Dearest GD friends,

I wrote this "thank you" for the wonderful women who are showering me this weekend as we celebrate our daughter's arrival in two weeks. I also wanted to share it with you too, as so many of you provided amazing advice, faith and courage along this journey.

My love and sincere thanks to each of you! xo Rose

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I am overwhelmed by the love and support you have shared with our family, over the past year and throughout our friendships. I’ve tried to express the extent of my gratitude, but words are insufficient. I will try again today, and will keep trying!

It’s funny… I love to tell the story of how much we wanted this child and how hard we tried to have her. Of our initial trust in perseverance, then after a year, our hope that medical technology and Stanford could help. Of the journey and struggles that resulted from three failed IVF cycles and discouraging feedback from our doctors. Of believing that we would not have another biological child of either gender and letting go. Of the irony of getting pregnant naturally six weeks later. And then finding out, on the ten-year anniversary of the day I met DH, that the tests showed a healthy daughter.

Several of you noted that we never fully gave up, nor did you. "S" told us in December 2011, “I am certain that we will be celebrating your baby girl next Christmas” and here we are. "K" sent us her DD's hand-me-downs a year before this baby was conceived. Some of you were also honest in sharing your concerns… you didn’t want the quest for this child to become an obsession.

These are among the many reasons I am moved by your friendship. You were there for me. You didn’t abandon me or label me ‘crazy’ or tell me that I should just be grateful for what we have (or maybe you did, but you were kind enough not to say it to my face ☺). You stood by me. "M", on Mother’s Day two years ago when DH and I had one of the most painful discussions of our marriage. "R", when we were exploring egg donors and only you could actually evaluate all of the potential donors based upon face shape! "S" and "L", founding members of the “everyone should name their daughters Kate club”… always there with your pragmatic advice and encouragement. "K", who sent the baby’s first pink outfit within hours of our finding out. "L", right there with the purple tutu the very next day. "C", the individual hand-letter-pressed invitations you created so beautifully.

I will never fully understand why you were willing to vest yourself in this journey. But I know that you did. I was never alone. It feels like this baby is being born into the arms of every one of you. And I look around the room at this extraordinary group of women, and I marvel at her good fortune, really.

One of the wonderful and unexpected blessings of this child is to experience such a genuine outpouring of support. Even from those who weren’t aware of the challenges along the way. The “likes” and comments on Facebook when we posted the “It’s a Girl” poster DS1 made for me with the heart over the “I”. I will never forget that day. The reactions of neighbors, of check-out clerks and grocery baggers, of the ladies at the local store, of waitresses at restaurants, of the teachers at our sons’ school. It really has felt like everyone is celebrating with us. Beyond what it means for our family, it seems to have some meaning for others…. perhaps affirming that dreams can come true… or that good things do come to those who wait. [Even as I say this, I want to acknowledge that I have dear friends in this room whose own dreams haven’t yet been realized, or who are still hoping, still trying, and my heart is with you.]

DH and I are so grateful for this child, at this time. And even more so for our three sons. Many of you know that I have three incredible older brothers, and it was an amazing way to grow up. She is so lucky… DS1 and DS2 are already fighting over who will make her bottles in the morning. This child will be named in honor of sisters… my mother’s only sister, Katherine, and my own sister, whose lifelong nickname is Rose. I hope Kate is like my sister and aunt… wise and thoughtful and witty and confident.

I’ve written a lot over the past three years, and I’d love to share one lesson I wrote to a friend this summer that I hope we can all benefit from:

“When I turned 40 last year, DH and I were at a peaceful place. I was still hoping for a daughter but so grateful for our boys and the happiness in our marriage. I was scared of trying naturally, yet knew that we had to try. Lots of attempts, all negative, then finally the surprise positive in June.

When the call came... healthy daughter... I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude that has remained. It has colored every area of my life for the better. I still can't believe it. The anticipation of her birthday, her infancy, her toddler years... how excited the boys are to have a sister. How much fun it will be to have a house full... to foster a one-on-one relationship when the boys are older and leave for college. I did a little shopping at first just to celebrate without wanting to jinx anything. And my friends are planning a wonderful pink and purple baby shower that is heart-warming. But I'm still a boy mom at heart, and it's not the clothes or bows or dance lessons that I care about. It’s the deep and abiding hope, a hope I’ve had from a very young age, for a relationship with a daughter… even writing letters to my future daughter when I was in middle school. In the morning and at night when I'm by myself and feel her kicking, I reflect on our good fortune and am so glad we didn't give up.

I don't know why, after trying so hard for so long, this happened for us. But it couldn't have happened if we hadn't tried. And I believe that is the essence of being alive. To hope, to try, to seek the life you most want, to make the best of every situation. And to cherish what you have, even as you seek that which you hope for.”

Amen.