/jun/30/highereducation.sciencenews

http://ukpmc.ac.uk/abstract/MED/7820161/reload=0;jsessionid=28E262C8FBA3CB6EA17EC0C00D07BA 54

[rainbowflower]

hmm so abstinence only lowers sperm count/affects 1/3 of men and won't sway for the other 2/3? but for the other 2/3 it raises sperm count and concentration but does cause the sperm to be less effective swimmers/to die faster?


A team lead by Eliahu Levitas, a fertility specialist at the IVF unit of Soroka University Medical Centre in Israel, looked at sperm samples from around 6,000 men who had abstained from sex for up to two weeks. Most had normal sperm counts, but roughly a third of their sperm counts were low, meaning they produced less than 20m sperm per millilitre.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that's a bit of a leap because ALL guys' sperm counts go up and down over time. Someone's husband had high sperm count 2 years ago that does not mean their sperm count is good today and therefore they would not be negatively affected by abstaining. When the article says "roughly a third of their counts were low" it does NOT mean that a third of the MEN had low counts, it means that of the samples taken (some of which were repeat offenders), one third of those sample's counts were low. We have no way of knowing what our husband's counts are doing on a daily basis. IF YOU WANT BLUE, do not abstain!

Abstinence sways pink for EVERYONE by making mostly crappy sperm that can't do anything (I have posted links about this topic in other places and don't have time to repost right now) and we know for a fact on the basis of this study, that it creates lower sperm numbers in at least SOME men. It doesn't matter if numbers of sperm are higher, lower, or in between, if the sperm are incapable of surviving/capacitating/fertilizing...in a battle between 50 million sperm that are half-dead or 5 million spry and lively ones, I'd bet on the 5 million spry ones.

It kinda makes sense that numbers of sperm would begin to add up with abstinence because where would they go? They don't just poof into thin air. They'd continue to be made and then just sit in the pipes and deteriorate while more were being produced. So it makes sense to me that numbers might be higher while overall sperm health would tank and as far as we can tell, it seems to be the number of surviving sperm that sway, not the number of sperm that come out in the ejaculate.

[ttcadaughter2012]

Atomic (or anyone that can answer really)
My cycles are 29 days long and I ovulate on cd 19. If I wanted to try for a girl when would we dtd?
I think this is very interesting. With the boys we dtd every 2-3 sometimes 4 days and it was the day before day of or day after o.
:)

[atomic sagebrush]

Do you want to do one attempt with timing or just rely on frequency??

My personal suggestion (I don't believe in timing) would be to have your DH release from CD 5 thru CD 15, then have attempt CD 16 17 18 19 20, while using some other strategies like jelly, diet, antihistamine

If you only want to have one attempt, I think DTD on a pos OPK is best so DH would release CD 7-17 and then one attempt CD 18

If you really believe in timing, you would want to do either a cutoff attempt 2 or 3 days before ovulation OR an O+12 attempt on the day after ovulation (I really don't advise this esp. with such a short LP)

How sure are you that you O CD 19? That's a pretty short luteal phase - what was it when you conceived your other kiddos??

[lemon2012]

ttc a daughter...what did you decide on?
I really do have a hard time letting go of timing....we hve dtd cd 9, 10 and 11 am...if I o on cd 14 what shld I do?
Did I sway blue?
How many more bds and when?????

[ttcadaughter2012]

Yeppers I did with all of them! Late ovulation each time. However with them it was more regular. This is my first cycle since I weaned ds. I had no period with him nursing. But with him and my 2nd son I tempted and charted, ovulation happened cd 19. Ds 1 I had the fertile mucus with and that was cd 19 . However I am not sure what this cycle will be as it will be my 2nd cycle weaned from ds3. But with all of them short lp phase. Which is why I am wondering if I should bd before ovulation in hopes the girly sperms are at the egg. All this is so new to me. With them I just dtd and didn't care what I got.

[ttcadaughter2012]

I am kind of wanting to avoid ovulation for me. However I am wondering how frequent we should dtd. I know hubby has a hard time abstaining from it I am lucky if I can get us to go 4 days and even then he is jumping me. lmao. My boys I had sex ds1 was almost everyday leading up to ovulation. ds 2 was the day before ovulation and day after ovulation. and ds3 was if i am correct on ovulation and before ovulation.

[lemon2012]

Ok. do it really does not matter!!!
I know that,,,for every cut off I see, there is an o plus 13 and a no swayer.....so, it is hard to say...let;s just have a baby when there is a gender you would prefer.
However, if there was science to it we would know right!
What is your plan?

Apparently I will be frequent releasing..it is cd 11 and I am either due to o on cd 14 or already od.
Did you ever use diet or rephresh?

[ttcadaughter2012]

My plan right now is to use the repHresh, vitex , cranberry pills and calcium and magnesium supplements. I am kind of iffy on the calcium as reading in here I see boy sways? I know I lack a lot of calcium I am not much of a milk drinker. I eat occasionally ice cream / use butter occasionally and eat cheese barely ever. So that was my plan right now. It is kind of hard to reduce all of my diet to girl favor so I am going to try as best as I can. I am taking any advice needed though!

[ttcadaughter2012]

Oh and I am also opking, tempting, charting, and checking cm and cervix if that helps :)

[lemon2012]

HEY ttc daughter!
The diet is hard....I am not that great on it and question a lot of what I eat!
The problem is the rephresh has caused a lot of people (in their opinion) to not get pregnant...just wondering if you will dtd freq all the way through o?
I agree about the calcium and I can see why it might sway boy with all the nutrients.

GOOD LUCK!!!
PS: do you think age matters? are you older or younger?

[ttcadaughter2012]

HEY ttc daughter!
The diet is hard....I am not that great on it and question a lot of what I eat!
The problem is the rephresh has caused a lot of people (in their opinion) to not get pregnant...just wondering if you will dtd freq all the way through o?
I agree about the calcium and I can see why it might sway boy with all the nutrients.

GOOD LUCK!!!
PS: do you think age matters? are you older or younger?

I haven't tried the diet yet so I wouldn't know if it was hard. I am going to attempt to try it though. I only just heard of the repHresh today so I can't say if that would cause me to not get pregnant but I figure it is one cycle to try it with and it can't really hurt. I don't plan to do it all the way through ovulation as that got me boys last time so I want to avoid it this time and cut date to like 2 days before ovulation. I haven't tried calcium supplements either so I couldn't say if they would sway towards boy only read on here that some had boys with it. I know with mine I didn't eat calcium so I figure another change and difference and 1 cycle to see what happens haha.
As for my age I don't think it would matter. I am only 27 and I don't consider that old . My boys were conceived at 22 , 24 and 26 so I don't know if that would matter. I know the chinese calendar for each of them told me I would expect a girl that month. But I don't go by them. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

You can only read so much into past cycles tho because you might have been doing a lot of other things to sway, you know???

MOST babies of either gender are conceived on O day or DBO so it means NOTHING that your boys were conceived those days. Most kids were conceived on those days. That's like saying, I saw 3 Republicans in a row going into the Capital Building so that means that everyone in the Capitol Building HAS to be Republicans. No, there are plenty of Democrats in the Capital Building too and just because you didn't see them in three tries it doesn't mean they aren't there. Maybe the Democrats like to use a different door or something. The best science indicates 50-50 boys and girls conceived 1 DBO and O day (and even a few more girls than boys on O day!)

If your husband can't abstain or you can't trust him to, I would go frequent all the way. Maybe even frequent with some compressed frequent for the actual attempt. Good luck!

[atomic sagebrush]

There IS science and the science is that timing doesn't matter and equal numbers of boys and girls are conceived every day of the cycle.

[Hobbermittens]

Atomic, I am confused about what day I O'ed this cycle. I *think* I O'ed on CD14, but it is possible that I O'ed CD15, maybe even 16?? I am having a very slow temp rise (I usually have that, but this time my temps are just crawling up). Anyway, the last time we DTD was CD14, so if worst case scenario I did O later, I think the latest possible would be about 36hrs after BD, is this "girl" timing? (I know you said girls and boys are conceived from BD at all times, but I think some times are more preferable to boys and some more preferable to girls, right?)

[rainbowflower]

Atomic, I am confused about what day I O'ed this cycle. I *think* I O'ed on CD14, but it is possible that I O'ed CD15, maybe even 16?? I am having a very slow temp rise (I usually have that, but this time my temps are just crawling up). Anyway, the last time we DTD was CD14, so if worst case scenario I did O later, I think the latest possible would be about 36hrs after BD, is this "girl" timing? (I know you said girls and boys are conceived from BD at all times, but I think some times are more preferable to boys and some more preferable to girls, right?)
if there was a timing that was conclusively (or even slightly) girl timing the studies would almost all have found it and would agree on it.
That timing is fine for swaying pink and gives you a good chance of pregnancy!

[zanacal]

Hobbers, there are plenty of boys conceived with a cut-off - even sway opposites where the mums were doing loads of other things! GL x

[atomic sagebrush]

Hobber, I do not feel that timing sways AT ALL and I have 3 of 4 boys who were conceived 2-4 DBO or maybe even more for DS 1. I had just gotten off AF with DS 1 and thought I was safe, with DS 2 DH changed his mind about TTC and pulled the plug in what we thought would be enough time, and with DS 3 DH wasn't even HOME when I ovulated.

The only reason why I include timing in some of the advice I give is because I know people do believe in it and esp. for blue swayers, it's easy to include without cutting down odds of pg by much.

[Hobbermittens]

Thanks Atomic! I feel better hearing that. Anyway, FF just decided that CD14 was my O day after all, which is what I thought as well, so hopefully it is right.

[Hobbermittens]

if there was a timing that was conclusively (or even slightly) girl timing the studies would almost all have found it and would agree on it.
That timing is fine for swaying pink and gives you a good chance of pregnancy!

Thanks Rainbow... I am actually swaying boy though...:suprise: FF just confirmed that I O'ed on CD14, when we DTD, so I think we are okay. I hope it works out in my favor!

[Hobbermittens]

Hobbers, there are plenty of boys conceived with a cut-off - even sway opposites where the mums were doing loads of other things! GL x

Thanks for the reassurance Zanacal! :) I think I actually did O on CD14 like I though--that's what FF says now, anyway. I'm going with it!

[ttcadaughter2012]

Thanks Atomic! I appreciate the advice!
Sonja

[atomic sagebrush]

JJ, I would personally go with the compressed FR instead. It is up to you of course and I'm sure there are plenty of people on IG who had their husbands abstain over 35. I just don't think it's safe enough for my liking.

I am not an expert on CBFM so maybe start another thread and ask so people who know, can chime in.

[dramabird]

I was thinking about maybe doing abstaining and DTD when I get a +OPK or the first peak day on my clear blue monitor (How long does it take to ovulate after getting your first peak on the cbfm?)

Hi JJ. I'm in my second cycle trying, but I did four test cycles with the CBFM first (along with temping). On three of those four months, I ovulated the day AFTER my first peak sign ... on one month, it was the day OF the first peak sign. Now, of course, with last month being my first true cycle trying, my temps said I O'd on CD11 and the monitor said I O'd on CD12 -- weird, right? So I would recommend considering that first peak symbol as "go time!" because you could ovulate within a matter of hours (or perhaps as long as 36-48 hours later).

[dramabird]

Thanks so much dramabird! Are you making that your first attempt or are you DTD before a peak?

Last month, we did a single attempt upon the first peak symbol. BFN that cycle. (boo! :)) So I'm switching up the strategy this time around to increase number of attempts. I don't weigh a lot -- I'm around 98 lbs. right now and don't want to lose too much weight and stop ovulating, so I'd like to get pg soon. Also, we're doing a fair number of fertility-suppressing things, including RepHresh, Sylk, Zyrtec and Benadryl, plus licorice root for him, and probably other things I'm forgetting. :) So I'm hoping multiple attempts will increase odds of pg without hurting the "pinkness" of my sway.

Anyhoo, the aforementioned strategy ... I'm on CD13 and have gotten "high" readings on the monitor for the past five or six days; based on past cycles, I'm thinking I will probably (hopefully) O tomorrow or Saturday. Also, this evening will mark DH abstaining for 10 days. So we're going to start DTD tonight. Ideally, our pattern will be: DTD tonight around 6 p.m., have him release and discard around 8ish p.m. and DTD one more time before bed. Then have him release and discard tomorrow morning and then we DTD late morning ... have him release/discard late afternoon and then we DTD at bedtime ... and for each day after that, have him release/discard in the morning or afternoon and then we DTD at bedtime, until O is confirmed. That way we will have the advantage of using the post-abstain sperm and then hopefully keep the overall sperm count low with frequent release/discard but also up the odds of pg with multiple attempts.

[zanacal]

Hi jjc - I would have DH release 3 times on day 14 then once or twice again on day 15 before DTD. I know Atomic prefers at least a couple of days for compressed frequent release and I think you're lowering your chances of pregnancy considerably by only having one attempt with a 2 day cut-off. Timing doesn't matter so you may as well make sure there are some sperm waiting for the egg when you O the next day! Your call though :D

[atomic sagebrush]

AS- I was thinking about having DH FR and BD on night 14 one time. I got a peak on my cbfm on day 15 this month. I think I ovulated on the 16. Should I have DH release one time in the morning and then one time right before our attempt and use his next release 10-15 minutes later? I was also thinking about BD once late on day 16 if I see CM drying up. DH would still be releasing.

Just to clarify, you are talking compressed FR, not FR, yes? If he's doing straight FR you don't have to do the release/dump, but if compressed FR, then yes, you should have him dump batches.

I agree with Zana and would like to see him have a day of release and dump without attempt but you gotta do the doable of course.

That seems like a good plan altho of course I would rather see you BD at a pos OPK rather than with cutoff/O+12.

[zanacal]

OK, I don't think it matters what he does before his 8-10 days of FR so I think I'd let him do whatever he fancies (it might be the last time he gets to pick and choose for a while!).

