Birth of daughter 3 out of 4, lol

[TTC5]

I was thrilled to be pregnant again, and to experience what I had missed out on with the birth of DD2. I was planning a VBAC and just guessed that it would be a boy!

We had to find out so DH said anyway lol.... we found out it was "another" girl. My eldest daughter who was 8 at the time, broke down to tears. It tore my heart in two

DH looked shattered, I could see it despite him not saying anything.

We went to see MIL right after and we bought something pink, took it to her to show her and her face lights up "It's a boy?!" and then she see's the pink.

"Oh no, Oh no" she cries . I could have torn her to pieces I just had to walk away to keep calm!

As my pregnancy progressed my sisters cancer was getting worse. I was around 30 weeks or so and my sister was now dying. This is when it hit me. I am SO blessed to be having another girl. I can use my sisters name. My sister would love that. My sister passed away in my arms and as she did I told her, her niece was to be named after her and she smiled and nodded

The following month I went in to pre term labour at 36 weeks. Probably from the PTSD I had developed after watching how my sister suffered etc and the grief/stress. Just as well she came when she did though given the problems during her labour!

So my waters broke one evening and I started having contractions right away. I could talk and walk fine. As this was a VBAC we had to head in to hospital right away to get checked over. When we got there it was around 11pm. I was only 2-3cm dialated. They put me in a labour room and I found comfort on the floor on a mattress leaning over a bean bag. I could not stand the drip and monitoring they hooked me up to and they let me take them off for a bit so I could sit in the shower. The hot shower was bliss during contractions!

Soon enough the contractions got too much and off to the bed I went. It was early hours of the morning and they did an internal and I was 5-6 cm. OMG My first was born by now!!!! What on earth was my body doing?!

By 9am the midwife hooked me up some gas, and I sucked it like there was no tomorrow lol!

An hour later, I was found to be ready to push - yayyyy I pushed for what felt like an eternity.. as her head was crowning I got the ring of fire. I did not remember this with my first?! Her head was half way and then she became stuck. Her heart rate dropped, her cord was getting compressed.

The midwife as this stage asked my husband to press the emergency button on the wall behind us, and then the room was filling up with people. Bubs head came out, they got the cord off but her shoulders were now stuck.

I prayed to my sister to help me.

The midwife looked at me and said You have to push this baby out NOW... ready to cut me down there if I couldn't!

I pushed with all my might, and she was finally born. She had shoulder dystocia - ouch!

But my baby was not crying? She was whisked away, dh did not get to cut the cord and she needed to be resusitated. She had no pulse and it was the longest moment ever!! She came around and shortly after I started heamoragging. They got that under control enough but I did require surgeory to remove some placenta. I was pretty sick for a good week after hr birth from such blood loss. My baby despite being born early, weighed a whopping 7pd 6oz! Day earlier they guessed 5-6 pounds lol.

She had some troubles breathing on and off that week and feeding but she soon got there with some help.

I was in love, I treasured every single moment with her and all my GD just dissolved away!!!!

[Roonarpia]

OMG you have had some scary experiences and I am so sorry about the loss of your sister Thanks for sharing again, I am going to look for your DD4 story!

[LolaInLove]

OMG you got me crying again. You need to write a book someday, K!!!! I am glad all worked out for you with this one. So sorry about your sister, what a hard thing to see but beautiful that she died in your arms. xoxo

[DoulaMama]

I'm so sorry about your sister I cannot imagine. To be having a baby and losing a loved one at the same time... ~tears~

I'm so glad that you and your little one were fine and that you got your VBAC. (Hugs) xo

[zanacal]

I'm so sorry you lost your sister, I can't imagine either x

[purplepoet20]

Trying to write this while crying uncontrolably... I lost one sister years before I was born and I cry for her a lot but for other reasons that I will explain one day. I know I would never be the same if I lost one of my younger sisters or even my older and lil bro. I am very close to my sis mel and lil bro and I will never me the same if something happened to them. If I had been with them when it happened I don't know what I would do. I suffer from PTSD and other conditioned because of sever childhood abuse so I know how it can affect a person.

You are a very strong person and your daughters are very lucky to have you to look up too