Why do you want that dream gender, anyway?

[moof4]

I wanted a girl to share life with.

I wanted a girl for my husband to love, like a father and daughter relationship of a connection not even I would understand.

I wanted a girl for my boys so they knew how girls think and feel with regard to certain things, they can learn this from me however I have come to these conclusions already regarding my own values and beliefs.

I wanted to know what she would look like, I didnt want a girl I wanted a daughter

However having said all of this, I love my boys just sad that I will not get to experience some of the things mentioned.

Goodluck everyone hope your dreams come true xxx

[fish2012]

Carving this is such a good thread really intersting to read! I can never really believe GD for boys is as strong in women as GD for girls.... those ttc blue please don't hate me your replies are convincing me i'm wrong ;- But do read the next bit!

My gender diesire comes from my mother I am an only child, my mum was diagnoised with supected cervical cancer when i was born the drs said if you want a second child go home get pregnant now and we'll do the hysterectomy after the baby - my mum has said to me since i can remember I'm so glad you're a girl I only ever wanted one child a girl i would have had to have another baby if you were a boy! i feel the same if i get my dream girl I will never tell her what we did to get her in case it influences her to feel the same

I love my boys with all my heart by they aren't girls! I just feel i would be closer to a girl all thier lives in the uk we have an old saying a son is a son until he takes a wife a daughter is a daughter all of her life..

Plus since my SIL has started her weding plans I see how much more interested my inlaws are than they were in our wedding and i'm really worried it will be worse when she has kids.....(they are good people but i fear it's just natural)

shopping is part of it but really its about when they are grown up for me......

[cravingsalt]

I wanted a girl to share life with.

I wanted a girl for my husband to love, like a father and daughter relationship of a connection not even I would understand.

I wanted a girl for my boys so they knew how girls think and feel with regard to certain things, they can learn this from me however I have come to these conclusions already regarding my own values and beliefs.

I wanted to know what she would look like, I didnt want a girl I wanted a daughter

However having said all of this, I love my boys just sad that I will not get to experience some of the things mentioned.

Goodluck everyone hope your dreams come true xxx

This gave my goosebumps. It hit a little close to home. Fingers crossed for all of us.

[clarabell]

HI, I have three lovely boys but with each one wanted a DD so much. I have suffered GD so bad. To make it worse my husband has no understanding and thinks I am crazy. We argue about is alot, talking to you guys is the only way I can be understood and know I am not alone. I feel I will not be complete untill I have my DD, just can't get my DH to agree and now our marriage is falling apart. I keep my chin up by thinking in this day of HT maybe I could just get a donnor and be done complete regardless of what he wants. Those of you who have willing DH are very lucky to be able to keep trying. May all our dreams come true. I know many people will think I am selfish but at the moment I resent him for not loving me enough to see what this is doing to me. It feels like a loss.

[Grace]

Ever since I can remember I was certain that my first child would be a girl. I'm the oldest of 3 kids , my mom is the oldest of 9 brothers and sisters, and I've always enjoyed the special relationship between my mom, her sisters and my grandma. There's nothing like girl power! For many years I really wanted to have children, just haven't found the right partner yet. When ever one of my friends got pregnant I felt so jealous, like a kik in my stomach. But if the baby turned out to be a boy, then I wouldn't feel so bad...(nobody knows this, naturally).So when I finally became pg for the first time, I was sure that I'm going to have a girl, just couldn't even think about a different option. Of course I was shocked when we found out it's a boy in the 20w US, it took me three days to get over it, everyone thought I was strange and over reacting. But then DS1 was born, and I immediately fell in love with him, I thought he was the prettiest baby ever. When we decided to TTC again (that is I decided and DH went along with me) I tried to sway for a girl, but I ended up mc. After that I remember feeling kind of stupid for wishing for a girl, and that it really doesn't matter as long as the baby is healthy. So next time we did nothing to sway, and sure enough got another adorable boy. Now, this past year I find myself wanting another baby and my desire for a girl has returned big time. I find myself gazing at pink baby strollers and pretty girls wearing dresses , I can't help it. Last year we went to a country fair and these little girls were showing what they learned at ballet class, it brought tears to my eyes! Though I love my boys dearly and wouldn't trade them for anything, a girl would make me so happy, that's why we're swaying pink now, but I must confess that another boy would also be fine, I guess with each baby it gets easier for me, my boys are so cute...good luck everyone and enjoy your kids no matter what, they are a true blessing!

[zibibbogirl]

For me it is about having the experience of raising both genders. If I could only choose to have either all girls or all boys, I would probably pick boys. So I am in my element having 3 DS. I was over the moon when DS1 was a boy. But it would be nice to have the opportunity to raise a DD too.

