Dreaming Pink Opposites Due Winter 2013/14

[I Love Ladybugs]

We have never had an opps..... always thought that it would be a girl if we did, but I know my sister's two daughters were planned pregnancies...so I doubt that generalization of opps=girl is not true for our family. That is why I had hoped that swaying would work
My hubby and I were briefly talking this am about a fourth.....I think that we won't go for it, but he has not ruled it out. It most likely means I would have to come up with another awesome boy's name!!

Grace....I would do the same if $$$ was the option, we had talked about HT once upon a time and it can't be denied that our second son might not have existed if we would have made the journey then. I feel that I am not to choose to spend our current funds towards a HT daughter...but my selfish little heart thinks about it! It would be wonderful if you won the lotto and had your little girl with some of the winnings!!!

3boys....go with your heart....don't feel any judgement from others. Lol, I feel like a hypocrite saying that, because it is fear of what others would say of a fourth that is holding me back, fear of myself/hubby resenting the other if we did have a fourth boy, fear of feeling guilt for not wanting a fourth son, and then I cry. A fourth lad would be a blessing...I can see it for you and Grace that your newest little boys are going to bring love and healing and why would I deny that for myself?

For the moment, I have to believe that our third and final child will make our family complete. I am testing the waters that when I hold my boy for the first time, I will feel wholeness over gender desire. My heart's desire has always been to raise both genders....what does my future hold?

[EmmyRoo]

3boys you should have four if you want, to hell with what people think, it's none of their business! A generation or two ago having four or more was the norm, if you can afford it why not have as many as you like? I think people's comments are more about their own feelings towards large families, but just because they don't want to do that doesn't mean everyone else feels the same.

Unfortunately we can't afford to have more than three, in fact I'm stressing already about how we are going to cope financially with three. I kind of thought we can limit Childcare costs by me being on maternity leave until DS2 starts school next aug, but over and above that I'm just kind of hoping something comes long, a pay rise, promotion, modest lottery win! Lol! It's a bit scary though.

I'm loving the ways you're all working on contentment with your boy families. I had friends over this evening and the subject of the baby's gender came up, of course I admitted to wanting a girl but said its almost definitely another boy. I kind of almost convinced myself that I was ok with it! I can't stand the thought of people feeling sorry for me if they know the truth. I did say something about being one of four girls and how I imagine my boys will just be the male version of that dynamic, and I liked that thought. It's like that photo that went round Facebook of a Mum and her three sons, who recreated a family photo taken when the boys were kids as a present to their dad. The comedy and love on their faces as they all posed in similar clothes, the youngest even being held by his mum in an approximation of how she was holding him as a baby in the original pic, it was clear what fun they were having and what lovely family memories they shared. That's what I try to think of when I imagine my boys, it doesn't HAVE to mean they won't be close to me just because we can't go to spas together. Hell, maybe they'll WANT to go to spas with me! Lol! I'll try and find that pic, that would be a positive image for this thread.

X

[Dreamofpink]

Emmy, how did your friends react? I had the 'oh' when I told some the other week and nothing else! That hurt in itself and I'm dreading seeing them again next week. I really have to work on outward excitement about having another boy even when these people knew how much I wanted a girl.

I think I have boys as I'd still rather climb a big old tree (minus bump of course!) than go to a spa. I've got ants in my pants and would rather turn over rocks at the beach than sit and have my nails painted! I was always told that I should've been a boy and my Dad happily indulged me as he would've loved a son rather than 2 girls. Now he'll have 3 grandsons and he's delighted! What I'm trying to say is that boys fit who I am and who I've always been a lot better than a houseful of girls. It's just that the one huge part that I define myself by - being a Mum - I can't share with them. That's what hurts if I'm totally honest. I can share child-rearing with them, just not child-bearing and all the wonder that goes with it. There are some lovely stories on different threads from women who are very close to their MILs, including Atomic. I think the more boys we have the better the chance that we'll have at that. My mum's only really close to me as my sister is still quite self-contained and lives a good few hours drive away.

Grace, I would love to go HT and think it'd be great if we won the lottery - got to start playing it! I really understand why many do go HT and like you Ladybugs, the selfish part of me would love to save every penny for it. I know that I could only do it if money was no object.

3boys, I've thought of going to 5 as well! If our house sale goes through this time, we'd have the room in our next house. Not sure if my DH would want me committed for the thought though, lol! He stupidly said at our scan just before we found out, "no-more for us!" My silence at that comment said a whole lot more Seriously though, sod everyone else and their stupid comments. Follow your heart as you don't want to have any regrets when you're older and these people are long forgotten. I guess I'm used to stupid comments with the whole home-ed thing and love that we're in the minority being a family with 2 children as most have 4 or 5. In fact one lady I know of has 3 boys and is now expecting twin boys! Wowsers! That scares me a little I guess, but I'd rather have the extra love that another little boy brings than not at all. Ladybugs, your pic with the quote is something I want to try & live by!

