Thread: Number of children
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May 2nd, 2012, 01:53 PM #1
Number of children
In my country (Eastern Europe) most of the families ( I think more then 90%) have 2 kids.
It's like when you get married, you got to have 2 children by default. Pigeon pair is desirable of course If you have 2 boys, that's OK too, 2 girls means you pretty much failed as a mother/family.
If you have 3 children here, you're considered to be brave, 4- irresponsible, 5 or more - completely crazy and ready for psychiatric evaluation lol!
Most of the comments I'm getting ( beside: is it a girl again? Oh, your poor husband! It's better to have 2 daughters then 3 right, but it's too late for you guys! Ha, ha! etc.) is how brave we are to have 3 children. Although I know lots of families with 3 kids, waste majority have 2.
Also many people, esp. those who have fantastic income and cars and houses have 1 child, while people with not such great cash situation tend to have more.
How it is where you live? I'm getting the impression Americans are more open to the idea of a large family?m/c 2001
2003
2007
2012 failed sway
2014 my surprise baby
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May 2nd, 2012, 02:09 PM #2
Growing up... it was normal to have families of 2-3 kids. Families with 1 child were seen as having fertility issues or were unmarried and a single parent. Families with 4+ kids or blended families (steps and halfs) were seen as trash and welfare depended.
Currently... In my neighborhood most people have 2 kids. Mostly either 2 girls or 2 boys but one has a pigeon pair. There is one family with 4 girls but they are show offs and in debt from trying to make people think they are rich. A few families have 3 kids but the 3rd is from a 2nd marriage.
In some States it is normal to have has many kids as you can. Which is ok as long as they stay in that area, vacation for big families are sometimes not fun when people are pointing at you. When a family of 4+ and sometimes 3+ is seen in a certain area you will notice people talking behind there backs. Having all of the same gender is seen as you were trying for the desired gender. Having several of one gender and one of the oppisite is seen as you kept trying to get that desired gender.
A lot of cultures love pigeon pairs or all boys. Boys are the ones who can preform last rights, pass on the name, care for the parents, and so many other things.
No matter where you go people are rude. Even people with only 1 child will insult everyone who have more then 1... my SIL and DH family all say we should have only had 1 and been happy with what we had. We knew we wanted at least 2 kids anyways and now we love the idea of 3.
People can say what they want but in the end if you hold your head up high with a happy smile then no one can hurt you with their comments.2007
2007 2008 2009 2010
2012 twin
DADDY wants
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May 2nd, 2012, 02:13 PM #3
Where I live, 2 or 3 is common. 4 is less so, but not crazy, but 5 is uncommon. Not a lot of families with only children, but there are some. DH is an only child, and I am one of 3. We originally decided on 2, but after DD2 surprised us, DH agreed to try for #4.
2004 2006 2010 2012
My BOY sway worked!! THANK YOU GENDER DREAMING!!
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May 2nd, 2012, 02:42 PM #4
It's common enough here in Ireland to have more than two children. Most of the people I know have or intend to have around 3 or 4. It wasn't that long ago that contraception was illegal here so most families were large. My Dad is one of twelve and my Mum is one of eight. I think with each generation families are getting smaller though.
Ignore the comments, people make rude comments here too, no matter what your choices are someone has an opinion on it, you can't win.
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May 2nd, 2012, 03:47 PM #5
i get alot of rude comments and stares when i go out with the girls, not to mention a big pregnant belly.
x5
x2 dd#6 lost an identical twin sister and dd 5 lived in my arms for 2 hours
2012!! he's finally here!
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May 2nd, 2012, 04:01 PM #6
The best thing a mom with either a lot of kids, all the same genders, or several of one and a DG.... is to think of some great comebacks!
Just a few days ago someone at the store noticed I was prego and I had both boys with me. She said "You must be really unhappy with boys" I noticed she had 3 girls with her and before her husband could say anything to her I said "Well just because your jealous of my boys doesn't give you the right to say anything to me about being happy with or unhappy with who my kids are". She tried to say something about being happy with 3 girls but started to cry and walked off. Yes I was mean but I wasn't the one who started it.
The people who bring up the topic are the ones who are either jealous or just evil people! Make a long list of comebacks and remember then. Even if we moms get our DG we will still have to defend having more then 2 kids!2007
2007 2008 2009 2010
2012 twin
DADDY wants
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May 2nd, 2012, 04:10 PM #7
Around here, 2 kids about 2 years apart seems to be the most common. Again, the pigeon pair is considered ideal. I already stood out like a sore thumb with my 3 kids, and I know it's going to be way worse with 4. Among my closest friends, two have 2 kids (both pigeon pairs, of course), one has one kid, and several have chosen never to have kids. They all think I'm completely nuts. Then again, my social circle is a little strange since it includes mostly female university professors or other academic professionals - I think in those careers it's a lot more common for people to choose not to have kids.
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May 2nd, 2012, 06:03 PM #8
I live in the UK and the majority of my friends have 2 children. They think I am crazy for trying for number 3 - one friend says you should never have more children than you have hands!
I think 3 would be considered acceptable but 4 a bit crazy. I also think it has how well you control them as well. There is a woman near where I live who as 2 boys then 2 girls (my perfect family set up!) but they are such badly behaved rude children that I think she gives large families a bad reputation as everyone would compare you to 'that' family. Who knows, maybe I will get to prove them all wrong!!!!- January 2008, - March 2010 - my royal baby July 2013
Hoping for a at some point, still weighing up HT or swaying.....
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May 2nd, 2012, 06:18 PM #9
I have six and everyone in my small town thinks I kept going trying for a girl!!! I did'nt care every time I was pregnant, as long as all was OK. But now that this is my last baby I would like a girl.
I hate peoples comments, they don't have to bring them up so it is none of their business..
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May 2nd, 2012, 07:09 PM #10
Most people have three to four kids where I live. Very few have more than 5, and the ones that do seem to have the same gender. My old neighbour had 7 kids! All of them boys... I know that she did want a daughter, but I'm not sure if they're trying again for a girl as my family and I moved away recently.
'04 '07 '10
After ages of praying for a sister for DD, I am proud to announce the birth of my twin baby GIRLS born Oct 31st.
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Healthy baby girl :)