You could definitely have DH release without DTD and then use the second batch after his frequent release. Of course it might hinder your chances of conception but you could drop that part in future months if necessary. Just make sure he doesn't go more than 24 hours between releases on the days between your two attempts.

You asked on the other thread whether we had more than one attempt - no, it was just one attempt on O day.

[zanacal]

I had some strips but never really got any readings from them - the colour was always the same! I made sure not to test pH around our actual attempt. I kind of wish I hadn't bothered buying them at all! I was already doing everything I could/would have done to lower pH so there was no point in testing really.

I planned to DTD on O day because I don't think timing matters when you're doing all the other stuff and I really wanted to time our attempt for the greatest chance of pregnancy! I don't think it matters whether you DTD morning or evening so do whatever suits you and DH best. Morning was easiest for us so that's what we did.

[atomic sagebrush]

I wouldn't bother having him abstain and I would NEVER switch from abstain to straight FR anyway. I think straight FR can give time for sperm to recover (after abstain, that is) and my concern is that when you go from abstain to FR, his body "thinks" that he had a long dry spell and now "it's impregnating time" and straight FR may not be enough to deplete i.. With straight FR, it's more of a sneak attack where you're just gradually depleting him - his body never gets that signal that no sex is available, it just gradually starts getting depleted over time.

So it's like worse than nothing - the abstain is too far distant to yield any benefits at all, and at the same time you ~may~ end up giving an environmental signal that stimulates sperm production, and straight FR may not be enough to get the job done.

Best options:

Straight abstain + 1 attempt
STraight FR + 1 attempt or many attempts
Compressed FR + 1 attempt or many attempts
Abstain + 1 attempt then switch to VERY compressed FR for another attempt or two.

[BeadinMom]

AS Thank you! I would love to do abstaining but he is 37 and 4 months. I just don't want to risk it. I will have him FR 7-10 days before our attempt. My attempt will be one time (probably at night too) on the day I get my peak on my cbfm. This will probably only put me 8-16 hours before ovulation. I will have him release one time in the morning and one time again before our attempt at night. I might BD on the second day after ovulation too. Shooting for 6-12 hours after ovulation. We will see.

Good luck, JJC! I think I will be following the same plan of action you are and I think we may be ovulating around the same time! Wishing lots of pink baby dust for both of us! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Ladies, I did just write up a hopefully helpful essay about this topic and I'd like to get your feedback on it. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/9736-how-many-attempts-should-i-do-when-pink-blue.html#post172160

[BeadinMom]

Thanks Atomic! Just read it...it is INCREDIBLY helpful! :)

[HappyMedium]

Well....I was going to BD the week of O through O every day using Replens every other day. I am losing weight quickly and don't want to do this for another month LOL...Do you think the frequent BD would be okay then..probably BD 8 days in a row til one day past O....Not going to stress about it...

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I think that would be fine HMN - esp if you're using jelly that frequently.

Please be sure that your husband has released for at least 7 times before the earliest BD that could possibly get you pregnant - you can't count the 7 releases in your attempts because DH's sperm count will not be reliably lowered without the 7 releases before insemination. The attempts can't count in the number of FR.

[mkarntz1980]

wow i didnt know that, so would it be okay if DH pulled out 7 times, and then when closer to my 1 day cut off lol have him start releasing, say 7 days in a row inside of me?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, that's fine.

[4Giffins]

This is great!! Woo hoo..I now have a plan for BD!!

[True Blue]

My O pattern is typically cd15 but not to be relied on it has changed a day either way in past cycles.
So with that in mind and trying to plan the best blue sway I can with the best chances of conception (hard work :D ) would you recommend

4 day abstain with one shot BD on cd14 with O expected cd 15
Or
BD cd 11, 13, 15 to cover all fertile days? With a 4 day abstain before first BD on cd11?

Help!

[atomic sagebrush]

My O pattern is typically cd15 but not to be relied on it has changed a day either way in past cycles.
So with that in mind and trying to plan the best blue sway I can with the best chances of conception (hard work :D ) would you recommend

4 day abstain with one shot BD on cd14 with O expected cd 15
Or
BD cd 11, 13, 15 to cover all fertile days? With a 4 day abstain before first BD on cd11?

Help!

I'd BD CD 11, 13, 15. Totally. I don't think you need to do a 4 day abstain beforehand, just DON'T do a long abstain at any point before that - DTD or have DH release, every 2-4 days.

[True Blue]

O'ing on CD 13 this month it seems :worry: regular cylcles appear to be a thing of the past.

I wonder now if I were to BD every two days from day 6 through to 16 so 5 times in 10 days would it be to frequent. I fear if I try to plan to BD close to O I may miss it with it being unreliable.

Just as I thought I had it all worked out :worry:

Atomic thank you for replying :kissy:

Edited to ask what may be a totally whacky question but heregoes - if we were to BD, with protection, every two days during the 3 cycles while waiting for the TTC month would this encourage good spermies numbers or deplete numbers over such a period of time?

[atomic sagebrush]

Nope, BD every 2 days is perfect for blue. You could BD every two days from now till the cows come home and still be swaying blue! It's ideal for sperm health so doing it for 3 cycles is a great idea.

[True Blue]

Thank You Atomic :awe: I think I could just love you :highfive:

[honeybee]

Thank you so much for posting this! I was curious as to frequency when we start ttc in July! We would like to just BD every other day during the month for our blue sway to keep it as stress free for DH, as he wants to be surprised and never know my fertile time. However, if we are BD every other day, does DH need to abstain from releasing on that in-between day?
Thanks, and sorry if this has already been answered!

[atomic sagebrush]

No not at all, I'm happy to help.

Yes, he can't release on the inbetween days because releasing every day depletes sperm count and if he releases 7 days in a row, is actually a pink sway tactic!!

[honeybee]

Oh man! Maybe I should change up our frequency in the new year in the months leading up to ttc! We only have sex 1-2x a month, so maybe we should start trying every other day, with him practicing not releasing on the day in between so he can get used to it. I've been struggling with low libido for about a year now!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, that's going to sway pink for you. you may not be able to up it to that level (like going from 0 to 60 in 3 seconds haha) but even if you could increase to once every 4 days and then have him release once in between, that would be great.

[Alicewonder]

Hmm looks like DH and I were swaying blue? unintentionally when we conceived DS in June 2011.

We were trying to time O (I didn't know at the time you had to check OPk more then once a day, heck I think when I thought I was father out closer to AF Id check every other day duh! Dumb idea to try and save on the expensive OPKs that were making me frown cause i wasn't getting smilies. Apparently, I was missing them.

Anyway at first we'd try and bd one or twice a month guessing when O was (never seem to got positive OPk and think I was basing only on period and CM which tends to confuse me.

Then in June we bd like every two days and maybe every other day? I'm Trying to remember. Mostly In the day I believe it was.



Sounds like we were going blue?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yep, sounds like it to me!

now you can see how handy the IC's can be (Internet Cheapie OPK) because you can test 2-3 times a day and not even worry about the expense because you can get like 100 of them for the cost of 1 of the Clearblues.

BTW a lot of people ahve the misconception that you have to BD spot on O to get pg, but you really don't. Sperm can live inside you for days and days prior to ovulation and go onto fertilize the egg. So please don't feel like you HAVE to time sex to be right on O day in order to get pg, you can get pg even up to a week before (it's not that likely, but it is believed possible).

[Alicewonder]

So timing doesn't effect sway but its the frequency his sperm are released at. Correct? And my diet?

Dh- usually skips breakfast and he's lost like 50-60lbs since 2011 (I was preg with DS and he gained with more when I was preg he was 5' 7" 255-260 and now is more like 205lbs recently due to getting laid off last September and his eating habits changed (before it was ALOT more Soda and RICH foods and McDonalds) then icky Cdiff he caught (people who've been taking loads of antibiotics get it but Dh wasn't and got Super sick (he was in bathroom like constantly gross!
Maybe tmi ) anyway he caught it from probably someone not washing hands.
He took like 10 days of pills. And now Feels a lot better.

Dh doesn't drink caffeine except like soda. ( Im the coffee drinker at usally 2 cups day with a spleda. Then 2 more on like a Friday Night. He usually has subway (chicken,meatball or ham) or lunch meat sandwich (ham) actually we both usually do. Sometimes he also has sub dinner or soup (his eating habits are due to where he works.



We should change this right? Dh days he's willing to if it means a better chance at getting a daughter. DH is totally on board. He's even willing to switch too tighty whities from his loose boxers lol

Oh, and we haven't been DTD cause dr told us that I needed to wait to do anything cause I wasn't having my period (i just kind of got it back) and if we didn't want conceive ASAP that we should wait. Sounds like poppycock to me though but I'm no expert. Anyway so he Takes care of himself like 2 times a week. And kind of good to cause since he caught the CDiff we didn't want me to catch that too.

Also, how often should DH. *ahem take care of himself?


How will any of this effect our pink sway?

Wow! That is such a better price. I'm gonna plan on ordering by this weekend ( I think someone said wondofos?) and try n learn the lines. I keep screwing up temping cause the weather is making me either chilly or stuffy that leaves me with horrible drainage. That and if DS gets up. I like go to bed late (to see DH when he comes home (like 12:00am-2 most nights).

I got the clear blues after AF left this month cause I'm soo darn antsy to find out when and if I'm O'ing. Testing like around 2:20 in afternoon. So far nothing but AF just ended like last Wednesday. Making it about 8 days long. So weird cause before DS I had like really short 4-6 day periods and 32 day cycle.

[Alicewonder]

Sorry to bombard you with all this info. I just trying to give you a clear view.


Thanks Again!!

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't have time to answer in depth but OMword do not waste Clearblues if you have only just gotten off AF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are not going to ovulate until CD (cycle day) 10-14 at the earliest, so please don't waste your money testing if you only just got off AF (depending on when you get AF, that is.)

[Alicewonder]

I should clarify I didn't use the OPk until I was sure AF left no spotting that was like I started OPk Thursday, I'm on CD 13 now.

[pdxmommy]

Hi I am ttc a girl in september. I'm 29. DH is 41. I'm confused about timing and frequency of BD.
Should we do the 7-10 day abstinence and one time attempt at O-1
or
Frequent release or frequent BD?
I just want to increase my chances of conceiving and I would love to have a DD!

[atomic sagebrush]

Please do not do abstain if your husband is over 35.

Wanting to increase your chances of conceiving and also doing frequency sometimes don't work out too well together BUT I would have you try FR with one attempt at pos OPK.

[stephk]

Just wondering about not abstaining when over 35 - what if both DH and I are 35? I will turn 35 in September and DH on 30 November. If we TTC when he is up to 6 months from his 35 birthday would that be OK or pushing it too much? There is no way either of us would have the energy for FR for 7-10 days and there is no way I could get him to FR by himself even once. The only thing I would be able to do is get him to BD once a week. When we conceived DS we BD every 1.5 days in the fertile window (so thursday night, saturday morning, sunday afternoon and monday evening).

So my question is, when we are saying not to abstain over 35, do we mean 35 and over strictly, or do we mean 36 and over? Sorry if that sounds weird or stupid.

At this moment in time, I am thinking we may start TTC in Jan/Feb 2014 but it could be earlier depending on what role I go back to in September at work.

Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

I can't say what is ok and what isn't. That's your call to make.

There is no magic switch that gets flipped when your husband has his 35th birthday, you understand - the odds of male factor birth defects rises with age, and across the population as a whole, it begins to become statistically significant with men over 35. There are men who are 34 who may have issues, there are men 38 who may not - 35 is just the age when it begins to be higher than normal risks. The odds are still low that you'll have a baby with a problem, it's just something to consider http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/8801-articles-studies-about-why-abstain-not-good-males-over-35-a.html

Personally, it's not a risk I was ever comfy with considering I was also over 35 and had higher risk of issues myself. My philosophy has always been healthy eggs + healthy sperm = healthy baby and that's served me well even when I got pg at 41 (and also with a huge amount of luck and good fortune)

Abstain has barely gotten better than 50-50 anyway, at least in our stats. So I'm not entirely sure it's worth the risk. The other alternative is to do reg release with one attempt.

[stephk]

Thank you for replying - I understand. I suspected as much but just needed that sanity check if you KWIM.

[Coyleof7]

BD every second or third day will NEVER sway pink, only blue. For frequent BD to sway pink, it has to be every single day for 7-10 days. BD every 2-4 days is perfect for blue. :agree:

The more I read these essays the more cofused I get....thought I had it all planned out - but find myself in question again.

I should O on CD 13 this month and have been advised to use my rephresh on CD11 aiming to DTD on CD12...but now I'm wondering, please help?

AF (for me) is CD1-4. So hubby should FR CD 5-11? Then we DTD on CD12? But reading what I read we should be DTD every night CD5-11? Guess I'm asking "is he supposed to FR inside because I thought he wasn't to do that until night before O? I thought FR was him doing his thing, then getting rid of "whatever"...but now it says frequent BD???? Or have I just muddled myself up? :worry:

CD 12 will be 18th of this month, so not much planning time left xxx

[atomic sagebrush]

There is a difference between frequent RELEASE and frequent BD THRU O. They are two different things. Some people have religious objections to intercourse that cannot produce a pregnancy and prefer to do frequent BD thru O. They are both believed to sway pink, I believe FBD is riskier and peopel MUST take care to have 7-10 releases before the first one that can possibly get them pg.

Frequent release - 7-10 releases before having ONE attempt inside and that's all.

Frequent BD thru O - 7-10 releases inside before earliest date that you can possibly get pg, keeping in mind the fertile window can open 5 days before ovulation (so unless a woman has longer cycles, a couple would have to most likely have intercourse during AF which some people don't want to)

[toberized]

Hi,

I'm sorry to ask a question that may have been answered before, but was hoping to get some confirmation on my understanding.

