abstain or requent BD with 2 day cut-off for ttc a girl.

[threelittlebears]

Hi, I have been doing so much research from this wonderful site and now I need some advice and am hoping someone has some suggestions?

My husband and I are both 40 and ttc a girl. We have 3 DS's all under 5 and they were all conceived with frequent BD (sometimes twice a day) from first positive OPK through to and including O within 1-2 cycles. I am now taking cranberry, calcium and magnesium, folate and naturally follow a girl diet anyway. I am not using any type of lubricant or douching.

This is now my 4th cycle since my period returned after finishing BF DS3 who is 15mnths.

I am due to ovulate in 4 days and use a saliva microscope, cervix position and note CM changes to determine ovulation. I always fall back into regular 28 day cycles, ovulating on CD14 as soon as AF returns and it's the same this time.

I have read so much on here about timing and I just can't decide what to do! I am tossing up between:

1) Frequent BD up to a 2 day cutoff

2)Abstain for 5-7 days then 2 day cutoff

3)Abstain for 7 days then DTD once on ovulation day.

I know from what I have read on this site that abstaining isn't recommended at our age, however I have also read to do the opposite of what you did to have your boys, and for us that was frequent BD up to and including ovulation.

I have considered 0+12, however whilst I can pinpoint ovulation day, I find it hard to work out the exact timing. I guess with more practice I could, so would this be worth a try?

Gee, it all feels overwhelming sometimes and I know stress and ttc a girl just don't mix...lol!

Would love any feedback. All you ladies seem so supportive of each other and I love this site for all the detailed info!

Thanks in advance, Justine.

[nuthinbutpink]

I have 3 DDs and we did frequent with a 2 day-ish cutoff!

[threelittlebears]

Sorry, I should add that I am currently on CD 10 and ovulate on CD 14. So far this cycle we have BD just once on CD 7. So i'm wondering for this cycle if I should continue abstinence until CD 12 which is a 2 day cutoff or start BD now up until a 2 day cutoff or continue to abstain until ovulation day and DTD once only.

Thanks again!

[amari]

Welcome! You could do fr and not frequent bd. So he would release himself for 5-7 days but then you would just dtd with a 2 day cut off or on ovulation day or o-2, o-1, and on o day. This would be different than what you did having your boys b/c you wouldn't be having all the sperm in your body but it would still be lowering sperm count=good for girls.

[threelittlebears]

Thanks nuthinbutpink! This is what I have been leaning towards after reading my posts. It all tends to make more sense when you read your plan rather than have it swirling around in your head...lol!

Would love to hear from others who have done frequent BD with a 2 day cutoff.

[threelittlebears]

Thanks amari.....that makes sense too! I have read about FR lowering sperm count rather than frequent BD which raises PH, so that is another option. Thanks again for taking the time to reply!

[girlmom]

all mine were conceived on o day. sometimes frequant release sometimes abstance. we tried it all. timing is your least importnant factor. good luck

[rainbowflower]

I disagree with "do the opposite of what you did when you got your boys" - most people will be inadvertantly doing some pink and some blue sway things if they knew nothing about swaying when they conceived before. Just because you had boys, doesn't mean what you were doing 100% swayed blue.

Personally I'd go for option 3 out of all of those because that frequency will sway pink and the timing of DTD on OV day will give you the best chance of pregnancy.

If you conceived fast before I wouldn't be worried about the risks of abstaining.

As girlmom says, timing is the least important factor for a sway

[auroara78]

I would have him FR if he's game (not BD'ing) and try a 2 day cut off or just have one attempt on O. Zana had one attempt on O day, jump and dumped, and is having a girl (I also believe her DH released twice, maybe even 3 times a day??) You'd have to read her sway for details....

[atomic sagebrush]

The "do the opposite" thing mostly comes from the other site. Just because you do the opposite of something, that doesn't make it GOOD. If you didn't lose weight on the Atkins diet, the answer is not doing the opposite and to start eating nothing but birthday cake - that's even WORSE!

If you don't want to do frequent, that's fine, I would suggest you just BD once at pos OPK and leave it at that. Abstain is your option, it does sway pink, and as long as you are aware of the risk and you are willing to accept that, you are adults and can do what you wish!!

Do NOT do O+12 if you are 40. At 40, our eggs may not even LIVE 12 hours and they certainly will not be as good a quality at that time as when they were first ovulated. I have never seen a 40 year old conceive with O+12. Here are my O+12 essays (inc. how to) that you will prob. want to read.http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-girl-best-practices/1291-o-12-part-1-history-o-12-a.html

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry, I should add that I am currently on CD 10 and ovulate on CD 14. So far this cycle we have BD just once on CD 7. So i'm wondering for this cycle if I should continue abstinence until CD 12 which is a 2 day cutoff or start BD now up until a 2 day cutoff or continue to abstain until ovulation day and DTD once only.

Thanks again!

If you're already abstaining and you will O in 4 days, it makes more sense to just keep abstaining if you are comfy with the risks it entails.

[zanacal]

Just wanted to add that your description of the 'frequent' you did for your boys isn't really frequent - you said you BD's from +OPK through O right? You need DH to release at least once a day for 7-10 days prior to your first attempt for it to be frequent!

[Navywife620]

Found some helpful information in this as I am planning my sway for next fall. I always thought that abstaining swayed more girl than boy. My husband will be 30 when we are TTC. Would you guys recommend abstaining or FR? Thank you! oh and I will be 24 when we TTC.

[threelittlebears]

wow....just came back to my post and found all these informative replies! This is why I prefer this site to all others....everyone is so supportive of each other and the advice actually makes sense.

