Dreaming Pink Opposites Due Winter 2013/14

[myrainbowgirl]

Charlee - PLEASE rest as much as you can. Yay that your DH took care of the boys for you...hopefully he can handle it as much as possible so you can REALLY take it easy.

AFM - Looked a little more at Microsort...turns out, overall pg rates are only 12-15%, and not particularly recommended for someone who will be my age when I try again. Ugh. Don't think DH will be up for $5000 with only those odds (and I don't think I am either!) But, IVF/PGD is seriously daunting, with all the protocol, and no guarantee of a baby at the end, or how many cycles (and more $) it would take to get there. We *could* do the money, but really we don't have it just set aside for a rainy day, ya know?? While DH is willing, I am beginning to wonder if I am. At least with adoption, there's a guarantee of a baby in the end. BUT, it can actually end up being the most expensive option out there! Sooo...really beginning to ponder another sway. It is obviously SUPER risky, but I may hang around here just to see how the stats play out...and may just roll the dice again. Oh, but I just don't know if I can go through this heartbreak again. The one thing I would ABSOLUTELY change would be intense exercise. Didn't think I could do it, because I was too thin already, but obviously, I o'd just fine at a low BMI and got pg the first time. So, we'll see. An oops pg would also be a decent option, since there would be no obsessing. And of course, my final option is to accept being an all-boy mom and just choose to be happy with my 4 little blessings!

[oxox2013]

Hey everyone! I havent checked in with you all in awhile. Just caught up on the posts... looks like everyone is doing so good for the most part.

Charlee I have really been thinking about you lately. I hope you dont mind, but on days where my GD is really kicking my butt, I think of you and all of the things you have been through and how great your attitude seems to be and I strive to put on my brave face and keep my head up! You are so amazing. And now to be put on bedrest! I am thinking of you and that sweet boy of yours and hoping he stays cooking for a long time.

AFM, I think I am doing better. Still having a lot of moments of "why couldnt I just have this ONE thing??" Sadly, I have had several pity me moments. There have been a few times that I have tried to do something to get pumped about boy number 3 but I just feel so lost still. Im really hoping it gets better soon. Two weeks yesterday since we found out. I have really been looking into a fourth but I dont know if I could do it again if its going to be another boy. I have been trying to get my DH on board with HT but I dont think its super promising. I really wish I could just accept my hand and be happy with it!

[EmmyRoo]

Thanks for your replies, I am feeling a bit better today than on Wednesday! I had a chat with DS1 last night about being nicer to each other and he seemed to take it on board. It'll remain to be seen whether he actually changes his behavour much though!
I think I need to work on that thing of counting to ten before reacting, cos at the moment I just blow up instinctively at the boys and that is never good.

I think this is a big part of my GD too, I hate to think that strangers in the street are looking at me struggling to control my boys, then at my bump, and thinking "what on EARTH is she doing having a third kid when she can't deal with the two she has?!". I don't know how having a girl bump would make any difference to that, maybe just my knowledge that I would be having a totally different, calm girl this time instead of another rowdy boy.

On a more positive note though, I have to say that after reading these forums for 18 months now, and seeing the horrible comments some people have got from others re. gender, I am so pleasantly surprised at how FEW negative comments I've had. I actually think it is helping me to try to reframe my thoughts and feelings on having boys. I am someone who seems to need constant validation from others (god knows why, I really bug myself being like this) so I think having people say nice things about having all boys is acutally making me think "yeah, maybe it IS ok having all boys, maybe the world DOESN'T pity me, perhaps boys AREN'T universally thought of as an awful booby prize in the baby-gender-lottery?". I totally get how having the negative comments makes GD so much harder too. I've had them from my Grandma and my boy-mum Aunt so far, but I really do think it's THEIR own feelings on boys and experience of boys that they're referring to, rather than a comment on MY boys, iykwim?

How is everyone doing today? Hope you are all good, we'll get there!

x

[Charlee]

Hey everyone! I havent checked in with you all in awhile. Just caught up on the posts... looks like everyone is doing so good for the most part.

Charlee I have really been thinking about you lately. I hope you dont mind, but on days where my GD is really kicking my butt, I think of you and all of the things you have been through and how great your attitude seems to be and I strive to put on my brave face and keep my head up! You are so amazing. And now to be put on bedrest! I am thinking of you and that sweet boy of yours and hoping he stays cooking for a long time.

AFM, I think I am doing better. Still having a lot of moments of "why couldnt I just have this ONE thing??" Sadly, I have had several pity me moments. There have been a few times that I have tried to do something to get pumped about boy number 3 but I just feel so lost still. Im really hoping it gets better soon. Two weeks yesterday since we found out. I have really been looking into a fourth but I dont know if I could do it again if its going to be another boy. I have been trying to get my DH on board with HT but I dont think its super promising. I really wish I could just accept my hand and be happy with it!