We are swaying blue and are trying a bit of a non-hard core mix of HE diet and timing/frequency (2-4 days) sway. I've been using OPKs and thought I saw a very close to positive OPK last night (CD 18 - I have about 34 day cycles) so we BD'ed that night, but this morning (CD 19) the positive line is much darker and a clear positive so I think we have may attempted a bit early. As I had a miscarriage in October (we are trying after 2nd AF) getting pregnant is more important than gender selection so we will BD again tonight and maybe squeeze in a third attempt tomorrow evening (CD 20).

Do you think that back-to-back BD on CD 18, 19 (likely O day), and 20 is a bit risky for blue sway? I'm 34, husband is 37, and we had sex on CD 11 and 14 as well.

Thank you so much for all the information provided on this website. I find it to be one of the most intelligent, informative and open websites that is accommodating and accepting of not only the various types of methods out there, but also of just human nature to want something and attempt to achieve that goal. I am really impressed at your ability to gather and explain so much information, organise the website and answer everyone's posts all while managing a large family! Superwoman!

Thank you so much~

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so very much!! :heart: Not even close to Superwoman but still much appreciated.

I think for TTC Blue that pattern is GREAT!! I would LOVE to see more people do it that way but so many people get scared off by timing that they aren't willing to.

When you have attempts in the fertile window, all those swimmers are likely to stay alive and have a shot at the egg. So you are just adding more and more viable sperm to a fertile situation. :agree: all good for blue!!!

Very close to what got me a couple of my boys! good luck and blue dust!!

[odd]

Atomic ...not sure if I should start a new thread but thought I would ask here first .my hubby is finally on board with ttc girl ...but here's the thing

He is 35...working too much + stress so his libido is next to none...plus his sperm is really runny when we do manage to go for it maybe once a month (TMI SORRY)

he will absolutely not even attempt FR ...so should we abstain 7-10 days and then give it a go??

Also ..since he has no sex drive,does thst mean he has low sperm count??if so, is LR recommended???

Pls lemme know ...thanxxxxx a bunch

Sent from my SGH-T769 using Tapatalk 2

[toberized]

Thanks for the reply!

I actually don't think I will be ovulating this cycle (according to the u/s today), so will have to wait till next month, but will probably go with a similar attempt.

Thanks again!

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic ...not sure if I should start a new thread but thought I would ask here first .my hubby is finally on board with ttc girl ...but here's the thing

He is 35...working too much + stress so his libido is next to none...plus his sperm is really runny when we do manage to go for it maybe once a month (TMI SORRY)

he will absolutely not even attempt FR ...so should we abstain 7-10 days and then give it a go??

Also ..since he has no sex drive,does thst mean he has low sperm count??if so, is LR recommended???

Pls lemme know ...thanxxxxx a bunch

Sent from my SGH-T769 using Tapatalk 2

if he's only releasing like once a month then it's totally normal for there to be a lot of "baby batter".

there is nothing magic about being 35, it's just the age at which the statistical risks start to increase across the general population. There are guys who have issues at 30 and others who are fine at 40. so if you feel like you need to do abstain instead, then that is your call to make. I would feel ok with it at 35 as long as you don't have any history of babies with issues that could be traced to the male side of the equation.

A lot goes into sex drive and so I can't say if his low sex drive = low testosterone or not. And for sure can't say if it means low sperm count. He would need a sperm analysis for that.

The licorice root has gotten very good results so I would be loathe to leave it out without being pretty darn sure that he does have low T and/or low sperm count.

[odd]

Great :-)thank you sooooo muh

Sent from my SGH-T769 using Tapatalk 2

[grettasurfergirl]

Ahhh now I'm more confused... thought I had a plan but now I have no idea!

DH and I are closing in on 36 so sounds like we should not abstain. I don't think DH is too keen on doing FR either since it gets super tedious and it would be hard for him.

We have been trying for about 7 months (THANKS ATMOIC for my awesome customized plan!!!) but no BFP. I have dropped LE just this past month or two as it was getting too hard to keep it going.

So am wondering, what is the best way to increase chances of getting PG but with more than one attempt to increase odds? What about DTD every day to lower sperm count? Is that way too boy? Read about "Sperm meets Egg" method but that sounds like it would be a very boy sway.

Help!

[atomic sagebrush]

Tell me everything you guys are doing/using/taking gretta.

Has hubby had a sperm analysis? Would he be willing to? I had one person who couldn't get pg and we assumed it was the swaying, but it turned out her hubby was shooting blanks. This can happen even if you have been pg before (and for some reason I have it in my mind that this is your first baby??)

For frequency, I think you are best off doing the pattern of unprotected sex every 4 days and then one additional attempt at pos OPK. Two attempts (with overall pink sway) has gotten 65% success for pink and this number drops a LOT if you have 3 attempts (less than 50-50) so if there's any way to stick with the two attempts in fertile window, I think that's best. I don't think we're at the point where we are ready to go to SMEP, and this is particularly true if you are not doing diet any more. Gradual changes over time will enable you to get pg while still maintaining at least SOME sway tactics.

If you are already doing this, we have a couple options. My thinking is that it may behoove us to try using a little Robi/Muci and/or Preseed before adding attempts. People balk at that because they think these things sway blue, but 3 attempts sways blue too, so I think we have to at least be open to the possibility of trying to improve CM before adding attempts.

[Rosie85]

My cycles have been so off lately. I really have no clue what day I would O ahead of time as it has varied about 4-6 days each month and it can swing either way. For ttc pink what do you suggest for me and my husband? He is 29 and has a healthy drive and will be taking LR. When we conceived our first 2 boys it was sex constantly...so we were basically sealing our fate there. Last DS we did a 6 day cut-off, which I had previously thought would sway girl. We get pregnant on the first try every time as well. I was planning to abstain but should we not with the LR? I am unsure when we would start frequent release or how we would know the two attempt in the fertile window would work since I can't predict it easily. Maybe we should do compressed and have him release 2-3 times the one day we attempt before the big BD, is this correct? I am unsure how to use OPK's very well. Well now my words are all scrambled. I hope I was clear enough?!

[prayingforgirl]

Hi Atomic,

I am on CD12, probably going to ovulate tomm. Clear blue shows peak as well as OPK strip this morning. I used Rephresh this morning even though i used rephresh 2 days back only. Is that ok.
I will BD around 9-10 hours after using Rephresh. I took Cetrizine Antihistamine and will take Banadryl and DH will take sudafed 1-2 hours before.

DH did not take anything else for the sway. I am on LE diet for around 6 weeks now. No cal, mg supplements only folic acid. Took peppermint tea here and there and crystal light 2-4 servings a day.
My weight has been reduce by about 10lbs.

Does it all look like good to have a girl!

I am on my BD day. Please shoot anything that i can do to increase my chances for my DD.

DH abstaining since 10 days and we are going to try one attempt now (after +ve OPK). I am scared to death between cut off and +ve opk. Hope what i am doing give me by DG.
Since i will be BDing 12 hours ore more after positive OPK (May be i could have got positive OPK late in night or middle of night), Isnt it that i am BDing on the ovulation or very close to ovulation.
Does it still sway with abstain. I am thinking of jump and dump.

Appreciate any help from such a wonderful group especially Atomic who is always replying so patiently!

[atomic sagebrush]

I think it is best for you guys to focus on the overall sway. If there was some thing we could do at the last minute that helped a sway, we'd all only sway for one day.

Timing doesn't sway. It just doesn't work. Most of us on here have 2-3-4 opposites with timing to prove it! As long as you are having the one attempt that's what you need to do.

[HoningBijtje]

Hi Atomic,

I have a question, I am now swaying (for pink) about 12 weeks and have already made one attempt but unfortunately I am not pregnant yet. Because of my BMI, I would like to get pregnant as soon as possible. The last time we did frequent release for seven days with one attempt. My husband would rather do no more FR because it is so exhausting to endure this every day. I'm thinking now to do abstain. My husband is 33 years old (fyi).
I am on CD 5 now. Is abstaining for 8 days and one attempt (when I have a positive OPK) a good idea of would you recommend something else?
Thanks in advance.

[atomic sagebrush]

The one attempt is the most important thing. Abstain is fine if you want to use it but it certainly won't help you get pregnant any faster.

My recommendation instead would be to have DH do regular release, every 2-4 days starting now. Then when you get positive OPK, have one attempt. the regular release will ensure that there are enough sperm present for you to conceive with one attempt.

Another thing you could do instead is have unprotected sex every 4 days starting after AF and going thru until when you are 100% sure you have ovulated. This may help because if you miss your positive OPK< you'll still be in with attempt, plus it will be a good amount of sperm. It seems to work very similarly to one attempt and we are getting good results with it.

[Proud26]

This is all very confusing as I think I just read on another post that frequency wasn't important anymore. So for a girl I was planning on dh releasing every day, is that still a good plan? Also it scares me a bit to only try once. I need to be pregnant in February (with my two boys I got pregnant first month of trying) so worried it's a bit too risky. Husband is up for frequent release - this shouldn't be unprotected sexual though should it? I feel like I need a list of bullet points telling me the right and wrong things to do regarding frequency and when to actually have unprotected sex for a girl away :-(

[Proud26]

Also, what is the liquorice root for?

[atomic sagebrush]

This is all very confusing as I think I just read on another post that frequency wasn't important anymore. So for a girl I was planning on dh releasing every day, is that still a good plan? Also it scares me a bit to only try once. I need to be pregnant in February (with my two boys I got pregnant first month of trying) so worried it's a bit too risky. Husband is up for frequent release - this shouldn't be unprotected sexual though should it? I feel like I need a list of bullet points telling me the right and wrong things to do regarding frequency and when to actually have unprotected sex for a girl away :-(

Well, it's an older post and the majority of people want to start off doing a very strict sway and then drop tactics over time. Thus, I leave this info up for people who choose to give it a try with frequency even tho it is not really proving itself effective. I find it best to allow everyone to pick and choose from a variety of sway tactics and then track results because the "one size, fits all" approach doesn't work - we honestly do not KNOW what is best and it is only through trial and error, with every individual doing what they think will work best and feels right to them, that the trends will gradually begin to become obvious.

Obviously a person who needs to be pregnant in February is not going to be able to do these types of things. It would cut your odds of conception too far to try to add frequency. And I think it would be a misstep to keep frequency and add attempts (we went through a phase where we did just that and it was our lowest success rates in the 5 years of the site) Whenever someone is in a hurry to conceive, I think it is wisest to drop anything that doesn't work and cuts odds of conception (like daily release) to focus on what actually DOES. So you would lose the frequency totally, it just isn't going to gain you much, if anything and it will cut your chances of getting pregnant too far.

Thus, my recommendation to you would be to select one of the following:

Option A) have your husband do regular release every 2-4 days (this isn't a frequency pattern really, it would simply make a nice amount of swimmers) and then have one attempt at positive OPK. Lower odds conception, possibly better odds of pink

Option B) Have unprotected sex every 4 days plus one attempt at positive OPK (this would be 2 attempts in fertile window) Higher odds of conception, still pretty good results for pink.

[atomic sagebrush]

Also, what is the liquorice root for?

Lowers testosterone and raises estrogen.

LR has not gotten fab results of late and I think it would prob. cut odds of conception too far for you guys.

[Proud26]

Thanks for the advice x

[atomic sagebrush]

^^^Also I forgot to mention with your husband's job of being a personal trainer I would not use LR for him anyway as it may cause physical changes to his ability to store muscle vs. fat and would be detrimental to him

[Saartje]

Hi Atomic, i'm 30years old and my husband is 35 years old. We have a big wish for a girl after having two boys...
I have one problem: i just cant find my ovulation and my cycle is very irregular (28days, 36 days, 30days and 36 days) What is your advice about frequency of BD pink? I really hope you can help me. Thanks!

[atomic sagebrush]

I would have you guys BD unprotected every 4 days. This method has been quite effetive for us (75%)

[Saartje]

Thank you for your quick response Atomic!
Is BD every 4 days enough or should i use Represh before every BD? (My PH is 4) Or does my husband has to ejaculate before BD to reduce sperm? We had or boys by having BD every 2 days.
Thans you for helping me Atomic.

[atomic sagebrush]

It is up to you if you want to add either or both of those things. They do cut odds of conception and neither have seemed very helpful (RepHresh in particular appears to do nothing) BUT if you want to add them the first month or two, you can do that and always drop them later.

[sa76]

Hi Atomic, I'm not sure what to do. I am 35 and DH is 39. We have two boys - got pg very quick (second month of TTC). Last year in september we BD every day in my fertile window, got pg and had a mc (didn't know about swaying that time). Doctor said baby was not growing since week 9 of pg. This month we want to try again, but now I'm not sure what the best method for "pink" would be. Some times I o at CD 14, sometimes at CD 16, there was a month I oed at CD 20. So as I said DH is 39, how about DTD every day or abstain when I don't know when I will o - I'm afraid of making it worse and not getting pg because of "less or bad" sperms. Can you please give me a advice. Thank you!!!
Oh, and what is e4d, just asking because I have read a post and I am not sure if I understand right... Thanks once more!

[atomic sagebrush]

What I'd do in that case is either have your husband release every 2-4 days and then have one attempt at positive OPK, or else have unprotected sex every 4 days starting after AF ends and going thru till when you're sure you've ovulated.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[sa76]

Thank you. So we can start to try again. New year, new luck ��

[sa76]

Aaaahhhh, I'm totaly freaking out! We bd last week on tuesday, then saturday night - It was more sunday morning when I came home from a party at four in the morning. And niw, this morning I had abpositive opk. Should we do one more attemt today or tommorow or do you think it was enough on saturday/sunday morning??? Aaahhh - help please ��

[atomic sagebrush]

I would stick with the attempt you had unless you're in a super huge hurry to conceive.

