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October 10th, 2013, 10:37 AM #2081
B&G I fear you are not going to approve of how I raise my boys... But we are totally open about body parts and just treat them as normally as any other part.
Ds1 calls my boobies boobies, because that's what they are and his interest hasn't really gone beyond that. He knows Mummy and Daddy have different parts. He has watched me breastfeed and understands only Mummy's can do that because only Mummy's have boobies.
I should think the only reason your DS is so curious is because he is not familiar and children just want to learn and understand. I really wouldn't worry, his interest is perfectly natural. I also wouldn't worry about Grandma wearing revealing tops, if its not her it will only be someone else.
Sorry if I am treading on delicate ground, our principles are clearly different but the one thing to say is please don't worry about your DS. And do be aware the more we hide things the more we spark their interest.
Good luck with it all! :-)
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October 10th, 2013, 10:42 AM #2082
As a final point, and again perhaps this is different for you... But when it's out I let the kids run around naked, they do so with their friends girls and boys, and when little sister comes along she will do the same. They love naked time! It also will become apparent girls have different parts when you go swimming or to the beach or when someone else is breastfeeding their child. What I'm tying to say is I don't think you'll be able to stop DS noticing girls are different. And in noticing that they are different I don't think you'll stop the interest as to why and how...
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October 10th, 2013, 11:41 AM #2083Moderator
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I totally agree with you Tree. We're very open too & at one point in my pregnancy ds1 would pop into the bathroom while I showered each day for a quick look at my tummy to make sure it was growing bigger. Then he was reassured that the baby was growing fine too. My parents were very open when we were growing up & it was only when we hit puberty that my Dad would cover himself up totally. My sis & I grew up completely aware of how men looked through my Dad not hiding away when he showered. I know it can come across as sounding really dodgy but I assure you it was all totally above board.
We teach our boys that their bits are theirs & theirs only & to respect other peoples' too. They aren't really that curious as they've grown up aware of the differences between men & women. They don't know how babies are made yet but we will give them a basic outline of it all when they're ready. I don't think hiding our bodies from children work as their minds are so different to adults' that it can end up making a taboo of something totally normal. Obviously the topic does have to be handled with tact & care though. I appreciate that some of you ladies come from different cultural backgrounds & don't want to offend at all. However this way of approaching the topic seems to be fairly accepted & standard in the UK.
Sent from my LG-E400 using Tapatalk 22007 2009 2013 (My VBA2C & sway opposite baby)
So proud to announce that after many long years of GD our precious DAUGHTER joined us in June 2016!!
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October 10th, 2013, 11:45 AM #2084
Black & gold - I'm sorry you're having to deal with this! I haven't had to (yet), so don't have much advice. Totally sounds like the interest was peaked by the first little girl...how frustrating! I agree with Tree, though, the more hidden and secret the parts are, they probably become even more curious. But don't feel badly about being modest! Just understand that his curiosity is normal! My DS1 is 6, and I try to cover up around him...but don't worry too much if he walks in while I'm dressing or something. I'm sure he will see me bf DS4, and I am not concerned about it. I don't worry too much about DS2 yet, and certainly not DS3, so I guess we are just a little looser about it. Will be an interesting dynamic if we have a DD after all these little boys, as I'm sure they will see each other and recognize clearly that her parts are different from theirs. But they already know that because they know I'm a girl and that my parts are different. Ah well, that's a bridge I will cross once I get to it! Anyway, good luck navigating those waters!
Sorry for the lack of personals...hope everyone is well!
20-wk appt. yesterday...all is well. Starting to get comments from random people now, guess it's obvious I'm preggo. Most comments have been nice or neutral, but I got a truly negative one yesterday...Had all 3 boys with me to pick up DS2 from preschool. DS3 was wanting to run around the school and didn't want to leave, so unfortunately, I had to pick him up literally kicking and screaming when leaving. One mom (who of course has her perfect little girl and boy) looks at me with a look of disgust on her face and says, "OMG, and you're pregnant with your fourth! Are you just going to assume it's another boy??" I told her it was another boy and that yes, it was going to be crazy. Nothing else was said. Grrr. That kind of comment is exactly what I was dreading about being pg with boy#4...it just brings back all my negative feelings. I still just can't believe we haven't had at least one girl out of four. Ugh, I just don't understand. One day I will, I'm sure, and will be glad for it. I really do trust God's plan, but it's still painful. Still holding out for a girl next time, assuming we do it again. I really go back and forth about it, but at the moment feel like we almost HAVE to...feel like God said it, and now He's gotta do it! Exciting on one hand, so scary on the other. Fortunately, that's a ways away, so I don't need to stress over it now!
My grandpa is still hanging on, but he is in hospice care, and not at all expected to recover. So it's just a waiting game at this point...I did get a chance to say goodbye, which I am so grateful for.
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October 10th, 2013, 12:49 PM #2085
Tree, Dreamofpink, rainbowgirl - I totally see where your coming from and don't have a problem with that approach at all if your child responds fine to it. I noticed very early on that DS1 (who is the most observant child ever) would stare at me if I was changing and was clearly aware of a difference in bodies. I decided at that point - whether right or wrong - that I thought I wouldn't let him walk in if I was showering, or only let him see me changing if I had a bra and underwear on, but he did see me while I BF'd DS2 until he was probably 2.5yrs. He has always been interested and we have always just said the whole "boys and girls are different, blah blah blah.. but private parts are private so you keep them to yourselves" and we didn't really make it an issue until there were issues with other kids. I feel like some kids hear that stuff once and then are over it and it's never an issue, and there are others that are just really really curious so they might be more apt to take it too far. Maybe had I been more open earlier on and not cut him off so early from things he'd not care? Ohhhh could of, would of, should of...right! I hate how with parenting you can second guess almost every choice you make! Thanks for your advice ladies
Last edited by black&gold; October 10th, 2013 at 01:03 PM.
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October 10th, 2013, 02:13 PM #2086IVF Advice Coach
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Hi ladies. This thread is WAY too big so I am closing it and starting another for you!
Here is your link-
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/due-...tml#post480264Mom to
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