8weeks & Gender Anxiety

[Bluedust90]

Hi
I am pregnant again after a blighted ovum last February and a chemical pregnancy in December.
I am so grateful to have made it to 8 weeks and had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks and saw a little bean with a flickering heart beat.
I have BGG. I am not sure where my GD has come from as I have a Boy but when I got pregnant for the second time I was sure he would have a brother, I was slightly disappointed, then third time I was sure it would be a boy right? Nope. Right now I am happy that I have a boy and two girls but the feeling of wanting another boy has been with me since my youngest was born. I am already being very hard on myself so I hope someone can understand.
Since I have found out I am pregnant, I am on this symptom spotting spiral! My pregnancy is more similar to my girls’ than my sons although not exactly the same.
I am convinced my boy sway failed and I am really beating myself up day in and day out. How do I get through these feelings to just wait it out?! My brain is working over time and I am really unhappy with my thoughts but they wont stop - I still may have chance at a boy? Maybe clutching at straws who knows? But I am not coping very well so far! How did everyone else get through this time. It feels like im in limbo. One minute I am ok the next minute im not at all!

[atomic sagebrush]

Honestly, some of the worst cases of GD I've ever seen are in people who already have one of a particular gender. They feel that they're doing all this to give their beloved child a brother or sister, and that adds a very intense, deep seated need to provide this brother/sister to the child whom they love so very much. This is not unusual in any way!

Symptoms do not predict gender. I know it's so hard for you guys to believe, but at this point I have talked to roughly 123,456,789 pregnant women and symptoms are meaningless. Not only do I get this question all the time, but my two most similar pregnancies were my 2nd boy and my girl. My other three pregnancies were all wildly different from each other and they were all boys. There is just no way to tell from symptoms what gender you're having. At the stage of conception you're at, the Y chromosome is still dormant. It isn't doing anything. It isn't making testosterone or anything. So it can't be that you're having these different symptoms for any reason really.

The truth is of course we cannot know if your baby is a boy or a girl at this stage. It could be a girl, it could be a boy. You just have to take it a day, or even an hour or a minute, at a time till you find out. But what I do know is that you don't need to mourn and despair based on symptoms, because they don't tell you a thing.

[Bluedust90]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.
I havent been sleeping well and I am on progesterone pessaries and feel like im genuinely going insane. I am going to find out soon but im just wearing myself down. I do feel this pregnancy is not entirely similar to any of the others maybe bits here and there and im just reading into it abit much!
I do feel alot better today but might not be the case tomorrow. Im just trying not to think about it and just hope everything is still ok either way.
I do wonder why I have put so much pressure on myself based on a vision I had 9 years ago! Who knows why I cant just let it go!
Thank you for your grounding response. I so appreciate it xxx

[atomic sagebrush]

How are you doing now, Blue??

[Bluedust90]

Hi, sorry I have been abit awol. I had my 12w scan today measuring 12w +6d.
I cant make out what I think of the nub at all and im now more eager to find out. I didnt do the nipt as i didnt feel mentally ready to know. Thankfully I am in a better place now xx Heres my little bean 💖

43766

[LMSM]

What a cute bubba! Glad all seems well :)
I usually am pretty good with nubs but am not 100% sure that what I am seeing is the nub so won't comment :)
Hope you're ok - I know what a mental rollercoaster this all is...

[LMSM]

How are you feeling Bluedust90?

[Bluedust90]

Hi, Im ok. Definitely up and down with emotions but have calmed down alot until I actually know for certain anyway. It really is such a tough thing to go through mentally and then to feel guilty for feeling this way! I hope you are ok too xxx
Thank you for asking after me, i really appreciate it