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July 13th, 2015, 06:06 PM
#11
Swaying Advice Coach
It's actually easier if you don't know which one it was because in our case, we talked to both boys (separately) and said we didn't know who had done it and didn't want to, no one was mad but we couldn't have it happening any more because of viruses - we played up the virus angle a lot - and also because there was some really bad stuff out there that no one needed to see and you couldn't unsee it.
Then, later after my husband was elsewhere then I went into the sexism aspect of it and also ~my personal belief~ that men looking at porn too much sometimes develop an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of actual women.
But mine were quite a bit older when t happened, more like 16 and 13 (and it was the little one!)
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July 13th, 2015, 06:28 PM
#12
Moderator
Yah I'm really hoping to raise them with a healthy attitude towards sex, and views of women. And also good judgement! I don't believe 'banning' anything ever works.....they will just go elsewhere, because teen are curious and hormones and friends, LOL. I remember being that age!
I really want them to see us as accepting and safe to ask their questions. I read about someone who conversed with her daughter through email about this stuff.....which I actually REALLY like, it removes the weirdness of a face to face conversation.
Me (38) and DH (38)
SAHM military momma to
DS1 (2004),
DS2 (who's all boy but loves to dance, though not in a tutu!) (2006),
DS3 (2009), and our rainbow baby girl DD1 (2017)
early m/c Jan 2013
Cycle #1 @ HRC (Oct 2014) - 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized and biopsied. 1XX and 1XY abnormal. 1XX no DNA found, rebiopsied and found normal, frozen.
FET attempt #1 (Nov 2014) - cancelled due to functional cyst. FET attempt #2 (Jan 30, 2015) - NT. Remaining embie failed to thaw.
May 2015 - started infertility treatments at OFC. Femara 2.5mg
July 2015 - BFP after second round of Femara. Aug 4 2015 -
6w4d
Dec 21 2015 -
mmc 7w1d
Apr 2016 - IVF Cycle #2. Converted to IUI because of uneven response and leading follicles.
Apr 19, 2016 - IUI with 3 mature follicles (2 right, 1 left), post wash: 17mil, 94% motility and 89% rapid motility. BFN.
June 3, 2016 -
5mg Femara cycle. 5w.
Sep 1, 2016 -
5mg Femara cycle. 8w.
Our rainbow baby girl arrived on Mon Aug 28, 2017 - "After every storm comes a rainbow". We are so thankful and grateful for every moment.
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July 13th, 2015, 07:41 PM
#13
Moderator
So DH had 'the talk', lol. It was our eldest. So that's a bit of relief.
It was uncomfortable and the kid was squirmy, lol, but we've established the basics and we'll be looking for some new books and resources for him to read more about things. We'll go from there but at least he knows how we feel about things!
Me (38) and DH (38)
SAHM military momma to
DS1 (2004),
DS2 (who's all boy but loves to dance, though not in a tutu!) (2006),
DS3 (2009), and our rainbow baby girl DD1 (2017)
early m/c Jan 2013
Cycle #1 @ HRC (Oct 2014) - 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized and biopsied. 1XX and 1XY abnormal. 1XX no DNA found, rebiopsied and found normal, frozen.
FET attempt #1 (Nov 2014) - cancelled due to functional cyst. FET attempt #2 (Jan 30, 2015) - NT. Remaining embie failed to thaw.
May 2015 - started infertility treatments at OFC. Femara 2.5mg
July 2015 - BFP after second round of Femara. Aug 4 2015 -
6w4d
Dec 21 2015 -
mmc 7w1d
Apr 2016 - IVF Cycle #2. Converted to IUI because of uneven response and leading follicles.
Apr 19, 2016 - IUI with 3 mature follicles (2 right, 1 left), post wash: 17mil, 94% motility and 89% rapid motility. BFN.
June 3, 2016 -
5mg Femara cycle. 5w.
Sep 1, 2016 -
5mg Femara cycle. 8w.
Our rainbow baby girl arrived on Mon Aug 28, 2017 - "After every storm comes a rainbow". We are so thankful and grateful for every moment.
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July 13th, 2015, 10:49 PM
#14
Dream Vet
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July 13th, 2015, 10:53 PM
#15
Moderator
Originally Posted by
TaytumJ
So glad things went well for you guys! It's never easy for you or him, but I bet just knowing that you want to help him develop a healthy relationship with sex and women will be so beneficial as he continues to grow.
I also believe that if you give healthy access and information, there won't be a need or a want for him to spiral down into the bad stuff. Seems like the stuff we ban and shame kids/teens run to harder. I think it will also help him have feel confident and secure as well.
It's probably going to be one of those funny stories you remember forever though!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Oh he was funny. At first it was "Oh I guess I might have looked, I didn't install anything!" DH gives him his skeptical eyebrow of doom. Then it was "...I guess I might have installed one thing." More eyebrow of doom. "Okay yeah I installed a few things." LOL!!!
And exactly, I'm not a fan of banning anything since IMO especially with bratty teens that only serves to make the temptation that much more enticing. I joked to DH that if we wanted him to never look for porn we'd just tell him how much we enjoyed it - hah!!
We've also set them up with a kids login on the laptop now that will log EVERY site they visit. So it won't matter if they figure out how to use incognito or delete their browser history, it'll alllll be logged on the server.
Me (38) and DH (38)
SAHM military momma to
DS1 (2004),
DS2 (who's all boy but loves to dance, though not in a tutu!) (2006),
DS3 (2009), and our rainbow baby girl DD1 (2017)
early m/c Jan 2013
Cycle #1 @ HRC (Oct 2014) - 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized and biopsied. 1XX and 1XY abnormal. 1XX no DNA found, rebiopsied and found normal, frozen.
FET attempt #1 (Nov 2014) - cancelled due to functional cyst. FET attempt #2 (Jan 30, 2015) - NT. Remaining embie failed to thaw.
May 2015 - started infertility treatments at OFC. Femara 2.5mg
July 2015 - BFP after second round of Femara. Aug 4 2015 -
6w4d
Dec 21 2015 -
mmc 7w1d
Apr 2016 - IVF Cycle #2. Converted to IUI because of uneven response and leading follicles.
Apr 19, 2016 - IUI with 3 mature follicles (2 right, 1 left), post wash: 17mil, 94% motility and 89% rapid motility. BFN.
June 3, 2016 -
5mg Femara cycle. 5w.
Sep 1, 2016 -
5mg Femara cycle. 8w.
Our rainbow baby girl arrived on Mon Aug 28, 2017 - "After every storm comes a rainbow". We are so thankful and grateful for every moment.
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Hello, Atomic hopefully you will see this! It has definitely been a while. I am not TTC, my cycles have been MIA for over a year, I'm quite certain. I have not been charting but haven't had it....
Not sure where to ask not TTC