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January 12th, 2019, 03:37 PM
#581
Dream Vet
TP thank you so much for updating us we have all been on the edge of our seats waiting for the news. I want to congratulate you but also know you are in pain right now so it's so hard to know what to say ( although 4 blue and others have said it so well already)
I know how much you wanted this and I know nothing can be said to make it better right now- as you said you have to take it day by day.
But just know we are all here for you- most of us know how it feels and we want to support you all we can.
Ps I must say I'm totally jealous of your labour experience it would have been my dream to labour naturally and drug free however I'm facing my third c section in the next couple of weeks. I'm in awe of your natural ability to birth so naturally xx
Proud Mum to two gorgeous boys
2014
2016
Swayed
expecting
beautiful DS3 due Feb 2019
Dreaming of a
in 2020
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January 12th, 2019, 03:41 PM
#582
[QUOTE=Nell_;1019167]Well done TP on your labour and congratulations on your new bundle. So sorry it wasn't what we hoped for you but like you say take 1 moment at a time, lots of ladies on here have been where you are and will be a great support.
We are all here for you!! Do you have anyone in the "real world" you can get support from too and vent to?
sending hugs xoxox
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January 12th, 2019, 04:17 PM
#583
Swaying Advice Coach
Hugest congrats Panther on new baby girl - I'm so sorry it didn't go the way we were all hoping it would. Wishing you peace and joy.
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January 12th, 2019, 04:19 PM
#584
Dream Vet
Originally Posted by
4blue2pink
Congratulations on the safe arrival of your healthy baby girl TP and im so happy to hear you had the drug-free natural birth that i know you wanted (i told you it was going to be quick
) nursing like a champ and no tears is fantastic!!
i am so sorry this wasnt your boy
i completely understand the sadness and everyone around you expects you to be on cloud 9 dont they.. I haven't really touched on my post-birth experiences with my boys (especially the ones born after the loss of our baby girl) as i feel its maybe too extreme and certainly doesnt fit with the general experience of "falling in love and not wanting to change a thing the second they are in your arms" im glad the majority of ladies do experience that!! but i never did... You are not alone in feeling how you do
i am also very glad to hear that your dh stepped up during your labour and was supportive
if he is at least acknowledging your grief it sounds like maybe things with him are moving in a more positive direction, i truly hope it feels that way for you.
im not sure if my post is going to make much sense.. how can i be sincere about being both "so happy" and "so sorry" but i really do feel a mix of both after reading your update, i want to celebrate your positive birth, healthy baby and what i really hope is an improved situation with dh while being devastated for you that this wasn't your son
i hope that somehow all of this makes some sort of sense..
finally and slightly off topic.. i would like to say Congratulations to your oldest daughter on becoming a big sister
i know how much she has wanted this role and i hope it is every bit as magical and exciting as she had hoped for
Thinking of you and wishing you as much peace as possible as you get to know your new addition and settle into this new dynamic, i have no doubt that you are going to BOSS having 2!! but be kind on yourself, rest when you can and remember that we are all here for you whenever you need us
lots of love xxx
I wouldn’t have said it better...
Congrats on a healthy baby, and a great labour and supportive husband. Well done you! I’m sure your eldest is going to Be soooo proud of you, of her, of her sister.
I have been there, and so, so, so understand..my heart breaks for you because I know the place where you are at, and it.is.tough.
Don’t feel guilty for not having an immediate bond..even with the “best case scenario “/ dreamed gender etc, that rush of love is not necessarily there straight up and may take time to build. So just take it one day at a time, you are strong, and you will be strong..and be stronger than you think - even though it feels like your world is crumbling somewhat, things will get better, I promise. All in your own time. feel free to reach out whenever you need it - you will never be judged here.
Xx
Sending you so many
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January 12th, 2019, 06:54 PM
#585
Congrats!! I'm so relieved for you that it was so quick. Jealous too. I've been there many times, having 5 boys and we all get you. Hugs. I hope you heal well and find all the possible joys with this baby. My 5 boys look identical and have the same brown hair and brown eyes. Dh is blonde/red with blue green eyes. Every time I didn't get that girl I felt so ignored for my dreams. I just wanted even a different hair color or eye color... my whole house is blue, all their clothing passed to the next. My two sways ended in MC and now I'm due in the summer. I don't even want to check because I'm just not ready to face boy number 6. Even though I expect it. So tons of hugs from all us moms that totally get it.
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January 12th, 2019, 07:19 PM
#586
Dream Vet
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January 12th, 2019, 08:17 PM
#587
Dream Vet
Originally Posted by
Throwaway_panther
Baby is a girl.
Two hour labor after all was said and done, and managed pain med free despite pitocin and had no tears despite 3 pushes total to get baby out. 8 lb, 11 oz and 20.5 inches at officially 41+2.
I'd appreciate if all of you won't do the "meant to be" lines and so on. I'm not devastated but very sad that I was right all along and went through so much for my journey to still not be over, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that this baby doesn't feel like a rainbow -- that the storm is still there.
I am not as bonded or instantly in love like I was with DD, so I'm just trying to take it moment by moment. Feels surreal to say "she" honestly. But she is nursing like a champ and looks so different from DD that I'm just trying to learn this new person. Labor actually seemed to bring DH and I together even though I know he and others on my team can tell I am still carrying grief with this baby.
I so thought at the beginning of this pregnancy that something was finally going to go my way! But all I can think of now is how the last 3 years of misery could still have been paving the way for me to still hopefully get my boy. So just taking things moment by moment.
Oh TP you are so strong both physically and mentally. Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little girl. It's ok to still grieve that this wasn't the boy you dreamed of, I know from experience that it doesn't mean you'll love DD2 any less. For me DD2 has so much more of my personality than DD1 and as she grew and I got to see more of who she was it made me more and more proud to be her mum. For me the disappointment of not having a son hasn't gone away but when I see my two girls together it reminds me that they are not disappointed in their siblings at all and their girly bond has just become so strong over the last year that I'm actually very happy for them.
I wish you all the best in the newborn haze and know that you have a safe place here to process your emotions.
DD1 (2014)
DD2 (2016)
Our
sway is getting into NOW or NEVER territory
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January 13th, 2019, 06:04 AM
#588
Congratulations TP on your new bubba and your quick labour! Your DD1 must be over the moon to be a big sister
As everyone else has said I’m so sorry you didn’t get your boy and I send you a huge hug for that but I do hope you’re recovering well and I’m sure the bond with DD2 will come xx
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January 13th, 2019, 11:32 AM
#589
TP congratulations!! So sorry for how you are feeling now. I so admire your ability to birth without pain meds despite pitocin, wow you are amazing for doing that. Hoping you have a quick recovery and that all of the bonding hormones take over and allow you to find a joy in you that you never even expected. Whatever your process may be, take your time and know that all of your feelings are ok.
Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Xo
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January 13th, 2019, 11:45 AM
#590
Dream Vet
TP, congratulations that you and baby are healthy. It sounds like an amazing birth! I will try to think of your borth story of I am on Pitocin again- you are strong!
I am sorry you didn't have a boy and that it hurts so much not to have the gender you wanted. I hope you feel more peace pver time as you grieve that loss.
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