[sa76]

Hello, it's me again �� BD e4d did not work last cycle. Would be great to get pg this time - DH is off the next three month just in estimated ovulation time �� Any recommendation for me? �� I have read so much in this forum about pink sway and now my brain is overloaded. Don't know what would be the best..... Thank you once again!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hello, it's me again �� BD e4d did not work last cycle. Would be great to get pg this time - DH is off the next three month just in estimated ovulation time �� Any recommendation for me? �� I have read so much in this forum about pink sway and now my brain is overloaded. Don't know what would be the best..... Thank you once again!

I'd do e4d plus one attempt at positive OPK or e3d whatever is better for you.

[ps17]

Hi Atomic, I have been wandering over the internet for a lot of information for my BLUE Sway :bluesperm: I am glad that I found you. :bighug: Since morning I have been reading your posts and they all make so much sense. I BD last month twice on O day. But it didn't click. In the last attempt there was an abstinence of 1-8 days for DH. I think it was huge and then there were two attempts on the O-day itself. I would TTC this month too :) . About the diet, I didn't do anything much last time, except excluding dairy for about two weeks.

Can you pls tell me the supplements I should be taking. Also how frequent has to be my BD. I am thinking of it to be on O-1, O and O+1. Would be sway good for me? I will plan as per you now and will make a note of them :) Please let me know the duration of abstinence as well.


Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

Personally I got 4 boys drinking and eating tons of dairy and gave it all up to get my girl. So while it's fine if you want to do that, just be sure you're getting a lot of good animal fat from other sources like meat and butter and eggs since animal fats sway strongly blue.

I would be taking a prenatal or multivitamin with 100% of all the "good stuff" and 1000 IU Vit. D. I'd also take fish oil 500 mg or a DHA supp designed for pregnancy instead, and a probiotic. I wouldn't bother with anything else since you're doing kind of a last minute sway here.

I would have you have at least 3 attempts - one the night of positive OPK (or O-1), again the next morning (O Day) and then again THAT night (O Day). Do not have attempt O+ 1, but do start having sex every other day after your attempts in case your ovulation was delayed a little.

I'd have hubby releasing every 2-4 days. It's up to you if you want him to do that on his own, with you with a non-spermicide condom, or unprotected BD. If you want to stick with Shettles you'd not want to have the unprotected BD, of course.

[ps17]

Thanks Atomic!!

Trust me, I was about to postpone the DTD for the next month (before I read your post), as according to those Chinese calender and all, it predicted PINK. But reading your theories, I would not like to waste a month. Initially, I was sceptical of my O being in no-moon phase too (more I read, more it all confused me, n number of theories flowing here and there). But your theory convinced me good and so I am thinking of not wasting one month like this. If nothing clicks, I would have ample time to prepare myself for DTD next month anyhow. I have a beautiful daughter and would hence sway BLUE next. I hope I am able to do it good.

Thanks a ton always!! A big hug to you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hugs back! Just let me know how I can help!

[Emz90]

I would love a little girl next i have read everything abd am confused wheb to have unprotected sex. My partber likes ti have sex every other day. Sometimes every day. I was wondering hiw best I coukd try for a girl?

I cannit follow a diet because I recently recovered from an eating disorder. My cycles can range from 30 days to 50 days. I have just finished breast feeding.

Could I have sex every ither day and have him release in me or does that sway boy? I just can never tell when I ovulate.
I have used ovusense in the past which shows high temps when i ovulate and have shown day 34 sometimes.

Should i only have sex 4 days before ovulation..i have read timing is nothing to do with it. I had my boy by having sex 3 days before and day of ovulation

so confusing.

I would so love ur help to help me sway girl xx

[Emz90]

Ps I eat dairy a lot due to having weak bones

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome, Emz!

Can you just go vegetarian or is that too much with your ED?? It is fine if you can't, just thought I'd mention that as that is something that has helped some of our ED swayers.

Do not have him release in you every other day. That does seem to sway blue. Just have unprotected sex every 4 days. This has been a good pink sway and also won't make you feel so stressed out over when you ovulate. Then in between, when hubby wants to, you can have sex with protection. Many of our husbands have not wanted to change their BD pattern and this is what has worked for us.

Timing doesn't sway. Most of us, like you, have had timing opposites. But every 4 days is getting good results for us!

[TtcBlue18]

My positive OPKs always fall between cd13 and cd16 (so far, I've only tracked it the last 4 months).. I would like to try for 2 attempts (preferably O-2 and morning of O) but of course I don't know what O-2 would be since my positives are never on the same day from one month to the next. How do I determine when to BD to get as close as possible to O-2? The only thing I have noticed so far is cm increases about 2 days before I get a positive, but what if I go by that and it turns out I don't get a positive until 4 days later? Does that mean I only get one real attempt on morning of O or should I dtd every 2 days starting at cd11? I keep racking my brain on this.

[atomic sagebrush]

You won't.

Is there a particular reason why you want to do it like that? I do not think that will give you best chances of a boy at all.

What I have most people do is do day of positive OPK and O day. I have people aim for 3 but most end up with 2 attempts.

Day of positive OPK means you'll be 24-36 hours or so out from O, so it's all good in terms of attempts.

If you MUST do it just that way then you'd need to get a fertility monitor and BD the second flashy day and then again the day of second solid peak. But I really do not think that will be your best shot at all.

[TtcBlue18]

Oh, gosh I'm really glad I asked you then! I was planning to do it that way because for whatever reason I thought that was what was best for blue. I've been reading so many posts lately and mixing things up that I don't know what I was thinking.

I do want all my attempts to be in morning, just because of the sperm count.. and also we've never been morning people so I feel that it's a good change to incorporate since it's different than our girls.

Do you think morning of positive OPK and the following morning would be best for me?

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, you're kind of misunderstanding sperm count. It's fine to BD in the morning if you want to - but the problem is you're not going to KNOW the morning of OPK because you won't get it till later (when I'm assuming hubby will be at work!) And O Day attempts are notoriously lower odds of conception (altho morning of O Day is good in my book)

Sperm batches IN the fertile window will only ADD to your sperm numbers. Even if the individual batches are smaller, by adding more attempts you will end up with more in the end anyway. Again, numbers to illustrate this:

To illustrate, let's say you have two BD, one O-1 and one O Day. Each of them is 20 mil sperm. total 40 million. But you could have had 3 attempts O-1, O am, O pm - 20 million, 17 million, 15 million - 52 million sperm. Even tho the second two batches were smaller, the total adds up.

It is ONLY attempts outside of the fertile window you need to avoid. So you don't want to "waste" sperm (except for the every 2-4 day BD if you are doing that) with attempts out of the fertile window, but once that window opens on O-3 or O-2, then it's all good, all those sperm have a shot at staying alive in the EWCM to find that egg. It is a cumulative effect.

I understand that you never got pregnant in the morning before but about "doing the opposite" - that only works when the things you were doing the opposite on, were the reasons why you got girls to start with!! Do not try to do the opposite on things that had no effect or worse still, undermine your sway (like insisting on BD only in the morning). I can assure you I have literally NEVER had sex in the morning and got boys at night! No one's sway has ever come down to the time of day they BD on. Remember, if a boy doesn't have enough nutrients to grow up big and strong at 10 pm, he won't have enough at 8 am and it makes no difference what time of day you BD on. Just doesn't make sense given what we know about the reasons why girls and boys are conceived from animal studies. :) HTH.

[TtcBlue18]

This makes so much sense. Thank you so much! We have never really had time to dtd regularly, which is odd given our ages, but dh is a farmer and always exhausted when he does finally get home. So I'm thinking if we can manage to swing every 4 days that will be a drastic difference for us.

So dtd every 4 days from Af to positive OPK, and then try to get 3 attempts in within the next 36 hours, am I following this correctly?

Also, how do I know when the fertile window is open when my OPKs are never on the same cycle day? (Like if we dtd every 4 days and then the day after we just BD I get a positive? Would we just bd again even though it's the very next day, or would that sway pink because it's reduced sperm--because we did it two days in a row, and the first was before positive opk?)

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes exactly!! It doesn't sound unusual to me as this is the same thing I hear from lots of blue swayers. So if you can change up this one thing it will really help.

Yes if you BD on day before you get a positive, you still BD the next night. The fertile window is actually open the day before you get a positive (it is simply that we cannot predict that you'll get a pos the next day!)

When I'm talking about attempts before the fertile window opens I mean 4 or more days before ovulation.

BD two days in a row doesn't lower sperm count much if at all anyway. It takes 7-10 days of back to back release to do that.

[TtcBlue18]

Great! Thank you! I'm so happy I double checked all this stuff I had read other places and/or put together myself. So so nice to know everything will be done correctly now!

[Mums]

I'm lost!

Finally got my +opk today
Have not dtd at all

I'm trying for blue

Should I skip and next month bd like crazy from Af?

Thanks!

[Mums]

I'm on cd22 by the way

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm lost!

Finally got my +opk today
Have not dtd at all

I'm trying for blue

Should I skip and next month bd like crazy from Af?

Thanks!

Agh I didn't catch this yesterday, yes I'd have you hold off this month esp. given the turnaround from pink to blue sway!

If you did go ahead last night, do try to be in with a couple more attempts today if possible, and another tomorrow as well, and then every other day after that.

[Mommykisses]

I will ovulating in about 5 -6 days . We were going to do FR but things have gotten in the way of that and
Now it seems like we are Bd'ing every couple days . I don't want to make hubby abstain as I know it's really
Hard for him and I still want to keep things happy . What method as for releases would you suggest to do along with one attempt ?

[atomic sagebrush]

Many people just let their husbands "do what he does" and then have the one attempt.

[marcinhabrazil]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

Did you have a question?? I think your phone may have posted without your question!

[Mia2000]

Hello Atomic,

I'm soo confused :Sorge:
We TTC for a girl. Today I am CD5. And the thing I don't understand is the frequenz :mit den Augen rollen:

My O-Day is between CD13-15. What is the best frequenz for our pink dream? BD every Day seems not to bring a pg.
And bd every 2-4 days is for Swaying blue.
Should We dtd another time at CD7,then nothing and when opk is positive one bd?
Or Should we releases on CD6 and CD10 (with hand or condoms) and have one bd, when opk is positive?
Or Should we dtd (with condoms) every Day until opk is positive and have then one bd?
...? 🤔

Best regards,
Mia

[atomic sagebrush]

BD every day is not a good method and I do not recommend that anyway. https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/58359-what-up-bd-thru-o-pink-lately.html

We do see good chances of pink with BD every 4 days. I have a long essay about that but I think we may have a language barrier here so I'll just try to explain in simple words: Have unprotected sex every 4 days either Monday/Thursday (better odds of conception) or Monday/Friday (better odds of pink). Start this pattern after your period ends and continue all month even after you think you have ovulated.

Or, if you don't want to do that you can have your husband release every 4 days and then have one attempt.

I would have you start off having your husband release and have the one attempt. Try that for 2 or 3 months and then start having sex every 4 days.

[Mia2000]

Thank you soo much Atomic!!!

We will dtd on monday (=cd 9).
And the second dtd?
=> When the opk (we use clearblue advanced) is positive...
1)... on wednesday? Should We have the second dtd on wednesday?
2)...on thursday?... => second bd on thursday?
3)...on friday?... => second bd on friday?

[atomic sagebrush]

How many months have you been trying to conceive??

We like to start off with a lower chance of conception and better chance of pink unless you have been trying for a long time!

If you let me know how long you have been trying I can give you better advice.

[Mia2000]

This is the sixth cycle.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. In that case I would want to have you doing every 4 days.

So CD 9, 12, 15, etc. And keep going with this even after you think you've ovulated.

[JoJo1984]

There’s a lot of options here for seating girl. Which one has the best odds for swaying... which one do you recommend?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[BabyRendu]

I O during CD13 or 14 n my AF is normally 5 days long so assuming this month my AF (its consistent) comes on 17 Mar and Im done by 22 Mar. I DTD 24, 26, 28, 30 (Expected O date, DTD at night of 30), 31 (DTD morning and night). I know more sperms more chances but at the same time will it attract the girl to the egg first?

Iam a mum of 2 daughters and I should have DTD a few days before O and just one attempt which explains the reason for getting gals but my hubby is active so I wonder y.. Hmmmm..

[atomic sagebrush]

There’s a lot of options here for seating girl. Which one has the best odds for swaying... which one do you recommend?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We can't test all these things. That is not the purpose of me writing that - we do not have the capability to run scientific studies on these things. I write that stuff to lay it out there for you guys to do what feels right to you. These are possible ways to do your sway, follow your gut instinct because we can't test all of them (and the things we have tested, like abstain and FR have not worked anyway)

The thing I believe works is the one attempt. Do whatever frequency pattern you want to do, but the one attempt works.

[atomic sagebrush]

I O during CD13 or 14 n my AF is normally 5 days long so assuming this month my AF (its consistent) comes on 17 Mar and Im done by 22 Mar. I DTD 24, 26, 28, 30 (Expected O date, DTD at night of 30), 31 (DTD morning and night). I know more sperms more chances but at the same time will it attract the girl to the egg first?

Iam a mum of 2 daughters and I should have DTD a few days before O and just one attempt which explains the reason for getting gals but my hubby is active so I wonder y.. Hmmmm..

No, more BD rounds in the fertile window do NOT attract the girl sperm to the egg. That's not a thing.

The thing you DO need to avoid for blue is having sex many days in a row before the fertile window opens. So do NOT have sex day after day after day starting when AF ends and going through ovulation. Because by the time the egg shows up, your husband will be making smaller batches and less sperm may sway pink. So be sure you have him doing regular release (every 2-4 days) during the early days of the cycle and then have 3-5 attempts in the fertile window. That is ok because once the fertile window is open, the sperm can stay alive and so even if the batches get a bit smaller over time, you will be adding more and more sperm to the mix.

Example:

BD daily starting after AF ends - you could end up with very small batches by the time the fertile window opens so we'll say for sake of illustration that this ends up being only like 5 million sperm.

