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  1. #21
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    maximbella's Avatar
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    I feel the same way. It's been really, really hard on me lately. I'm not going to lie... I'm trying not to over post on here because I feel like I'm constantly being the negative one, but this GD is very real for me and I'm honestly not sure what to do. As much as I want to, I just can't get around the idea of having a son. It's heart breaking.


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  2. #22
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    Hugs Max ! Don't feel bad about posting. That's what this forum is about. I fully get ur pain and that's why i don't think i will open my envelope. I just can't go through the pain again ! It was terrible with DD3 i felt as if my heart but literally explode from all the emotions.

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  3. #23
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    Max post whenever you want i completely understand how you feel, you'd think id be over it by now having 4 boys wouldn't you? but nope!! im enjoying having a gender-free pregnancy because its removed all of that stress for me, but i do know that i have to face the truth in the end and that it may very well not be what i am hoping for. you arent alone in the way that you feel there are so many of us on here who have been through it or are currently going through it xx

    bluebooties im the same in that im just enjoying not knowing, of course we have to face the fact that baby is what it is on the day but for now its nice to just remain ignorant and not have to cope with raging GD if we dont hear what we are hoping for, i truly hope you get the most amazing surprise on the day
    now 6blue5pink

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  5. #24
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    Thanks for understanding! In hindsight, I really wish that I wouldn't have asked to know about gender.

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  7. #25
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    Max - Vent away, we don't mind. I'm not sure how I would have reacted had this one been a boy. I was beginning to freak out a bit towards the big day thinking this was a boy but I think I was trying to prep myself for the possibility that it was a boy so when they said girl, I was like "Well are ya sure?"

  8. #26
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    Post away max I sure hope your all better once you see sweet baby boy. It is hard though I never honestly thought I'd get to experience having a girl I was so immune to hearing "it's a boy"
    Afm I've been super busy dh has been and will be absent most of the month. I have not started on the nursery or anything. I have 7 orders to complete before Christmas and I have been stressed to the max! Struggling with my weight asked the dr about what to do she says " well you really can't control with exercise that's what I'd tell everyone else to do so you need to control with diet" (because of early labor) I only have 10 shots left to take so in reality I could have a baby in 10 weeks and I'm freaking out a little. Oh and I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead dr says well if we're going to have an early baby if I'd rather it be a fat one. But my only though is what if I had gd guess I'll know soon enough


    (07) (09) (14)(15) EDD 1-15-18
    (07) (08) (09) (14) (15) and praying for a to finish off our family


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  9. #27
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    Max - I understand what you are going through and please keep posting if you need to. I honestly never thought that I would hear boy 6 times!!! And that I would never get to have a girl. I always imagined a boy and a girl for myself. I am still having a hard time with it all. I am in sort of a surreal state right now. I still can't believe I am going to have another little boy in a few weeks. I have less than 5 weeks to go and this baby really can appear at any time. I have not bonded at all and I am worried about it. But I also pray on it all and know deep down, it will be ok.
    Last edited by Shannshaff; October 10th, 2017 at 07:01 PM.
    me (42 ) DH (43)
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    2005 2010 2013 (failed IG sway) July 2015 (swayed, lost his triplet siblings at 11w3d) 2017.

    Swayed for our but had all . Our family is complete.

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  10. #28
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    Hi ladies! I hope you don't mind me popping in, but I just wanted to say hello and hear from some of ladies I became quite fond of in the 2ww.

    My heart breaks to learn of the losses Mtolbert, Mummy, Bluedream and Naci have suffered. I pray they are coping and able to get through this knowing so many care. Has anyone been in touch with them recently?

    I'm also very sorry to see that some of you didn't get your desired genders. I agree with what other have already said; gender and age honestly doesn't change anything. Your babies will be loved regardless. Every family is different. Some have boys, some have all girls and some have both. But siblings will always bond and have a unique and beautiful relationship. I know it must be hard right now, but when you see those precious babies, I just know all your worries and concerns will vanish.

    Pepper, 4blue1pink, Ash, Lauren, CountryMommy, Sky, Lola, IW4K: Congrats to you ladies on your successful sways. I'm so happy for you all!