[Northern_Shutterbug]

I read something somewhere about why someone wanted a little girl and it moved me to tears. I wish I could find it again, it was beautifully written.

It went along the lines that as a mother of just boys you will always miss out on those moments you can only have with a daughter;
giving birth to a daughter
dressing a girl up
explaining to your daughter what it is to be a woman and how to be a strong one at that. Then to watch her grown into a woman, and understand what she is going through.
to be the mother of the bride
to watch your daughter have children of her own and experience pregnancy again through her eyes
watching your daughter be a mother

I was always a tomboy so the dresses thing isn't a big thing to me, but is something nice.

I was so close to my dad, and although my boys are super close to their daddy, I would like him to have the father daughter relationship I had with my dad. I was a daddy's girl! I know my husband is desperate for that relationship too as he has a sister and sees it with her.

I'd like to raise both genders and I think it would help my boys understand girls more if they are raised with one. I would hope that it would help them respect women more when they are older.

Part of me thinks that when I'm older I think a girl would make more of an effort to keep the family together, help with big events like Christmas, and hopefully help look after DH and I when we get old. But i also hope I raise my boys well enough to do all this as well!

[wishing4anXX]

I'm new here and browsing through all the threads I saw this thread. It's interesting to read why we all have gender dreams and I have often wondered why I need a little girl so bad. Before I ever got pregnant, I always thought I would get girls. I come from a family with mostly girls and I have only sisters. We have a great bound with each other and our mom. I'm a girly girl and like pinks and purples, glitter and make-up, doing my nails. When I got pregnant I just knew it: my little girl was coming!! But she was very ill and sadly she passed away during the pregnancy All I wanted was to be pregnant again and didn't care if it would be a girl or a boy. I got a beautiful boy, who has literally saved my life just being his adorable little self. My husband only wanted one more child, so I felt a lot of pressure for our third child to be a girl. I tried the shettles method, but didn't get pregnant. So I stopped tracking my ovulation and just went for it. We got another boy. He is gorgeous like his brother! But they are absolutely boyish is every way. My house is cluttered with lego, cars, balls. And I HATE balls. I get a fright when they come flying over. And the come flying over. A lot. I just want a girl to see what it's like, to get a great bound with and also to see if she looks like her big sister who is so dearly missed. That's why we will go HT in a few years. My DH actually doesn't want more children, but he knows how sad it makes me not to have a girl so we will take one more shot. HT is our only option to ensure the right gender. I'll have to wait a few years though as my youngest is still a baby and life is busy enough already. Until then I'll dream of pink and purple on a little girl...

[Winngrin]

Im dreaming of raising a girl so that I can teach her the things my own mother never taught me, which makes very little sense because my sister and I grew up with only our mother. Despite this, I was never taught about girl subjects. I had to learn about my monthly cycle from friends, my own mother never talked to me about it and didnt know I was getting it for quite some time, until she found some pads under the bathroom sink. She never spoke to me about sex, or love, or all the things a woman should expect and demand from her partner.

Growing up without a father or any strong male influence has also made me want to raise a daughter with my wonderful hubby as her strong male influence. I longed for a brother or some other male to look out for me while I was younger.....someone for boyfriends to fear, LOL! I had some close male friends that somewhat filled that role, but really nothing can take the place of a father or brother. I have my 3 boys now and I want a girl so badly to have the relationships I never had. I also feel that I am now at a point in my life where I can be a good influence to a daughter, and it hurts to admit, but I wasnt at this point in my first marriage. I truly believe I am at the happiest point in my life thus far, and that maybe things just happen when they are supposed to.

[Sihaya]

It's been a couple of weeks since the last post, but I think this is a great conversation to have.

I am the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter. Growing up, I always imagined my first child as a girl. I didn't even realize I was assuming I'd have a girl until I was pregnant for the first time and just knew from conception that he was a boy. That's when I first stumbled on the idea of swaying, when I was researching GD. I wanted to sway after that but had an unexpected pg that ended in miscarriage followed by a Shettles-only sway that also ended in miscarriage. At that point, like a previous poster, I just wanted a live baby and so ended up with DS#2.

I am a tomboy and hate pink (for me and on babies/girls), glitter, bows, makeup, jewelry, etc. What I am really longing for is the things that I can't teach a boy or help them with like explaining fertility/sexuality, being mother of the bride, and being included when they have their own children. I also would like each of my children to have at least one sibling of each gender (I was 1 of 4 - 2 girls & 2 boys), which means if our pink sway attempt works, we will do it again in the future. I'm open to having three or four more kids, and would love if the rest were all girls.