O-3, O-2, O-1, O Day x 5 million sperm per batch ends up being 20 million sperm

BUT by waiting till the fertile window opens (while having hubby do regular release every 2-4 days to maximize sperm numbers)

O-2 100 million sperm
O-1 - 50 million sperm
O Day - 20 million sperm

Even though it does get less, by the batch, all those sperm have a chance of surviving and you're adding more and more sperm so you could end up with like 170 million sperm on hand (many will die, of course)

It's a matter of putting those attempts at a point in your cycle where they can stay alive to meet the egg! More sperm = more boys conceived. :)

[BabyRendu]

No, more BD rounds in the fertile window do NOT attract the girl sperm to the egg. That's not a thing.

The thing you DO need to avoid for blue is having sex many days in a row before the fertile window opens. So do NOT have sex day after day after day starting when AF ends and going through ovulation. Because by the time the egg shows up, your husband will be making smaller batches and less sperm may sway pink. So be sure you have him doing regular release (every 2-4 days) during the early days of the cycle and then have 3-5 attempts in the fertile window. That is ok because once the fertile window is open, the sperm can stay alive and so even if the batches get a bit smaller over time, you will be adding more and more sperm to the mix.

Example:

BD daily starting after AF ends - you could end up with very small batches by the time the fertile window opens so we'll say for sake of illustration that this ends up being only like 5 million sperm.

O-3, O-2, O-1, O Day x 5 million sperm per batch ends up being 20 million sperm

BUT by waiting till the fertile window opens (while having hubby do regular release every 2-4 days to maximize sperm numbers)

O-2 100 million sperm
O-1 - 50 million sperm
O Day - 20 million sperm

Even though it does get less, by the batch, all those sperm have a chance of surviving and you're adding more and more sperm so you could end up with like 170 million sperm on hand (many will die, of course)

It's a matter of putting those attempts at a point in your cycle where they can stay alive to meet the egg! More sperm = more boys conceived. :)

Thks for the valuable information. I saw many other forums or sucessfuly boy sway stating about abstraining to get boys but here as per your advise you have asked to DTD 2-4days after AF. I do understand about the part where once I get the positive OPK I do that night, the following morning and that night. So where will the abstraining part come in when we are DTD O-2, O-1 and on O?

[atomic sagebrush]

If you really are too scared to BD outside of the fertile window you can also have your husband release every 2-4 days instead. Whichever you feel more comfortable with, although virtually all of us with lots of boys do exactly that - have regular unprotected intercourse during our non-fertile times of the month, and then when we're trying to prevent pregnancy, use contraception around O, and when trying to conceive, we have lots of sex around O.

"abstaining" is a PINK sway tactic, not blue. You do not want to abstain any longer than 4 days maximum. There is NO magic to a 4 day abstain for blue - just having hubby release every 2-4 days accomplishes what the 4 day abstain is supposed to.

If you want to include a 4 day abstain prior to your attempts for blue, that's ok of course, (just not necessary) Hubby should not release starting 4 days before you expect your positive OPK (this will be 1-2 days before you expect to ovulate). Personally I think you would be better off having him aim at only a 2-3 day abstain before you expect the positive OPK, that way if it's late, you will still fit in the 2-4 day window.

[BabyRendu]

If you really are too scared to BD outside of the fertile window you can also have your husband release every 2-4 days instead. Whichever you feel more comfortable with, although virtually all of us with lots of boys do exactly that - have regular unprotected intercourse during our non-fertile times of the month, and then when we're trying to prevent pregnancy, use contraception around O, and when trying to conceive, we have lots of sex around O.

"abstaining" is a PINK sway tactic, not blue. You do not want to abstain any longer than 4 days maximum. There is NO magic to a 4 day abstain for blue - just having hubby release every 2-4 days accomplishes what the 4 day abstain is supposed to.

If you want to include a 4 day abstain prior to your attempts for blue, that's ok of course, (just not necessary) Hubby should not release starting 4 days before you expect your positive OPK (this will be 1-2 days before you expect to ovulate). Personally I think you would be better off having him aim at only a 2-3 day abstain before you expect the positive OPK, that way if it's late, you will still fit in the 2-4 day window.

O-8 DTD Protected
O-6 DTD Protected

Fertile Window
O-4 DTD 1st attempt
O-2 DTD 2nd attempt
O-1 DTD 3rd attempt
Est O(AM) DTD 4th attempt
Est O(PM) DTD 5th attempt

Something like this is correct?

[atomic sagebrush]

That's how I like to see you guys do it! Very much the way that I and most of the boy moms on here got our little guys. :) :bluecheer: :bluecheer: :bluecheer:

[BabyRendu]

Atomic we DTD unprotected for CD6 and CD8.. Is it ok.. Im nervous.
Today is my CD4...

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes! That is how many of us boy moms, myself included, got our boys. We had regular unprotected sex outside of our fertile window, and then when we were NOT trying to get pregnant, used protection only during our fertile window. Then when we were trying to conceive, we stopped using protection and had unprotected sex during our fertile window too!

Shettles DOES NOT WORK. It's been debunked as much as it is possible for anything in science to be debunked. Dozens of studies have shown it doesn't work. I know it's hard to let it go but studies have shown regular unprotected sex boosts your fertility and everything that boosts fertility, seems to sway blue!

[BabyRendu]

Yes! That is how many of us boy moms, myself included, got our boys. We had regular unprotected sex outside of our fertile window, and then when we were NOT trying to get pregnant, used protection only during our fertile window. Then when we were trying to conceive, we stopped using protection and had unprotected sex during our fertile window too!

Shettles DOES NOT WORK. It's been debunked as much as it is possible for anything in science to be debunked. Dozens of studies have shown it doesn't work. I know it's hard to let it go but studies have shown regular unprotected sex boosts your fertility and everything that boosts fertility, seems to sway blue!


Thks I feel so gd knowing this. Debunked n I know it well based on how I conceive my gals.. Yes need to let it go.. let it go.. :)
N sorry it was supposed to be unprotected done CD8 & CD6 and O-4.
Tomorrow will be O-2 so we will DTD O-2, O-1 and on O..

Using preseed (a coin size) this whole week too.. Fingers toes crossed....

[atomic sagebrush]

You are doing exactly perfectly! Keep up the good work and sending you tons and tons of blue dust!

[BabyRendu]

Atomic small problem. I didnt get my expected LH surge on 30 Mar so wat should I do now? It was consistent these few months but now I dont have the surge yet. Could it be because DH is releasing into me (Sorry TMI) this month? Im still BD-ing every 2days. Yesterday we still DTD. Is there a chance that I may not be able to detect an LH surge? Im afraid I might miss the 5 attempts.

[atomic sagebrush]

No, DH releasing in you cannot affect your LH surge. Sometimes when you're tense about TTC it can delay ovulation. What supplements are you taking? Some supplements can also delay or even stop your ovulation.

I would keep having regular sex and testing for LH surge.

Are you having a lot of EWCM?? Or any other symptoms that are telling us that ovulation may be coming?? If you think you are ovulating, have a couple extra attempts even if you don't get a surge (you can get false negative LH strips.)

[BabyRendu]

Supplements
Vit D
Folic Acid
Omega 3
probiotics
Guanefesin

Yes I had CM hanging (TMI) when I use the toilet which I normally dun have. Could be due to diet and lots of coconut water and guanefesin. I had cramps yest which I believe may not be reliable. I just went with my instincts and had attempt yest and today morning and intend to have it tonight too. Yest night when I check my opk no signs but the day before 1st Apri (CD14) I had the below mentioned results.. Previous months both lines were way way darker. So I believe this is not a surge or is it?

39183

[atomic sagebrush]

I suspect it's coming, take a day off now, keep testing with OPK, and then hit it again with a couple attempts not today but tomorrow.

This doesn't look positive to me but sometimes you can be surging and then the OPK are false negatives. your symptoms make it sound like O will be coming along soon, but you can have those symptoms for days before surge occurs so I don't want to completely exhaust DH in case the real surge is coming.

[BabyRendu]

I suspect it's coming, take a day off now, keep testing with OPK, and then hit it again with a couple attempts not today but tomorrow.

This doesn't look positive to me but sometimes you can be surging and then the OPK are false negatives. your symptoms make it sound like O will be coming along soon, but you can have those symptoms for days before surge occurs so I don't want to completely exhaust DH in case the real surge is coming.

Yes agreed. Now all the OPK are just one line unlike the others I saw.. Maybe like you said maybe Im getting false negatives but surging.. Shall keep testing though..

[atomic sagebrush]

Just keep BD every other day for now and see what happens! FX and blue dust headed your way

[BabyRendu]

Yes sure cos the lines are no longer visible.. :(
Thanks so much for your advise all along...

[atomic sagebrush]

The OPK are not the end all, be all! It may be that you have not Oed yet and having attempts doesn't hurt anything. :)

[BabyRendu]

So sad today I got my AF. This is the first time I didnt manage to be pregnant. With both my gals I got preggy with one attempt.. Looks like I gotto try again. Maybe cos im 34 this year and not able to conceive anymore. :worry:

[atomic sagebrush]

It is actually pretty rare to get pregnant the first time trying. It takes an average of 3-6 months to conceive. So if you've gotten pregnant faster than that in the past, it's simply good luck and not a guarantee that it will always be that way, and it does not mean anything is wrong with you at all.

34 is still YOUNG.

[BabyRendu]

It is actually pretty rare to get pregnant the first time trying. It takes an average of 3-6 months to conceive. So if you've gotten pregnant faster than that in the past, it's simply good luck and not a guarantee that it will always be that way, and it does not mean anything is wrong with you at all.

34 is still YOUNG.


Still having hope.. Will try this month again and the following.. I dunno if I can be on this HE diet as Im putting on weight too... So sad and lost.. Thks for your advise Atomic. Sometimes when things dont happen the way we want we think something is wrong..

[atomic sagebrush]

Can you tell me more about what you're eating?? Often there are a few changes we can make that will slow or stop the weight loss. Start off by dropping fruit juice and cutting WAY back on sugar, grains, fruit (especially bananas) and potatoes. YOu do NOT need to be stuffed and miserable to make a boy.

[MamaT]

Hi! I’m new here and looking for advice. I have a DS whom I love dearly but TTC a girl for our next child. Obviously, I just want a healthy baby and pregnancy. However, wanting to try for a girl. DH and I BD 4/15 & 4/16. I got peak fertility on my Clear Blue OPK this morning (4/18). Should we BD tonight or is it too close to O day??

[BabyRendu]

Can you tell me more about what you're eating?? Often there are a few changes we can make that will slow or stop the weight loss. Start off by dropping fruit juice and cutting WAY back on sugar, grains, fruit (especially bananas) and potatoes. YOu do NOT need to be stuffed and miserable to make a boy.

Morning: 2 big spoons of Oats and 1 small piece of dark chocolate
After an hour: I bread with peanut butter/ 2 bread with ham and cheese

Drinks: Coconut water (Fresh)
Snack: Dates with Almond nuts/ Oat cookies

Lunch: Always mixtures cos in Singapore different types of food so I try to include chicken vege or salmod with fries

Snack: Banana/ Raisins/ Grapes

Dinner: Same include food with protein and Carb

Snack before bed: Full cream milk with cereal

Throughout the day lemon juice

I feel stuffed all the time.. Let me know if anything is wrong. I dropped green tea cos Im not sure if that messed up my last month cycle..

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi! I’m new here and looking for advice. I have a DS whom I love dearly but TTC a girl for our next child. Obviously, I just want a healthy baby and pregnancy. However, wanting to try for a girl. DH and I BD 4/15 & 4/16. I got peak fertility on my Clear Blue OPK this morning (4/18). Should we BD tonight or is it too close to O day??

I did answer this in another thread but reading this I now have a greater understanding of your question.

When you're asking "when to stop BD" you are worried it is too close to ovulation. Got it.

But. Timing does not sway, it's been completely debunked, and most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites. I got 3 boys with cutoffs (other boy was a sneak attack) and then got my girl late at night the day before O Day (it WAS technically O Day!).

Since you generally ovulate an average 36 hours after your peak by having had attempt last night, you would have still been a solid day or even longer. Many people will O 48 hours or even up to 72 hours after that first peak. So it's very possible that you will be still in Shettles timing anyway.

I have a full debunking against timing and swaying here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

[atomic sagebrush]

Morning: 2 big spoons of Oats and 1 small piece of dark chocolate
After an hour: I bread with peanut butter/ 2 bread with ham and cheese

Drinks: Coconut water (Fresh)
Snack: Dates with Almond nuts/ Oat cookies

Lunch: Always mixtures cos in Singapore different types of food so I try to include chicken vege or salmod with fries

Snack: Banana/ Raisins/ Grapes

Dinner: Same include food with protein and Carb

Snack before bed: Full cream milk with cereal

Throughout the day lemon juice

I feel stuffed all the time.. Let me know if anything is wrong. I dropped green tea cos Im not sure if that messed up my last month cycle..

You are eating quite a bit of calorically dense foods. Some things that could be changed (and you don't need to change ALL of them, and it's fine to keep doing them sometimes and just not every day):

You could cut everything you eat in 1/2 and have smaller servings

You could drop one or even two of the snacks (keep the bedtime snack!)

Switch things like bananas, raisins, bread or drop them completely, as they are very carby and not that nutritious anyway

Here is what a sample day would look like.

In the morning, have EITHER some oats with peanut butter or milk (PB and milk are adding protein) OR fruit and peanut butter (you could put your banana here if you want, or an apple or pear) OR a half a ham and cheese sandwich (and you can leave the cheese off, and save some calories

Stick with just the nuts for a snack. The dates and cookies are much more sugary and less nutritious. Nuts have protein and carbs in them so you only need them, no need for anything else.

Lunch sounds fine as does dinner, but you may want to have slightly smaller portions, cut back by 1/3 or 1/2 if you're really eating large meals.

