If you have or grew up in a "large" family....

[begonia]

I came from a family of 7 kids and despite everyone saying to me OMG what a big family, it actually never felt big to me lol!

I am so close with my sisters I love it and this is what I love about having all girls myself because I know they will get this same enjoyment too, hopefully

Downsides to having all girls... I am not sure there is any to be honest!

Awww, TTC5, you're fab No downsides to all girls, love that. Your girls are blessed to have you as a mum. FX you get to add some blue soon!

[begonia]

DM thanks for the detailed reply, I love it! It totally helps This thread has actually been really good for my GD; I keep re-reading it when I'm not feeling great. Thank you everyone for sharing, it's awesome to read!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

I am liking this thread too. i was just talking to someone about this. I think exhaustion is just a fact of having kids. At least you can have older kids to chores.

[Hobbermittens]

I am glad that you started this thread, begonia! I am sort of freaking out about having a 4th, so reading this has helped me.

I never thought 3 was a big family, but that's what I have now, and that's what I grew up with. I wanted a 3rd because 2 just didn't seem like enough; I didn't feel done.

My kids get along well. There is a bigger gap between #2 and #3 than there was between the first two, so the first two are like a team, while the baby follows them around and bothers them mostly (but she's 18 months old, so that's her job, right? ). My eldest is actually pretty tolerant of the baby, and helpful with her. My son loves the baby too, but she is always knocking over his block towers and trying to eat his legos, so he is a little less tolerant of her. But I know in a year or two, once she really understands how to play, they will all have fun together!

We don't really have an issue with not having time for everyone. When I go to the grocery store, sometimes I will take just one kid with me, and they feel special when they get to do that. DH does the same when he runs errands. We have family game night, and we try to do something as a family on weekends. We always eat together, too.

I liked being part of a family of 3 kids, and I only remember not seeing my dad much because he worked ALL the time. That had nothing to do with the amount of kids in the family, though--he's a workahlic. He was around some, though, and he made good use of his time with us. He played with me a lot, and on weekends, he would take each of us on "dates" with him (out to eat somewhere we chose). So he did have good quality time with us. My mom was a SAHM and did everything--cooked, cleaned, etc.--so she was busy, but she was always there for us.

As far as me and my siblings, I remember there being a lot of ganging up among us kids, 2 against 1. When we were really young, my brother and I were close, and we used to gang up on my sister; but once I got to be about 11 or 12, and I wanted to be left alone, they younger two ganged upon me. We still had lots of fun, though, and I am glad I grew up in a bigger family. Especially now, because my brother and I haven't had a great relationship recently, and if it weren't for my sister, it would be pretty lonely. My sister and I are close, and we talk often (we live 3 states away from each other). I am really glad to have her! Plus, my brother chose not to have children, so my sister and I have all the grandkids. I am so glad she has kids, so my kids have cousins!

My DH is an only child, and though he doesn't say he was lonely as a kid, he does admit that sometimes he had no one to play with other than the dog!

[begonia]

I liked being part of a family of 3 kids, and I only remember not seeing my dad much because he worked ALL the time. That had nothing to do with the amount of kids in the family, though--he's a workahlic. He was around some, though, and he made good use of his time with us. He played with me a lot, and on weekends, he would take each of us on "dates" with him (out to eat somewhere we chose). So he did have good quality time with us. My mom was a SAHM and did everything--cooked, cleaned, etc.--so she was busy, but she was always there for us.


My DH is an only child, and though he doesn't say he was lonely as a kid, he does admit that sometimes he had no one to play with other than the dog!

This is pretty much our family - Monday thru Friday my girls see Dad for a kiss goodbye in the morning (sometimes, not always) and a kiss goodnight at bedtime. I'm very much a one-woman-show when it comes to weekday parenting. If there's something special going on at DD's school, things like that he will always show up for if he has enough notice to clear his schedule. On the weekends though he's really great about quality time with them and they eat it up

LOL about your DH not having anyone to play with besides the dog! Most people I know who were only children say they want 3 or 4 kids. I don't know many that necessarily disliked being an only, they just seem to want a bigger family themselves.

OH and I was talking to a friend today who was one of 3 girls and I thought it was a cute idea that her parents had. When they were growing up they had "Sister's Choice Sunday" where it was really just family day, and once a month each girl had a turn to pick what was for dinner and what game or movie they would do as a family that night. On the 4th Sunday it was Parents Pick Anyhow that could easily be for any gender mix, not just sisters!

[Lilian78]

I shouldn't respond because I grew up in a small family, but thought it might be helpful to add that I don't like coming from a small family. I only have one sibiling, and I'm not close to him . . . I don't even have a big extended family, which also sucks And things have been in the past few years very tough in my immediate family (my dad had a heart attack/stroke . . . brain damage, etc.), and most of the family responsibilities have fallen on me. So honestly, from a child's perspective, I think there are very few (if any) true downsides to having a big family. There are plenty of reasons for parents to have fewer children (let's face it, kids can be challenging, time-consuming, and expensive), but I think there are far more benefits to children from large families than small.

[chachamama]

I love this post!! DH & I are really struggling with the decision to have 1 more child or to have 2 more children - and it's important since we are still going through the adoption process (nothing yet, ugh!).. We are to the point where we are considering TTC again and possibly adoptiong #4. But we aren't sure if we are cut out for 4 kids..

I come from a VERY small family and to be honest, I didn't like anything about having a small family. I never had anyone to play with and it felt lonely.

I envision myself when my kids are grown and I want holidays, Sunday dinners, etc. to be full and loud and chaotic. <3

[TTC5]

Awww, TTC5, you're fab No downsides to all girls, love that. Your girls are blessed to have you as a mum. FX you get to add some blue soon!

Thankyou B xx You are a great mumma too =D

[ELP]

I've no time this morning B, but I'll be adding on a million points for you asap ok! I want at least 7 bubbas out of you and thats final

[rainbowflower]

I'm one of 4 (we're all girls, I'm the eldest). We are all really close and always have been. If we ever looked like we might fall out my mum would remind us that sisters are for life and we would not make it into such a huge deal. I never felt like I didn't get enough attention, but did enjoy going out alone with them to do general things. One special thing I always did with my dad before he died was the two of us would drive down to my Grandmas house on Christmas Day to bring her up for lunch, I always loved doing that.

My DH is one of 4 full-siblings too (he's the only boy, but did have two much older half-brothers), and says he felt picked on by all his sisters and always longed for a brother similar to his age. He tells me they'd gang up on him... Saying that, he did get spoiled a bit by his parents now and again and had his own room and own TV in it where his sisters all had to share.

Ideally we'd like 4 if money allowed, but I don't think it will allow!