That is so sweet! Of course I don't mind... and I'm glad that I can help in any possible way to sort out your GD feelings. I had some VERY rough days too, and I still feel it's a tad bit unfair that I didn't get my way (LOL!) but in the end I started this journey to have another child.... a sweet, precious baby. A girl would have been the icing on the cake, but I keep coming back to the thought that this baby was meant to be!

And maybe, just maybe, one day I will have a little girl (Although I might just have to steal one at this rate! hahaha)

[Charlee]

Emmy and myrainbowgirl - I can totally relate to your DS's driving you crazy at the moment... My boys don't start school until Sept 3rd and I'm literally counting the hours! They are fighting so badly since they have been together so much this summer... I have the utmost respect for people who homeschool because I know for a fact I could never do it... I don't have the patience!!! They are saints in my book

[myrainbowgirl]

oxox - I feel your pain. Last night, we were at DS1's school's grand opening (he's going to a brand-new school this year)...they were running around on the field, and I couldn't help but look around at all the families, almost all with mixed gender, of course, and think...I just wanted one. Just ONE girl. Nope, four boys. Ugh, so sad. I am just feeling sorry for myself, though, I understand that I am so blessed...just need to change my attitude!

Charlee - How's baby doing?? Sorry to hear your DS's are driving you nuts, too. Sept. 3rd, Sept. 3rd, Sept. 3rd...LOL!!

Emmy - So glad people are being nice! I am so dreading announcing. Maybe I need to give people more credit! I just know all the stupid comments I've gotten in the past, so I guess I am just bracing myself for it. I had a very sweet friend e-mail me yesterday to say she was thinking about me...wondering about my gender results, etc., etc. I e-mailed her back to tell her and told her how much I was struggling. This morning she came by my house and dropped off a cute little cupcake (along with a sweet note) from a fancy cupcake shop! Love her! So yeah, I guess people aren't so bad.

AFM - Am starting to warm up to the thought of IVF/PGD. Seems to be the best bet for my age. Pretty much have ruled out Microsort. Am also pondering another sway, but I am nervous that DH's sperm may be the culprit (at least in part). I have read Atomic's essay on all men making 50/50 sperm, and I totally agree, but she does state that doesn't mean that there aren't other biological or environmental factors that could have an affect on the x or y sperm, potentially making one type always more likely to win the race. If I wasn't worried about that, I might be more likely to try another sway in order to avoid spending all that money. I guess we'll see.

[Mabel_79]

Hi, can I join your group please?
Sorry I haven't taken time to read all the 19 pages of posts yet- I will get round to it!
I have taken myself off Facebook and InGender as all the girls I know who are pregnant or who I swayed with are having girls and while I'm happy for them, I am so sad I'm not. Actually, that's a lie- I'm not really happy for them- feeling so bitter right now that I wish they were having boys and I was having the girl.
So, it would be nice to join a group of other Mums who are having boys but wanted girls.

It took me 4 years to convince/bully my husband into trying for no.3 as I was so desperate for a daughter. But he will never agree to 4 so this is my last chance gone. Starting to come to terms with it and don't feel so sad during the day ant more, but can't stop dreaming every single night about gender related things (last night it was that the sonographer had got wrong and it was a girl after all), so I guess it must be on my mind a lot.

A few people on the Gender Dissapointment thread recommended that I 'named' the baby in order to try and feel better about it but I am totally stuck for names. Husband and I have only ever had one name we agree on and it's a girls name! We ended up naming our other sons a bit randomly and more than a week after they were born as we just couldn't think of any we both liked. So wondered if you would be willing to share any baby boy names you are thinking of calling your Christmas babies. Or names of your other boys.
Xx

[EmmyRoo]

Welcome Mabel and huge to you. It looks from your signature that we're in similar positions. This is my last chance baby too, it's not a nice place to be, trying to accept there are no more chances. This is a good and supportive thread though, I hope we'll all come to be happy with our lot in the end.

X

[myrainbowgirl]

Mabel - Welcome! I am having my 4th boy. It has been such a heartbreak...I have actually been quite shocked at how horrible I've felt, as I really thought I was ok with another boy. About a week and a half after finding out, I can tell you that I am beginning to feel better. Yes, trying to think of names here, too, and finding it difficult. My DH and I had a perfect girl name picked out, too, and hadn't given another boy name a single thought. So I feel your pain! I have a Jonathan Henry, Joshua Maxwell, and Benjamin Joseph. Right now, leaning towards William David (to honor our dads) for this little guy. But not settled yet. We have chosen very strong/classic/Biblical names, and I really love them. Not sure what your name "style" is, but there are mine! GL choosing, and congrats on sweet boy #3!

[Mabel_79]

Thanks ladies- love your names myrainbowgirl. I currently have a Rowan Joseph and an Alexander Louis. We are seriously stuck for names this time though!! Xx