I don't see any point in having a snack that is just fruit. It's not protein and carbs and it is only adding calories. Unless you're hungry here, this is a good snack to give up. Raisins, grapes, and bananas are really quite sugary and unlike some other fruits don't add much in the way of nutrition anyway.

Keep that bedtime snack.

If the weight keeps coming on, drop the chocolate.

[MamaT]

I did answer this in another thread but reading this I now have a greater understanding of your question.

When you're asking "when to stop BD" you are worried it is too close to ovulation. Got it.

But. Timing does not sway, it's been completely debunked, and most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites. I got 3 boys with cutoffs (other boy was a sneak attack) and then got my girl late at night the day before O Day (it WAS technically O Day!).

Since you generally ovulate an average 36 hours after your peak by having had attempt last night, you would have still been a solid day or even longer. Many people will O 48 hours or even up to 72 hours after that first peak. So it's very possible that you will be still in Shettles timing anyway.

I have a full debunking against timing and swaying here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

Ohhhh I always thought the closer you are to O day, the more likely you are to have blue. That’s why I thought I should stop BDing by a certain day. When I got pregnant with DS, we BDed on my first peak day. So that’s why I thought the closer you are to O day, the more likely to have blue.

[BabyRendu]

You are eating quite a bit of calorically dense foods. Some things that could be changed (and you don't need to change ALL of them, and it's fine to keep doing them sometimes and just not every day):

You could cut everything you eat in 1/2 and have smaller servings

You could drop one or even two of the snacks (keep the bedtime snack!)

Switch things like bananas, raisins, bread or drop them completely, as they are very carby and not that nutritious anyway

Here is what a sample day would look like.

In the morning, have EITHER some oats with peanut butter or milk (PB and milk are adding protein) OR fruit and peanut butter (you could put your banana here if you want, or an apple or pear) OR a half a ham and cheese sandwich (and you can leave the cheese off, and save some calories

Stick with just the nuts for a snack. The dates and cookies are much more sugary and less nutritious. Nuts have protein and carbs in them so you only need them, no need for anything else.

Lunch sounds fine as does dinner, but you may want to have slightly smaller portions, cut back by 1/3 or 1/2 if you're really eating large meals.

I don't see any point in having a snack that is just fruit. It's not protein and carbs and it is only adding calories. Unless you're hungry here, this is a good snack to give up. Raisins, grapes, and bananas are really quite sugary and unlike some other fruits don't add much in the way of nutrition anyway.

Keep that bedtime snack.

If the weight keeps coming on, drop the chocolate.

I was trying to get in the 7-9servings of fruits and veg that why I put in the fruits during snacks.. Shall change it slightly as per your suggestion. Thank you so much. In the event I still dun get preggy this month, I will be purchasing the guide for a personalised advise.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ohhhh I always thought the closer you are to O day, the more likely you are to have blue. That’s why I thought I should stop BDing by a certain day. When I got pregnant with DS, we BDed on my first peak day. So that’s why I thought the closer you are to O day, the more likely to have blue.

Yes I understand now. That's what a lot of people say, but Dr. Shettles has been completely debunked, we even know what his mistake was and I have a full explanation about that in the timing link I posted above. 50-50 boys and girls are conceived every day of the cycle according to the studies who accurately calculated day of ovulation using blood tests or ultrasound instead of just telling women to have sex on a certain day or relying on unverified guesses about when O occurred.

[atomic sagebrush]

I was trying to get in the 7-9servings of fruits and veg that why I put in the fruits during snacks.. Shall change it slightly as per your suggestion. Thank you so much. In the event I still dun get preggy this month, I will be purchasing the guide for a personalised advise.

Yes I figured as much but once the weight starts to come on, we have to make adjustments to that. :)

[BabyRendu]

So sad today I got my AF. This is the first time I didnt manage to be pregnant. With both my gals I got preggy with one attempt.. Looks like I gotto try again. Maybe cos im 34 this year and not able to conceive anymore. :worry:Atomic. I got my LH surge today.. I tested at 1pm and 11pm and it shows as peaked.. after my AF we have been DTD every 2days. We DTD on Fri and today morning.. now tat I got my positive when should I DTD? Tonight is out as hubby is sleeping.. aiming for tomorrow morning and at night.. correct?https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180429/471f083e42f11e1ab500080666a435a0.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180429/dc84a2ed32741433015e54906a2ed2d1.jpg

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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes tomorrow morning and again tomorrow night if you possibly can!

[BabyRendu]

Yes tomorrow morning and again tomorrow night if you possibly can!I got my BFP [emoji12].. hope my sway works. Thks for all the help AS. I will soon put up my sway.. so nervous too...

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[atomic sagebrush]

huge congrats Rendu!! :bluecheer:

[Kjoseph09]

Congrats!!

[krkr]

1) You're right on that but people are trying to DTD every 2-4 days and then BD once on O for maximizing sperm count, so I am assuming that people are attempting to time those BD attempts to coincide with when they expect to O, if that makes any sense. Because if you don't DTD every 2-4 days, that's abstinence and will sway pink. People don't have to use every attempt for insemination, I was more thinking DTD with a condom and then only using the last BD for insemination.

2)That was just a typo because I kept getting interrupted. I meant to say that if you thought you would O on CD 14 but didn't until CD 15!! Exact opposite of what I wrote.


What if you abstain for a month, then DTD the day you got +OPK and then DTD again a day before O? Would it sway pink or blue? From what I understand it would sway pink because of abstinence but then again since there is fresh sperm because you DTD again before O it would sway blue? So confusing :(

[krkr]

What if you abstain for a month, then DTD the day you got +OPK and then DTD again a day before O? Would it sway pink or blue? From what I understand it would sway pink because of abstinence but then again since there is fresh sperm because you DTD again before O it would sway blue? So confusing

[krkr]

If it were me, I would DTD the night of the pos OPK and then again the next day, but I don't put much stock into timing and I also think that the overall sperm numbers that are in DW's repro tract matter more than the sperm count itself (so even if some guys might have a small decrease in number of swimmers from 2 shots back to back, by virtue of having more sperm on hand to make it to the egg will counteract that and sway blue even more so.)

For strict timing, DTD the day after pos OPK.

What if you abstain for a month, then DTD the day you got +OPK and then DTD again a day before O? Would it sway pink or blue? From what I understand it would sway pink because of abstinence but then again since there is fresh sperm because you DTD again before O it would sway blue? So confusing

[atomic sagebrush]

I answered this in the other thread you asked it, I'll copy and paste my answer below:

Hi and welcome! Glad you found us!!

Please don't abstain for a month. It will not work either from a practical angle (even if your husband sticks to it, which most won't, he will end up having a wet dream in the middle of it all anyway) or from a swaying angle (because abstain has really gotten extremely disappointing results, being significantly lower than the overall results of the site, and also really cutting odds of conception - and a month long abstain would be even worse for conception!!)

And after all that, it would possibly still sway blue because it is more than one attempt. For reasons we don't understand, 2 attempts was more blue-friendly than 1 attempt. Timing doesn't work, abstain doesn't work, but one attempt DOES work and so it's best to try to boost odds of conception with one attempt by dropping things that don't work (like abstain).

Also just to clarify, for many people, DTD the day of positive OPK IS going to be 1 day before O anyway.

[Throwaway_panther]

Atomic, I just saw a successful girl sway where they had 10 attempts through ovulation. Granted she was doing other sway things, but are you finding there's a threshold where too much BD in fertile window is going pink? We technically had 6 attempts for this pregnancy. Aways laid flat or propped hips after, O'd before and after DH, etc.:
O-4 : am
0-3: am
0-1: 2x am
0: 1 am, 1 pm

(these were possibly O-3, O-2, O and O+1 as my conception date HAS to be April 12 based on early scans and that was when FF estimated ovulation as well based on pos OPK going negative)

Now I'm worried we went pink with that?? We were doing other blue sway things of course, but now I really feel it has to be pink :( (DD I'm pretty sure was conceived after a 2/3 day cut off from 2 different PM attempts). We know DH actually has better quality sperm when he releases more frequently/close together (after 3 semen analyses), but now I'm scared we just screwed ourselves (literally lol)

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes there's a reason why I don't want blue swayers to BD through O either. No one BD through O. Not for pink, not for blue, and I have a thread about why here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/58359-what-up-bd-thru-o-pink-lately.html

What happens is this: people who start BD daily before the fertile window opens (and i"m talking LONG before, on O-4) end up with their husbands basically shooting dust before the fertile window even opens. So there are very few sperm in the ejaculate and fewer sperm = more pink and thus it is not safe for blue swayers to BD daily from AF-O. It's also a bad idea because so many of the blue swayer's hubbies have trouble performing and I see it happen time and again where people try this and end up having one attempt on O-3 and nothing else and then end up with a girl.

It's ALSO not safe for pink swayers, though, because what can and 99% of the time DOES happen is that a)their husbands can just shake off all the BD and not get depleted OR b) something happens and they start skipping days and end up with EOD OR c) they don't get pregnant and then drop other sway tactics to boost odds of conception (usually dropping the unpleasant things like diet and exercise before changing up their number of attempts). We also don't know when they stopped BD in relation to ovulation so if they ended up stopping earlier than they think, they could end up wit one O-3 attempt (earlier attempts would not be viable) and then this ends up actually being one attempt and NOT the frequent BD thru O like they think that they did.

What you did is neither of those things. You BD in what I would declare to be a perfect pattern for blue. no matter what you were in with 3 or 4 solid well timed attempts if not even more than that and I think you did an ideal attempt in regards to frequency and number of attempts.

[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you atomic! I'm not feeling too confident, but it's reassuring to hear that we at least did good blue attempts.

[BabyRendu]

huge congrats Rendu!! :bluecheer:

I got my boy atomic. Thks so much. I didnt knw it will work but it just did. Im lost for words. I love you so much atomic. :running:

[atomic sagebrush]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA OMGosh I am soooo happy for you! Hugest congrats!!!

[Joyjoy88]

I am trying to sway blue and I usually ovulate on CD 13. Do I BD alternate days starting from CD 9 so it will 9, 11 and 13? Or should I just BD everyday when I get positive opk ? Normally I will get a positive on CD 12 and sometimes may ovulate on the same day. Please advise

Background
I have a 4 year old daughter and had a miscarriage last year. Been trying again ever since but no bfp so far. Tried to bd as close as possible to ovulation day but no luck

Currently taking :-
Vit C
Fish oil
Ubiquinol 100mg
Prenatal (just started)
Vit D
Vit B
Shatavari
Calcium (night)
EPO

Husband is taking Ubiquinol, fish oil, vit c and zinc

I run every alternate day and do some yoga at night just to keep my sanity. And hb occasionally works out as well. We don't really drink alcohol or take coffee.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey joy! Welcome!

IF u think hubby can manage it, yes by all means please do BD unprotected CD9, 11, 13, and if at all possible hit it with 2-3 more attempts whenever pos OPK falls. IF there is any doubt in your mind he can't keep up with this, then skip the CD9 attempt. So I'd have u go CD 9, 11, morning of 12, evening of 12, 13, 15, 17, etc if he can do this. If he can't do this, I'd have him clean the pipes CD 8 and then go CD 11, morning of 12, evening of 12, 13, 15, 17 (or whatever he can keep up with.) I am hoping you will ovulate as normal this month; if not, please treat "CD 11" as whenever that pos OPK falls and do day of pos OPK, again the next morning and following night, one more time the following night, then every other day for a couple times if at all possible.

BD on O Day causes tons of BFN for blue swayers. I'ts just way lower chances of conception especially if doing one attempt. (no one should ever do ust one attempt for blue, regardless of what they tell you on other sites - we got 70-75% GIRLS with one attempt)

How much Vit C
HOw much fish oil
Ubiquinol :agree: carry on
Prenatal :agree: carry on but if you want me to check to be sure it's a good one for blue please let me know what kind it is, as not all prenatals are created equal
HOw much Vit D?
There is likely more than enough Vit. B in your prenatal. Taking too much B vitamins can delay or stop ovulation so we have to be sure you're not taking more than needed
I would wean off Shatavari. I have observed that many of the herbs will prevent conception and I have not seen enough people taking this and getting boys to sign off on it for anyone.
Calcium :agree: I got 2 of my boys taking calcium supps

EPO we need you to drop that right away. We found overwhelmingly more girl opposites among those taking EPO and have eliminated it from our suggestions as of this past year and our results have improved at the same time. I would not have you continue with that any longer.

How much fish oil, Vit. C and zinc for hubby?

Everything else looking good, how much and what kind of working out is hubby doing?

[Joyjoy88]

Hey joy! Welcome!

IF u think hubby can manage it, yes by all means please do BD unprotected CD9, 11, 13, and if at all possible hit it with 2-3 more attempts whenever pos OPK falls. IF there is any doubt in your mind he can't keep up with this, then skip the CD9 attempt. So I'd have u go CD 9, 11, morning of 12, evening of 12, 13, 15, 17, etc if he can do this. If he can't do this, I'd have him clean the pipes CD 8 and then go CD 11, morning of 12, evening of 12, 13, 15, 17 (or whatever he can keep up with.) I am hoping you will ovulate as normal this month; if not, please treat "CD 11" as whenever that pos OPK falls and do day of pos OPK, again the next morning and following night, one more time the following night, then every other day for a couple times if at all possible.

