Uk ladies

[Dreamofpink]

Oh ((hugs)) foxy it's just crap isn't it? I still feel that way all the time despite being crazy-in-love with my almost 13 mo ds3.

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[motherofboys]

I've decided to stop ttc. Dh doesn't want to call it a day on baby making 100%, he says give it a few years and see how I feel with ds4 is getting bigger and not a baby any more.
But right now I'm doing good. I don't think that the "it would have been nice to have a girl" feeling will ever completely go but I do feel like I don't need one any more. I stayed at a friends over New Years, she has 2 girls and at no point did I feel jealous or sad.
I'm not sure I could go through GD again but who knows where I'll be in a year or 2. Right now though I'm ready to move on to the next stage of parenting and happy with my boys.
I came away from my yearly lunch with my mum at Christmas feeling like it didn't matter what gender they are, I just want a better relationship than that and when I'm old that's what will matter, not the dresses and hair clips and pink.
I was so scared that I'd regret saying no more, and I know that for the time being the chance is still there and it's only been a few weeks since I started thinking about stopping but as these few weeks have passed I've felt happier and more sure of my decision so I hope that continues. And I know if I change my mind down the line I have the option of swaying too. I'm only 28 so there's time.


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[motherofboys]

Sweet mummy your inbox us full again


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[foxymrsg]

Defo dream of pink my ds2 is almost 2 now and I'm loving every moment with him and ds1 but it's a constant nagging at the back of my mind!

Mother of boys I'm really pleased that you are happy with your decision! And I agree you're still so young you've plenty of time to change your mind if you decide to! I'm glad you're in a happy place and at that point where you're not feeling jealous anymore that's wonderful!
I agree with the mother/child relationship. I think we get so hung up about mother daughter as that's what other people drum into us but actually as you say just longs you always have that wonderful relationship with your boys that you have now then pink dresses and bows don't matter! I hope DH and I will ttc one more. DH is twoing and throwing so much it actually makes me feel really crap! But if we do have a third and it's another ds I hope I can be 100% content with that. I know I'll love him no matter what of course I just hope that I'll be able to close that chapter in my life you know? Sorry I'm rambling lol

[motherofboys]

Ha ha I'm a rambler too so don't worry. I hope that everyone gets their dream gender but if they don't I hope they find peace with it. Another baby one day would be fabulous and I hope that if/when that time comes I can sway but keep a positive attitude.
I know I'll probably have a few ups and downs along the way though.
And I think it makes more sense financially to stop now but who knows what the future brings.
I've been jealous of my friends mother daughter relationships but as times gone on I've noticed how many women don't have that relationship with their mothers, but men who do.


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[foxymrsg]

Yes I agree, people,e were always so quick to point out the saying 'a daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son until he takes a wife' a builder we had in said this to me last year and so I asked him how often he and his sister visit their mum. Well guess what he visited his mum every weekend and has her round for Xmas and his sister has moved away and rarely sees her mum but it chat to on the phone! He hadn't thought of it like that just relating some trope he'd heard somewhere! True that's not always the case but think it's personality that it boils down to at the end of the day!
I have 2 sisters and one brother, I'm defo closer to my mum than all of them I think although my brother lives the closest and relies on my mum a lot but he is very much closer to my mum than my 2 sisters. Both live further away so just shows you don't even need to have a relationship that was close growing up, girls (and boys) still move away. It depends on who they meet etc and I've seen your boys on FB and you can tell how much they love their mumma! They will be super close to you!
Hope that's making sense of what I'm trying to say lol

[motherofboys]

I do think that it's all a combination of personality and how you raise them. After all no 2 are the same and you can push them all away yet 1 will stay close or you can reach for out and try to keep them close and 1 will push away from you anyway.


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[motherofboys]

I must admit though, I am a little scared about when all these babies start arriving. Someone I only know through Facebook has a girl after 3 boys today and there's still that little 'that could have been me' feeling. I expect that's normal and I'll still get that now and then until it's too late to change my mind.
We've decided to start saving for a holiday abroad. Something we've never had as a family and I've actually never had at all.
It's going to take about 2/3 years to save enough for 6 passports, the holiday cost plus enough spending money for 6 people. So that's something to concentrate on. Hoping I can find another project to take my attention away when I do inevitably dip.

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[Vic]

I am new here and just read your posts. I wanted to add that my mother in law has four boys and she is an amazing mother to them and they are really close to her. We chose to live close to her so she could see our boys a lot. I think you are absolutely right when you say it is about the relationship. My husband and his brothers are really close to her. The other thing that I have learnt from her is that when you have boys it is important to keep your own friendships up so you have people to do the girlie things with! Xxxxxx


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[motherofboys]

Thanks for that. Has she ever spoken about whether she was that bothered about only having boys and how she feels now? I know it's not the sort of thing I could speak to my mother in law about if she'd had all boys, but you seem closer to yours just for her to have offered you the advice to keep up friendships.
It's nice to know that you really can be that close and I'm not just kidding myself lol


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