I finally hit the shops today and loved picking out some gorgeous boys clothes in the summer sales. All the summer clothes that I have are in 0-3 months size, which this one will definitely not fit into next summer! I also bought a beautiful Winnie-The-Pooh babygro to take into hospital for him. I have taken pics to share with you, but the battery's died on my camera so I'll have to upload them tomorrow. Yes, I'll admit the girl's clothing did cause a pang or two, but I LOVE dungarees on a little boy and went a bit mad buying 3 pairs in 6-9 months size. I hope it's warm enough next summer for him to get full wear out of them! I am still knitting like mad for him too but haven't finished anything to share with you all yet as I tend to work on a few items at the same time. I will do though.

[grace03]

Big sigh of relief today even though I feel bad about it and wouldn't wish gd on anyone .. A friend of mine is pregnant due same day as me has 3 boys already even our first children have the same first name ( before we met ) anyway I was waiting for her to message me with what she was having for her oops baby as I was too afraid to ask ! She messaged and said she is having a boy how about me ?
I hope she didn't want a girl badly and is having feelings like me ( she doesn't give much away ) but its the one family in the real world that if she had a girl I would struggle to see if you know what I mean ?

Hope you don't mind the double post I posted this in the other thread but I thought it was relevant in this thread for us with all boys xx

[I Love Ladybugs]

Grace03....I am the only one who I know who is having a third boy...the only one who is going to hear the comments about being without a daughter. I get how you feel. There is something about still having the "same" as another that gives a bond....one of my closest IRL friends has just had 2 girls after having 2 boys. I thought that I would have had 1 girl and that our paths would have been similar. (((hugs))) for both you and your friend.

Dream...can't wait to see pix!!!!! We bought a few things for this boy just because, I needed a decent retail therapy session...my hubby has found 2 bags at our share shack and made me sort out the cute stuff for a tiny boy and a few things for a bigger before returning them to the dump. I don't know if that counts...he feels it was

Emmy......I have been thinking of you lately.....probably because as much as I would love the gamble for a fourth, three is where my hubby feels stretched with. I believe that I will be giving up my dream of ever a daughter to have what we need as a family. I will get to work part-time and raise my little boys...that is my new dream! The part I am struggling with is how my "friends" respond to new baby boys...they get a single congrats, baby girls are showered with presents, affection and comments for upwards of the first year. That probably is my biggest and bitter pill to swallow....so I will just spit it out and be careful to guard my heart when he is new on the scene!

Being surrounded here by awesome boy moms is making me feel better, stronger and more resolute in celebrating how amazing these boys are!!!!!

[Dreamofpink]

Ladybugs, my thoughts will be with you tomorrow. I'm hoping that everything will be okay with your little man and you can start looking forward to his arrival. He's a strong little boy and I'm sending lots of love from across the pond x x

[Lastsong]

Hi guys, EmmyRoo suggested I come over here. I had a gender scan on Saturday and was told that I'm having another son. While I'm coming to terms with it, I'm also slightly in denial because I was so certain this was our girl, so I'm hanging out for my anatomy scan in two weeks just for confirmation. This is baby number two for us and DH insists he only wants two, but I'm praying he changes his mind and am looking into HT to get an idea of costs just in case he does.

[I Love Ladybugs]

Lastsong..... ((((hugs)))) My hubby's number of kids was 2-3, mine was 2 or 4....so we always agreed that 2 was the number we would go with. When we found out DS2 was just that at the 19 week u/s, he said that he was good to try again for our daughter the fall of 2012. I know how if feels to lose out the dream......temporarily and now most likely forever. Lots of (((hugs))), but if you are able to sweet talk him into HT, I wish you a OHW for your daughter!!!

AFM...I thank you all for the hugs, support and prayers and will update ASAP after tomorrow's appt.

[Dreamofpink]

Welcome Lastsong, it's so hard when DH refuses to have anymore after ds2. As you can see I did get him to agree to more, but not without a lot of fights. He's happy now though and while he'll never be jumping with joy having more after, I think he knows how important it is to me. I really hope that your DH comes round, give him time and FX you can give your little boys a sister. FWIW, boys really need brothers. I couldn't see that when ds2 was born, but my goodness my two are so close and are best buddies! They look at us in horror if we ever suggest they have their own room, so our spare room is just a dumping room until this LO is born. Well, until we move anyway! I hope that you get to go the HT route and get your DD.

Ladybugs, your news is by far the most important today and I will be thinking of you and your little boy all day. I'm really hoping to hear a good update later on and will keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong and keep believing the best for this LO. ((hugs)) x x

[Dreamofpink]

Welcome Lastsong, it's so hard when DH refuses to have anymore after ds2. As you can see I did get him to agree to more, but not without a lot of fights. He's happy now though and while he'll never be jumping with joy having more after, I think he knows how important it is to me. I really hope that your DH comes round, give him time and FX you can give your little boys a sister. FWIW, boys really need brothers. I couldn't see that when ds2 was born, but my goodness my two are so close and are best buddies! They look at us in horror if we ever suggest they have their own room, so our spare room is just a dumping room until this LO is born. Well, until we move anyway! I hope that you get to go the HT route and get your DD.

Ladybugs, your news is by far the most important today and I will be thinking of you and your little boy all day. I'm really hoping to hear a good update later on and will keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong and keep believing the best for this LO. ((hugs)) x x