BD on O Day causes tons of BFN for blue swayers. I'ts just way lower chances of conception especially if doing one attempt. (no one should ever do ust one attempt for blue, regardless of what they tell you on other sites - we got 70-75% GIRLS with one attempt)

How much Vit C
HOw much fish oil
Ubiquinol :agree: carry on
Prenatal :agree: carry on but if you want me to check to be sure it's a good one for blue please let me know what kind it is, as not all prenatals are created equal
HOw much Vit D?
There is likely more than enough Vit. B in your prenatal. Taking too much B vitamins can delay or stop ovulation so we have to be sure you're not taking more than needed
I would wean off Shatavari. I have observed that many of the herbs will prevent conception and I have not seen enough people taking this and getting boys to sign off on it for anyone.
Calcium :agree: I got 2 of my boys taking calcium supps

EPO we need you to drop that right away. We found overwhelmingly more girl opposites among those taking EPO and have eliminated it from our suggestions as of this past year and our results have improved at the same time. I would not have you continue with that any longer.

How much fish oil, Vit. C and zinc for hubby?

Everything else looking good, how much and what kind of working out is hubby doing?

I am taking the vitamin code raw prenatal(recomended by it starts with an egg book) once a day as I am not sure if taking too much will change the cycle so I am taking it at a lower dosage first.

As for fish oil, it is EPA 600 mg DHA 300 mg. Vit D is 1000iu a day. Vit c is the blackmores slow release 500mg and zinc chelate is 30 mg

I run 2km every other day. If I am lazy then I will just take a 30 mins walk. (I think I am on the light side) but some form of exercise keeps me sane from this whole TTC business :)
Hb goes to the gym maybe twice a week depending on workload.

BTW thank you so much for responding ! I really appreciate the detailed info that you have provided. I will also stop shatavari as per your advise.

And what do you think of manuka honey with Chia seeds. I take it daily just for general well being. And is it ok to BD so often from CD 11,12 and 13. Haha that's a lot and I hope my hubby is ready and up for it ! Hopefully I ovulate the same a previous cycles. I would be taking my BBT and clearblue advanced opks just to make sure.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ah, yes unfortunately I don't always agree with the "It starts with an egg" recommendations.

Vitamin Code Raw has vitex in it which will sway pink and I cannot recommend any blue swayer taking that

Since you're hopefully going off the EPO let's reduce the fish oil to every other day instead of daily.

Manuka honey + chia seeds is fine provided you drop that EPO! If you continue EPO, discontinue chia seeds. (the honey is great always tho)

That's a fine amount of exercise, be sure you eat before and after (just lightly)

We have found (and science has proven) that timing does not sway. It simply doesn't work. Most of us on here have several timing opposites (I got my boys with "girl timing" and my girl with "boy timing") So that's my best recommendation based on what we have observed to work best. It's totally up to you if you don't want to do that and prefer to stick with timing, it's not a dealbreaker, but I do really urge you to aim at having at least 3 attempts in the fertile window O-1 thru O day instead of relying on just one attempt on O Day for best shot at a boy. :)

[Joyjoy88]

Ah, yes unfortunately I don't always agree with the "It starts with an egg" recommendations.

Vitamin Code Raw has vitex in it which will sway pink and I cannot recommend any blue swayer taking that

Since you're hopefully going off the EPO let's reduce the fish oil to every other day instead of daily.

Manuka honey + chia seeds is fine provided you drop that EPO! If you continue EPO, discontinue chia seeds. (the honey is great always tho)

That's a fine amount of exercise, be sure you eat before and after (just lightly)

We have found (and science has proven) that timing does not sway. It simply doesn't work. Most of us on here have several timing opposites (I got my boys with "girl timing" and my girl with "boy timing") So that's my best recommendation based on what we have observed to work best. It's totally up to you if you don't want to do that and prefer to stick with timing, it's not a dealbreaker, but I do really urge you to aim at having at least 3 attempts in the fertile window O-1 thru O day instead of relying on just one attempt on O Day for best shot at a boy. :)

Yikes I heard vitex can change the cycle. I will stop that and EPO.
And shuold I just skip the whole multivit/prenatal and separately take the vit c,d,b, fish oil, ubiquinol and folic acid as I previously did or should I get another multivits like this
https://www.abbottlifeplus.com/p/similac-pramilet-multivitamin-8
I only found this in the local pharmacy and can't find women's one a day multi vit in my area.

Ya will be more hardworking in BD. Haha. Ya previously I was trying to follow shettle method by BD on O-1 and O day but no luck so far. :(

What other super food should I eat to sway for a blue? I have added probiotics and snacking on nuts + yogurt.. haha not sure if that is enough. I will be ovulating soon (early next week) haha cant wait

[atomic sagebrush]

No, you shouldn't take all the supplements separately because when they're sold separately, they almost always come in much higher doses than combined and we want you aiming at no more than 100% DRV of most nutrients except Vit. D which you can take more like 1000 IU or so.

The Similac vitamins are fine, although I'd add in more Vit. D

I don't believe in "super foods." I believe in an overall nutrient dense diet and so aim at getting a lot of good, real foods like lean meat, healthy fats, full fat dairy and eggs, fruits and vegetables, nuts, even dark chocolate now and then. And by "a lot" I just mean "more than you were having". You don't have to be stuffed and miserable on a boy-friendly diet, just eating more and better quality than you were recently (most important) and when you got your girls (if possible, but less important than what you were doing recently.)

[Joyjoy88]

No, you shouldn't take all the supplements separately because when they're sold separately, they almost always come in much higher doses than combined and we want you aiming at no more than 100% DRV of most nutrients except Vit. D which you can take more like 1000 IU or so.

The Similac vitamins are fine, although I'd add in more Vit. D

I don't believe in "super foods." I believe in an overall nutrient dense diet and so aim at getting a lot of good, real foods like lean meat, healthy fats, full fat dairy and eggs, fruits and vegetables, nuts, even dark chocolate now and then. And by "a lot" I just mean "more than you were having". You don't have to be stuffed and miserable on a boy-friendly diet, just eating more and better quality than you were recently (most important) and when you got your girls (if possible, but less important than what you were doing recently.)

ok got it! I am currently testing using CB advanced ovulation test. Currently at CD 8 and it's still Low. If I get another Low should i still BD tomorrow at CD 9?
My hb has cleared his pipes CD 6.

Also if i dont get a positive opk on CD 12 should I skip BD on that day ?

And does my hb need to follow a particular diet too?

[atomic sagebrush]

How much do you trust the CB? Has it worked well for you in the past?

I'd be tempted to have hubby clear the pipes and then wait and see what happens CD 10.

If hubby is willing to eat more healthfully (cut back on soy, processed foods, alcohol, caffeine) that's great. Above all else, he needs to quit smoking if he does or cut back as much as possible. that one thing is HUGE.

Let's play it by ear on the CD 12 attempt. I want to see what your pattern is shaping up to be before we make a decision.

[Joyjoy88]

How much do you trust the CB? Has it worked well for you in the past?

I'd be tempted to have hubby clear the pipes and then wait and see what happens CD 10.

If hubby is willing to eat more healthfully (cut back on soy, processed foods, alcohol, caffeine) that's great. Above all else, he needs to quit smoking if he does or cut back as much as possible. that one thing is HUGE.

Let's play it by ear on the CD 12 attempt. I want to see what your pattern is shaping up to be before we make a decision.

So far the CB has been accurate and is aligned to my BBT charting. I had a cycle that jumps from low to peak straightaway without a high in between.

Anyway will BD CD 9 and alternate day and then more once we have positive opk. Wish us luck !! Haha

[atomic sagebrush]

Good luck and blue dust headed your way!

[Joyjoy88]

Good luck and blue dust headed your way!

We BD on CD 9, 11.

I had CB advanced OPK High on CD 11 and 12. I have tested with normal OPK and it's still negative. Should I skip today and BD tomorrow instead at CD 13? Or is it ok to BD on CD 12, 13, and 14? would it be too much ? LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

Let's skip today just to be on the safest side that hubby won't get depleted and then pick it up again at CD 13, 14, 15

[Joyjoy88]

Let's skip today just to be on the safest side that hubby won't get depleted and then pick it up again at CD 13, 14, 15

I have a Peak on CB Advanced OPK today and we BD'd in the morning. LOL So far we have BD on CD 9, 11, 13 and luckily DH is still ok with it. phew.

Will probably BD again tonight and tomorrow just to be sure ! and thanks for always responding to my messages ! you are the best!

[Mom25boys]

Dh just turned 36, for reference. We dtd sat. PM and Sunday PM. Will probably get + opk Saturday or Sunday. But because I'm so irregular, it can surprise me early. I want to leave Sunday PM as the last bd because somewhere within the next 7 days I probably will get +. But it can be latest 10 days I guess too. How bad is 7 days abstinence before my one attempt? I also wouldn't J&D because he is on antidepressants too and if it causes a huge decrease I didn't want to lose chances of pg. WwYD? (Ttc girl)

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[shiroshiro]

I want to post about my frequency experience with BD during our last successful conception (which sadly ended in a second-trimester loss).

I was trying to sway boy, and did SMEP, and I was carrying a little girl..

I did SMEP in the sense that we BD as soon as my digital OPK was flashing smiley (high fertility but not peak fertility), and then kept going until it was solid (next day AM and PM), and then one more BD 24h after the solid smiley.

Would you change the frequency of BD for next time? Wait until solid smiley? Don't do twice a day?

Also, read somewhere in this forum that first 2 cycles after D&E might sway pink... if that's the case and there's data behind it, I guess we'll just have to wait a bit.. (but I am so desperate to heal from our loss..)

[atomic sagebrush]

How many days did you BD when it was on high??

[atomic sagebrush]

Re when to try after D and E, this is first and foremost a safety issue. D and E plus a 14 week loss is very taxing on the body and while I know that you're not going to feel right again till you're looking at another BFP, I don't want you to set yourself up for another loss. While many times doctors are many times overly conservative about when to try again (like telling people to wait three cycles after a chemical, for example) D and E plus a second trimester loss is probably best to wait at least one cycle and preferably two.

Then couple that with the potential harm to your sway - because you will be depleted and your fertility will be suppressed for a couple cycles - I do not think it's a good idea to proceed too quickly.

This is not the kind of thing I can get data on. There are too many variables that come into play; first and foremost the idea that people who are able to get and stay pregnant that soon after a later loss may be more "set" for boys to begin with and that can skew the data to make it look more 50-50 when it's really pink-friendly. This is not a data thing, this is a common sense precaution because I want you to have a good shot at your boy. If, as I believe, this is boiling down to maternal condition and overall fertility is what is at the heart of swaying, it just doesn't make sense to try too soon for you. We need to let your body recover for 2 cycles and then see where we are at.

If those cycles are super long we may be able to proceed sooner but I'd give it 8 weeks here.

[shiroshiro]

How many days did you BD when it was on high??

As soon as it hit flashing smiley, BD for 4 days once a day. I know I ovulated in the second day because of the temp rise on day 3.

Was this the right frequency?

[Mom25boys]

Dh just turned 36, for reference. We dtd sat. PM and Sunday PM. Will probably get + opk Saturday or Sunday. But because I'm so irregular, it can surprise me early. I want to leave Sunday PM as the last bd because somewhere within the next 7 days I probably will get +. But it can be latest 10 days I guess too. How bad is 7 days abstinence before my one attempt? I also wouldn't J&D because he is on antidepressants too and if it causes a huge decrease I didn't want to lose chances of pg. WwYD? (Ttc girl)

Sent from my SM-G965U using TapatalkAtomic, what would you advise? I have been so crampy and within the week before ovulation that is typical for me. But I can ovulate anywhere this week until cycle day 23 for sure. Now I'm on cycle 17. Last BD was 14. Was for sure going to keep it 4 or more days apart. But I'm scared that BD Thursday, may be so close to O... is 7-10 abstain really bad? I don't want more than one attempt. I have just a faint line on opk. It's usually blank unless it's getting closer.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

As soon as it hit flashing smiley, BD for 4 days once a day. I know I ovulated in the second day because of the temp rise on day 3.

Was this the right frequency?

I think you had a good solid attempt in that case and it just didn't come down to frequency this time. I would have you do exactly that again.

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic, what would you advise? I have been so crampy and within the week before ovulation that is typical for me. But I can ovulate anywhere this week until cycle day 23 for sure. Now I'm on cycle 17. Last BD was 14. Was for sure going to keep it 4 or more days apart. But I'm scared that BD Thursday, may be so close to O... is 7-10 abstain really bad? I don't want more than one attempt. I have just a faint line on opk. It's usually blank unless it's getting closer.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Timing doesn't sway and there is no way you're going to be able to go all that time when you may O in there. I would have attempt now OR barring that, have DH clear the pipes once.

[Mom25boys]

Timing doesn't sway and there is no way you're going to be able to go all that time when you may O in there. I would have attempt now OR barring that, have DH clear the pipes once.Thank you! I am not doing timing. Im doing just one attempt. But until then I wasn't sure what to do. I will make sure to not abstain. Would an attempt protected in the middle suffice? I will make sure tonight or tomorrow.

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[Being MommaBear]

Hi Atomic,

It took some navigation for me to find this thread again - and thank you for the link on a previous post to the abbreviation explanations! That made reading this thread much easier.

For a pink sway, I had a question on your comment of "The important thing is, that he HAS to release every day at least once and pref. more, for at least 7-10 days prior to when you BEGIN your BD attempts." I'm going to try to be specific and still tactful in my question, so forgive me if TMI. My cycle is very regular, and my periods are usually pretty heavy. My cycles are typically 26 days, with AF lasting about a week (not full heavy throughout, but definitely some spotting the last 2 days or so). I've never used an OPK, but just from CM change and cramps, I can figure my O day is about 1 week after my last day of AF. DH, understandably, does not like to DTD while I'm on my period. What would be the best frequency method to try for a pink sway?

(For our boy, we weren't trying any sort of sway, we just wanted to get pregnant and were guessing at my fertility window. DS was pretty much a OHW - we BD right at the beginning of the week of fertility, then again either on or 1 day before O).

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! I am not doing timing. Im doing just one attempt. But until then I wasn't sure what to do. I will make sure to not abstain. Would an attempt protected in the middle suffice? I will make sure tonight or tomorrow.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

Oh ok sorry when I read "may be close to O" I got confused. Yes to clear the pipes a protected attempt will suffice! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Atomic,

It took some navigation for me to find this thread again - and thank you for the link on a previous post to the abbreviation explanations! That made reading this thread much easier.

