abstain or requent BD with 2 day cut-off for ttc a girl.

[threelittlebears]

Hi, I have been doing so much research from this wonderful site and now I need some advice and am hoping someone has some suggestions?

My husband and I are both 40 and ttc a girl. We have 3 DS's all under 5 and they were all conceived with frequent BD (sometimes twice a day) from first positive OPK through to and including O within 1-2 cycles. I am now taking cranberry, calcium and magnesium, folate and naturally follow a girl diet anyway. I am not using any type of lubricant or douching.

This is now my 4th cycle since my period returned after finishing BF DS3 who is 15mnths.

I am due to ovulate in 4 days and use a saliva microscope, cervix position and note CM changes to determine ovulation. I always fall back into regular 28 day cycles, ovulating on CD14 as soon as AF returns and it's the same this time.

I have read so much on here about timing and I just can't decide what to do! I am tossing up between:

1) Frequent BD up to a 2 day cutoff

2)Abstain for 5-7 days then 2 day cutoff

3)Abstain for 7 days then DTD once on ovulation day.

I know from what I have read on this site that abstaining isn't recommended at our age, however I have also read to do the opposite of what you did to have your boys, and for us that was frequent BD up to and including ovulation.

I have considered 0+12, however whilst I can pinpoint ovulation day, I find it hard to work out the exact timing. I guess with more practice I could, so would this be worth a try?

Gee, it all feels overwhelming sometimes and I know stress and ttc a girl just don't mix...lol!

Would love any feedback. All you ladies seem so supportive of each other and I love this site for all the detailed info!

Thanks in advance, Justine.

[nuthinbutpink]

I have 3 DDs and we did frequent with a 2 day-ish cutoff!

[threelittlebears]

Sorry, I should add that I am currently on CD 10 and ovulate on CD 14. So far this cycle we have BD just once on CD 7. So i'm wondering for this cycle if I should continue abstinence until CD 12 which is a 2 day cutoff or start BD now up until a 2 day cutoff or continue to abstain until ovulation day and DTD once only.

Thanks again!

[amari]

Welcome! You could do fr and not frequent bd. So he would release himself for 5-7 days but then you would just dtd with a 2 day cut off or on ovulation day or o-2, o-1, and on o day. This would be different than what you did having your boys b/c you wouldn't be having all the sperm in your body but it would still be lowering sperm count=good for girls.

[threelittlebears]

Thanks nuthinbutpink! This is what I have been leaning towards after reading my posts. It all tends to make more sense when you read your plan rather than have it swirling around in your head...lol!

Would love to hear from others who have done frequent BD with a 2 day cutoff.

[threelittlebears]

Thanks amari.....that makes sense too! I have read about FR lowering sperm count rather than frequent BD which raises PH, so that is another option. Thanks again for taking the time to reply!

[girlmom]

all mine were conceived on o day. sometimes frequant release sometimes abstance. we tried it all. timing is your least importnant factor. good luck

[rainbowflower]

I disagree with "do the opposite of what you did when you got your boys" - most people will be inadvertantly doing some pink and some blue sway things if they knew nothing about swaying when they conceived before. Just because you had boys, doesn't mean what you were doing 100% swayed blue.

Personally I'd go for option 3 out of all of those because that frequency will sway pink and the timing of DTD on OV day will give you the best chance of pregnancy.

If you conceived fast before I wouldn't be worried about the risks of abstaining.

As girlmom says, timing is the least important factor for a sway

[auroara78]

I would have him FR if he's game (not BD'ing) and try a 2 day cut off or just have one attempt on O. Zana had one attempt on O day, jump and dumped, and is having a girl (I also believe her DH released twice, maybe even 3 times a day??) You'd have to read her sway for details....

[atomic sagebrush]

The "do the opposite" thing mostly comes from the other site. Just because you do the opposite of something, that doesn't make it GOOD. If you didn't lose weight on the Atkins diet, the answer is not doing the opposite and to start eating nothing but birthday cake - that's even WORSE!

If you don't want to do frequent, that's fine, I would suggest you just BD once at pos OPK and leave it at that. Abstain is your option, it does sway pink, and as long as you are aware of the risk and you are willing to accept that, you are adults and can do what you wish!!

Do NOT do O+12 if you are 40. At 40, our eggs may not even LIVE 12 hours and they certainly will not be as good a quality at that time as when they were first ovulated. I have never seen a 40 year old conceive with O+12. Here are my O+12 essays (inc. how to) that you will prob. want to read.http://genderdreaming.com/forum/ttc-...ry-o-12-a.html