Atomic- if I am going to BD just once at first positive OPK, should I continue to abstain until then? If we BD when I get my first positive OPK we would have abstained 5 days and if we BD on ovulation day it will be 7 days. What do you think would be a better attempt?

Zanancal-you make a good point about my previous attempts and what I thought was FR BD'ing. We definitely weren't BD'ing every day prior to the positive OPK's, probably just every second day.

Girlmom-you give me hope about the timing.

Ok, after all these great responses I am now better informed and less stressed.....which is good thing right!!

Thanks again ladies, and good luck to everyone in their own attempts!

Justine.

[rainbowflower]

Found some helpful information in this as I am planning my sway for next fall. I always thought that abstaining swayed more girl than boy. My husband will be 30 when we are TTC. Would you guys recommend abstaining or FR? Thank you! oh and I will be 24 when we TTC.
if you're happy to only have 1 attempt, yes abstaining is ideal given your DH's age too

[Navywife620]

Thanks Rainbowflower. I would be fine with just 1 attempt. I am really not in a big rush to get pregnant. Well I say that now! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

wow....just came back to my post and found all these informative replies! This is why I prefer this site to all others....everyone is so supportive of each other and the advice actually makes sense.

Atomic- if I am going to BD just once at first positive OPK, should I continue to abstain until then? If we BD when I get my first positive OPK we would have abstained 5 days and if we BD on ovulation day it will be 7 days. What do you think would be a better attempt?

Zanancal-you make a good point about my previous attempts and what I thought was FR BD'ing. We definitely weren't BD'ing every day prior to the positive OPK's, probably just every second day.

Girlmom-you give me hope about the timing.

Ok, after all these great responses I am now better informed and less stressed.....which is good thing right!!

Thanks again ladies, and good luck to everyone in their own attempts!

Justine.

Yes, continue to abstain until then. I think it would be better for your sway BY FAR to abstain till O day and have one attempt then because 7 days abstain is the barest minimum for pink. 5 days abstain is ALMOST boy frequency!

Timing doesn't sway, as many girls as boys are conceived with BD on O day. Any study that says different did not use good methods and should be disregarded. Abstain is what sways, not timing.

[atomic sagebrush]

Found some helpful information in this as I am planning my sway for next fall. I always thought that abstaining swayed more girl than boy. My husband will be 30 when we are TTC. Would you guys recommend abstaining or FR? Thank you! oh and I will be 24 when we TTC.

Abstaining DOES sway more girl than boy but you have to have 7-10 days of abstain for it to work. If you abstain for 2-4 days that is ideal for blue!!!

I would do abstain if my husband was 30.

[Mum23boys]

Hi Im knew to all of this - what is this abstaining all about ? I am 33 and my Husband is 31 we are both fit and active and have 3 boys aged 7,5 and 2 and are thinking of a 4th and woukd like to try and sway for a girl but i was under the impression we needed to do the deed with a 2-3 day cut off - especially as all our boys were conceived by dtd the day before and on the day of OV ?

[atomic sagebrush]

Shettles timing has been debunked and several of us have gone onto conceive girls by BD on O or a few hours before after having 2-3-4 Shettles opposites. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

All you ever wanted to know about abstaining is found in these threads (and probably MORE!)

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/5636-frequency-bd-pink-blue.html

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/10156-jellybean-factory-%96-understanding-sperm-count-frequency.html

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/9736-how-many-attempts-should-i-do-when-pink-blue.html

[Prayingpinkgirl]

I have been reading a lot of the sway pink forums over the past couple months. I finally made an account. I wanted to know if I could have some assistance in a last minute sway. I have been tracking my Ovulation. I have a 26 day cycle for the most part. I just started my cycle Dec. 3rd and I am due for ovulation Dec. 15th. This is 2nd month ttc. Last month my cut off was 4-5 days cut off with one shot bd with a finger of aci jel inserted 2 hrs prior.....The vitamins my husband has been taking is Lic Root, Acidohilus, Cranberry pills, vit. c and baby asprin every other day. He also has been drinking about half a gallon of crystal light a day. I have been taking cranberry pills, vit c, folic acid and drinking crystal light. I also drink about 1 cup of coffee daily with 2 packets of equal. We eat chicken and ground turkey almost daily. Low on the red meat. I have been trying to keep track of PH...mine is usually low 4-4.5 and husband is around 8. Do you have any advice. I am 31 and husband is 29 and we have an 8 year old boy and really just want to complete our family with a baby girl

[Prayingpinkgirl]

I have been reading a lot of the sway pink forums over the past couple months. I finally made an account. I wanted to know if I could have some assistance in a last minute sway. I have been tracking my Ovulation. I have a 26 day cycle for the most part. I just started my cycle Dec. 3rd and I am due for ovulation Dec. 15th. This is 2nd month ttc. Last month my cut off was 4-5 days cut off with one shot bd with a finger of aci jel inserted 2 hrs prior.....The vitamins my husband has been taking is Lic Root, Acidohilus, Cranberry pills, vit. c and baby asprin every other day. He also has been drinking about half a gallon of crystal light a day. I have been taking cranberry pills, vit c, folic acid and drinking crystal light. I also drink about 1 cup of coffee daily with 2 packets of equal. We eat chicken and ground turkey almost daily. Low on the red meat. I have been trying to keep track of PH...mine is usually low 4-4.5 and husband is around 8. Do you have any advice. I am 31 and husband is 29 and we have an 8 year old boy and really just want to complete our family with a baby girl

[atomic sagebrush]

Did you see that I had already responded to the post you made yesterday?? http://genderdreaming.com/forum/introductions/60245-new-girl-swayer-4.html