For a pink sway, I had a question on your comment of "The important thing is, that he HAS to release every day at least once and pref. more, for at least 7-10 days prior to when you BEGIN your BD attempts." I'm going to try to be specific and still tactful in my question, so forgive me if TMI. My cycle is very regular, and my periods are usually pretty heavy. My cycles are typically 26 days, with AF lasting about a week (not full heavy throughout, but definitely some spotting the last 2 days or so). I've never used an OPK, but just from CM change and cramps, I can figure my O day is about 1 week after my last day of AF. DH, understandably, does not like to DTD while I'm on my period. What would be the best frequency method to try for a pink sway?

(For our boy, we weren't trying any sort of sway, we just wanted to get pregnant and were guessing at my fertility window. DS was pretty much a OHW - we BD right at the beginning of the week of fertility, then again either on or 1 day before O).

This is a TMI-free zone. :)

He could release on his own or you could do other things besides intercourse (if u see what I'm saying here) It doesn't need to be intercourse for this to count.

That having been said, the good news is, daily release has not been very helpful at all anyway. It hasn't worked and doesn't appear to be adding anything to the overall success of the site (indeed, it's actually lower success rates than the overall site as a whole - this doesn't mean it sways blue, just that it's not likely adding anything) And it also really cuts odds of conception. So this may be something to try for the first month, possibly two and then drop anyway. :)

[Joyjoy88]

Hey joy! Welcome!

IF u think hubby can manage it, yes by all means please do BD unprotected CD9, 11, 13, and if at all possible hit it with 2-3 more attempts whenever pos OPK falls. IF there is any doubt in your mind he can't keep up with this, then skip the CD9 attempt. So I'd have u go CD 9, 11, morning of 12, evening of 12, 13, 15, 17, etc if he can do this. If he can't do this, I'd have him clean the pipes CD 8 and then go CD 11, morning of 12, evening of 12, 13, 15, 17 (or whatever he can keep up with.) I am hoping you will ovulate as normal this month; if not, please treat "CD 11" as whenever that pos OPK falls and do day of pos OPK, again the next morning and following night, one more time the following night, then every other day for a couple times if at all possible.

BD on O Day causes tons of BFN for blue swayers. I'ts just way lower chances of conception especially if doing one attempt. (no one should ever do ust one attempt for blue, regardless of what they tell you on other sites - we got 70-75% GIRLS with one attempt)

How much Vit C
HOw much fish oil
Ubiquinol :agree: carry on
Prenatal :agree: carry on but if you want me to check to be sure it's a good one for blue please let me know what kind it is, as not all prenatals are created equal
HOw much Vit D?
There is likely more than enough Vit. B in your prenatal. Taking too much B vitamins can delay or stop ovulation so we have to be sure you're not taking more than needed
I would wean off Shatavari. I have observed that many of the herbs will prevent conception and I have not seen enough people taking this and getting boys to sign off on it for anyone.
Calcium :agree: I got 2 of my boys taking calcium supps

EPO we need you to drop that right away. We found overwhelmingly more girl opposites among those taking EPO and have eliminated it from our suggestions as of this past year and our results have improved at the same time. I would not have you continue with that any longer.

How much fish oil, Vit. C and zinc for hubby?

Everything else looking good, how much and what kind of working out is hubby doing?

:(

I think this cycle is a bust.. not sure why but my cycle is longer than usual.

I am thinking of stopping the Ubiquinol. I have been taking since May and not sure if it's even working :( not to mentioned it's quite pricey.

[Being MommaBear]

Hi Atomic!

Thank you for the reply. I read this a while ago, but now have a follow-up question. I found another essay thread post of yours last night with updated BD sway tactics (at least I think it was the most updated one). For trying to sway girl, you emphasized the one attempt. One of the options you gave for this was an abstain and then the one attempt at around O-2, O-1. Since we have a 2-year old toddler, an abstain method would be easiest for us - if we had a night of a tricky bedtime or were just unable to BD, I'm afraid missing a night would ruin a FR attempt. But I've read other comments of yours that abstain lowers sperm quality, so this piqued my anxiety radar. My husband and I are both 32, and more than anything just want to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I would love to get more feedback on this. We're hoping to TTC around Dec, so we have time to figure out a sway tactic. Also, I've been trying to find out what the plan options are and costs, but haven't had much luck. Is there a breakdown of that somewhere? Thanks!

[atomic sagebrush]

:(

I think this cycle is a bust.. not sure why but my cycle is longer than usual.

I am thinking of stopping the Ubiquinol. I have been taking since May and not sure if it's even working :( not to mentioned it's quite pricey.

Well, EPO, B vitamins, and many of the herbs may delay or stop ovulation.

I would keep testing for ovualtion and prepare to make attempts if you have a positive OPK. Even in long cycles you will still ovulate.

If you want to stop ubiquinol that is fine, just wean off it though. That is something I'm not terribly sold on anyway.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Atomic!

Thank you for the reply. I read this a while ago, but now have a follow-up question. I found another essay thread post of yours last night with updated BD sway tactics (at least I think it was the most updated one). For trying to sway girl, you emphasized the one attempt. One of the options you gave for this was an abstain and then the one attempt at around O-2, O-1. Since we have a 2-year old toddler, an abstain method would be easiest for us - if we had a night of a tricky bedtime or were just unable to BD, I'm afraid missing a night would ruin a FR attempt. But I've read other comments of yours that abstain lowers sperm quality, so this piqued my anxiety radar. My husband and I are both 32, and more than anything just want to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I would love to get more feedback on this. We're hoping to TTC around Dec, so we have time to figure out a sway tactic. Also, I've been trying to find out what the plan options are and costs, but haven't had much luck. Is there a breakdown of that somewhere? Thanks!

Missing a night WiLL mess up the FR attempt. Just do abstain.

The risks of abstain are small and when you're younger, which you guys are, the risks are miniscule, possibly not even there. I have to pick an age to be my cutoff and I picked 35 because that's the age at which risks start to rise (but even for men oer 35 they are still very small). The reason I don't let men over 35 do abstain is because it doesn't work anyway, and it makes no sense to take even a teeny risk for something that doesn't work and cuts odds of conception. it is NOT because I think abstaining is super dangerous for everyone or that it always or even 99% of the time is harmful, it's just that it doesn't make sense to do it after a certain point since it doesn't help and cuts odds of conception anyway.

The plans are here! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/payments.php

[Lilyblossom]

I mean to say having husband release every 2-4 days.


By release every 2-4 day inside or outside?

We actively BD after AF but hubsy will finished himself and we used to abstained 3-4 days when ovulated near comes and shoot when ovulating. Is it alright all above?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[atomic sagebrush]

Whichever you prefer. We have reasons to believe that regular, unprotected sex will raise hubby's sperm count and exposure to the hormones in his semen will both make you more fertile and also sway blue for you. Many of us on this site who have all boys had unprotected sex regularly when not TTC and then we just kept going through ovulation in months we were trying to conceive.

But many peopel can't bear to do that because it's different from Shettles recommendations. If you can't stand to do the unprotected sex, you can have him release on his own or do so with you, iwth a non-spermicide condom for blue.

it is all right to do as you've done in the past but I want you to try to have more than one attempt for blue. This has been one of our best sway tactics - aim for 3-5 attempts at or around ovulation and that is how many of us all boy mamas got our boys!

[Joyjoy88]

Well, EPO, B vitamins, and many of the herbs may delay or stop ovulation.

I would keep testing for ovualtion and prepare to make attempts if you have a positive OPK. Even in long cycles you will still ovulate.

If you want to stop ubiquinol that is fine, just wean off it though. That is something I'm not terribly sold on anyway.

Ya. AF arrived yesterday. So I had a 28 day cycle and judging from BBT chart looks like I ovulated on CD 14 and had a positive OPK on CD13.

If the pattern remains the same for the new cycle, what is the recommeded BD days?

[atomic sagebrush]

Ya. AF arrived yesterday. So I had a 28 day cycle and judging from BBT chart looks like I ovulated on CD 14 and had a positive OPK on CD13.

If the pattern remains the same for the new cycle, what is the recommeded BD days?

(this is for blue for those who are mixed up, since we have both pink and blue swayers posting in this thread)

If you believe in timing, with that pattern, you would have attempt on CD 13 (or even two if u can fit one in in the afternoon), morning of CD 14, night of CD 14. To guard against delayed ovulation, I'd have u attempt CD 15 (night) and then every other day unless you're 110% sure you've ovulated already.

If you DON"T believe in timing I'd have attempt CD 10, 12, 13 (morning or afternoon and night if poss), morning of CD 14, night of CD 14, then CD 15 and every other day after to guard against delayed O.

[Joyjoy88]

(this is for blue for those who are mixed up, since we have both pink and blue swayers posting in this thread)

If you believe in timing, with that pattern, you would have attempt on CD 13 (or even two if u can fit one in in the afternoon), morning of CD 14, night of CD 14. To guard against delayed ovulation, I'd have u attempt CD 15 (night) and then every other day unless you're 110% sure you've ovulated already.

If you DON"T believe in timing I'd have attempt CD 10, 12, 13 (morning or afternoon and night if poss), morning of CD 14, night of CD 14, then CD 15 and every other day after to guard against delayed O.

I am not sure what to believe anymore after months of trying without any luck ��

Sorry for the sad post.

[atomic sagebrush]

That Shettles boy timing has really cut odds of conception for people so I would start trying sooner than you think you "should" and keep going even after you think you've ovulated in the every other day pattern.

[Joyjoy88]

That Shettles boy timing has really cut odds of conception for people so I would start trying sooner than you think you "should" and keep going even after you think you've ovulated in the every other day pattern.

my cycle went slightly haywire.. caught off guard when I got low in cb digital advanced on CD 9 and straight to peak on CD 10. So we BD CD 10, 11 and 12. Based on my BBT chart, looks like I O'ed on CD 11.

I have to trust my CM better. I actually got some ewcm on CD 8 but hubby was tired and didn't wanna BD. Hope we BD enough fingers crossed

[atomic sagebrush]

Fingers and toes crossed too! :bluecheer: :bluecheer: :bluecheer:

[Joyjoy88]

Fingers and toes crossed too! :bluecheer: :bluecheer: :bluecheer:

I know I am paranoid. But in case this cycle doesn't work. What should I do to up my chances? hehe

[atomic sagebrush]

Everything in the blue sway plan is designed to boost chances of conception. I think that the problem has been the Shettles timing and once that is gone I fully expect you to get pregnant quickly.

The ONLY concern I have is that sometimes when people have been on blue sway diets a long time they can end up giving themselves a kind of mild PCOS but as long as your cycle is fairly regular (ovulating early is fine, I'm talking about really long cycles developing suddenly or super short LP) I don't think that's what we are dealing with here.

[AlliBalli11]

Hi Atomic, I’m ttc Pink, have 3ds I’ve ov earlier than I was expecting but I haven’t exercised for at least 2 weeks, I’m thinking to skip this month and get back to my exercising, you’ve given me great advice previously about diet and the one attempt might be a good option for us. I got the solid smiley face this morning on my opk while yesterday was a blank circle, my Lh surge missed the flashing smile stage?! Would this be right to skip having not managed exercising? If the opk does the same next month should we dtd at +opk in peak stage?

[Joyjoy88]

Everything in the blue sway plan is designed to boost chances of conception. I think that the problem has been the Shettles timing and once that is gone I fully expect you to get pregnant quickly.

The ONLY concern I have is that sometimes when people have been on blue sway diets a long time they can end up giving themselves a kind of mild PCOS but as long as your cycle is fairly regular (ovulating early is fine, I'm talking about really long cycles developing suddenly or super short LP) I don't think that's what we are dealing with here.

Thanks atomic. Emotionally unstable as we have been trying for so long. Not sure if we should see the doc again just to check what's going on.

I guess we have to try to BD earlier to get a baby.

My LP is always around 13 or 14 days. I think that's pretty standard?

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Atomic, I’m ttc Pink, have 3ds I’ve ov earlier than I was expecting but I haven’t exercised for at least 2 weeks, I’m thinking to skip this month and get back to my exercising, you’ve given me great advice previously about diet and the one attempt might be a good option for us. I got the solid smiley face this morning on my opk while yesterday was a blank circle, my Lh surge missed the flashing smile stage?! Would this be right to skip having not managed exercising? If the opk does the same next month should we dtd at +opk in peak stage?

Agh sorry only just now seeing this - if you had already been dieting for 12 weeks I would probably have had you go ahead and try even after 2 weeks off on diet. But it's totally up to you - if you'll regret it forever if you try and get an opposite, probably better to wait, but remember that for all we know this is a great month for a girl for you and next month may be worse! Follow your heart on this!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks atomic. Emotionally unstable as we have been trying for so long. Not sure if we should see the doc again just to check what's going on.

I guess we have to try to BD earlier to get a baby.

My LP is always around 13 or 14 days. I think that's pretty standard?

Yep 13-14 day LP is just right.

I suspect that once Shettles goes on his way we will be looking at a lovely positive test very soon. If you think it may help to see the doc, by all means, but I don't see anything that would indicate this is a necessity.

[Joyjoy88]

Yep 13-14 day LP is just right.

I suspect that once Shettles goes on his way we will be looking at a lovely positive test very soon. If you think it may help to see the doc, by all means, but I don't see anything that would indicate this is a necessity.

Thanks Atomic.... I am just so lost in what to do.. I personally think there should be nothing wrong given that I got pregnant twice before but after trying so long with no news, it just makes you wonder. :( I think I have to do BD way way more. Perhaps start from CD 7, 9, 11,12,13 depending on the positive OPK. What do you think? Or should i just BD 5 days straight? from CD 9 till 13?