2 or 3 kids? Anyone having regrets after having #3? or opposite?

[Cauliflower]

Hi,

I have always wanted 3 kids! Now I have two healthy boys, age 3 and 5, and I am so grateful. I wanted my firstborn to be a boy and I wanted a brother for him, thanking God every day for making my dreams come true.

I have only started noticing girls now, and of course want my 3rd to be a baby girl. My husband only want two kids. We both work and having two small children has been tiring. I am in the process of trying to convince him to have #3, but in that process having doubts whether it is going to be too hard with jobs and everything!

So:

Should have another bcz...:
- I will have my desired DD!
- I will have no regrets of not having 3.
- My sons will have another sibling.
- If one or both decide to study abroad, my house wont be empty when they leave.
- I want to experience pregnancy and baby just one more time.

Should have only two bcz...:
- Less time per kid!
- i will be cranky worn out, and not fun to have around.
- It is costly! All the vacations we want to have, how will it be possible with 3???
- Placing three kids in a car believe me I think a lot abt that. It is hard enough to fasten seatbelts on two of them.
- More time for us, less hectic life

Please do comment and share your expreiences!

[Rainbow baby]

I think you should do what your heart tells you! It is harder, it does cost more. The 3 car seats do fit in our car ok when we had to use 3! We got the 3 point harness ones so no trouble clipping them in and out put the eldest in the middle they can usually buckle them self!! We did have trouble with the lap belt type boosters clipping them in, so went out and brought the 3 point harness for all of them! All the bits and pieces and I wouldn't change having 3 if I could but hey we want 4! Yes you will probably be really tied the first few months but after that it really isn't that bad or maybe I am used to it now ? I do find though my eldest is left out a lot more and the little guys play together but in saying that they are all super close.

[Cauliflower]

Thank you rainbow baby!
I know in my heart I want 3 kids, boy or girl. I love children have always done. And I feel that I am not done yet, there is a baby missing...you know what I mean.
It is just that the heart says something else, and the brain starts to count, measure and rationalize it. having babies is about LOVE and nothing to do with rationalism, I guess

[Wanting-a-girl]

I think having my third was a great desicion no regrets at all because I had my first 2 when I was 16/18 so I feel that I didn't appreciate things as much at those ages.... I wanted my first two to be boys too

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I'm having my 5th. We're done after this one, but I have no regrets at all.

[I Love Ladybugs]

Cauliflower...I think all of those pros and cons just like you, and fully believe in my heart that I am missing out on one of my children should I not TTC again. I wish you the best and hope for pink bundles all around!!!

[PolishPrincess]

Cauli,
I just always wanted a larger group. I cam from three and I knew that I wanted my kids to have a strong sibling presence in their lives. I want one more (because I am totally whack) but I just like the feel of a big group and the love between siblings even more than what it brings to DH and me...

on the flip side you are exactly right about the negatives; There is more stress and more money loss...but vacations are not really that much worse unless it's Disney your shooting for, they just don't seem to get the big family thing.

I wish you all the luck, I know for me I have to choose what will leave me with the least regret.

PS- I LOVE that you wanted two boys in a row- they are fabulous aren't they!!!!!

[inshaallahxx]

Hey sister,
I know exactly what you're going through. I question this all the time as well. In the end though I know the regret will hurt more than any case of GD. I know the money will figure out, plus I'm okay not having a lot of money. I hope it teaches my children to work hard for what they have and the importance of faith. I could live with out a vacation and my heart will never yearn for one like my heart yearns for my unborn child.

If you ever need support or anything please feel free to PM or if you would like I could give you my email.
We are ttc at the EXACT SAME time, so maybe we can help each other through the wait. I will also pray for you.

[Cauliflower]

Thank you all for the answers, it feels good to get tis off my shoulders!

Polish Princess: We are doing the Disney tour in March so wen that is done, we are ready to become a family of 5 And yes I love my boys sooo much, they are so close!

Insha: Yes, we will be TTC together, soooo nice to have a TTC buddy already! And I am 99,99% sure I want 3 kids. It is just the 0,01 % that sometimes bother me Thank you for your kind offer, I need all the support I can get.

[Princess of Pink]

I'm currently TTC #6 and have no regrets at all! I am a firm believer that you don't ever regret the kids you do have....but will regret the ones you didn't have when you had the desire. Good luck!