    My ultrasound shows a due date of March 31st and my LMP shows April 2nd so I can hop between both groups, right? ☺

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    My Successful Blue Sway!
    http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-...y-attempt.html

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  12. #29
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    Hi ttcblue! Good to hear from you and you are very welcome here! We have a private facebook group going as well, if you'd like to join then pm me

    I feel so bad for you ladies going through GD and really wish there was something I could say or do to help but I think we all know its simply a time thing and cant be wished away no matter how hard

    Maxim and anyone else feeling the same about feeling like you have to limit posts because you're worried about negativity. Please don't and please post whenever you need I understand how you feel but from the other end. I find myself holding back posting how much I'm enjoying this last pregnancy for fear of upsetting someone or making them feel bad that they don't feel the same I think we can realise and can accept everyone is going through a different journey at the moment and just do our best to offer support and encouragement. There is no wrong or right way to feel, there is simply feeling if that makes sense

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  13. #30
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    Max, vent away. We all have felt it at some point when we haven’t been lucky enough to get our desired genders. If there is place where you won’t be judged, it’s here!
    I know it is so hard to see the family you had pictured in my mind not come to life – and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way.
    I truly think it will only be once our babes are in our arms that we will be able to cast GD aside and bond fully with them – doesn’t mean we will love them any less.
    It is unfair – it is – but we have so little control over conception and what ensues – it is such a miracle in its own right ..
    You would think with my previous infertility journey (albeit not anywhere near as long as so many others) I would have come to terms with being truly, deeply content with just being blessed with healthy babies – not pink, not blue – healthy, the end.
    But that is not the case – I do feel blessed, but I feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing somehow, too..
    If before we had kids someone had asked me to choose gender – as in “you can only have one gender for all your kids, pick now” – I would have said boy, no hesitation at all, no regrets. And here I am, mother of two soon three girls – never what I “wanted” or would have chosen for myself - and never did I think I would be so in love with them. Because really, beyond the rest, it’s their souls, personalities that make them who they are – they are MY kids, fiercely so, and I could not love them any more than I do.
    It may seem hypocritical to say this whilst I am myself going through bouts of GD – but even if I never will get to experience “the other gender”, I do think that children know, innately how to make you fall head over heels for them. I am sure you little man will, too. It may not be until he is born and you lock eyes for the first time, but I promise you it will happen.
    I have the strongest bond with my DD2, whom I so much wanted to be a boy but wasn’t – to this day, she is as much of a mumma’s girl as can be and I love it – I am convinced she just knew what to do to make her mama melt and forget she ever wished she has been anything but what she is

    Shann- like I was saying to Max, I am sure you will bond with your little man once he is here…how many people, regardless of wanting a certain gender, can’t really bond with their unborn child because it all feels too unreal, intangible etc??
    Are you feeling better after your episode at the hospital? Back to normal?

    TTCblue – again congrats to you – so terribly envious! Haha you are more than welcome to join hon

    Ash, the weight thing is not easy – is it really that much out of control?? I struggle with exercise too because of all the contractions it triggers plus SPD has started early this pregnancy so my crotch feels like it’s been kicked repeatedly :P and it shows on the scale – I was only this big well into my 2nd trimester last time..sigh

    Bluebooties – at the end of the day, no one can tell you what is the best for you – if you feel like not knowing is what gets you through, then so be it!
    I think finding out at birth is a wonderful surprise and the baby being there, it is “easier” to deal with because you fall in love with them then and there.

    Mommax3 – people clearly don’t realise the hurt they cause with their comments – it’s sad but true – though I think most don’t mean to offend or upset (some are just plain stupid and don’t see it even when explained to them).
    You are right, nothing wrong for hubby to be the center of the universe of his harem of girls, that look at him with eyes full of love like he is the world’s greatest hero…I think the men actually have the easiest part in being the only men in a girl tribe! shame people can’t see that, my husband is definitely not traumatised having said that, as much as I wanted to be a boy mum, I try to project myself with my girls – even far in the future and hope to share lots with them, even as young adults etc and reckon if the affinities and bond are there,it must be awesome!

    to all!

    Ok I better run, have loads to do :P
    Lucky Mummy to 4 sweet divas
    (2013) (2015) (2018) (2021)
    (July 2014) (November 2023)
    Our sway didn’t work for #3 & we had a little oops for #4 but we love them all to bits... not sure if we ever will but somehow hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family, one day...

    Fingers crossed for TTC #5 (again) for early 2024!

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