In need of advice, or a ear .. I'm a mess!

[amanduhjade]

Okay, I don't even know where to start! I'm driving myself crazy here, I have two children with a previous relationship and I'm pregnant with my third.. Different father. Me and my current bf got together not long after me and dh split. I knew I didn't give myself enough time to get over him, or losing my family for that matter. But I couldn't stand the thought of being lonely and me and my current spouse had so much fun together , he kinda just filled the void. Me and him were on the outs the first couple weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I think it was a lot for him to take in.. After all I already have two children he had to adapt to quickly and now I'm pregnant with my third. I started hanging out with dh during my time of need, as I was so distraught .. He hasn't stopped trying to get me back since we've split! During this time he told me how much he loved me and he didn't care that I was having another mans child and he's never stopped waiting for me to come back home! And the truth is I never stopped loving him, I cry all the time when I drop the boys off with them.. For days! I don't tell my current bf any of this because I can't stand the thought of hurting him ! I mean how could I be so stupid ! I don't think about the consequences of my actions before making these irrational decisions, such as starting another family when I'm not over my first! Don't get me wrong I love him and he's a really good guy, but he's not my children's father ! And it shows ! He doesn't know how to handle my children and it's such a turn off! He gets irritated easily, he doesn't do family things often but when I'm with dh it just seems so right! So natural! And my kids are happy! I've decided to seek counseling so I'm hoping that will help! But I don't know what to do! I love the current guy I'm with but I'll never love him like I love ex dh ! But then I think to myself who am I to take away him having a family, this is his first child and the baby isn't even here yet! OMG I'm losing it

[SamS_TTCPink]

Sending you hugs! What a difficult situation. Before making any decisions, ask yourself why you and DH spilt up? Are those issues still likely to be there if you were to get back together?

I think some counselling is a great idea, even to just help you work out your own feelings and goals and dreams and go from there.

Thinking of you, not really a stress you need when you're pregnant. Maybe take some time out for you to do something you enjoy and to relax and take your mind off it all for a while...maybe a pregnancy massage??

xx

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time! Beating yourself up over what has happened isn't going to help, you need to look forward and ask yourself what is going to be best for you and your kids in the future. Huge (((hugs)))!

[Claire33]

How are you doing now? I hope you have made a decision that is right for you. If you choose your ex, then your current baby will have visitations with his father and if you choose your current bf your other two will have visitations with their father. So you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. So the best thing is to follow your heart! Good luck!